Yesterday was the day I’d been dreading for years.
The inevitable finally happened and Berkay made the journey to Izmir to start his 12 month military service. It had been a massive obstacle for a long time, something that had been hanging over us for years, preventing us from really settling anywhere.
Every Turkish male (health permitting) has to do national service, most of them do it when they are younger, aged 18-19, but Berkay deferred it due to his college studies.
He’s 24 now and decided it was time to get it over and done with, so after spending his last week of freedom in his village in Denizli, he got on the bus and headed off back to Fethiye to visit Boncuk and meet his friend who would take him to his training base in Izmir. Its tradition for the males going off to the army to drive around in cars decorated with huge Turkish flags, so Berkay’s brother decorated his car and drove him around, beeping the horn loudly to let everyone know. It’s also common for them to fire gun shots and make as much noise as possible for their big send off, showing everyone how proud they are.
Berkay spent the night in Izmir city centre in a house belonging to a relative of his friend, and everything started to become very real. It hit me that this would be the last time I got a ‘I’m going to bed, goodnight, love you’ message for a long time, something that we normally said every single night.
A fairly sleepless night later, it was Wednesday 4th February. D-day. A morning of getting last minute things sorted. Berkay went off to the shops to buy a payphone card to contact me with and a bottle of shaving gel. He somehow managed to fit all of his things into one small, black rucksack. Of course the most important thing is the notebook book with my number written down in it and the wallet-sized photographs of me he took with him 😉
We had a few skype calls during the day, during one of which my dad spoke to him to say ‘stay safe and look after yourself’, ‘you too look after Danni’ was Berkays response! Finally, 2 pm came and the dreaded final skype call came ringing through on my iPad. He was standing outside the army base, waiting to go inside and give his phone to his friend for safe keeping. A couple of minutes later and that was it, he was gone – inside the Izmir army base (patriotically decorated with a HUGE flag of Ataturk) where he’ll complete his training before moving onto his main posting for the remainder of the 12 months.
A few hours later at 5.30 pm our time, he managed to get to a pay phone inside and I got my first ‘army phonecall’, I was so relieved. “I’m waiting to check in, there are so many people. There were 20 people waiting for phone but I wanted call you”…. that one phone call made me feel so much better. Bless him.
It’s so weird to think that after 4 and a half years of speaking to each other every single day, a total of 162,117 Facebook messages back and forth (yes, that is the actual number) and 3 years living together, suddenly our contact will be suddenly dramatically decreased. No more good morning or goodnight messages, no more ‘I’m on the bus going to work’ or ‘im just having a shower’ messages. No more moaning to him when I’m annoyed, no more quickly FaceTiming him to share good news or when I need his face to cheer me up. It’s really hard knowing he’s not just a Facebook message away. He will have no internet access until he gets days off or holidays when he is able to pop to an internet cafe, but neither of us have any idea when that will be. He doesn’t have his phone in there with him, a lot of people try to smuggle them in unnoticed, but if caught they can be punished with days in army-prison and forced to make up the extra days at the end of their service, it’s just not worth the risk. Instead we’ll have to make do with phonecalls, hopefully as regularly as possible. It’s the uncertainty that bothers me, and the not knowing when he’ll call, I’ll have to try and avoid no-signal zones as much as possible! Will I miss a call while I’m stuck on the underground trains? In the cinema, in the local supermarket with no signal, at work? I’m hoping we’ll settle into a routine soon enough though.
For now, I’ll settle for crossing the days off my calendar and going to bed and waking up with this little reminder staring at me. “Love you honey. Going to army but coming soon. Wait me”. He sent me this little post-it note along with some of my favourite Turkish treats in a package last week, all the way from Turkey. I’ve framed it and have it in my room, I love reading it over and over again!
364 days and counting.
livingtheturkishdream.com 
Danni, you must be so very proud of him. You will be able to Skype and call each other on his days of, hopefully one day a week. Depending on where he gets posted to and who his commander is, sometimes they are lucky, have a computer and let some of the men use it occasionally to speak to their family.) Also he will get a certain amount of leave during his year in National Service ( it used to be 21 days, but that was if they were doing 18 months service) So maybe you can plan some holidays split into 2 or 3 separate weeks to go over and visit him, something to look forward to.
Be brave, and keep busy, it will soon pass.
Hi Jan 🙂 He won’t get a day off til a couple of months time he thinks, when he’s moved to the normal base and not just training. I hope he gets somewhere nice! I hope to go and see him, it’s just getting some solid dates, they have such a laid back attitude he’ll leave it to the last minute to tell me to book a flight lol! x
Good luck to Berkay, we should have national service here…I know it seems a long time you should count it in seasons there’s only one of each😊 all the best xx
I don’t think anywhere should have it! 😦 Very true, maybe I’ll look at it that way, 4 seasons to go lol 🙂 x
Hun i feel exactly what your going through as I had to endure the same thing when my husband went into the army for 18months. It’s hard and the only advise I can give you is take up a new hobby or start a course to make the time ho quicker 😃
The first 3months training is the hardest but after that it settles down a bit. Visit him when he has leave .Keep your chin up xxxxx
Thanks Seniz, I’ll have to think of some new hobbies before I drive myself crazy! x
You may well be very surprised how often he will be able to call depending on his base. volkan went after training and done his remaining time in bodrum and was practically able to call me when he wanted and I could call him too and he would get 1 day off nearly every week. I remember one night I spoke to him for well over 2 hrs lol. fingers crossed after training he gets a decent place and able to speak very often as I think it makes the time go in so much easier.x
Hope so Erin, he’s called once a day everyday so far for about 30seconds – a minute, not long but enough to say hi and know he’s ok 🙂 Looking forward to berkay getting days off once he starts his proper service and not just training. x
Thinking of you Danni, each day is one nearer to him coming out, keep yr mind occupied and enjoy the calls u get, Be proud of your man, enjoy this time apart to let your love and respect for each other to grow stronger and deeper. x x x
Yes, one day closer, still a lot to go though! x
Feeling for you Danni I am sure the time will pass quickly keep busy and the time will fly. Best wishes to you both lots of love Carol
Thanks Carol, hope so x
How proud you must be Danni,a year in a lifetime is a drop in the ocean,keep busy hun,it will fly by. If. You feel the need to moan feel free to moan to us,we have all followed your life the ups and downs we have laughed and cried with you so I’m sure none of your followers on your blog, myself included will mind if ou have a little moan now and again.
Lots of love Morgan x x.
Thanks Morgan 🙂
Keep your chin up Danni it will soon pass and your love for each other will be so much stronger xx
Thanks Jill. x
Good luck to you both Danni, I no what your feeling, I’m currently on about 45 days left to go, it is possible but I won’t lie, it’s very hard! Mine borrows his friends phones and pops on Facebook for a chat quite often and I remember when he first started I use to have my “Turkish phone” glued to my hand 24/7! Lol if you ever need to chat, don’t hesitate xx
Aww thanks, much appreciated 🙂 45 days, exciting! x
I hope the time your both apart goes quickly, thinking of you both. Just keep thinking how amazing your future will be once this is out of the way xx
Thanks Sophie, I hope so too. x
It seems to be going quick Danni! I’m lucky in that my partner who lives in Fethiye too did his a couple of years ago before I even met him in Cyprus. Some of the guys being sent to these terrible places now is scary!! You’re holding up so well Danni, I don’t know how you do it. Well done x
Its not going quickly for me lol 😦 Aww yes wish Berkay had done it before we met too. X
Re read this post again as my boyfriend went into the army wednesday and this is down to the last letter EXACTLY how I am feeling. Love reading your updates canim, and seeing how positive you are about it all. 363 days to go
Oh, sad that you’re going through it too but glad to know im not alone and that you can relate! 80 something for me i think! x