Army life: Sore legs, phone calls & a little understanding..

Posted on February 8, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s been 3 days since Berkay walked through those doors and started his national service.

So far he’s managed to call me once everyday, for around 1 minute each time, and although that’s been brilliant I’m trying not to get my hopes up that it will continue to prevent disappointment!

On the 2nd day, he called me in the evening and told me he hadn’t done much, just checked in, got his army uniform, been introduced and eaten. He seemed thrilled they had ‘red meat, pasta and yogurt’ for dinner, I think he’s eating better there than he did back at home in Fethiye! When I was living there red meat like steak and beef was a real treat as it’s so expensive, but since I’ve been back in England he’s not been buying food to cook for himself at all and he had been eating snall ‘pop kek’ cakes for dinner instead! He also said there are 400 people all sleeping in the same room, presumably in bunk beds or similar… it’s a good thing he’s so social, I’m sure he’s already made lots of friends, he talks to anyone and everyone.

One thing (well, one of many..) that is frustrating about the whole national service process is the fact that they aren’t paid at all for their time. This means that with Berkay having no income for year, he won’t be able to save, so it’s all down to me to save for our ‘future’, which is overwhelming at the best of times, even more so when I haven’t even got a job yet! I’ve been looking since I arrived back in December and haven’t had much luck. I had an interview on Friday morning and it seems like a job I’d really enjoy, so fingers crossed for that.

While I was on the train on the way to the interview, I had an unexpected morning phone call from Berkay. He’d previously called in the evenings so it caught me off guard, but I was so pleased to hear his voice and it put me in a good mood before my interview, even if it was a very short 30 second phone call before we got cut off as the train entered a tunnel.

I had another call from him this morning, he told me he had 10 minutes of free time and had ran to the phone to talk to me quickly. He’d been running, doing push ups, sit ups and other such exercise his body isn’t used to! I have visions of a ‘an officer and a gentlemen’ style scene in my head! “I’m so tired I can’t move my legs, they hurt so much” he said, yet he still ran to the phone to talk to me, bless.

The unpredictable phone calls are a little annoying, having to take the phone to the shower, toilet, panic if Three loses signal for a couple of seconds or if I’m in a dodgy connection zone. He doesn’t get much free time and if I miss his call, that’s it for the day. People don’t seem to understand this and laughed when I mentioned it, that’s alright if you have your loved ones with you, an arms reach, a text or a phone call away isn’t it? Thank goodness we don’t have to rely on good old ‘snail-mail’ though.

I am so, so grateful for the internet. I have met a few lovely girls whose partners are also currently doing or have already done their national service and it is such a comfort talking to them knowing they understand exactly what I’m feeling. Whether its moaning about lack of phone calls, asking about what we’re allowed to send the men in the post or panicking about the little details of army life, they’ve been a great source of information and a great help. It’s frustrating having other friends and family dismiss my thoughts and feelings. I’ve developed a random rash on my face this week and several people suggested it could be stress. “Stress?” one family member laughed, “what have you got to be stressed about?”.. well, quite a lot, actually. Sigh.

Even hearing ‘it’ll go quickly’ drives me crazy, I know it’s meant well and time does inevitably pass, but that’s just it, no matter how quickly the time nay go, its still got to ‘go’, and that’s the hard part.

362 days and counting…

Army service has begun & the countdown begins..

Posted on February 6, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

Yesterday was the day I’d been dreading for years.

The inevitable finally happened and Berkay made the journey to Izmir to start his 12 month military service. It had been a massive obstacle for a long time, something that had been hanging over us for years, preventing us from really settling anywhere.

Every Turkish male (health permitting) has to do national service, most of them do it when they are younger, aged 18-19, but Berkay deferred it due to his college studies.

He’s 24 now and decided it was time to get it over and done with, so after spending his last week of freedom in his village in Denizli, he got on the bus and headed off back to Fethiye to visit Boncuk and meet his friend who would take him to his training base in Izmir. Its tradition for the males going off to the army to drive around in cars decorated with huge Turkish flags, so Berkay’s brother decorated his car and drove him around, beeping the horn loudly to let everyone know. It’s also common for them to fire gun shots and make as much noise as possible for their big send off, showing everyone how proud they are.

Berkay spent the night in Izmir city centre in a house belonging to a relative of his friend, and everything started to become very real. It hit me that this would be the last time I got a ‘I’m going to bed, goodnight, love you’ message for a long time, something that we normally said every single night.

A fairly sleepless night later, it was Wednesday 4th February. D-day. A morning of getting last minute things sorted. Berkay went off to the shops to buy a payphone card to contact me with and a bottle of shaving gel. He somehow managed to fit all of his things into one small, black rucksack. Of course the most important thing is the notebook book with my number written down in it and the wallet-sized photographs of me he took with him 😉

We had a few skype calls during the day, during one of which my dad spoke to him to say ‘stay safe and look after yourself’, ‘you too look after Danni’ was Berkays response! Finally, 2 pm came and the dreaded final skype call came ringing through on my iPad. He was standing outside the army base, waiting to go inside and give his phone to his friend for safe keeping. A couple of minutes later and that was it, he was gone – inside the Izmir army base (patriotically decorated with a HUGE flag of Ataturk) where he’ll complete his training before moving onto his main posting for the remainder of the 12 months.

A few hours later at 5.30 pm our time, he managed to get to a pay phone inside and I got my first ‘army phonecall’, I was so relieved. “I’m waiting to check in, there are so many people. There were 20 people waiting for phone but I wanted call you”…. that one phone call made me feel so much better. Bless him.

It’s so weird to think that after 4 and a half years of speaking to each other every single day, a total of 162,117 Facebook messages back and forth (yes, that is the actual number) and 3 years living together, suddenly our contact will be suddenly dramatically decreased. No more good morning or goodnight messages, no more ‘I’m on the bus going to work’ or ‘im just having a shower’ messages. No more moaning to him when I’m annoyed, no more quickly FaceTiming him to share good news or when I need his face to cheer me up. It’s really hard knowing he’s not just a Facebook message away. He will have no internet access until he gets days off or holidays when he is able to pop to an internet cafe, but neither of us have any idea when that will be. He doesn’t have his phone in there with him, a lot of people try to smuggle them in unnoticed, but if caught they can be punished with days in army-prison and forced to make up the extra days at the end of their service, it’s just not worth the risk. Instead we’ll have to make do with phonecalls, hopefully as regularly as possible. It’s the uncertainty that bothers me, and the not knowing when he’ll call, I’ll have to try and avoid no-signal zones as much as possible! Will I miss a call while I’m stuck on the underground trains? In the cinema, in the local supermarket with no signal, at work? I’m hoping we’ll settle into a routine soon enough though.

For now, I’ll settle for crossing the days off my calendar and going to bed and waking up with this little reminder staring at me. “Love you honey. Going to army but coming soon. Wait me”. He sent me this little post-it note along with some of my favourite Turkish treats in a package last week, all the way from Turkey. I’ve framed it and have it in my room, I love reading it over and over again!

364 days and counting.

Trees, sunsets and a hidden mine.

Posted on January 18, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

While we were in the village of Beyağaç back in November, we drove up a mountain road to a forest area and explored a little whilst hunting for mushrooms.

While we were up there the sun began to set and the trees looked absolutely beautiful with the orange glow behind them and I couldn’t resist taking a few photos as they just looked so magical!

While we were wandering around we came across a mine, I’m not sure if it’s still in use but it was pretty creepy. I checked online and I believe its a chromite mine. I wandered down to the entrance and had a peek in, there were spider webs everywhere and it was really eerie, I don’t know how anyone manages to work in mines like this, it wasn’t very tall at all… it reminded me of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!

We also found a huge hole in the ground, all sorts of weird and wonderful creatures live up in the mountains I’m sure, any suggestions as to what might have been living in this? It was quite wide and very deep, I couldn’t see the bottom.

We could see all of Beyağaç from the mountain, the views were stunning… fields, trees and farm land in all directions as far as the eye could see. It was so peaceful up there, although a little scary with the mine and I had visions of whatever animal was hidden in that giant hole coming out and chasing us back to the car… What a story that would have been!

Village adventure – day 3

Posted on December 3, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

We woke up on our last day in the village and knew we were going to be busy – we planned to leave the village at 12pm and travel to the nearest city center to visit more of Berkay’s relatives. The previous day Berkay’s dad had announced that since all the family was going to be together (including me, Berkay and both his brothers), something that happens very rarely, he was going to kill one of the animals from his garden so that we could all have a big family BBQ.
By the time we had woken up, had a shower and packed our bags ready to go, it was 10 o clock and Berkay’s grandad had just arrived to do the honors. I walked over to him to say hello with the traditional hand/head kiss and he seemed impressed by this, even more so when he said ‘nasilsin?’ and I answered in Turkish. There wasn’t much time to sit around and talk and we all headed out to the garden. I was walking around having one last look at all the animals and became friends with a goat, I was talking to him (yes…talking…) and he was licking my hand, it was all very sweet. Little did I know, that an hour later I’d be eating this goat for dinner.

Just 10 minutes after my encounter with the goat, Berkay’s brother walked into it’s little pen and led it around to the side of the house where they had been digging a hole. I knew what this meant, the poor goat was the chosen one.

I’m not sure what possessed me, but after giving him one last little stroke, I stood and watched as they removed it’s collar, laid it down with it’s head over the hole in the ground and tied it’s legs together. The goat didn’t protest at all, I guess it knew what was coming as much as the rest of us. Berkay’s grandad slit the goat’s neck, the blood drained out into the hole and that was that. Over in minutes. Quick, calm and as a little suffering to the goat as possible.

The worst part for me came after, was watching his grandad strip down a piece of skin from the goats ankle and blow air (from his own mouth…) into it, blowing the poor goat up like a balloon. I wasn’t entirely sure of the purpose of this, but I researched online and it says it makes it easier to skin them by doing this first. At this point I decided I didn’t want to watch anymore, and wandered back to the other animals instead, one of the sheep had actually escaped the pen it was in and was actually stood watching what they were doing to the goat… I wonder if it actually understood what was going on though.

I went with Berkay in the car to pick up his cousin and her daughter, who were coming back to the family house to enjoy the BBQ with the rest of us. It was a 20 minute drive and by the time we got back, the goat had been fully skinned and its meat was now lying on trays being chopped up into pieces. Including it’s head, eye, brain, intestines, liver and other organs. Bleugh. The family will probably make soup and other dishes out of these parts, they certainly don’t waste any edible parts – they even gave their dog the goats four raw hooves.

We all sat down to eat the BBQ, which included the lovely çintar mushrooms we’d found the day before, and it was really delicious. Of course I felt sorry for the poor animal we were eating, but I’m not vegetarian and eat alot of meat. We don’t usually think about where our food comes from because it’s all cleaned, neatly packaged and sold on supermarket shelves, we take it for granted and don’t consider where it actually comes from, so it’s definitely interesting, although a little disturbing, to see the process from furry animal in the garden to lump of cooked meat on your plate.

After eating, it was time to say our goodbyes. Berkay’s step-mum cried when we were going and gave us both big hugs. She is really sweet, she sent us home with a massive bag of onions, spinach, spring onions, nuts, butter, chicken and leftover goat, all things grown on their farm! I really, surprisingly enjoyed our time in the village, and I really didn’t expect to. It was just so peaceful there, so relaxing and it felt so far away from everything else, no worries, no thinking about anything.

us with Berkay’s stepmum.

But now it was time to change out of the village baggy pants, say bye to the lovely people and views and head to the city instead…

Our village adventure – Day 1

Posted on November 26, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Berkay’s family have been asking us to visit them for a long time and it was just impossible during the summer, however, now that it’s winter and life is moving by at a slower pace, we had the chance to make the trip. His step-mum is quite ill and recovering from an operation so we were hoping our visit would cheer her up a little.

They live in a town called Beyağaç in the Denizli province, it’s a town 1.5-2 hours away from the city centre. Instead of travelling on the bus from Fethiye for 6 hours, we rented a car for a relatively cheap amount (150tl for 3 days) and made the journey in just 4 hours instead, even with the cost of running it taken into consideration, it doesn’t work out much more expensive than the bus tickets, that’s the plus side of having a car that runs on LPG instead of petrol.

We left Fethiye at 1.45 pm on Friday and arrived at the village at around 6.15 pm. I was really looking forward to the drive because I knew it would be beautiful and I wasn’t disappointed, we had amazing views of the mountains and it was a relatively easy journey with nice roads. That’s the beauty of Turkey, you can reach almost any city just by following a single road. When in one place you can see sign posts pointing in all directions, directing you to other cities hundreds of miles away. Imagine being in London and seeing a sign post for ‘Manchester’ – it would be weird, but it’s normal here. So simple.

As we were driving further inland, we began to feel a bit chilly. When we reached a town near Tavas and stopped to fill up on gas, we realised just how cold it was. Freezing. We had to turn the car heater on to defrost ourselves.

Eventually we reached the town of Beyağaç, it’s actually a lot larger than I remember, with a population of 7000 people. Driving through the main town centre I saw a few apartment blocks, a post office, police station, school etc.. and of course the customary Ataturk statue (there’s one of these in every single town in Turkey). It’s very much a working farming town – most of the businesses deal with fixing tractors, delivering and supplying coal, animal food etc..

Berkay’s family live a 5-10 minute car drive from the main town centre, up on a hill surrounded by fields and beautiful scenery. They have wooden shacks behind their house full of animals, sheep, goats, chickens and cows. They use the cows for their milk, eggs and meat. They even make butter from the cow’s milk. Almost every fruit or vegetable they eat they have grown themselves. Everything there is very simple, back to basics.

We went inside and were greeted by his step-mum (from now on I’ll just call her his mum, as he has never met his birth mum), aunt and brother. All gave me a big hug and kisses both sides of my cheeks, as is the norm here in Turkey! ‘Who is that?’ I said to Berkay referring to the neighbours sitting in the living room that also joined in the hugging, ‘no idea’ he said… You have got to love their friendliness! After the welcome greetings were over, I felt a little more relaxed, I’m always nervous about that first ‘hello’ – mainly because I always end up in a panic about the polite way to do it. It’s normal here when greeting someone significantly older than yourself, to kiss their hand and then raise it to touch your forehead. It’s polite and shows that you respect your elders. The only person who really expects this in Berkay’s family is his father (and elderly neighbours etc). As it happened, his father arrived later than us so I had time to prepare for ‘the hand kiss’, I seriously practiced with myself first…

After his father arrived it was time for dinner. Berkay’s aunt is the main carer of the house, she goes every day and cooks, cleans etc, mainly because Berkays mum is ill, but also because her husband died a few years ago and her daughter has her own husband and house to take care of. I think she enjoys going to other people’s houses to spend her time being useful and so that she’s not so lonely.

The village is very traditional, the women do not work, they just stay home, cook, clean and look after the children and animals. I suppose it’s like going back in time 50 odd years in the UK , when housewives were the norm, and not frowned upon like they are today (in my experience, stay at home mums etc are often considered ‘lazy’). If I were to walk around the town centre, I would stick out like a sore thumb and it would be very apparent that I’m not from the area, not because I’m a foreigner, but because I’m a woman. There are just no women wandering around there, ever.

Anyway, the dinner was lovely. We had rice, chicken (fresh from the garden), an aubergine dish, yogurt and some fresh crusty bread. It was served in the traditional way here, in big metal bowls on a large tray on a blanket on the floor. The whole family sits on the floor to eat and shares food from the same bowl/plate, although everyone has their own fork/spoon. I really like this way of eating actually, it used to be a strange concept but now we do it so often it’s normal. It works out well if you don’t like a certain food too, instead of being served a plate of something and feeling under pressure to eat it, you can avoid it and take spoons of something you do like instead, they’ll never even notice! I avoided the yogurt, as I’ve still not quite grasped the concept of having yogurt served with dinner, but very much enjoyed the aubergine as I have become addicted to that since living in Turkey this time!

After dinner, everyone sat down with a glass of Cay and had a gossip, I have no idea what they were saying as I find it really difficult to understand a word. When in Fethiye, I can understand a lot, but there in the village it was different, I don’t know if it’s the dialect or if they just speak at super speed, but I can’t keep up with it. I just sat taking the atmosphere all in instead.

We were then served another large tray of fruit, watermelon, oranges, grapes, apples etc, sunflower seeds, nuts and cake. I didn’t want any but it’s rude to say no so I ended up eating a whole bowl of sunflower seeds, as you do, it’s impossible to eat just one!

We were really tired after the day of travelling so as soon as the neighbours went home at 10pm we headed to bed. Berkay’s mum wouldn’t let us sleep on the sofas in the living room or the cushions in the other bedroom (there’s only one bed in the house)- she made us take her bed instead, even though she’s sick. Bless her. These people might not have much themselves, but they are very welcoming and would give you anything.

Part 2 of our village trip coming soon!

Celebrating Kurban Bayram in Calis…

Posted on October 5, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

This weekend marked the start Kurban Bayram, a 4 day religious holiday here in Turkey.

Kurban Bayram is the festival of the sacrifice, where millions of people sacrifice an animal to commemorate the Islamic prophet Ibrahim’s willingness to sacrifice his son as an act of obedience to God. Animals such as cows, goats and most often, sheep, are sacrificed. Once sacrificed, the meat is shared out, some is given to the poor, some is kept for the family, and some is given to other relatives, friends and neighbours. Of course Kurban Bayram/Eid isn’t just celebrated in Turkey, it is celebrated by Muslims all over the world. In the UK the holiday is known as Ed-al-Adha.

While lots of people have time off from work for the holiday period, most people working in tourism will not have any time off at all, making it difficult for them to travel back to their families to celebrate, as they often live hundreds of miles away. Berkay is one of those people who works throughout the holiday and it is actually one of the busiest times at the hotel, so this weekend really just felt like any other!

We have no family at all here, they all live 4-5 hours away, so there was no chance to visit them. Instead, our old landlord invited us to go to their house for a BBQ. We used to live in the apartment above them so it was so weird being back there and seeing it all again. I used to love that old house, although walking back there yesterday made me realise how inconvenient it was, you can see that it is in the middle of lots of fields, there are sheep, goats, cows and chickens in the gardens and it was very much like a farm. From looking at the photo, you’d find it hard to believe that the tourist resort of Calis is just a 15 minute walk away.

We arrived at 11 o clock and missed the sacrificing of the goat, which I was thankful for. I stood on our balcony and watched the sacrifice 2 years ago, and although it was peaceful and the animal didn’t suffer for long, it was upsetting. We live in a day and age where we are truely spoilt, and are able to buy meat all cleaned up and neatly packaged in the supermarket, we see it as an item, and don’t consider that it was once an animal trotting around a field somewhere… I have nothing whatsoever against the sacrificing, I would be a hypocrite if I did as I enjoy meat far too much to be a vegetarian, however, sometimes ignorance is bliss. The good part is that none of the animal goes to waste, they use the skin and wool, and every edible part, including the tongue and brain (yuck). I suspect that a lot of the population of Turkey will be eating sheep, or goat, for breakfast lunch and dinner for the next few days!

While we were sat in the garden waiting for the BBQ to heat up, lots of people came to greet us with an ‘iyi bayramlar’ and a handshake, or when greeting people significantly older than ourselves, it’s our job to take their hand, gently kiss it then raise it to touch our foreheads as a sign of respect, something I still struggle to remember to do! Traditional bayram ‘seker’ or sweets were also handed out to us.

Once the BBQ was warmed up, a massive bowl of VERY fresh goat meat was plonked in front of us ready to be cooked. A wonderful spread of salad, aubergine salad, yaprak dolma (vine leaves stuffed with meat, rice and herbs), bread and of course lots of fresh meat, was laid out. Other neighbours, friends and relatives of these people came over and everyone shared the food. It was absolutely delicious. I really wonder why people don’t eat goat more often!

We stayed for around 3 hours then headed back home, Berkay went to sleep for the rest of the day, then straight to work at 8pm in the evening, no rest for the wicked! Whilst out walking Boncuk, I saw these two sheep in a garden near our house, I know their fate isn’t good, I was half tempted to go and rescue them! Instead I settled for patting them on the head. They’ll be somebody’s dinner tomorrow probably…

Although people may criticise ‘resort life’ as not being a true Turkish lifestyle, during holidays like this alot of people go back to their roots and participate in these old customs, at least this my experience here in Fethiye. I love taking part in their customs and traditions during days like this, I think I was more excited about it than Berkay was honestly!

Bayram continues until and including Tuesday, with banks, schools and government offices opening again on Wednesday. We won’t be doing anything else to celebrate, but tomorrow we are borrowing a friend’s car for the day and going for another BBQ, we have a fridge full of goat ribs given to us by Berkay’s friend, so it would be rude not to really, wouldn’t it?

Click HERE to read how Berkay celebrated bayram last year, although be warned that it does contain photos of animals during the sacrificing process that may upset some people.

One year ago today, leaving Turkey & the army..

Posted on September 27, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

This time last year I had just landed in England after packing up two years of my life and removing all traces of myself from my house here in Turkey. That was the worst day of my life so far, without question.

I remember crying from the minute I walked out of my front door, said goodbye to my dog and got in the car, to the moment I went through passport control at the airport, and then again regularly during the flight, especially when taking off and seeing Turkey, Berkay and Boncuk getting further and further away from me through the plane window. Actually thinking about it now still makes me want to burst into tears!

People normally look back and say ‘look how far we’ve come in the past year’, for me I’m still stuck in the same place. I stuck it out in England for 8 months working and decided to give it up to move back here for the summer, it’s nearly October now and I’m facing packing up and leaving my home, dog and Berkay all over again. I’m hoping it will be easier second time around but somehow I think that’s just unrealistic, wishful thinking.

Even though I’m still stuck in the same place and haven’t moved on at all in the past year, I don’t regret coming back here, even if it means another stupid goodbye… if anything, I regret getting on that plane a year ago, I wish I’d just stayed here for another year instead.

Alas, I am in the same situation, in a month or two I’m going to have to get on the plane again and watch as the things I love get further and further away until they’re just little blurry lights on the ground, tiny dots in a big, big world. It’s something I think about every single day. Everyday I’ll be doing something and catch myself thinking ‘maybe it’s the last time’. Maybe it’s the last time I’ll go to that shop, maybe it’s the last time we’ll eat a certain food, maybe it’s the last time we’ll go to a certain place. It feels like a never ending list of ‘lasts’. It’s awful, it’s constantly in my mind that I’ll be leaving here again one day very soon, a constant, dull, nagging in my brain driving me crazy, but I can’t do anything about it.

Berkay has yet to do his national service for the Turkish army. While we were shopping in Fethiye last week, we walked past the military office, while I went to Migros to buy bread, Berkay went in to enlist for the army. It’s something that is so casual here, it’s mindblowing to me! Every Turkish male has to do national service, it’s a part of their culture, I think Berkay is actually quite excited to go, it bothered him quite a lot that his younger brother completed his service a long time before him. It’s a very important milestone for most Turkish men, I suppose it links back to the pride they have in their country and their flag, they are very patriotic. Anyway, he enlisted and will be going away at the beginning of February 2015. He has to go for a year, a whole 12 months, although I believe he is entitled to a few weeks leave. Depending on where he’s based he should know far enough in advance that I will be able to book time off work to go out and visit him, and obviously I’ll be booking a flight out at the end of January to say bye too.

I really do not know how we’ll cope not being able to talk to each other daily, depending on where he is based he may be able to call me often, but we’re used to seeing each other everyday. Even during the months we were apart, we saw each other everyday on Facetime, skype or via good old MSN webcam in the ‘old’ days. We normally send each other hundreds of Facebook messages each day, ‘I’m awake now, just going to have a shower’ – ‘I’m just waiting for the train’ – ‘I’m in work, what you doing?’ etc, every single day, even while in the same country!! It will be so weird going about my day and not writing Facebook messages to him, of course he won’t have any internet access. I’ll probably still write long old messages to him when I need a rant to someone, but it will be like talking to myself, there will be nobody to answer, nobody to share my day with.

Anyway, the current plan is to leave Turkey in November sometime to find a job, earn and save as much money as possible. I wanted to stay longer and go back just before he goes to the army in February, but we’ll be homeless as we won’t be able to afford rent for our home here in Fethiye as Berkay won’t have a job after mid-end October. If he finds work here in Fethiye for the winter he’ll probably stay under the hotel grounds (even though it’s closed) as he did last year, and if he doesn’t, he’ll head to his village and hopefully find work there and be able to save for 2 months so that he can have some money saved before going to the army, for days off or leave. As for our dog Boncuk, I know I have a lot of concerned readers always asking about her, she’ll be staying with Berkay’s family in his village too, unless I can find her a ‘foster’ home with someone I trust here for a year, but that’s not likely. We won’t abandon her, we want her back as soon as Berkay is out, don’t worry!

I hope to earn as much as possible by the time Berkay has completed his year’s service, and if my income meets the visa requirements, great, if not, that’s fine too, I’ll come back here instead. I’m sick of waiting for our lives to begin, once the army is done that will be a huge weight lifted, I feel like we’re constantly waiting at the moment, we can’t move forward with our lives til that’s out of the way, and once it is, I don’t care which country we’re in, as long as there’s no more waiting involved. People say ‘you’re only young, you’ve got you’re whole lives ahead of you’, which may be true, but it also may not, one of us could drop down dead tomorrow, nobody knows, life is a funny old thing, and if all this long distance, army issues and constant goodbyes has taught me anything, it’s to live everyday to the fullest and enjoy every precious moment!

Wow, what a depressing post this is eh? I haven’t written a personal, ‘thoughts and feelings’ post for a long time, normal, happy, touristy, summery photo posts shall resume shortly, I promise.

Thanks for listening/reading. (: ❤

The cost of living in Turkey…

Posted on August 6, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

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I have been wanting to write this post since I started my blog last year, but I knew it would take a lot of research to get it right, and I also know a lot of people will disagree with me, but after discussing it with someone today, I was determined to post my view on this.

People think living in Turkey is cheap… It’s not. Unless you’re living off a British pension or have an income from other sources in the UK, it’s not cheap to live here at all. When I say to people it’s hard to live off a Turkish wage and that we always end up getting into debt, people tell me ‘you just need to budget better and not have a holiday lifestyle, it’s so cheap to live in Turkey’… I know for a fact that it’s not, and people just do not realise how local people really struggle.

Ok, now a little disclaimer, this is NOT about me. It’s not a pity party. I can get on the next flight home to England if it becomes too hard to live here. This is for the local people, the Turks, the thousands of people working in Turkey who do not have the luxury of choosing where to live or have many job opportunities.

I have always said that living in Turkey is actually more expensive than living in the UK. When you compare like for like, Turkey appears cheaper, but when you consider local wages, you realise it’s not. If you’re an expat in Turkey and have more than £250 a month in income from a pension or other means, you are financially better off than a lot of locals in Fethiye, and all over the country. The minimum wage here is 895tl a month after tax – that equals £255 a month or roughly £3068 a year. (For arguments sake throughout this article I’m using an exchange rate of 3.5tl/£1 as this is the rate being given in town as of today). This is minimum wage across the country. Compare this to minimum wage in the UK which is £6.31 an hour – for 40 hours a week this would be £11,380 a year AFTER tax, or £950 a month, roughly. This means that the minimum wage in Turkey is 3.7 x less than the UK, therefore, for Turkey to have a cheaper cost of living than the UK, the prices of everything would have to be 3.7 x lower than in the UK… let’s look into that and see if that is the case.

I have investigated the prices of many everyday items – I looked online at two main supermarkets – Migros for Turkey, and Tesco for the UK. These are pretty much the same thing, big supermarkets. Of course there are cheaper options for all of the foods listed, I could have looked at Aldi & Lidl compared to Turkey’s Bim & Sok for lesser known brands and cheaper choices, but for ease I’m looking at the two main supermarkets. The fruit and veg prices were compared using Tesco prices vs Fethiye market prices – the cheapest possible place to find them.

The photo below shows my findings.

As you can see, for most of the products, the price of these when converted into pounds is cheaper in Turkey, but not by very much, and certainly not 3.7 x cheaper. Things like bread, water and some fruits such as grapes and cherries are significantly cheaper here in Turkey, even with the difference in wages. For most things however, when considering the wage difference, are more expensive here in Turkey. For example, I did not find one single house product that was cheaper here, in comparison. Bleach, toothpaste, toilet paper, shampoo and deodorant are all more expensive, along with everyday food items such as pasta and milk.

Meat prices here in Turkey are ridiculous – as you can see from the table all red and white meat is significantly more expensive here when you factor in the wage differences.

Perhaps most shockingly, some of the everyday items are actually significantly more expensive in Turkey without even looking at the wage comparison – cheese, eggs, bananas, potatoes and pet food are all more expensive here in Turkey than it would be if we were shopping in Tesco. There’s also the fact that supermarkets in the UK often have “buy one get one free” deals which I rarely see in shops here.

I see where other expats are coming from – their pounds go further here than at home in England for the most part, but for people living here off a local wage life is very hard and a daily struggle. I have no idea how large families cope.

Groceries aren’t the only things that are more expensive in Turkey. I looked online and compared typical internet broadband prices, in the UK the average price worked out at £230 a year. Here in Turkey we pay around 90tl per month, or 1080tl (£308) per year. Again, that shows that the price of the internet luxury here is more expensive than the UK, without even considering wage differences.

I tried to compare electricity prices, but there are such vast differences in the amount that people pay each month it would be impossible to do a comparison, our electric bills every month are between 30-50tl, while I know others who pay 200tl a month, and I have no idea of the breakdown in prices either here or in the UK.

Petrol prices here in Turkey are far more expensive than the UK before even considering the wage difference. Car prices here are also ridiculous, a car that you would pay £1000 for in the UK is likely to sell for the equivalent of £5000 or more here in Turkey – no wonder I see so many ancient, non road-worthy cars around, nobody can afford models less than 20 years old.
White goods, fridges, washing machines etc and other general household goods here in Turkey are around the same price as in the UK – again when you consider wages are a lot less here, this makes them a lot more expensive in comparison.

Another significant thing here to remember is there is no free healthcare. For local people working their bosses should pay for their health insurance which enables cheaper treatment, and for those not working, the amount they pay for health insurance is means tested, but it’s not free. There are also very little income benefits. In order to be entitled they have to have worked and paid insurance for a certain amount of days in a period of time, Berkay was entitled to it last winter and got 300tl per month, who could ever live off that?

There are things that are cheaper here in Turkey, for example, council tax, road tax, insurance etc, but when everything else is considered, this is so small and insignificant.

Rent prices are a different story. Rent prices are undoubtedly a lot cheaper here in Turkey. From searching online, I found the price of a one bedroom flat in England varied considerably – from £400 in Northern areas, to over £700 in London. In comparison, prices for a one bedroom basic apartment here in Fethiye vary from 300 – 650tl (£85 – £170) – I can’t deny that they are much cheaper here.

You may be thinking to yourself, ‘why dont they work harder to earn more’ – it doesn’t work like that. I can only comment for people working in Tourism, as that is all I have knowledge of, but generally people working in this sector will be stuck in it for life. It doesn’t mean they’re lazy or unqualified (Berkay has a diploma in hotel management!) it just means they have no choice. It’s not like they can take on a second job to bump up their wages either – working days here are long with people working up to 12-15 hours a day, 7 days a week. There is no time for another job.

All of the above isn’t even considering the fact that a lot of people in tourism don’t have work during winter, and those that do are more than likely working for less than minimum wage as their employer knows they are desperate and will work for any money they offer – some take total advantage and do not even pay them at the end of the month, they simply refuse, and because they have been working without insurance and for less than minimum wage they have no option but to accept it.

Im not suggesting the whole of Turkey is poor, there are of course people with very good jobs earning tens of thousands lira a year and people who would be rich even by English standards. But that doesn’t change the fact that for Turkish people, living here in Turkey IS more expensive than living in the UK. I know there will be people who disagree, but if you do the research you might be surprised at what you find.

Let me know if you agree, or disagree, I’m open to all comments. I’m really curious at people’s opinions of the cost of living here in Turkey. Before I moved here I had no idea, I didn’t care, I was ignorant, but it’s something that really fascinates me now and I can’t help but get into discussions about it when I see people saying the infamous words ‘it’s cheaper to live over there’.

Of course there are many positive things about living here, perhaps the quality of life here outweighs the increased cost of living? Let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading, If you got this far, well done, what an essay this turned out to be!

Settling in?

Posted on July 6, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

So, I’ve been here in Turkey for 5 weeks now, where on earth has the time gone?

It’s been a while since I done a personal thoughts & feelings post, I’ve been focusing more on writing about days out and things to do and see. When I started this blog it was just going to be something personal, a kind of diary to look back on, but as time has gone on, more and more people read and as grateful as I am for the nearly 160,000 views I have, I’m less comfortable with sharing now, you can’t trust anyone on the internet and writing posts sharing personal thoughts and feelings gives people a lot of information to judge you on.

I do want to be as honest and as real as possible though. That being said, I thought it was time to do a post about how I’ve settled back into life here in Turkey and what I’m missing about England.

The first night I was here alone as Berkay had to work, and it hit me that I’d be spending a lot of my time alone again, I started to question whether I’d done the right thing and that maybe the grass is always greener on the other side… I also didn’t feel as ‘safe’ in this house, it’s much more central than our old one and there are more people around, it’s not as private.

The first few weeks I was here, I didn’t want to be in the house much, I was always bugging Berkay so we could go out and do something, walking, swimming, pointless trips to Fethiye… I think I wanted to spend as little time as possible in our house so that I didn’t get attached again, if it feels like home it’ll be harder to leave…

Well after being here 5 weeks I’m well and truly settled, our house DOES feel like home, there’s nothing I like more than sitting on the balcony with Berkay after dinner and just playing backgammon or watching a film. It’s just like the old days. I feel totally safe in our house and love it here. It took some getting used to living in a basic house again, no bath, no walk in shower, just a wet room with a tap and shower on the wall that makes the entire room and toilet seat soaking wet after each use! Not being able to flush the toilet paper took some getting use to again too!

I honestly do not miss England. I miss my family sometimes obviously, but I speak to my mum and grandparents everyday on Facetime without fail. I miss my little sister the most because we’re so close, no matter my mood she always cheers me up – I’ve been facetiming with Dad and seeing her, she always says ‘are you coming home yet Dan’ or mentions something about me coming back so I think she misses me too (:

I thought I might miss English food, a nice roast dinner, Cadbury’s chocolate, Monster Munch, ham sandwiches but I don’t really – although I am now drooling at the thought of all of the aforementioned! I love a lot of Turkish food so it doesn’t bother me much – perhaps the only thing I do miss is being able to chuck a ready made jar of sauce on the pasta or get some easy to cook, ready flavored Birdseye chicken out of the freezer. Everything has to be made from scratch – not much frozen food exists here!

I do not miss work at all, but I do miss having structure to my days. Anyone who knows me knows I have to have plans, I have to know what I’m doing and at what time, I’m not very spontaneous!

I’ve fallen into the habit of adapting to Berkay’s work/sleep pattern again. He works from 8pm – 9am everyday and sleeps either during the morning or the afternoon. I’ve started following that and not sleeping all night which is really bad – I’m still awake the same amount of time as anyone else, just all night instead of all day, which sometimes is a blessing as I don’t feel the unbearable heat. I’m still reliant on Berkay most of the time, when I lived here before I never went out without him. This time I walk the dog on my own and walk along Calis seafront a couple of times a week when he’s gone to work and just sit on the beach alone and watch the sunset. I love that.

All in all, I’ve settled back in and am still determined to make the most of every minute here. On Tuesday 8th Berkay and I have been together for 4 years. That’s really crazy, it seems like just yesterday we met, but then again sometimes it feels like we’ve been together so much longer, we’re like an old married couple, yet we’re not old and we’re not married. (;

I cannot believe it’s July already, how scary. More than half way through the year and I only have a few more months in Turkey… it’s not going to be any easier leaving this time than the last.
I’ll leave you with a few photos of the beautiful sunsets I witnessed in Calis last week. ❤

Back in Turkey!

Posted on June 6, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

So, I’ve been back in Turkey for 3 days now and still haven’t had a chance to post about it yet!

I got up at 6am on Monday morning, finished packing last minute things, said my goodbye’s and got in the car with Dad and Mum who took me to the airport. My flight was at 11.20am, and we arrived at the airport around 3 hours before. There was a huge queue of people waiting to check in, but I finally got to the check-in desk and waved my suitcase off down the baggage ramp, I was worried it was going to be too heavy and over my 20kg allowance, but luckily it was bang on 20kg, good judgment eh? (:

We went up the escalators to departures and that’s where I had to leave Mum and Dad and go through security. After faffing around having to unpack my entire hand luggage so they could scan my laptop, and take my shoes off, I eventually made it through and came out the other side where I looked back and saw Mum and Dad still waving at me ❤ Later on I realised she’d written a Facebook status about that moment : “Took Dan to airport this morning with her Dad…. waved her off (once again) as she heads back to Turkey & Berkay…..all smiles, I can see her smiley face as she waved to us at departures…..priceless….Love you BIG as the Sky” – sweet. (:

After getting through the maze that is Gatwick South’s duty free shop leading to the main departure hall, I had a look around, sat down and started to get excited. It took ages for the gate information to pop up on the screen, so I was getting rather impatient! Once the number showed up and I took the long walk to the departure gate, it all became rather real as I could see my plane outside the window, eeeek!

We didn’t have to wait very long after that, almost as soon as I got to the gate people began boarding. I was in row 14 so I was the second from last lot of passengers to board. I flew with Pegasus (for the first time!) so when I stepped on the plane all I could see were Turkish signs, and hear the stewards speaking Turkish amongst themselves. “Welcome” one air steward said to everyone else boarding, then he turned to me and said “hosgeldin!” (that’s Turkish for Welcome) – he must’ve thought I was Turkish, so that made me smile. I found my seat, sat down, got comfortable with my blanket out and my cow slippers on, and waited for take off.

We took off 40 minutes late, but the flight was only due to be 3hours and 30 minutes (instead of around 4) due to tail wind so I didn’t mind! One thing I really loved about Pegasus was the fact they had little tv screens on board showing exactly where we were in the air, the altitude, which countries we were flying over and how long left until arrival at our destination.

After a bumpy end to the flight which meant having our seat belts fastened for 40 minutes – we landed safe and sound at Dalaman. I went through passport control, who didn’t even look at my evisa (honestly, I’ve never been through immigration so quick!) and went downstairs to locate my baggage.. Around the carousel it came, and off I went to find my transfer bus. I wish Berkay was there to meet me but it would have been to expensive to hire or borrow a friends car as the petrol is just so expensive out here. Instead I booked the transfer bus which only cost me £8. It was ready waiting for me when I arrived and only took 45minutes to get to Calis. I can’t tell you how excited I was when I realised we were getting close. Around 7pm, the driver turned off down the road Berkay’s hotel is and stopped outside, where Berkay was waiting with Boncuk for me. Off I hopped and they both gave me a welcome hug!

After saying Hello to them both, we put Boncuk back in her kennel and headed off to my new house, which I was excited and nervous to see. I like the house, it’s in a much more convenient location than the last one, although that one will always be more special to me as it was my first house away from England. I’ll do a post about my new house in the next few days if anyone is interested to see it! (:

We quickly got the internet set up and eventually managed to get it working so that I could Facetime family and let them known I’d arrived. By the time all this was done it was around 8pm and Berkay had arranged to go into work an hour later than usual at 9pm – we had no food in the house at all, so decided to go out to a restaurant along the sea front for something to eat instead. We went to Letoon hotel, which I knew had a new rooftop restaurant which looked really good. The view from there was lovely. It was cold though. The weather has been so weird since I’ve been here, wet, cloudy and windy. Honestly it was warmer in England the day before I left! Crazy.

We ate our dinner in record time, and got back home just after 9pm. Berkay made sure I got home OK then went straight out to work. Might as well get used to those long working hours alone again!

I was tired but didn’t want to go to bed, so spent a couple of hours unpacking everything. The house has definitely been Danni-ed now. Nail varnish bottles now surround the bedroom mirror and my two favourite bears sit on the bed. (:

After all that travelling and packing, I went to bed around 2am, and knew I had to be up early ready to go to Fethiye market. A post about that will follow tomorrow! ❤

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