Back in Turkey & Wedding planning?

Posted on March 15, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

It seems like I’ve only just got back from Turkey (5 weeks ago) but tomorrow I’m flying back again! It’s only a quick visit this time, I’m going to the airport straight after work tomorrow evening, flying all night via Istanbul, and then landing in Dalaman at 7am! I fly back to the UK on Sunday morning so it’s just 4 days/nights.

I didn’t think I’d be back there again so soon, and the only reason I’m going is to put some of our wedding plans into action. I have completed the relevant paperwork here, had it signed by a solicitor and certified by the foreign office, but now we need to take our paperwork into the registry office in Fethiye, have some blood tests and book a date!

What started out as a small wedding in the registry office followed by dinner in a restaurant in Fethiye has turned more into a ‘proper’ wedding – I went dress shopping a few weeks ago and despite being adamant I would just have a pretty, basic dress from a high street shop, I ended up walking into a ‘Confetti and Lace’ bridal shop, trying on a beautiful, sparkly white wedding dress and the rest is history!!

Since then, we’ve been planning the wedding, I have sorted out favors, a cake, a venue, flights and accomodation, and now all we need to book is an actual date for the wedding in April, a photographer, flowers and wedding rings… It’s going to be a very busy, but exciting 4 days!

Online check in is done, my suitcase is packed full of nandos sauce for Berkay, and I’m nearly all ready to go…
See you tomorrow, Turkiye!

2015 – a year in photos.

Posted on January 6, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

A year ago, when Big Ben chimed for midnight, I was dreading 2015 and the inevitable things that came along with it. I had just moved back to the UK, I was trying to find a job, Berkay was heading off to the army and everything was very uncertain. Now, fast forward a year and things are looking quite different! I’m looking forward to the year ahead, but also reflecting back on 2015 and how far we’ve come so far, with the help of some photos!

January

January was mostly spent worrying about February. Berkay had 4 weeks before he was due to enter the army and we made the most of the time speaking on skype as much as possible. At the end of the month he sent me a package of goodies from Turkey, with some of my favourite Turkish treats and two pairs of baggy village pants. His little note ‘I love you honey, going to army but coming soon, wait me’ is now sitting framed on top of my two countdown jars.

February

February marked the moment that I’d been dreading for YEARS. The inevitable military service that Berkay had been putting off for years finally began. I can still remember this as if it were yesterday, sitting at home with my little sister watching Peter Pan after our last ‘goodbye’ skype with Berkay from outside the entry gate to the Izmir base camp. It was horrible. A lot of tears flowed that day! He didn’t know when he’d be able to contact me again so when I saw an Izmir phone number pop up on my phone later that day it was a huge relief! “We’re just waiting to check in” he said from the base camp phone, making it sound like he was just off on a little holiday! Those first few weeks were the toughest.

March

In the middle of March, 6 weeks after his start date, Berkay had his passing out parade to mark the end of his first stage of training in Izmir. His mum, brother, uncle and cousin went to watch and got to spend a couple of hours with him. His brother sent me photos as soon as he could and it was the first time I’d seen Berkay in his uniform! He looked very proud. He even managed to skype me from his brothers phone, and it was the first time I’d seen him since 4th February, I love this photo his uncle took of Berkay and his stepmum waving to me on skype, look at those smiles!

April

April was probably the most exciting month of the year. Berkay took 10 days leave in between training and starting at his new base in Kayseri. He went back to Fethiye for the week and I got a flight out to see him… It was the first time I’d seen him in person since December so it felt like a long time. We stayed in an apartment in Calis and had a lovely week together, I also got to spend my birthday there with him. Of course we were both reunited with Boncuk too, and she was very excited to see us! We picked her up from our friends house where she was staying, and rented a car so we were able to take her everywhere with us, to BBQ picnics, to the beach, to Oludeniz, and at the end of the week we packed up all her things and took her 4-5 hours away to Berkay’s familys village where her new home was. Spending a couple of days in Berkay’s village was hard, I don’t think I will ever get used to that place, but it was different for sure, and leaving Boncuk there was difficult! While we were there it snowed, so driving back to Fethiye through snowy roads and then 4 hours later ending up in the sunny, warm, Fethiye climate was very odd too!

May

After spending time with Berkay in April, adjusting back to the UK was hard, even after just a week away. But he kept sending me photo updates by sneaking me some photos from his friends phone. I’ve heard people say that their Turkish partners sent them photos of their names in bullets, Berkay sent me a photo of my name in flowers instead! I thought it was really funny, big, hard soldiers in camoflague picking and arranging flowers! Bless.

June

June was a big month. Finally, after 6 months of looking, I got my first full time, long-ish term job through an agency. Initially on a 3 month contract. The job was at Canary wharf, on the 33rd floor of the tallest building there! It was surreal at first, and very overwhelming. The first week or two I was there it was horrible, going out at lunchtime was a real struggle as there were thousands and thousands of people all outside going in all directions at the same time, a real culture shock compared to the relatively quiet areas of Turkey I’d been used to. It didn’t take long to adjust though, and I fell in love with the job. I love the view from our staff room window where we can see the whole London skyline. It’s so beautiful, and made me find a whole new appreciation for London!

July/August/September

Apparently, these months were really boring because I don’t appear to have many photos! I was getting used to full time work again, and adjusting to that. August was a big milestone because it meant we had hit the 6 month’s to go mark! Berkay had been in the army for 6 months and only had 6 more to go. Every day I put a marble in my ‘days down’ jar and seeing equal numbers in each jar felt like a real achievement!

October

October saw the arrival of autumn here and marked another month off the calendar. Berkay’s brother kept his promise of regular Boncuk updates by sending me the cutest photos of her. I remember sitting on the train home from work when he sent the photos and just smiling, look at her little face!

November

November was one of the toughest months of the year. Turkey held an election and emotions in the country were increasingly tense. The expectation of trouble in certain areas meant Berkay was transferred to one of the more dangerous zones in the South Eastern part of Turkey – Diyarbakir. This is an area known for terrorist activity and not a good one to be doing your army service in. I was very worried, and despite what he says, I know Berkay was too. He ended up spending about 5-6 weeks in Diyarbakir and he actually liked it more than his base in Kayseri, we got to speak a bit more on skype through his smuggled in phone, too! Oops.

The best part of the month for me was being told I definitely had my job until the end of the year at least, because by this point I loved it and knew I really wanted to be kept on. The earlier evenings meant I got to see the London skyline at night through our staff room window and it looked even more magical all lit up!

December

December was THE best month. I had to interview for my position at the company I work for and I was successful. I got the permanent job! This was more than just a job to me. It meant I could prove people wrong, people who were so judgmental in the past. Most importantly, it meant I earn well over the income requirement needed for Berkay’s visa to live in England. This is what I’d been waiting for and it seemed like it was never going to happen! After my manager told me I had to sneak off to the toilets for a little dance around (entirely true!). It was a huge weight lifted and another big obstacle out of the way. Such a relief.

Of course December also meant Christmas, and I had a lovely few days with my family, made even better by the knowledge that my job meant 2016 wouldn’t be quite so uncertain and unsettled (hopefully). The marble jars looked even better, with less than 40 days to go, and when Big ben chimed at midnight on 1st January 2016, I was filled with excitement about what the new year would bring, instead of being filled with dread.

It was a very emotional year, in one way or another, and definitely my most testing! Army life has not been easy for Berkay, or for me, and it’s certainly tested our relationship. After living together for 3 years, not seeing him for 8 months hasn’t been easy. By the time I see him again it will likely have been 9-10 months, but at last the end is in sight. Who knows what this year will bring, but I’m sure it will throw a few surprises our way, I’m just glad everyone I know and love made it through 2015, safe, happy and healthy.

I hope 2016 is kind to all of you, and us!
P.S less than 28 days to go!!

New job for me, farm life for Boncuk & the army countdown continues..

Posted on July 2, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

I haven’t posted here for over 6 weeks now, I have a lot I want to post and write about but I just haven’t had time.

The main reason for that is that I FINALLY found a full time job! I started 3 weeks ago and I’m enjoying it. I’d been looking for work since December but had no luck, other than a few days for an agency. I had applied for hundreds of jobs and kept getting knocked back, even after going for interviews etc. Finally my luck changed and an agency put me forward for a 3 month placement for a really interesting company who are based inside Canary Wharf – I went for the interview and got the job. It was overwhelming at first, I’m not a ‘people’, so the first few days of travelling to Canary Wharf in rush hour was a bit of a shock, but not quite as overwhelming as the chaos that is lunchtime inside, and around One Canada Square and Canary Wharf. Thousands of people queuing up, buying, sitting and eating their lunch all at the same time – it was really horrible at first. I’ve found ‘my’ spot now where I sit everyday for lunch and read my book (oh, hello Mr Grey 😉 ) , and even though it’s still busy and overwhelming, the initial shock has worn off! This is the view I face everyday whilst eating my sandwich – isn’t it pretty? I work inside that middle building, on the 30 something floor – eeek. I’m actually enjoying the role and it’s such a relief to be back into a routine and earning money – the last 3 weeks have gone very quickly so keeping busy at work certainly makes the days tick by faster.

Berkay is also being kept busy in the army. He’s finding it a lot harder than he anticipated and he can’t wait to get out and have some freedom. He’s still based in Kayseri, although there was a scary moment where he faced the prospect of being moved to a more dangerous area – thankfully he didn’t have to go. He gets a few hours off most weekends so he can go outside and speak to me on skype and he’s made two good friends there who get the same hours off as him so he wanders around the nearby shopping centres with them for hours. He says they are all the ‘oldies’ and people refer to them as such, because they’re mid twenties and most people doing their national service are a lot younger than that. I’m glad he’s made friends. He’s been in there for 5 months this week – another 7 to go, and he’s counting every single day.

I’m still moving the marbles from my ‘days to go’ jar into my ‘days down’ one, and it’s a relief seeing nearly equal amounts in each! Berkay has a little list of days in the shape of ‘365’ that he’s ticking off one by one – bless him.

One of the things I was most worried about when Berkay went in the army was Boncuk, where she’d go and how safe she’d be. Initially she stayed with our friends for the first 2 months – and when I was there in April we took her to Berkay’s family’s village instead. Berkay’s brother promised me he’d look after her, but I was still worried because although they have farm animals and care for them, a dog is different. Turkish people don’t really like dogs like we do. They have their own dog, used to guard the sheep – they don’t feed it proper food, just bread and the occasional sheep/goat hoof when slaughtering time comes around. Needless to say, when we turned up with Boncuk, her bags of food and asked Berkay’s dad to save her a bit of fish from his dinner plate so that we could get her to take her worming pill, they thought we were nuts. Thankfully, Berkay’s brother is lovely and has been looking after her nicely, sending me photo updates and answering all my ‘Boncuk nasil?’ messages! He says she loves him and jumps up him wagging her tail whenever she sees him. He even takes her for walks, which is unheard of in the village, people look at you like you’ve got two heads if you’ve got a dog on a lead but think nothing of someone walking along with a flock of sheep instead. Last week Berkay’s cousin was visiting the village and sent me some photos – I was sat on the train coming home from work when I got them and it made my whole day, Boncuk just looks so happy doesn’t she? Such a relief.

149 days down, 219 days to go!

P.S I’m off camping this weekend, but I hope to have another post up sometime next week – I still have a lot of lovely photos of Fethiye to share. If you’re interested in more photos, join our Facebook group www.facebook.com/groups/TurkishDreams where me and 3 of my friends post daily photo challenges among other Turkey related things! (:

Village adventure – day 3

Posted on December 3, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

We woke up on our last day in the village and knew we were going to be busy – we planned to leave the village at 12pm and travel to the nearest city center to visit more of Berkay’s relatives. The previous day Berkay’s dad had announced that since all the family was going to be together (including me, Berkay and both his brothers), something that happens very rarely, he was going to kill one of the animals from his garden so that we could all have a big family BBQ.
By the time we had woken up, had a shower and packed our bags ready to go, it was 10 o clock and Berkay’s grandad had just arrived to do the honors. I walked over to him to say hello with the traditional hand/head kiss and he seemed impressed by this, even more so when he said ‘nasilsin?’ and I answered in Turkish. There wasn’t much time to sit around and talk and we all headed out to the garden. I was walking around having one last look at all the animals and became friends with a goat, I was talking to him (yes…talking…) and he was licking my hand, it was all very sweet. Little did I know, that an hour later I’d be eating this goat for dinner.

Just 10 minutes after my encounter with the goat, Berkay’s brother walked into it’s little pen and led it around to the side of the house where they had been digging a hole. I knew what this meant, the poor goat was the chosen one.

I’m not sure what possessed me, but after giving him one last little stroke, I stood and watched as they removed it’s collar, laid it down with it’s head over the hole in the ground and tied it’s legs together. The goat didn’t protest at all, I guess it knew what was coming as much as the rest of us. Berkay’s grandad slit the goat’s neck, the blood drained out into the hole and that was that. Over in minutes. Quick, calm and as a little suffering to the goat as possible.

The worst part for me came after, was watching his grandad strip down a piece of skin from the goats ankle and blow air (from his own mouth…) into it, blowing the poor goat up like a balloon. I wasn’t entirely sure of the purpose of this, but I researched online and it says it makes it easier to skin them by doing this first. At this point I decided I didn’t want to watch anymore, and wandered back to the other animals instead, one of the sheep had actually escaped the pen it was in and was actually stood watching what they were doing to the goat… I wonder if it actually understood what was going on though.

I went with Berkay in the car to pick up his cousin and her daughter, who were coming back to the family house to enjoy the BBQ with the rest of us. It was a 20 minute drive and by the time we got back, the goat had been fully skinned and its meat was now lying on trays being chopped up into pieces. Including it’s head, eye, brain, intestines, liver and other organs. Bleugh. The family will probably make soup and other dishes out of these parts, they certainly don’t waste any edible parts – they even gave their dog the goats four raw hooves.

We all sat down to eat the BBQ, which included the lovely çintar mushrooms we’d found the day before, and it was really delicious. Of course I felt sorry for the poor animal we were eating, but I’m not vegetarian and eat alot of meat. We don’t usually think about where our food comes from because it’s all cleaned, neatly packaged and sold on supermarket shelves, we take it for granted and don’t consider where it actually comes from, so it’s definitely interesting, although a little disturbing, to see the process from furry animal in the garden to lump of cooked meat on your plate.

After eating, it was time to say our goodbyes. Berkay’s step-mum cried when we were going and gave us both big hugs. She is really sweet, she sent us home with a massive bag of onions, spinach, spring onions, nuts, butter, chicken and leftover goat, all things grown on their farm! I really, surprisingly enjoyed our time in the village, and I really didn’t expect to. It was just so peaceful there, so relaxing and it felt so far away from everything else, no worries, no thinking about anything.

us with Berkay’s stepmum.

But now it was time to change out of the village baggy pants, say bye to the lovely people and views and head to the city instead…

Moving back to Turkey!?

Posted on May 10, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Since the last post I wrote, a lot has changed. I had big decisions to make over bank holiday weekend, and now that I’ve made up my mind and informed everyone in ‘real life’, I can share here! So here it is…..

I’m moving back to Turkey!

… temporarily at least.

Since Berkay came here in April I realised how unhappy I really am here – I don’t know what it was but something just snapped and changed my mind. The plan was to stay here and save until after Berkay has finished his army service, which he’s supposed to be doing in February next year, but now I’ve decided to go out there for the summer to spend as much time with him as possible before he goes. I’m hoping to go at the beginning of June til November.

Last Monday I told my manager I was leaving. I have been working on a 3 month temporary contract, and she told me they were going to extend it, but I told her my plans and explained as I didn’t want her to think I was just giving up my job for a 6 month holiday or that I was unreliable. As it happens she said they were impressed with me and to keep in contact in case they have anything available when I come back – so here’s hoping!

There’s a lot to plan before I go – I haven’t even booked a flight yet but can’t because I’m waiting on my passport to arrive – my old one got ripped! We also need to find a house – Berkay has been living in the hotel and we can’t stay there so he’s been wandering the streets door to door to find one. He’s had no luck. Now it’s the summer season it’s proving really difficult to find a house that isn’t charging hundreds daily, we need one in Calis as that’s where Berkay will work, the other issue is that we need one that is furnished as we own nothing of our own, and not forgetting we need somewhere that has a garden so that Boncuk can stay. Our previous apartment was 350tl a month which was amazing, but we’re willing to pay up to 500-600tl now, if anyone knows of anywhere in Calis?! It’s proving difficult.

I’m having mixed emotions about going back- of course I’m really looking forward to it, I miss life there, and I can’t wait to see Berkay and Boncuk everyday, but at the same time, I know it’s not going to be like before, because I won’t be living there for long, I’ll know the days are numbered, and I won’t be in OUR house as it’s been rented to someone else. A part of me just wants back those old days – but I guess those are gone forever. Going back is going to be so strange!

I’m not feeling as excited as I should about going back because of the comments people have been making. Apparently going back for 6 months means I am ‘ruining’ my life and subjecting myself to an ‘existence not a life’. It’s always the people you least expect to make those hurtful comments. Apparently it’s also common knowledge that I am going only ‘to avoid working for a living’ because I think the world owes me something – also not true. I’ve worked, I saved, I’m going with the money I have. I’m not asking for help financially from anyone. Sure, I’ve given up my job which is a silly thing to do the way things are at the moment – but I didn’t do it just to get a holiday. It’s not going to be a holiday at all – I’m just going to spend time with Berkay, in the two and a half years I lived there I never lived like a tourist, and won’t, I don’t want to be judged as one of those girls who just goes for the season to party hard – that’s not me at all. When Berkay goes in the army, I won’t see him for a year unless he gets leave at a time when I’m able to visit for a week. The way I see it is if I don’t go now, I may spend that year regretting it and wishing I’d spent as much time with him as possible. Maybe in a year’s time I may regret going and giving up my job, but I have the rest of my life to do that, I only have one chance to go before he goes into the army, so that’s what I’m doing.

I’m not really sure why I feel like I have to defend my decision, because it is MY decision after all, I’ve made up my mind to go, I shall do my very best to enjoy every minute of my 6 months there and when I come back I shall have to face all the consequences of my decision, which I am absolutely fine with.

3-ish weeks to go!

Worry, worry, worry…

Posted on March 9, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s Sunday evening, and I’m sat in my bedroom utterly depressed. Monday tomorrow, which I’m sure everyone else who works 9-5 Monday to Friday shall agree, sucks. Monday should be a swear word. In fact, from now on I shall star out the letters. Screw you, M****y.

I’ve been at this job a month, and still hate it as much as my first day.
Despite hating every second of it, I was relieved when I was told by my manager that as far as he was concerned, they would keep me on for longer than 3 months, which they have now said isn’t true as there isn’t enough funding for the new role. So it’s back to square one. Spending my days doing a job I hate, and evenings and weekends back looking for a permanent job earning £18k in London. I applied for 200+ between October – January, and only ever got a reply from one, which was a no. I’m hoping this 3 months experience I will now have will help, but in reality, I’m not so sure it will. I’m sick of it all. I’m not passionate about any career in particular, I never have been. When I was 18 I had an unconditional offer for a university place,achieved 2 A’s and a B at A Levels, and was a fully pledged geek. Instead of taking the opportunity to go to university to study psychology, what did I do? Give it all up and worked 20 hours a week at Sainsbury’s. Clearly I don’t have my head screwed on correctly, because who in their right mind would make that choice? It’s a no-brainer isn’t it? The truth is, I only even applied for university to keep other people happy, because that’s what I was supposed to be doing. I never really wanted to. I should have stuck to my guns this time, and never took an office job. The only job I’m passionate about doing, is working with young children, or animals, neither of which pays much money, and neither of which will get me earning enough to get Berkay to the UK, not in the foreseeable future anyway.

People have commented before about doing a TEFL course and being able to teach English in Turkey, possibly allowing me to get a work permit, it’s not as easy as that though, and from people who already have these jobs, most places require CELTA qualifications, which are much much more expensive, and I’m not even remotely confident enough in myself to teach at a foreign school. I do intend to do a TEFL course soon though.

I’ve had conversations with my family this week about the immigration rules requiring me to be earning £18,600. All they kept saying before I moved back here was ‘you’ll walk straight into a job earning that money’, 6 months and 3 jobs later, here I am, unsurprisingly not earning that.Through these conversations, what I have gathered is that they see nothing wrong with these rules at all. It frustrates me. I’m not saying the world and it’s mother should have free rights to jump on a plane to the UK and enter freely, not at all. I’m just saying that it should be assessed in a fairer way, back to the old rules of the spouse having to show an extra £100 a week after outgoings to show they can afford another person living with them. Someone earning £18,600 could have outgoings of £18,600 a year, or be seriously in debt, whilst someone earning £16,000 may have outgoings of £12,000 a year. Who is in the better position then? Who has the right to decide which people deserve to live with their partners and children, based on income alone? Hell, reports have shown 48% of the UK’s population don’t earn £18,600, are you really telling me those 48% don’t have the right to live with who they want?

Away from the job and visa side of things, I have a new worry constantly on my mind. Boncuk. She’s staying with Berkay in the hotel at the moment, as it’s closed for winter and she is able to roam freely around the grounds. In summer, the hotel owner wants her gone as she’ll disturb guests by barking when seeing the lights, people and hearing the noise, which I can’t really argue with because I know she would do exactly that. This leaves us not knowing where she can go. Berkay has always taken care of her and took her with him to the hotel when he had nothing, he fed her before himself, sharing the only fish he’d caught with her so she’d eat well. We love her to pieces, and the thought of having to give her to someone else breaks my heart. Berkay was considering putting her in the kennels at the local vet, until they said they wanted 600tl a month for the privilege. 600tl a month out of his wages would leave him just 150tl a month to live on. Our own rent was only 350tl! I have gone to bed in tears twice this week after looking at the photos of the three of us, me, Berkay and Boncuk, and wishing with all my heart I could go back to those days. Giving Boncuk to a stranger, if we could even find someone to have her, would mean I never saw her again. I just can’t deal with that. We do have a kind of last resort, our friends said she can stay in their garden, but they only rent their apartment, and I’m worried Boncuk will get settled and used to them and then the landlord kick her out. I wish she could come here, I wish I could just fly out and get her and bring her back, but realistically that’s not possible either. £750 to fly or drive her back, and then still the issue of finding her a home here. My parents won’t let her stay here, not a chance in hell, I’ve asked and begged several times. She’s an outside dog, hates being indoors and isn’t even toilet trained, so I’d need to be able to find, afford and rent a ground floor flat or house with a garden to keep her in. What are the chances of that? I need to put her first, but I’ve always been adamant we’ll do everything we can to keep her with us. She’s our dog, we found her, took her in and she trusts us. Never in a million years would I dump her on the street, and finding a new home would be heartbreaking for both her, and us. What do to?

Honestly, life at the moment is just one big mess. I don’t even have anything positive to say. I don’t know what to do, say, feel.

It’s 2.5 weeks until Berkay is here, but that too, is bittersweet. When I’ve published this post I’m off to book his flight back to Turkey for 19th April. He’s not even here yet and I’m already thinking about and dreading him going back.

For now, I’m taking it one day at a time. Making the most of this Sunday evening before the hell of M****y hits.
Have a good week everybody.

31 days, 1 hour and 18 minutes..

Posted on February 23, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Last week was probably the hardest week I’ve had since I came back to England, and I’m not entirely sure why.

I found myself spending more time crying in the office toilets, than actually sat at my desk doing work for the first half of the week, and I’m not even exaggerating.

It would be easier if there was one thing bothering me, but there’s a whole list. New job that I’m not enjoying, not getting along with people, missing Berkay, wondering when I’ll next see him after April, wondering how I’ll afford it and be able to take time off, worrying about where Boncuk is going to stay in summer… The list is endless, but I can’t go into much detail because my blog is public and there are eyes I don’t want reading it.

It’s painfully obvious I’m not happy here anyway.

On the plus side, only 4.5 weeks until Berkay is back here. To be precise, it’s exactly 31 days, 1 hour and 18 mintues til he arrives 😉

New job, visas & keeping it real.

Posted on February 16, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s been a big week this week.

I finally started back at work, been waiting for 2 months for them to sort out the contract! It’s a full time office job and only a 3 month temporary role, but hopefully they may keep me on afterwards. Not going to lie though, it’s been hard adjusting back to working life!

Starting back at work has made me feel really frustrated. Frustrated about the visa rules keeping us apart. In order to meet the income requirements for Berkay to come to the UK, I need to be earning another £2,600 a year. Without getting a second job and working all weekend also, in order to make up the difference I need over £21,000 in savings. I really don’t know where these rules came from, how does a shortfall of £2,600 equate to anything near £21k? Ironically, If I did earn the required income I’d really be no better off, travelling to 2 jobs would cost more, and the more money I earn, the more I’ll be paying my parents for rent. I’ve been feeling really down about it, I feel like I’m getting nowhere and that every penny I earn is meaningless, I can save it up, sure, but what use is money when you have nobody to spend it with?

I know it’s a long process, and I’m finally on the first step of the ladder, but it’s still frustrating. I’m impatient. Having Berkay so far away and seeing him for a couple of minutes on Skype everyday isn’t enough. How can we cope like this for years? It’s seriously depressing me. ‘Keep positive’ everyone says, but knowing we have another 2 years+, at the very least, of living like this is so frustrating and upsetting.

I’m also feeling jealous of other people, and I know I really shouldn’t. Jealous of people who only spend a few weeks apart at a time. Jealous of people who have their husbands here for months at a time on a visit visa and wondering why that’s just not possible for us. In theory, Berkay could have stayed here for 6 months, that would be wonderful, but then there’s our dog Boncuk to think about, and he needs to be earning money, my parents wouldn’t let him stay with us for free, so we couldn’t afford that either. I find myself becoming more jealous of these people everyday, and more and more frustrated that I can never see us being in the same position as them. Berkay works bloody hard in Turkey, 12-15 hour days for less than £250 a month, yet he’s never in a better position. I don’t know what else he can do?

‘Don’t pay for his flight, make him pay for something and save’ my Dad says. He has no idea. The cost of living in Turkey is cheaper than the UK, yes, but not that much cheaper that makes living on £250 a month possible. Thank God Berkay doesn’t have to pay rent, water, or electricity currently. But he still has phone bills, travel costs, food costs, he still has to eat, and so does Boncuk. He has debt to pay off. He hasn’t even had a full months wages since October. Roll on summer when he’ll be earning more money.

I’m finding myself getting frustrated with people telling me they know how I feel, when they really don’t. All they’ve ever known is seeing their partner once every 3 months for a week, whereas I’ve lived there for 2.5 years, woke up next to him, slept next to him, ate meals with him.. Living 2.5 years of your life seeing each other every single day, then going to see them once every 3 months is just not the same.

People are being supportive, some tell me I should get back on a plane to Turkey… ~~as if I need any convincing 😉 ,~~ others tell me I’m doing the right thing and that we’ll get there eventually. Neither really make me feel better. I just feel stuck. There is no easy way out. No quick fix.

I seem to have caused quite a bit of controversy in the past couple of days by airing my feelings on the internet, but one of the reasons I started this blog was to have a space for my own thoughts, so apologies if It’s not always happy, rainbows and butterflies. I say what I mean, and mean what I say, I try to keep it real, It wouldn’t be a true representation of my life if I only wrote the positive things on here. I welcome all comments, even if it’s not always what I want to hear!

I only hope it will be worth all the tears and time apart in the end. ❤

Quote : Art Williams.

Jobs are like buses..

Posted on February 7, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

You wait around ages for one then 3 come along at once … quite literally!!

Berkay quit his job mid January, and was struggling to find work with hotels not wanting anyone outside of the tourist season.. His luck changed last week when a hotel in Fethiye called him asking him to start the next day, he said yes, but just before he was due to start, the restuarant he was at before Christmas called him wanting him back, pay was less but they provided his transport so it worked out around the same.. he took that job and was there for 3 days when his summer boss called and asked him to start working in their sister hotel, which is open all year around. Berkay couldn’t believe his luck! He knows this boss well and works with him every summer so he knows he is guaranteed to be paid unlike last winter when he worked for 2 months without a penny being handed over..

So now Berkay is working in Vizon hotel in Fethiye’s main town centre. It’s a very Turkish hotel, it’s rare any other nationalities visit, it’s not touristy at all. He’s happy there and gets along well with the other staff who he’s known for over 7 years. I’m so pleased he finally has a job so he can start earning and saving, the best part is they’re letting him have 3 weeks holiday to come back to the UK in March/April so he has a guaranteed job when he returns too. Phew.

It’s not just Berkay that’s been having luck on the job front, I finally have a start date for the job I’ve been promised since the beginning of January, I’m starting on Monday and pleased that this is the first step of a very, very long journey towards getting Berkay here for good ~~hopefully.~~

In other news… My little doggy Boncuk has a boyfriend! His name is Maxi and he lives near where Berkay stays. Maxi and Boncuk used to ‘talk’ to each other through the gate, and when Berkay opened it to let him in the other day, they shared a little kiss 😉

Look how happy my fur baby looks ❤

I’m missing Turkey a lot lately, but Berkay is keeping me updated with photos.
7 weeks time and he will be back here! Can’t wait.

Catching up with Berkay & Boncuk..

Posted on January 26, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s been 3 weeks tomorrow since Berkay went back to Turkey, but it seems like so much longer. The day after he returned he found a job, but quit after a week or so because he was only earning £6.40 a day for 13-15 hours work and he was getting frustrated as the greedy boss was taking all of Berkay’s tips off him. When you’re earning so little, tips make all the difference, it could double his wages.

He’s been walking around all the hotels in Calis and in Fethiye trying to find work, but no luck as of yet, nobody needs staff in winter as most of the hotels are closed, and the ones that remain open are quiet enough that they do not need to employ any new people. All I can say is that it is a good job I’m not there this winter as we wouldn’t survive, no way could we find enough money to even pay rent, without even thinking about bills, food and other costs. Berkay is struggling himself, relying on friends to make him dinner and bring him food as he has zero money himself. It’s difficult for people here to understand, my Dad was moaning because I paid for Berkay’s upcoming flight to the UK in March and he thinks he should be paying for it himself, when that’s not even an option. If I don’t pay, I won’t see him, simple. Sure, at the moment Berkay doesn’t have to pay rent or electric bills, but phone, food and general day to day costs, buses, water, dog food… It all adds up, and earning £6.40 a day for a week hardly gave him an opportunity to save. He is doing his best to find work though, and is waiting for one hotel to call him back, it sounded promising!

I’ve got a feeling this summer will be hard too, with the strength of the lira weakening meaning prices in tourist resorts will increase, while wages most definitely will not.

Anyway, the time off work means Berkay has been spending a lot more time with Boncuk, and has been taking her for nice winter walks along the beach, he managed to get food for her on a ‘pay later’ promise, so she’s well fed and happy. She loves staying in the hotel and being free to roam around while its closed, we are unsure where she will be able to stay in Summer though. She’s due her yearly booster vaccinations now, so Berkay is trying to get that sorted too, luckily he has a friend who knows a vet, so no doubt they’ll be on a ‘pay later’ promise too. Getting into debt for Boncuk is worth it, of course. (:

This dog is Boncuk’s friend. It lives near the hotel and comes to the fence to say hello to her, Berkay let it into the hotel grounds today and let them have a little play off the lead together. Bless.
Berkay has also been spending a lot of time with friends, they often go fishing together hoping to catch some dinner! They are a lovely couple, we often went for BBQ’s together when I lived there, I have done a few posts involving them in the past. Their little boy, Çınar , is over a year old now, bless him. Berkay took this little monster dressing gown back for him from the UK after Christmas. Seeing how big he has got really makes me realise how much things are changing and how long I’ve been away. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday I lived there, sometimes it seems like forever.