AUGUST PHOTO SERIES – DAY 12 – TÜRK YILDIZLARI

Posted on August 12, 2017 by livingtheturkishdream

In October 2014 Turkey’s version of the red arrows – the Türk Yıldızları – came to Calis to perform over the beach during the air games – we gathered along the promenade to watch with thousands of other people on what was the busiest day I’ve ever seen in Calis! The display was one of the most impressive things I’ve ever witnessed – the noise of the jets was just incredible, and the pilots had amazing skills. I took both of these photos on that day, love the red and white trails and the Turkish flag displayed on the planes! I filmed a video of the display and it’s my most shared, most viewed video ever on my blog Facebook page – click the link if you want to watch it – https://www.facebook.com/livingtheturkishdream/videos/756223634439508/
watch it with your volume to turn up to get the full experience!
❤

Finishing the army TOMORROW!!

Posted on January 17, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

This past week has been quite an eventful one, which ended in me booking flights to visit Turkey in less than 2 weeks time!

Berkay started his national service on 4th February 2015, so we were expecting him to finish around that date this year, but we knew he still had 3 weeks holiday that he hadn’t used so thought he would finish a few weeks early. I’d been asking him for weeks if he knew an actual leaving date yet, but he hadn’t had any news… until last week! They told him his official date was 18th January…. so soon…. TOMORROW!!!

I think he is excited about finishing, although a little nervous too. His plan is to go back to his family’s village for a week and then head back to Fethiye. He’s already been ringing up friends and ex-bosses there trying to find work. He really has nowhere to go, as he always lived in the hotel he worked in, and stayed in the staff accommodation under the hotel in winter even when it was closed. He has no money, and no job to go back to. We’re hoping he has the opportunity to work in the same hotel again in the summer, but he still needs something until then… The problem with doing his army service so late is that because he was so much older, he had more of a life before going in, we had possessions, although not many, a chest of drawers, clothes, plates, cutlery, a mini oven, kettle, heater etc, which we have now just lost because he had nowhere to store them while away… any money he had saved (which wasn’t much) has been used and he has nothing at all, so I think it’s going to take some real adjusting for him to get back into the real world again after a year away. He also says he’s a little sad about leaving the friends he’s made in the base camp, after spending 24/7 with them they’ve got close and they probably won’t meet again because they come from all over the country, but they can all keep in touch via Facebook.

It still doesn’t seem real to me that he’s leaving the army tomorrow, and that that chapter of our lives will be finished. I was reluctant to believe it when he told me, and I still won’t entirely believe it until I get a message on Monday saying that he’s free! Plans are already in place though, so it’s 99.9% certain.. he’s booked his bus ticket to Denizli (a 13 hour journey!) for 6pm Monday evening, so it’s all becoming very real! I will be waiting for that ‘I’m out!’ message tomorrow while I’m at work.

Even more exciting, is the fact that I booked my flights out to see him later this month! There were no direct flights to Dalaman from London so I had settle for flying via Istanbul which I’m a bit nervous about. Lots of people I’ve spoken to have done this before but I’m certain I’ll get lost! Flying alone doesn’t bother me, but finding my way through an airport I’ve never been to and making it in time for my connecting flight is quite scary! I’m flying with Turkish airlines which I’m quite excited about as I’ve never flown with them before, and I hear they are very good. I got a good deal, return flights, 23kg of luggage, seat selection plus food and drink on board all included for £141. Bargain! I have just this minute booked an apartment for us in Calis, and done my travel insurance so it’s all quite exciting… I go for 10nights on 28th January, 11 more sleeps and counting..

Thank you all for putting up with my boring, repetitive ‘army’ posts for the past year, I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief that it will finally all be over!

Just ONE more day…

2015 – a year in photos.

Posted on January 6, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

A year ago, when Big Ben chimed for midnight, I was dreading 2015 and the inevitable things that came along with it. I had just moved back to the UK, I was trying to find a job, Berkay was heading off to the army and everything was very uncertain. Now, fast forward a year and things are looking quite different! I’m looking forward to the year ahead, but also reflecting back on 2015 and how far we’ve come so far, with the help of some photos!

January

January was mostly spent worrying about February. Berkay had 4 weeks before he was due to enter the army and we made the most of the time speaking on skype as much as possible. At the end of the month he sent me a package of goodies from Turkey, with some of my favourite Turkish treats and two pairs of baggy village pants. His little note ‘I love you honey, going to army but coming soon, wait me’ is now sitting framed on top of my two countdown jars.

February

February marked the moment that I’d been dreading for YEARS. The inevitable military service that Berkay had been putting off for years finally began. I can still remember this as if it were yesterday, sitting at home with my little sister watching Peter Pan after our last ‘goodbye’ skype with Berkay from outside the entry gate to the Izmir base camp. It was horrible. A lot of tears flowed that day! He didn’t know when he’d be able to contact me again so when I saw an Izmir phone number pop up on my phone later that day it was a huge relief! “We’re just waiting to check in” he said from the base camp phone, making it sound like he was just off on a little holiday! Those first few weeks were the toughest.

March

In the middle of March, 6 weeks after his start date, Berkay had his passing out parade to mark the end of his first stage of training in Izmir. His mum, brother, uncle and cousin went to watch and got to spend a couple of hours with him. His brother sent me photos as soon as he could and it was the first time I’d seen Berkay in his uniform! He looked very proud. He even managed to skype me from his brothers phone, and it was the first time I’d seen him since 4th February, I love this photo his uncle took of Berkay and his stepmum waving to me on skype, look at those smiles!

April

April was probably the most exciting month of the year. Berkay took 10 days leave in between training and starting at his new base in Kayseri. He went back to Fethiye for the week and I got a flight out to see him… It was the first time I’d seen him in person since December so it felt like a long time. We stayed in an apartment in Calis and had a lovely week together, I also got to spend my birthday there with him. Of course we were both reunited with Boncuk too, and she was very excited to see us! We picked her up from our friends house where she was staying, and rented a car so we were able to take her everywhere with us, to BBQ picnics, to the beach, to Oludeniz, and at the end of the week we packed up all her things and took her 4-5 hours away to Berkay’s familys village where her new home was. Spending a couple of days in Berkay’s village was hard, I don’t think I will ever get used to that place, but it was different for sure, and leaving Boncuk there was difficult! While we were there it snowed, so driving back to Fethiye through snowy roads and then 4 hours later ending up in the sunny, warm, Fethiye climate was very odd too!

May

After spending time with Berkay in April, adjusting back to the UK was hard, even after just a week away. But he kept sending me photo updates by sneaking me some photos from his friends phone. I’ve heard people say that their Turkish partners sent them photos of their names in bullets, Berkay sent me a photo of my name in flowers instead! I thought it was really funny, big, hard soldiers in camoflague picking and arranging flowers! Bless.

June

June was a big month. Finally, after 6 months of looking, I got my first full time, long-ish term job through an agency. Initially on a 3 month contract. The job was at Canary wharf, on the 33rd floor of the tallest building there! It was surreal at first, and very overwhelming. The first week or two I was there it was horrible, going out at lunchtime was a real struggle as there were thousands and thousands of people all outside going in all directions at the same time, a real culture shock compared to the relatively quiet areas of Turkey I’d been used to. It didn’t take long to adjust though, and I fell in love with the job. I love the view from our staff room window where we can see the whole London skyline. It’s so beautiful, and made me find a whole new appreciation for London!

July/August/September

Apparently, these months were really boring because I don’t appear to have many photos! I was getting used to full time work again, and adjusting to that. August was a big milestone because it meant we had hit the 6 month’s to go mark! Berkay had been in the army for 6 months and only had 6 more to go. Every day I put a marble in my ‘days down’ jar and seeing equal numbers in each jar felt like a real achievement!

October

October saw the arrival of autumn here and marked another month off the calendar. Berkay’s brother kept his promise of regular Boncuk updates by sending me the cutest photos of her. I remember sitting on the train home from work when he sent the photos and just smiling, look at her little face!

November

November was one of the toughest months of the year. Turkey held an election and emotions in the country were increasingly tense. The expectation of trouble in certain areas meant Berkay was transferred to one of the more dangerous zones in the South Eastern part of Turkey – Diyarbakir. This is an area known for terrorist activity and not a good one to be doing your army service in. I was very worried, and despite what he says, I know Berkay was too. He ended up spending about 5-6 weeks in Diyarbakir and he actually liked it more than his base in Kayseri, we got to speak a bit more on skype through his smuggled in phone, too! Oops.

The best part of the month for me was being told I definitely had my job until the end of the year at least, because by this point I loved it and knew I really wanted to be kept on. The earlier evenings meant I got to see the London skyline at night through our staff room window and it looked even more magical all lit up!

December

December was THE best month. I had to interview for my position at the company I work for and I was successful. I got the permanent job! This was more than just a job to me. It meant I could prove people wrong, people who were so judgmental in the past. Most importantly, it meant I earn well over the income requirement needed for Berkay’s visa to live in England. This is what I’d been waiting for and it seemed like it was never going to happen! After my manager told me I had to sneak off to the toilets for a little dance around (entirely true!). It was a huge weight lifted and another big obstacle out of the way. Such a relief.

Of course December also meant Christmas, and I had a lovely few days with my family, made even better by the knowledge that my job meant 2016 wouldn’t be quite so uncertain and unsettled (hopefully). The marble jars looked even better, with less than 40 days to go, and when Big ben chimed at midnight on 1st January 2016, I was filled with excitement about what the new year would bring, instead of being filled with dread.

It was a very emotional year, in one way or another, and definitely my most testing! Army life has not been easy for Berkay, or for me, and it’s certainly tested our relationship. After living together for 3 years, not seeing him for 8 months hasn’t been easy. By the time I see him again it will likely have been 9-10 months, but at last the end is in sight. Who knows what this year will bring, but I’m sure it will throw a few surprises our way, I’m just glad everyone I know and love made it through 2015, safe, happy and healthy.

I hope 2016 is kind to all of you, and us!
P.S less than 28 days to go!!

315 days down, 50 to go!

Posted on December 16, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

Christmas is fast approaching, with just 9 days to go, and just 16 days until 2015 comes to an end. This means we are getting ever closer to Berkay’s army service being completed and that huge obstacle being lifted.

He’s officially been in for over 45 weeks now, with another 7.5 weeks to go. 10 months down, less than 2 to go, but potentially even sooner than that. His 12 months mandatory service will officially be finished on 4th February 2016, but as he has been unable to take any holiday during that time, he believe’s he will be able to finish up to 18 days early, so he could be ‘free’ as early as next month! How good does it feel to say that!

Strangely, the year doesn’t seem to have gone that slowly, and I think a lot of that is due to the time of year he started. Although the beginning of the year went slowly, the run up to Christmas seems to make everything go 10x faster, and now its only a matter of days until the year is over!

I’ve been keeping up with my marble jars, moving a marble from the ‘days to go‘ jar into the ‘days down jar‘ every night before bed. It’s almost like an advent calendar, and I do it everyday without fail. The first real exciting moment was when the jars had equal numbers of marbles in both, but now they make for a much more pleasing sight with just 50 days in the ‘days to go’ jar, compared to 315 in the other.

The last few weeks haven’t been very smooth for Berkay. At the start of November he got sent to Diyarbakir which is a fairly dangerous place to be in the army at the moment, and his fellow soldiers from the same base were out on missions to hunt terrorists every few days. We were unsure when he would be going back to Kayseri, but finally, after what felt like a really long time, he got told he was being sent back and he made the 12 hour coach journey back to Kayseri with the rest of the soldiers at the base on Saturday. Even that was dangerous, and they all had to wear bulletproof clothes for the first part of the journey. Coincidentally, Saturday was Berkay’s 26th birthday (he’s so much older than all the others doing their national service, he’s like the army grandad haha). What a way to spend your birthday eh? At least he’s back in Kayseri now where he will hopefully stay for the rest of his service.

Further testing times for Berkay came 2 weeks ago when his granddad passed away. They weren’t particularly close as he isn’t to any of his family, but he was a lovely old man whom I met a few times, and it was obviously very sad. Had he been at home in Fethiye, Berkay would have made the journey to Denizli for the funeral, and he did intend to take time off from his army service but after talking to his commander they decided it would be too difficult as leaving the base would mean people needed to escort him to the nearest city, and then he would have to make a 20+ hour journey to Denizli by road, as flying was ridiculously expensive. The long journey would have meant he would miss the funeral anyway, as in Turkish culture this happens very quickly after death. Not being able to be with his family, despite their differences, upset Berkay and he was very frustrated by it all, but he seems happier now and he too is counting down the days to freedom!

50 days to go… hopefully less!

A new army chapter..

Posted on November 8, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

The elections that were held in Turkey last week meant a lot of changes.

Firstly, and bizarrely, Turkey was thrown into some kind of temporary time zone for 2 weeks. When most of us turned our clocks back and enjoyed the extra hour in bed, residents of Turkey woke up in confusion and asked themselves ‘what time is it?’. It had been decided months previously that the clocks in Turkey would not go back on 25th October with everyone else, and instead they’d go back on 8th November, to ensure that voters in the election last week would have as much daylight as possible to make it ‘safe’ to vote. I don’t see the logic in that at all, but that’s just Turkey for you, instead of opening the voting stations an hour earlier they’ll create a temporary time zone for 2 weeks… It led to some confusion when modern technology, smart phones and laptops, automatically updated to change the time, so when people woke up they really had no idea what the ‘real’ time was. Quite Hilarious, and definitely one of those ‘ah, only in Turkey’ moments! The clocks did finally go back today though, so they’re all caught up now!

The election results were pretty predictable, although plenty of people hoped for a miracle… Berkay, however, didn’t even get to vote as people doing their national service have no input at all, which I think is disgusting. I guess the logic behind it is they should be fighting for their country regardless of who is in charge, but I still think it’s really bad that they’re not even allowed to vote.

The elections were predicted to cause hostility, so around a month ago Berkay was told he’d be sent to a different army base. For the past 7 months he’s been in Kayseri, a major city and really quite modern. He’s been allowed days out and wandered around the shopping centres with friends, been to internet cafe’s to talk to me and even smuggled his phone inside base so that we can skype (shh..). So when he was told he’d be going to a city close to the border with a high terrorist presence, it was a bit of a shock.

He was told he’d be sent to Diyarbakir a few days later, which although I hear from people who have friends and family there, is a nice place, at the moment it’s a significantly more dangerous place to be while in the army. It does have a high PKK terrorist presence, a lot of Kurdish/Turkish conflict and there are often reports of attacks and deaths as a result of this. Berkay’s name was put down to go but 3 weeks later he still hadn’t heard anything, and was still in Kayseri. We were both hoping he wouldn’t end up going, but last Monday he rang me and said he was packing his suitcase and getting sent to Diyarbakir on Tuesday. Obviously this hit me like a ton of bricks, and despite Berkay saying he wasn’t worried, I know he was really. “If anything is gonna happen there it can happen here too” he said, which is true.

Tuesday morning at 11 oclock he got on the army plane to Diyarbakir. He text me at the airport and managed to call me when he got to a base and actually had a 7 minute long phonecall which is long by normal standards! He said they went on a cargo plane, and he had to sit with all the luggage in the bottom of the plane, he said it was the worst flight he’s been on, bumpy and so noisy they had to wear ear protectors. They went to a temporary base overnight and woke up at 4am to transfer to the next base, they had to go by bulletproof bus and then in a tank, from what I understood. Berkay’s brother messaged me to tell me he’d spoken to him and that he had arrived OK.

I don’t think I’m allowed to say the name of the place he’s in, other than that it’s in Diyarbakir. He say’s it’s more relaxed and friendlier than his other base. The officers seem more understanding there, as soon as they arrived they were asked if they’d all called their friends and family to let them know they were there safely and he even told them if they had phones they were allowed to use them rather than queuing for the base one, which is a relief because I was unsure whether I’d hear from him as often now, but it seems as if I will. It means he’s been able to use his iPhone there and we get to skype when the internet signal is working. Berkay’s original job in Kayseri was an ambulance driver but now he’s just on guard of the sleeping quarters. He says he feels safe there, there’s a long 10km walk to the entry gate and the outside world, and it’s mainly hills and land, no city or shops close by so he won’t be allowed out at all. He doesn’t know how long he’ll be there for, as always in Turkey it’s very laid back, no plans. He says some of the soliders are going out on an ‘operation’ to find and kill terrorists this week and that after that’s complete he should be going back to Kayseri. He said there was another operation the night after he arrived and all the soldiers came back in the middle of the night and woke them up to celebrate successfully finding terrorists, although a few of their own men also died. When he tells these stories it really hits home how serious it all is, and as I always say, I don’t understand how anyone can see national service as just a 12 month stint in a training camp, it’s real life, it’s scary and its horrible.

The only good thing is there’s only less than 3 months to go!

Boncuk’s village life…

Posted on October 4, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

When we first found out the date Berkay was going to the army and me back to the UK, we worried about where Boncuk would go. Her coming here wasn’t an option, even though I tried to convince my family to have her, so she stayed with our friends in Fethiye for the first 2 months, but I didn’t 100% trust them with her as they have young babies and a rented house which meant it was always uncertain whether they’d be able to carry on looking after her. When Berkay had his holiday in April and I joined him for a week, we got her and took her to Berkay’s family in their village in Denizli. I was worried about leaving her there too, as although they have farm animals, cows, sheep, goats, chickens and a dog themselves, they’re very much seen as ‘just animals’ and not fussed, loved or seen as part of the family. When we were there Berkay’s brother saw how much we loved her and fussed her and I gave him his orders to look after her, and we left confident that he would.

Now, 6 months later – I’m always nagging Berkay’s brother for photos of her. I must drive him absolutely crazy. He tells me she loves him and always jumps up bright eyed and bushy tailed when she sees him, and his blurry photos of her mid-air jump seem to back that up! Last week he sent me the cutest photos that made me smile, just look at that gorgeous little face of hers. She’s such a pretty doggy.

I’m glad she’s being looked after, but I can’t wait until Berkay is out of the army and can get her back, she’ll be so excited and then I can relax knowing she’s ok! ❤

Army life – broken foot & time off?

Posted on September 20, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

Its not unusual for Berkay to call me and tell me he’s been at the hospital all day, as he’s usually driving the ambulance back and forth between the base and the hospital when people get injured during training etc, but yesterday when he called me he told me he’d been in hospital all day, as a patient, after breaking his foot!

Apparently he was doing sport, as they do everyday, and when facing one of the obstacles on the course – jumping down in and out of a ditch – he jumped in and landed on something hard which shouldn’t have been in there, and broke his foot…

Since then he’s been on bed rest, only allowed to get up (with crutches) to use the phone, having all his food bought to his bed. He says his foot hurts a lot and is like a ‘balloon’ (swollen) and he has a cast on it… I hope he’s milking it for all it’s worth!

I’m actually quite pleased he broke it. The world works in mysterious ways, 2 weeks ago he was saying how he wanted to volunteer to go to the border towns to fight against the PKK after the recent trouble there, so having a dodgy foot has definitely ruled him out of that, for the time being!

I’m not sure what it means for his holiday – he wasn’t sure if he was going to get his 10 days leave in October and we’d decided that I’d not visit anyway so we was going to cancel it and finish 10 days early at the end of his service instead, but now he might be forced to take sick leave because of his foot, not much use as an ambulance driver with a plaster cast… He may get a few weeks holiday but it’s doubtful I’ll be able to visit since it will be too late notice to get time off work, and the fact that he doesn’t really have anywhere to go – his village is around 10 hours away from his army base by car, and Fethiye is around 12 hours away, not a nice distance to travel at the best of times let alone with a painful foot in a cast.

So it looks like I won’t be seeing him til February as planned, but at least he’s safe for now, even if a little pained, and less than 4 and a half months to go! (:

Army life, a sad week and kittens..

Posted on September 12, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

If you’ve been in Turkey for the past week or seen the news stories and videos shared around social media, you’ll likely have heard reports about the Turkish soldiers killed in a PKK terrorist attack last week.

Although it was hundreds of miles away on the Turkey-Syria border, it sparked off peaceful (for the most part..) protests across the country and in tourist resorts many bars closed early as a mark of respect during a 3 day period of national mourning. It was lovely to see so many people come together, with even people holidaying joining in the minutes silence and standing in respect of the national anthem which was played in some bars during the week.

One of the soldiers who died was from Fethiye, and on arrival of his body by military plane at Dalaman airport, thousands of Turkish people took to the streets in cars and bikes adorned with Turkish flags to pay their respects. They drove around cities and towns beeping their horns, united in grief and respect for their fallen soldiers. A very patriotic country.

click HERE for a video of the drive by of cars draped in Turkish flags in respect of the soldiers. Credit to the original poster via Facebook.

There was also trouble in some areas due to the age old Turkish-Kurdish conflict, and a lot of Pro-Kurd offices were attacked – which was horrible to see, like everything, the acts of a few terrorists does not define an entire race, religion or population. I wont discuss the political side of the events or conflict further, but the fact that so many young men died was a real eye opener.

Some of the soliders were young men doing their national service, and it could easily have been Berkay. He’s in a ‘safe’ place at the moment, but soldiers are being sent from his base to border towns every week, so the possibility is always there. It upset and angered Berkay and I think it’s been a tough week for all.

It’s an unsettling time, and although there is no danger to tourists and life in resort continues as normal, it is a scary time to be in the army, whether or not you’re in there for a career or doing national service. It’s not a training exercise in a summer camp, it’s real life!

It’s not all bad, a cat somehow snuck its way into the base camp in Kayseri and Berkay has befriended it – there’s something about a bunch of soldiers sat around playing with a tiny kitten that is highly amusing, and given my previous sentence on this post, I realise the irony. Cute, though!

We’re still unsure whether Berkay will have his 10 day break in October, and it’s looking like I won’t be able to go and visit anyway as it will be too late notice to take a week off from work – so the next time I’ll see him will be February, 10 months since the last time! Boo.

143 days and counting.

Struggling through Army life..

Posted on August 23, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

“It’s about who you miss at 2pm when you’re busy, not at 2am when you’re lonely” – I saw this quote recently and thought how true it was.

We might be half way through the army but instead of getting easier it only seems to be getting harder, and more stressful.

Its been over 4 months since I last saw Berkay, which is the longest we’ve ever not seen each other since we met – even before I lived in Turkey we saw each other every 3 months. People say to keep busy to take your mind off it, but that doesn’t really work, does it? Out of sight doesn’t mean out of mind, and as the quote above says, it’s not about missing someone at 2am when you’re lonely and bored – it’s about who you’re missing during the day when you’re surrounded by company and are busy. Little things where you think ‘I wish they were here to see this’. I went camping with my mum last week and really enjoyed it but the whole time I was thinking how much Berkay would have loved this or that and wishing he was there..

He was supposed to have holiday booked for the beginning of October, but it’s now not certain whether he’ll get the leave or not due to the rising tensions in Turkey… Some of his fellow national-service men had holiday booked for last week and got called to go back to base early, so it’s really impossible to make any plans or book flights for me to go and visit since the dates are so uncertain. I’m still hoping to go if he can get holiday, but if it’s too short notice I won’t be able to get time off work (if I’m still working there as that too, is uncertain since it was a temporary contract). It’s very frustrating not being able to make solid plans, anyone who knows me knows how much I need plans to stick to, I hate not knowing.

Now is a pretty scary time to be doing national service or serving any kind of time in the army. It’s a fairly safe country, just like any other, but in the last few weeks there have been a few incidents where Turkish soliders have died through terrorist attacks from the PKK, and with the events going on in Syria, the border between that and Turkey is a fairly scary place to be right now too , I expect. A lot of Berkay’s army friends have been sent to ‘bad places’ recently, and although Berkay hasn’t had to move base from Kayseri yet, it is a possibility, one we hope he can avoid. People in the UK who say “bring back National service for the youth of today” need to have a reality check – it’s not just a fun little army training camp, it’s real life, real situations and real people, and that’s scary.

Berkay isn’t enjoying it at all, he’s finding it difficult and struggling more than he lets on, I think. We rarely get a full conversation as the signal is bad or we’re busy. There’s no deep meaningful conversation, just a simple “hi, how are you, what are you doing” – no time for anything else. It makes you feel really distant.

Perhaps the scariest part of it all, is knowing that in five and a half months time it will all be over, and we’ll be free to move on, finally. Although he’s only been in for 6 months, the army has been a huge obstacle for a long time, and once it’s out of the way we’ll be ‘free’. Free to live together without knowing we’ll be separated for a year later on, have a permanent home rather than a temporary one, be able to get married, have a family, etc without the army lingering over us. This is a relief, but also overwhelming, and the future is just so uncertain. I know nobody has a crystal ball, nobody knows what is going to happen tomorrow, a week from now or a year from now, but we can’t even plan which country we’ll live in. I don’t earn enough for Berkay to get a visa to live in the UK, hopefully I will eventually, but what time limit do we put on that? Do we just live apart even after the army has finished in the hope that one day I’ll get a payrise or find a job offering more money? I have to be earning the set amount for 6 months before applying, and we have to be married, so there’s something else to think about. Do I save and go there instead? People keep asking me ‘what’s your plan for once he’s finished?’ – the answer is I don’t know. Neither does he, and we don’t get to speak to each other for long enough to even contemplate or discuss it.

There is so much more to this whole ‘army thing’ than just missing him, it’s a big part of our life, and it really sucks. People say ‘it will go quick, half way has gone already, it will be Christmas soon then it will be really close’ – well, yes, I don’t doubt it, but it doesn’t just end there once he gets his completion papers. A year of our lives will have gone, forever and we’ll probably still be apart for longer.

For now, we’ll keep plodding along. Day after day, putting marble after marble in the ‘days down’ jar, and hoping that everything will eventually come together.

“Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, it’s not yet the end”.

Army Life – Half way there!

Posted on August 4, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

This morning I woke up, took a marble from the ‘days to go’ jar, put it in the ‘days down jar’, looked at the calendar and realised that we’d reached the half way point – equal number of marbles in each jar! 4th August, exactly 6 months since Berkay started his national service, which means ‘only’ another 6 to go.

People say it’s gone quick but I’m not so sure, although it is definitely going faster now I’m working and keeping busy. He’s hoping for a 10 day holiday in October so that will break up the time nicely too, although it will be 6 months since I last saw him then, the longest ever!

For now, we make do with our almost-weekly skype sessions and 1 minute daily phonecalls.

At the moment I can’t even imagine life without the dreaded army lingering, even though he’s only been in there for 6 months it was always a worry and a big part of the reasons I moved back to the UK in both 2013 and 2014, so to have it finally out of the way will be a strange, but good feeling. Then it will just be visa issues to tackle instead…

Overall the last 6 months haven’t been too bad… but I still say roll on 2016.

183 days to go.