An army update & going to visit!

Posted on March 19, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

Berkay has been in the army for 6 weeks today and although he hasn’t gone quickly, seeing the marbles in my ‘days down’ jar increasing everyday is quite reassuring and a good reminder that time is actually passing!

So far, Berkay’s not been having too bad of a time. We’ve spoken every single day over the phone, and had skype sessions on his day off for the past 3 weekends, although he’s not allowed out this weekend because there’s a chance of trouble due to a Kurdish holiday… I’m so relieved we’ve had contact everyday, even if it is mainly just a 2 minute phonecall. The fact it’s such a limited time we get to speak means it’s hard to say everything I want to, we used to live together, know what each other were doing all the time, and now suddenly we don’t really know anything about each other, living two totally separate, vastly different lives.

Aside from that, it’s been going ok. Berkay tries his best to help me understand army life, he tells me things they’ve been doing, once last week they all played paintball to practice shooting terrorists and his team won. That’s a good sign, right? They also go to the cinema in the base quite a lot to watch army practice videos and to regular lessons. It all seems quite organised.

The main worry for me since even before he joined the army, was where he would be placed – he’s in Izmir at the moment for training, but once that’s finished he’ll be moving someone else… Well, finally last week he called me and sounded very excited – “guess where I’m going after Izmir?” He said…. “not the bad place! Kayseri!”. Kayseri is a big city right in the centre of Turkey, on a map it’s literally the exact centre point. It’s a long way from Fethiye – around 12 hours on the bus, so this gives you an idea of just how big the country is – its takes well over 24 hours of non-stop driving from one side to the other. We were both very relieved when he learnt he’d be sent there – it’s supposed to be a lovely place, and there was a real possibility that he could have been sent to the Syrian border, in fact he said 60% of the 400+ people he’s with in Izmir are being sent there, something we obviously didn’t want, so he is really very lucky.

We’ve also been waiting to find out the date he’ll be transferring bases and can take some leave – he asked for 10 days and it starts on 3rd April, so as soon as he rang me and told me that, I booked my flights out there. I was deliberating whether or not to go, but I think my mind was made up all along – although he’s only been in the army for 6 weeks, I’ve not seen him for 13 weeks and it will be 15 before the time I do, so I think it’s a necessary trip to break up the time a bit. I’m out there for 7 days from 4th April, which means flights were very expensive because it’s Easter, and the school holidays – in fact they were so expensive that I couldn’t even justify paying the extra £50 (rip off..) for baggage, so all I have is 5kg worth of hand luggage to stuff my clothes in – a scary thought! It won’t be a relaxing holiday – we probably won’t stay in a hotel as it’s too expensive and Berkay wants to visit his family in their village for a few days too, and of course lots of walkies and cuddles with Boncuk while we’re in Fethiye! It’s my birthday the day before I fly back so it will be nice to celebrate that there too, I’ve never been in Turkey for my birthday!

At least I have something to look forward to, I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that Berkay’s leave dates don’t change at all. For now, I’ll keep counting down the days, sticking those marbles in a jar and keeping busy – I have a job interview tomorrow so keep your fingers crossed for me please!

~~15 days to go 😉~~

Army life: Sore legs, phone calls & a little understanding..

Posted on February 8, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s been 3 days since Berkay walked through those doors and started his national service.

So far he’s managed to call me once everyday, for around 1 minute each time, and although that’s been brilliant I’m trying not to get my hopes up that it will continue to prevent disappointment!

On the 2nd day, he called me in the evening and told me he hadn’t done much, just checked in, got his army uniform, been introduced and eaten. He seemed thrilled they had ‘red meat, pasta and yogurt’ for dinner, I think he’s eating better there than he did back at home in Fethiye! When I was living there red meat like steak and beef was a real treat as it’s so expensive, but since I’ve been back in England he’s not been buying food to cook for himself at all and he had been eating snall ‘pop kek’ cakes for dinner instead! He also said there are 400 people all sleeping in the same room, presumably in bunk beds or similar… it’s a good thing he’s so social, I’m sure he’s already made lots of friends, he talks to anyone and everyone.

One thing (well, one of many..) that is frustrating about the whole national service process is the fact that they aren’t paid at all for their time. This means that with Berkay having no income for year, he won’t be able to save, so it’s all down to me to save for our ‘future’, which is overwhelming at the best of times, even more so when I haven’t even got a job yet! I’ve been looking since I arrived back in December and haven’t had much luck. I had an interview on Friday morning and it seems like a job I’d really enjoy, so fingers crossed for that.

While I was on the train on the way to the interview, I had an unexpected morning phone call from Berkay. He’d previously called in the evenings so it caught me off guard, but I was so pleased to hear his voice and it put me in a good mood before my interview, even if it was a very short 30 second phone call before we got cut off as the train entered a tunnel.

I had another call from him this morning, he told me he had 10 minutes of free time and had ran to the phone to talk to me quickly. He’d been running, doing push ups, sit ups and other such exercise his body isn’t used to! I have visions of a ‘an officer and a gentlemen’ style scene in my head! “I’m so tired I can’t move my legs, they hurt so much” he said, yet he still ran to the phone to talk to me, bless.

The unpredictable phone calls are a little annoying, having to take the phone to the shower, toilet, panic if Three loses signal for a couple of seconds or if I’m in a dodgy connection zone. He doesn’t get much free time and if I miss his call, that’s it for the day. People don’t seem to understand this and laughed when I mentioned it, that’s alright if you have your loved ones with you, an arms reach, a text or a phone call away isn’t it? Thank goodness we don’t have to rely on good old ‘snail-mail’ though.

I am so, so grateful for the internet. I have met a few lovely girls whose partners are also currently doing or have already done their national service and it is such a comfort talking to them knowing they understand exactly what I’m feeling. Whether its moaning about lack of phone calls, asking about what we’re allowed to send the men in the post or panicking about the little details of army life, they’ve been a great source of information and a great help. It’s frustrating having other friends and family dismiss my thoughts and feelings. I’ve developed a random rash on my face this week and several people suggested it could be stress. “Stress?” one family member laughed, “what have you got to be stressed about?”.. well, quite a lot, actually. Sigh.

Even hearing ‘it’ll go quickly’ drives me crazy, I know it’s meant well and time does inevitably pass, but that’s just it, no matter how quickly the time nay go, its still got to ‘go’, and that’s the hard part.

362 days and counting…

Army service has begun & the countdown begins..

Posted on February 6, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

Yesterday was the day I’d been dreading for years.

The inevitable finally happened and Berkay made the journey to Izmir to start his 12 month military service. It had been a massive obstacle for a long time, something that had been hanging over us for years, preventing us from really settling anywhere.

Every Turkish male (health permitting) has to do national service, most of them do it when they are younger, aged 18-19, but Berkay deferred it due to his college studies.

He’s 24 now and decided it was time to get it over and done with, so after spending his last week of freedom in his village in Denizli, he got on the bus and headed off back to Fethiye to visit Boncuk and meet his friend who would take him to his training base in Izmir. Its tradition for the males going off to the army to drive around in cars decorated with huge Turkish flags, so Berkay’s brother decorated his car and drove him around, beeping the horn loudly to let everyone know. It’s also common for them to fire gun shots and make as much noise as possible for their big send off, showing everyone how proud they are.

Berkay spent the night in Izmir city centre in a house belonging to a relative of his friend, and everything started to become very real. It hit me that this would be the last time I got a ‘I’m going to bed, goodnight, love you’ message for a long time, something that we normally said every single night.

A fairly sleepless night later, it was Wednesday 4th February. D-day. A morning of getting last minute things sorted. Berkay went off to the shops to buy a payphone card to contact me with and a bottle of shaving gel. He somehow managed to fit all of his things into one small, black rucksack. Of course the most important thing is the notebook book with my number written down in it and the wallet-sized photographs of me he took with him 😉

We had a few skype calls during the day, during one of which my dad spoke to him to say ‘stay safe and look after yourself’, ‘you too look after Danni’ was Berkays response! Finally, 2 pm came and the dreaded final skype call came ringing through on my iPad. He was standing outside the army base, waiting to go inside and give his phone to his friend for safe keeping. A couple of minutes later and that was it, he was gone – inside the Izmir army base (patriotically decorated with a HUGE flag of Ataturk) where he’ll complete his training before moving onto his main posting for the remainder of the 12 months.

A few hours later at 5.30 pm our time, he managed to get to a pay phone inside and I got my first ‘army phonecall’, I was so relieved. “I’m waiting to check in, there are so many people. There were 20 people waiting for phone but I wanted call you”…. that one phone call made me feel so much better. Bless him.

It’s so weird to think that after 4 and a half years of speaking to each other every single day, a total of 162,117 Facebook messages back and forth (yes, that is the actual number) and 3 years living together, suddenly our contact will be suddenly dramatically decreased. No more good morning or goodnight messages, no more ‘I’m on the bus going to work’ or ‘im just having a shower’ messages. No more moaning to him when I’m annoyed, no more quickly FaceTiming him to share good news or when I need his face to cheer me up. It’s really hard knowing he’s not just a Facebook message away. He will have no internet access until he gets days off or holidays when he is able to pop to an internet cafe, but neither of us have any idea when that will be. He doesn’t have his phone in there with him, a lot of people try to smuggle them in unnoticed, but if caught they can be punished with days in army-prison and forced to make up the extra days at the end of their service, it’s just not worth the risk. Instead we’ll have to make do with phonecalls, hopefully as regularly as possible. It’s the uncertainty that bothers me, and the not knowing when he’ll call, I’ll have to try and avoid no-signal zones as much as possible! Will I miss a call while I’m stuck on the underground trains? In the cinema, in the local supermarket with no signal, at work? I’m hoping we’ll settle into a routine soon enough though.

For now, I’ll settle for crossing the days off my calendar and going to bed and waking up with this little reminder staring at me. “Love you honey. Going to army but coming soon. Wait me”. He sent me this little post-it note along with some of my favourite Turkish treats in a package last week, all the way from Turkey. I’ve framed it and have it in my room, I love reading it over and over again!

364 days and counting.

London with Berkay – part 2

Posted on April 23, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

I posted part 1 of my birthday day out in London yesterday, and as promised, here is part 2.

On our way to Buckingham Palace, we found ourselves at St.James Park. It was a lovely sunny afternoon and it was absolutely gorgeous walking through the park at this time of the day. There were beautiful yellow daffodils, blossom on the trees, flowers growing, green grass- beautiful! The lake looked lovely with the water fountain and ‘duck island’ in the middle.

Anyone who knows me know’s I’m an animal lover – so seeing all the cute ducks, swans and pelicans was sweet, the pigeons not so much- I hate it when things fly near me! This duck was so funny, doesn’t it just look like he’s posing for the camera?! He turned around, looked at me, tilted his head then started walking towards me – I think he was hoping for food, but we had none… sorry Mr Duck.

Berkay was trying to get the pigeons to sit on his arm, ewwwww. A nearby man who was obviously a regular at the park spotted him and gave him a handful of bird seed from a huge sack he had, he told him to hold his hand down low and feed the birds… and he did! Look how happy he looks, he’s an animal lover too.

We spotted some squirrels who were surprisingly not shy at all – they were obviously used to being photographed as I held my camera literally an inch away from his face and he just sat there eating his nut…cute!

When we came to the end of the park, we could see Buckingham Palace, or ‘The Queen’s house’ as Berkay calls it. We made our way over and dont the typical touristy things, took a photo of the guard, took a photo of each other standing outside the gates.. thought about popping in to visit my old mukka Queenie for some tea and scones…

There’s something about London that makes you feel patriotic. I’m not the least bit patrotic normally, I’m normally moaning about the country, but standing outside Buckingham Palace and looking out accross The Mall, seeing all the Union Jack flags – it really made me feel..well… British.

We walked to St James Park station, again relying on my phone’s GPS to guide us, what a lifesaver that was – and got off at Leicester Square. It was really busy with street performers, people laying on the benches and grass, there was even a dog playing in the water fountain – sweet! One of the street performers was a magician, he had a little mouse with him… we missed most of the act, but at the end he put his little pet mouse on the floor and let everyone go and stroke it. ‘Please be careful with her’ he said … it melted my heart! Nothing cuter than a man and his pet mouse hehe!

The main reason we were at Leicester Square was for M&M’s world! I’ve been to the one in New York before while I was there on a school trip, but I’d never been to the London one. The smell when you walk in … oh.my.god. Chocolate heaven! After a while it all looks the same, and you get sick of seeing all the overpriced merchandise – but some of it is cute. I think I purchased the cheaperst thing in the shop – a £3.50 fluffy m&m purse. There are giant M&M statues all around the store – all 4 levels of it – making for some perfect photo opportunities..

The best part about the whole place are the walls with tubes stacked full of M&M’s in every single colour possible, chocolate ones, peanut ones, crispy ones… ahhh, I’ve just realised I still have some left over from the bag we made up – as soon as I finish this post I’m going to tuck into them!

After a good 45 minutes in chocolate heaven, we walked all the way to Oxford Street – and to the massive Primark. We didn’t get much, a few bits for our friends baby twins, and a pretty awesome pug duvet cover for me. What’s the point of having birthday money if you can’t spend it eh?

We met up with my dad, stepmum, brother and sister for dinner. We all went to a little Indian restaurant near Aldgate, in London. It was really yummy.. Berkay went for a hot dish and think he regretted it later!

How cute is my baby sister? ❤ She adores Berkay.. and me. She follows me around like a little sheep when I come home from work. Bless. She gave me lots of birthday cuddles, and helped me show off one of my birthday presents- a sweet picture for my wall made by my step mum. A photo of me, Berkay and Boncuk and the word ‘Happiness’ – that says it all.