A Turkish wedding..

Posted on October 24, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Turkish weddings are spectacular occasions, I’m pretty certain they invite every person they’ve ever met, literally, hundreds, even a thousand people all gathered together to celebrate, the Turks do know how to throw a party.

The wedding celebrations go on for days, and it’s not unusual for the legal wedding ceremony to take place months before the actual wedding party, the equivalent of what we would call the ‘reception’. This was the case for our friends. They were legally married in April this year, and had a very small family get together in a restaurant. They held the actual wedding party, and everything else that goes with it, a month later at the end of May. I have their permission to share their photos so thought I’d do a post sharing my experience of a Turkish wedding.

The days and weeks leading up to the big wedding party were spent planning, we went to their house often and each time they were doing something wedding-related. On on particular occasion, they came in with a massive box of invitations to send out, ”how many people are they inviting?!” I asked, ‘not too many, just 500”….

500 people, and that is considered a fairly small wedding by Turkish standards! I don’t even know 50 people, let alone 500. The wedding party was taken very seriously, the groom’s father spent an awful lot of money on it, with the help of credit cards!

The night before the wedding, they had a henna night, I’ve heard this is normally a women-only thing, but both bride and groom attended in this case.

The next morning, the day of the wedding party, Berkay headed off to our friends village where they had sacrificed a cow and were serving up traditional Turkish meals to everyone who happened to be passing by. There was a steady flow of hundreds of people throughout the day, all coming to eat the food being offered as part of the celebrations. This carried on until late afternoon when it was time to get ready for the big party..

Typically, wedding parties are held in the late evenings, and can go on until the early hours of the morning. They are often held in large halls, ‘wedding salons’ or school yards. In this case, it was the school yard directly opposite their house. It seems so bizarre to me to hold a party in a school playground, when we think of traditional British wedding receptions, they are held in fancy halls or venues, all beautifully decorated tables and chairs, balloons, seating plans, perhaps a buffet or meal, and plenty of alcohol flowing. This was not the case here at all. Everyone was sitting on plastic garden chairs, hired from the local council, there was no food, no alcohol, not many decorations. It was all very simple, yet completely bonkers at the same time. We arrived at 8 o clock, just in time to see the bride and groom’s extravagant-looking car speeding through the village beeping its horn loudy to let everyone know there’s a wedding going on. The bride and groom’s names were written on the banner draped over the car, and it was covered in streamers and huge ribbons, I wish I had taken a photo!

After greeting the bride and groom’s parents, we found a couple of spare chairs and sat down, completely overwhelmed by the amount of people and the noise of the drums, something that is ever-present at Turkish weddings.

The bride and grooms close family and friends stood up and lit some sparklers, held them in the air and formed a little walkthrough archway with their arms, the bride and groom arrived and walked hand in hand through them, it all looked quite romantic with the sparklers! They walked straight into the middle of the yard and stood opposite each other, the bride had a veil over her head and a red ribbon tied around her waist, this is a ‘maidenhood belt’ or bekaret kuşağı which is tied around her by her family before leaving for the wedding. The groom said a prayer and removed his bride’s veil, revealing her face. Small fireworks were lit in the background and they then had their first dance, a typical slow dance, and then other couples started to join in.

After the first dance, the real party begins. Loud drums, all kinds of musical instruments, live music and singing and A LOT of dancing. The dancing goes on all night and is crazy, traditional Turkish dancing. The wedding we were at had only Turkish music, but many are more modern and include western music, I can’t count the number of times I heard wedding parties in the school yard behind my house playing gangnam style last year!

After a while, it was time to bring out the cake. The cake was HUGE, 7 tiers (yet still nowhere near enough to go around all the guests) and had yet more fireworks lit on top. The bride and groom placed some lira notes on the cake and it was cut up and distributed to guests, we didn’t stay around long enough to get any, unfortunately, as Berkay had to get to work!

Just before we went, the dancing was put on hold for a while and the bride and groom stood at the front of the seating area with ribbons draped around their shoulders. Guests are expected to pin money or gold coins to the ribbon, instead of giving presents. This was one of my favourite parts, I think it’s a good idea and a nice little tradition that looks great on the photos! We were near the front of the queue to pin money on, right after the groom’s family. Each person that pinned money on got a photo taken with the bride and groom and then went back to their dancing.

We had to go home after this as Berkay had work, but I’m certain the wedding carried on until the early hours with plenty more fun and dancing.

It was very different to any wedding I have ever been to before, but it was an experience to say the least. If we ever get married, I’m sure we’ll incorporate elements of both traditional British and Turkish weddings, or maybe we’ll do as many of my friends have and have two, they are very different after all. (:

Turkish food shopping..in London!

Posted on October 22, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Today Dad took me to the Turkish Food Centre near us, and we stocked up on a few Turkish goodies. Always on the look out for new blog post ideas, I thought Id take a few photos and share the store for anyone else in London who may be experiencing withdrawal symptoms from their favourite Turkish snacks!

The TFC we went to is in Welling, south east London, but they have branches all over London. Click here to visit their site and see if there’s a store near you!

The shop has a selection of fruit and veg as well as a meat counter and bakery. The bakery sells that fresh Turkish bread we all love, along with all kinds of traditional Turkish cakes and pastries, most importantly there is a good selection of baklava too!

They sell everything else you could want, shampoo, toiletries, snacks, cakes, biscuits, crisps, juice, cheese, butter, all brands that you would find in Turkish shops and that you wouldn’t normally see in the UK. In typical Turkish style, the ‘pickled vegetables’ aisle was the biggest, along with huge jars of olives and bags of cay!

Everything in the shop seemed reasonably priced to me, more expensive than in Turkey, but not by much. We came away with a bag of Turkish tea, apple tea, sunflower seeds, simit bread, sachets of salep, cracker sticks, pop keks and wafer chocolates.

It was so weird seeing all these Turkish brands in the shop, it was like being back home in Fethiye! When you spend 2.5 years in a country you get used to their food and I really quite miss it when its not there anymore. Seeing the shampoo I used to buy in Turkey made me smile, sometimes it’s the small things! In the same way when going abroad you miss home comforts, when returning back after so many years, you miss things you never thought you would. It’s a lot of adapting, even down to the little things like which shampoo you buy!..Perhaps I’m just a little odd and too sentimental (:

Celebrating kurban bayram with Berkay..

Posted on October 17, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

WARNING, THIS POST CONTAINS PHOTOS THAT MAY DISTURB SOME READERS.

Tuesday 15th October marked the first day of the Muslim festival Eid-al-adha (kurban bayram in Turkish). If you aren’t aware of what kurban bayram is, you can check back at my previous post.. ”what is kurban bayram?” which explains all you need to know.

Most people celebrate bayram with their families, but Berkay is not close to his and doesn’t really keep in touch with them. He also has to work all over the holidays as it is the hotel’s busiest time. Last year we celebrated together with a BBQ and a walk along the seafront, but this year he was alone. Luckily, he has a great friend who works with him at the hotel, someone who he has grown really close to and who is like a father to him (his name is Ergun, he’ll probably be mentioned a lot!). They invited him to their village house for the day to celebrate so he didn’t have to be alone.

First he went off to Ergun’s brother’s house for breakfast which was the typical Turkish type, eggs, bread, honey, cucumber, tomato, cheese, olives and of course a glass or two of cay!

They then went around to a few other family members houses. When they got to Ergun’s wife’s family house, they sacrificed their first sheep. This is something that is supposed to be done by professional butchers, in order to minimize stress to the animal and get it done as fast and humanely as possible. I suspect that an awful lot of people do not actually follow these rules, and carry out the sacrifice themselves, which is what Berkay’s friend and all his family do. Obviously though, the rules are there for a reason, and should be stuck to.

After skinning and cleaning up the first animal, they visited Ergun’s brothers house, and performed the sacrifice over again with another animal, this time a goat.

After that, they ate lunch, he didn’t tell me what was on the menu, but I presume it was extremely fresh meat..

After lunch, they returned back to their village house where they sacrificed their own goat.

I asked Berkay to take these photos for me to share on here and give everyone more of an insight into the whole experience, but I do understand they may offend or disturb some readers, hence the warning at the start of the post.

I have seen discussions saying the act of killing so many animals for a religious festival is barbaric and wrong, although the same people complaining are not vegetarians themselves, and enjoy eating meat. The reason we find it so cruel, is that we are too used to having easy access to meat in supermarkets and shops, meat from animals that are already killed, then cut up and neatly packaged. We pick up the meat off the shelves and take it home to cook without a second thought as to where it has really come from, we don’t think about the poor animal it once formed. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

Personally, as long as the sacrifice is done correctly and the whole process is over quickly with limited suffering to the animal, I see nothing wrong with it. Sure, it’s not pleasant and I would never be able to do it myself, but It’s the circle of life, and an important part of celebrating kurban bayram in Turkish culture.

I hope everyone who celebrates Eid had a wonderful few days, now all the remaining sheep & goats can breathe a sigh of relief, until the next bayram..or wedding.. or funeral.. or birth! The Turks sure do like to celebrate special occasions by killing a sheep or two.

Iyi Bayramlar!

Posted on October 15, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

To all my Turkish, and Muslim, friends, family and readers all over the world, iyi bayramlar/Eid mubarak.
Hope you all have a wonderful few days celebrating with friends and family, I have blog posts coming up about how Berkay spent the holidays in Turkey! (:

What is Kurban Bayram?

Posted on October 12, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

As some of you may know, it is Kurban Bayram next week, but what does this mean, and how will it affect your holiday to Turkey?

Bayram literally means festival, or holiday, and is used to describe national and religious holidays in Turkey. There are two main religious (Islamic) holidays, one being Seker Bayram (celebrated after Ramadan), and the other being Kurban bayram, which is celebrated next week. In the UK this is known as Ed-al-Adha.

Kurban Bayram is the festival of the sacrifice, where millions of people sacrifice an animal to commemorate the Islamic prophet Ibrahim’s willingness to sacrifice his son as an act of obedience to God. Animals such as cows, goats and most often, sheep, are sacrificed. Once sacrificed, the meat is shared out, some is given to the poor, some is kept for the family, and some is given to other relatives, friends and neighbours. Of course Kurban Bayram/Eid isn’t just celebrated in Turkey, it is celebrated by Muslims all over the world.

This year, preparation for Kurban Bayram begins on the eve of the festival, the 14th October. Kurban Bayram will run from and including 15th-18th October and government offices, schools, post offices, banks, and some supermarkets will be closed throughout these days. Turkish people will be busy visiting family and friends, so roads, transport, hotels and restaurants will be very busy and full during the festivities.

What is my experience?
I was living in Turkey last year for Bayram and the atmosphere during this time is very special, it’s even something an outsider who doesn’t celebrate can sense. The only thing I can compare it to is Christmas. All the family comes together and enjoys time off from work and school to celebrate.

Berkay came home from work on the morning of the first day of Bayram and said our landlord had invited us downstairs for Turkish tea and to see the animal they were sacrificing. We stood on our balcony and watched as he tied the sheep up, said a prayer and slit its throat. It was all over very quickly. After he had killed it, he cut it’s head off, hung it up and began to skin it, then he cut its feet off, finished skinning it and cut its organs out. The wool and skin was left out to dry and the blood all washed away. That was it. My landlord is practically a farmer and owns sheep, goats and chickens so he was able to perform the sacrifice on his farm land, however, normally the sacrifice is supposed to be carried out by a professional in designated areas. It is not supposed to be done publicly in parks or playgrounds nowadays.

The sacrifice was over very quickly and it was very humane, it could be very disturbing for some people to watch though. It upset me a little, but it’s good to be reminded where your food comes from. Meat is so readily available in supermarkets these days that we all take it for granted and don’t really stop to think about where it really comes from.

The meat is given out to poor people, friends and neighbours. We got given a whole leg, it was a bit weird seeing it in my freezer.

In the evening we all gathered around for a barbeque downstairs in the garden (we all know how Turks like their bbq’s, don’t we?!) and of course the only thing on the menu was the meat that had formed part of a fluffy white sheep in my garden only a few hours earlier.

I have seen comments from people in the past who say the process of sacrificing millions of sheep over a few days for a religious festival is barbaric and inhumane, however, the meaning behind the tradition and the process of giving meat to those less fortunate people is a good one in my opinion, it is not meaningless killing for the sake of it, it has a purpose. Some people do find this an outdated, old fashioned tradition and some modern families like to donate money to charity instead.

Those normal tourists on holiday are very unlikely to see anything going on, they will probably be blissfully unaware of the sacrificing going on, as I mentioned above, it is often only done in designated areas in main towns. In the days leading up to Kurban Bayram you may see truck loads of sheep and goats being taken to towns, villages and cities. You will know the fate of those livestock on board. You may notice restaurants and hotels more busy than normal so it’s a good idea to book in advance if you plan to visit or go out during the next week. Remember banks will be closed and ATM’s may run out of cash. It is a nice idea to wish people happy holidays by saying ”Iyi Bayramlar”.

Overall, my experience of Kurban Bayram is a good one, It is more than just a bunch of crazy Turk’s cutting sheep’s heads off, in most cases, it is a traditional, civilized, family celebration of a religious festival.
I wish I were there this year!

Dogsitting mum’s shih tzu..

Posted on October 11, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

I’m currently sitting at mums house alone dog-sitting all night, and although it’s no substitute for my beautiful Boncuk, I love her dog and he’s cute, so thought I’d do a little post about him.What is your pet?
He’s my mum’s dog, but he’s a dog. A pedigree shih tzu.
What is their name?
Brad. It’s my mum’s favourite boys name, in fact, if i were a boy she was going to call me Bradley.
How old are they?
Two & a half. His birthday is 28th April 2010.
Where did you get them?
She got him from a breeder she found on the internet. They had a litter of puppies and mum went to see them and chose this one. He was so tiny and looked totally different than he does now!
Do they know any tricks?
In a word, no. He sits when he wants to, and gives you his paw sometimes, but he’s a stubborn little thing and won’t do anything unless he wants it. If you say ‘come here’ he usually runs off in the other direction, little monkey!
Do they snuggle, give kisses, follow you around?
He likes to follow mum around, he gets quite upset when she closes the baby gate to lock him downstairs! He also really loves to sit, lay down or sleep on your feet, I think it must be a comfort thing, if there’s a foot or a pair of slippers on the floor, you can bet your life he’ll lay on them. He likes to chew his ball on your feet as well, and lick them. Gross! Mum recently moved into a new house and got a lovely new sofa, he was banned from getting on it… that lasted a few weeks and now every time you sit down he sits staring and crying at you til you pick him up and let him snuggle on your legs. He’s a spoilt little brat really!

What are some of the funny things they do to make you laugh?
Oh too many to mention! Every time we have something to eat he sits staring as us til we give him some, naughty! He loves to play with his favourite ball, but its so small it fits under the sofa. Usually when it’s Eastenders time, he gets his ball out, kicks it under the sofa and then everyone has to get off and rearrange furniture so he can be reunited with it. It’s funny but irritating! Another funny thing he’s doing now is because I’m here and have started to go on walks with him and mum, he gets jealous that someone else is on ‘their’ walk. Every time we go out together he turns around and constantly tries to bite my shoes. Jealous pants!
He’s pretty unique, he’s got one wonky eye and constantly has his tongue hanging out/teeth on show. Stinky little fluff ball. (:

Man flu, sister duties & giant teddies..

Posted on October 8, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Tuesday today, instead of our weekly trip to Fethiye market for lunch and coming home with bags of fruit, veg and meat, I spent the day job hunting online, writing cover letters and going to cooking class with my little sister.

It still feels like a holiday, I still can’t believe I’m here for good and won’t see my home, boyfriend or dog anytime soon..

I’m loving spending time with my little sister, although it is a little irritating when she won’t leave my side and always wants to sit on my bed doing her puzzles, haha. Dad and stepmum have been working the same shifts this week so I’ve been doing big sister duties, taking her to nursery, picking her up and going to the park. (: It sure is a big adjustment from living alone with Berkay to living with my dad, stepmum, moody teenage brother and slightly irritating (seriously, how many times can you sing ‘wheels on the bus’ in one day?), two year old little sister. I love them though 🙂 Just miss the peace and quiet sometimes!

I do really miss general everyday life in Turkey, Berkay has been telling me its cold there this week, if I were there we’d be sitting all wrapped up warm around a BBQ on the balcony.. ): I miss walking our dog, going to the Tuesday markets, just waking up next to someone other than my giant teddy bear.. (It’s bigger than me..don’t ask..) He has been FaceTiming me everyday though and sending me photos of Boncuk, I hope she hasn’t forgotten me!

As well as all of that, I’ve been ill since Saturday, cold, cough, sore throat, headache, earache… Man flu..

All in all, nothing has changed since last time I posted.. It still doesn’t feel like home here, and I still want to go back.. ):

Bodrum Day 3. Views, boxes full of chicks and a broken down bus..

Posted on October 2, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

We spent our last few hours in Bodrum much the same as the previous two days, stuffing our faces with food and taking photos..

Breakfast was as good as ever. P.S, who doesn’t love hotel freebies?

After breakfast we wandered up to the roof terrace of the hotel where we had amazing 360oc panoramic views of Gumbet. The blue sky with a few clouds, boats on the sea and white buildings on the hillside make a great backdrop. It looked like a postcard.

I love how all the buildings in Bodrum and surrounding areas are white. It definitely adds something to the place, it makes it look so traditional and beautiful.

We sat by the pool for 10minutes and had a game of table tennis, then packed up our things and went to Bodrum. We had to check out at 12.00 but our bus back to Fethiye wasn’t til 14.30 so we had 2 hours to kill.
We wandered around Bodrum market, it was a lot bigger than the Fethiye ones. They also had some interesting things for sale… one man was sitting outside with a cage of rabbits, two boxes of baby chicks and several huge chickens/cockerels. So random.

Who wouldn’t be cheered up by a box of fluffy chicks though!? So cute.

Finally it was time to board the bus, it took over 5 and a half hours to get home, the silly old bus broke down for 45 minutes!

Overall, we had a fab time. We weren’t so keen on Gumbet, but the hotel we stayed in was lovely and Bodrum town was beautiful. It made a nice change from Fethiye and it was good to spend 2 days away together. It all seems a million miles away now I’m stuck back in England though. ):

Bodrum Day 2. Castle, boats & starbucks.

Posted on October 2, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Not so impressed with Gumbet, on Thursday we decided to go to Bodrum town. I absolutely LOVED IT. Perhaps even as much as I love Fethiye!

After the previous nights dinner, expectations were high for breakfast, we weren’t disappointed though. A huge buffet table greeted us, boiled eggs, omelette, tomato, cucumber, cheese, salami, chicken, fruit, honey, jam, biscuits, olives, chips, bread..and of course bottomless glasses of cay/Turkish tea.

After breakfast we got the dolmus to Bodrum and walked through the main town towards the marina. It was beautiful, all undercover and hundreds of little boutiques and shops selling everything from paintings to jewellery, clothes, bags, food.. I found these cute cushions with paintings of Bodrum on, clever.

The harbour/marina was lovely, such a pretty backdrop with the bright blue skies and hundreds of boats. We walked along the harbour and found the castle. So pretty and impressive too, especially at night when it’s all lit up.

We walked along to the castle for a better look, I wanted to go inside but we decided the 20tl each fee was too expensive, instead we walked around the cafe in the castle grounds and found the little photobooth offering photos dressed up as a Sultan. This was great fun and we ended up spending 40tl on photos, we could have just paid the castle entry fee after all. Oh well. It was a lovely place.

While we were having these funny photos taken, I spotted a lady walking around with a coffee cup that looked suspiciously like Starbucks. I made it our mission to find it and had Berkay asking 4 different people for directions. We eventually found the Starbucks and sat in their little garden with our Frappuccinos. Yummy. So refreshing in the heat! We paid 20tl for two though, ouch. We really were living like tourists for these 2 days!

The view from Starbucks was lovely, crystal clear water and a little path at the side where you could walk up to the castle. We followed the path and the views were amazing from the top. We had a little mini photoshoot as always, and made our way back down.

It was 4pm by this point and we really wanted to go back to the hotel for a swim before it got too late, as we knew the pool would be cold again. We got the dolmus back to Gumbet and had a swim and another game of volleyball, we had the pool to ourselves again and had some fun taking some underwater photos with my special iPod case.
So cheesy.

Then it was time to get ready for dinner again, I wore a new dress I bought in Bodrum. I hate clothes shopping, I can never find anything that looks right on me, but I loved this dress.

Dinner was amazing again, this time it was vegetable soup, mized meze, manti, salad, bread, steak with mushrooms and cake for dessert. Mmm.

After dinner we walked all the way to a mini themepark, it was a long walk, 30-40 minutes there and another 30-40minutes back again. It was lovely and cool so it was a nice evening walk. We purchased tickets for 2 rides, a giant pirate ship, which was the scariest, steepest pirate ship ride i’d ever been on, and another ride that span you around.. I thought I might see my dinner again haha!

After the rides, we walked back to Gumbet and met Berkay’s brothers in bar street. We went to a bar and paid 50tl for 4 beers and a vodka and coke, OUCH. Bodrum is not cheap, it’s the most expensive place i’ve visited in Turkey, even in the non touristy parts, water, crisps, bread..everything in the shops is more expensive. I’m glad we don’t live there.

Bodrum Day 1. Hotel, beaches & food.

Posted on October 2, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

It seems like such a long time ago now, but it was only actually two weeks ago today we went to Bodrum. We had a great time and it was lovely to spend some time together, they were the first days Berkay had off work since April!
These posts may be photo-heavy, I get very snap-happy with the camera…

At 9.30 am, just after Berkay came home from work, we boarded the little bus to Bodrum. It cost 35tl each and I can’t say it was very comfortable.. it was tiny and full. Luckily, most of the people were going to Mugla and we had the bus to ourselves for the second half of the journey so we could spread out.

Four and a half hours later, we arrived at Bodrum otogar (bus station), we hopped on a Dolmus to Gumbet and found our hotel (The Best Life hotels) When we arrived at the hotel, they greeted us with this little non-alcoholic cocktail. Yummy.

The hotel was so, so quiet. Apparently it was half full, but since the guests were mainly party people, they literally slept all day, and went out to bar street all night. No complaints here, we had the pool to ourselves most of the time and only 1-2 other couples at dinner/breakfast with us!

We got settled in our room then went for a little swim.

The pool was freezing, so after a quick dip and a game of volleyball, we headed out for a walk.

I wasn’t impressed with Gumbet at all, the beach was packed, everyone crowded on sunbeds like sardines, barely an inch between the beds. It was so dirty too. The roads and sidewalks were filthy, definitely not a fan. Our hotel was right next to bar street, but compared to the rest of the town, I actually liked it there (surprisingly for me… I normally hate loud, obnoxious bars. haha) By this time it was really cloudy, which made the place look worse. It still made a nice change though.

After our walk we headed back to our hotel room. We sat and played Triominos for a bit (hello, old granny game!) and had showers then got ready to eat.

We booked our hotel half board as we thought it would be cheaper than eating out, it cost 100tl extra for the two of us over two days. It was well worth the money, the food was amazing! Tomato soup for starters, then Turkish mixed meze (a lot of it!), salad, bread, 2 bowls of manti (Turkish food), a bbq with a huge selection of chips, rice, steak, chicken and meatballs. There was desert too but we were far too full to eat it. I was really impressed, it was so tasty!

After dinner we took the dolmus to Ortakent. This was definitely a Turkish resort, I only saw 2 English people walking around in the 2-3 hours we were there. Berkay’s brothers work there so we had a catch up with them and a wander along the seafront, it was really pretty. It reminded me a lot of Calis Beach, only less British influenced.

After all that, we went back to our hotel in Gumbet, sat by the pool for a little while then went up to our room, after having no sleep the night before, we both fell asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow, despite the banging music we could hear coming from bar street!

***WARNING, THIS POST CONTAINS PHOTOS THAT MAY DISTURB SOME READERS.***

As some of you may know, it is Kurban Bayram next week, but what does this mean, and how will it affect your holiday to Turkey?

WARNING, THIS POST CONTAINS PHOTOS THAT MAY DISTURB SOME READERS.