When we first found out the date Berkay was going to the army and me back to the UK, we worried about where Boncuk would go. Her coming here wasn’t an option, even though I tried to convince my family to have her, so she stayed with our friends in Fethiye for the first 2 months, but I didn’t 100% trust them with her as they have young babies and a rented house which meant it was always uncertain whether they’d be able to carry on looking after her. When Berkay had his holiday in April and I joined him for a week, we got her and took her to Berkay’s family in their village in Denizli. I was worried about leaving her there too, as although they have farm animals, cows, sheep, goats, chickens and a dog themselves, they’re very much seen as ‘just animals’ and not fussed, loved or seen as part of the family. When we were there Berkay’s brother saw how much we loved her and fussed her and I gave him his orders to look after her, and we left confident that he would.
Now, 6 months later – I’m always nagging Berkay’s brother for photos of her. I must drive him absolutely crazy. He tells me she loves him and always jumps up bright eyed and bushy tailed when she sees him, and his blurry photos of her mid-air jump seem to back that up! Last week he sent me the cutest photos that made me smile, just look at that gorgeous little face of hers. She’s such a pretty doggy.
This week Berkay received his army start date – 4th February. That means there’s no more putting it off, in 11 days time he’ll be starting his 12 month national service. He’s been given Izmir as his training base, he’ll stay there for the first 3 ish weeks working in ‘transportation’ and then where he’s going after that we’re not sure.
He’s going to his family’s village on Saturday and will stay there until 4th Feb. Its tradition for friends, family (and pretty much every single person in the village) to visit the men before they go to the army and give them a small amount of money, they also usually have a ceremony in the town centre for all the men going to do their service as they have 3-4 intakes a year. I went to the ceremony when one of Berkay’s brothers went to the army, it was way out of my comfort zone, all the men on the outside of the square, all the men in the middle saying a prayer and going up and shaking the hands of the men about to join the army.. followed by everyone driving around in cars with huge Turkish flags draped over them and beeping their horns as they drive around the streets. Madness, passionate and very patriotic, I suppose it’s an exciting time for them, going to do their national service is a rite of passage for Turkish men, something everyone has to do.
Obviously Berkay going in the army means we needed to find a new home for Boncuk for a year, the plan was for her to go to Berkay’s family in the village, but when his dad couldn’t come and pick them up in his truck due to work, it meant we had no way of transporting Boncuk for the 4-5 hour journey – if only the buses allowed dogs on board! I had a last minute panic about where she’d go but luckily Berkay got permission from our friends (and their landlord) to allow her to stay in their garden. They’re our best friends out there, the ones I’ve mentioned previously with the twin babies, and I’m confident she’ll be looked after well. I just hope their own circumstances don’t change, because whilst I’m sure they’ll grow to love her, they won’t ever be as attached to her as we are!
After one last walk along Calis beach together, Berkay packed up the dog kennel and transported her the 20 minute journey to her new home… seeing her kennel all loaded up made me really sad but Berkay spoke with me on FaceTime afterwards and showed me Boncuk settled in her new home and she seemed happy enough. She had already made friends with the man looking after her as he’d given her a few plates of food and if there’s a sure way to win Boncuk’s heart its through a bowl of food or a game of fetch!
I feel so sorry for Boncuk, she has no idea that she won’t see Berkay for a long time, and she is probably already wondering where I disappeared to, I hope she doesn’t think we’ve abandoned her, if I could have her here in the UK with me I would! She always looks so happy when she’s with Berkay. I also feel really sad for her that she’s going from having free reign of the hotel all winter, to being tied up in the garden.. but she’ll be safe, fed, watered and have shelter and that’s a lot more than a lot of the dogs out there have. At least we know where she is, and I can contact her new ‘foster family’ on Facebook to check how she’s doing and get photo updates.
We woke up on our last day in the village and knew we were going to be busy – we planned to leave the village at 12pm and travel to the nearest city center to visit more of Berkay’s relatives. The previous day Berkay’s dad had announced that since all the family was going to be together (including me, Berkay and both his brothers), something that happens very rarely, he was going to kill one of the animals from his garden so that we could all have a big family BBQ.
By the time we had woken up, had a shower and packed our bags ready to go, it was 10 o clock and Berkay’s grandad had just arrived to do the honors. I walked over to him to say hello with the traditional hand/head kiss and he seemed impressed by this, even more so when he said ‘nasilsin?’ and I answered in Turkish. There wasn’t much time to sit around and talk and we all headed out to the garden. I was walking around having one last look at all the animals and became friends with a goat, I was talking to him (yes…talking…) and he was licking my hand, it was all very sweet. Little did I know, that an hour later I’d be eating this goat for dinner.
Just 10 minutes after my encounter with the goat, Berkay’s brother walked into it’s little pen and led it around to the side of the house where they had been digging a hole. I knew what this meant, the poor goat was the chosen one.
I’m not sure what possessed me, but after giving him one last little stroke, I stood and watched as they removed it’s collar, laid it down with it’s head over the hole in the ground and tied it’s legs together. The goat didn’t protest at all, I guess it knew what was coming as much as the rest of us. Berkay’s grandad slit the goat’s neck, the blood drained out into the hole and that was that. Over in minutes. Quick, calm and as a little suffering to the goat as possible.
The worst part for me came after, was watching his grandad strip down a piece of skin from the goats ankle and blow air (from his own mouth…) into it, blowing the poor goat up like a balloon. I wasn’t entirely sure of the purpose of this, but I researched online and it says it makes it easier to skin them by doing this first. At this point I decided I didn’t want to watch anymore, and wandered back to the other animals instead, one of the sheep had actually escaped the pen it was in and was actually stood watching what they were doing to the goat… I wonder if it actually understood what was going on though.
I went with Berkay in the car to pick up his cousin and her daughter, who were coming back to the family house to enjoy the BBQ with the rest of us. It was a 20 minute drive and by the time we got back, the goat had been fully skinned and its meat was now lying on trays being chopped up into pieces. Including it’s head, eye, brain, intestines, liver and other organs. Bleugh. The family will probably make soup and other dishes out of these parts, they certainly don’t waste any edible parts – they even gave their dog the goats four raw hooves.
We all sat down to eat the BBQ, which included the lovely çintar mushrooms we’d found the day before, and it was really delicious. Of course I felt sorry for the poor animal we were eating, but I’m not vegetarian and eat alot of meat. We don’t usually think about where our food comes from because it’s all cleaned, neatly packaged and sold on supermarket shelves, we take it for granted and don’t consider where it actually comes from, so it’s definitely interesting, although a little disturbing, to see the process from furry animal in the garden to lump of cooked meat on your plate.
After eating, it was time to say our goodbyes. Berkay’s step-mum cried when we were going and gave us both big hugs. She is really sweet, she sent us home with a massive bag of onions, spinach, spring onions, nuts, butter, chicken and leftover goat, all things grown on their farm! I really, surprisingly enjoyed our time in the village, and I really didn’t expect to. It was just so peaceful there, so relaxing and it felt so far away from everything else, no worries, no thinking about anything.
us with Berkay’s stepmum.
When I woke up the morning after we arrived in the village and looked out of the window, I won’t lie, I definitely thought ‘what on earth am I doing here?’ – it was the first time I’d seen the place in daylight (at least since I’d visited 3 years ago..) and to someone not used to living this way, it was quite a shock to the system.
The room we were sleeping in was now freezing as the soba had been turned off all night, so as soon as we woke up we bundled into the living room with the rest of the household and sat around their recently lit soba, there’s something very cosy about the soba, it reminds me of Christmas with everyone sitting around the fire in their pajamas. We weren’t up for long when Berkay’s aunt walked in and started making breakfast right away, as I mentioned previously she’s kind of taken the role of housekeeper on now that Berkay’s mum is sick.
She came out with a tray of breakfast foods, spicy Turkish sausage (sucuk), tomatoes, olives, boiled eggs and some sort of lentil dish which was lovely to dip the bread in! Of course this was all washed down with a few glasses of Turkish tea. While we were eating Berkay’s brother had a phonecall that the daily village delivery of coal had arrived and said that he and Berkay could go an unload it all for some cash. I could have waited in the house with Berkay’s mum and aunt, but I knew that when Berkay said ‘we’ll only be gone 2 hours’ he was talking Turkish time, and I learnt a long time ago that Turkish time means add on at least 2 hours more to everything they say, so I decided to go with them. I had a quick shower, which was much like having a shower at our own house, no hot water from the solar panels and no electric shower meant it was a boiled water from the stove and a jug job – no complaints from me as I’m definitely used to that by now!
We drove to the village centre and as it was freezing cold outside and the boys had work to do, I sat in the warm car watching them and being nosey at the surroundings. I wanted to have a walk around the town, but I would undoubtedly be the only woman down there, so I thought I’d feel a little uncomfortable and decided against it. Instead I sat in the car with my laptop writing a couple of blog posts. I’d look up every so often and see Berkay pushing a heavy wheelbarrow full of sacks of coal into the warehouse while his brother and a friend were on the truck moving the thousands of sacks into his reach. It definitely looked like hard work, and the fact they were sweating when it was a mere 6 oc outside said it all. They briefly stopped for lunch and we all shared some pide, which was delicious. The boys stunk and were covered in black dust from the coal, but eventually 4 hours after they had started their ‘just two hours’ job (*cough*… Turkish time…) they unloaded the last sack and off the truck drove back to wherever it came from. Berkay got 60tl for his effort, which is very good money for just a few hours work, he’d been working here in Calis recently earning 20tl for a 12 hour day! It’s so typical of Berkay to be working during his little holiday, he hates sitting around doing nothing.
When we arrived back at the village house it was around 2pm and more of Berkay’s family had arrived to visit him, his uncle, aunt, cousins and even second cousins were all there to greet us. Berkay’s other aunt had once again been preparing a meal and came out with a huge tray of food for everyone present. We all gathered on the floor, sat around the tray and tucked in – this time it was salad, kuru fasulye, bulgur rice, dried meat and onion and a huge bowl of garlicky yogurt to dip bread into. After our pide we weren’t really hungry but know they get offended if you decline food, no matter how politely, so we ended up eating some anyway.
After an hour or two of more chatting and cay drinking, the guests left, Berkay’s mum had a nap, his dad was at work, his brother was busy with the animals and we had some time to ourselves. We had a quick look around their garden and farm area behind the family home, I’d been dying to see the animals ever since we arrived. I love animals and love the idea of having a farm, although I’d be rubbish at it as I’d never be able to bring myself to kill them for meat or sell them, I’d get far too attached. Berkay’s family has a lot of animals – sheep, cows, goats, chickens, turkeys and a dog. Berkay’s dad wakes up at 6am every morning to milk the cows and they use the milk for drinking and for making butter. They have a baby cow which is only a week or two old, they still feed it with a bottle! It was so cute and so fluffy, I stepped into the cow shed and managed to stroke it – I love this photo of it trying to lick my hand – what an action shot! They also have one lamb at the moment, just look how in love with it Berkay was.
While we were walking around I couldn’t help but think how beautiful and picturesque the scenery was – so much countryside, farms and green hills as far as the eye could see.
Since we had some time to ourselves, Berkay said he wanted to take me for a drive so that he could show me the house he has born in and a few other important places for him around the village. He kept pointing out things his Grandad had made and built, trees Berkay himself had planted as a child with his nan and telling me stories of the things he had done with them. He always speaks highly of his grandparents, they raised him as a baby as his mother and dad abandoned him when he was only 28 days old, he’s still not seen his mother since and knows nothing about her, and although he is on speaking terms with his dad, he definitely had a stronger bond with his grandparents, who have both now passed away, he showed me the cemetery they’re both in too.
He drove us up to Esentepe just as the sun started to go down and we got out to take a photo of the beautiful scenery – it was pretty to look at but it was freezing cold, I ended up wearing my hoodie and Berkay’s thick leather jacket on top! The sun was just starting to go down but before it did Berkay said he wanted to wander through the trees and try and find some çintar mushrooms – special wild mushrooms that are a seasonal delicacy here in the south west of Turkey. A few minutes after starting searching I heard him shout “Danni, come here, I found one!” he was so excited.
He’s definitely the expert at finding them, he knew how to spot them under a pile of twigs and I was just walking around aimlessly not really knowing what I was looking for… I found a lot of ‘normal’ mushrooms, but no çintar ones, until I spotted a giant orange thing sticking out of the ground.. “look how big this one is…” I said, and then Berkay informed me it was exactly what we were looking for. I was very proud of our little mushroom stash, you’ve heard of the saying “bringing home the bacon”, well we were definitely “bringing home the mushrooms” and we took them all back to Berkay’s family ready to eat on the BBQ the next day.
After all the mushroom picking, food eating and tea drinking, we were exhausted and settled back in the house for the evening. I decided to change my outfit to fit in a bit more and put on my comfy ‘village’ flowery baggy pants. We ended up going to Berkay’s aunts house with his brothers and played OKEY, ate more sunflower seeds and drunk more tea… I was starting to think I’d end up looking like a glass of tea if I drank anymore…
I’ve been living here for nearly 4 months now, how did the time go so quickly?! Last year I wrote a post about our old apartment (click HERE to read that) and I thought I’d do the same for this one. If you’re nosey, you’ll enjoy it, and if nothing else it’s nice for me to look back on later on! (:
We rent and live in a fairly typical Turkish apartment, we pay 550tl a month (roughly £160 at today’s rate), it’s nothing special and I think we are definitely paying a little too much rent for what it is, but I guess what we really pay for is location.
Our last apartment was a 20 minute walk to any other civilisation, no shops, no bus route, just a farm and our neighbours. This time we’re living near the sea, about 150 meters and less than a minutes walk to the beach, which I like. Although I loved living further out in Calis away from the busy parts and hotels, I did feel a little isolated. I never went out without Berkay as I didn’t like walking down the busy main road that ran past the house (it’s the main road to Calis from Dalaman so it was always very busy and difficult to cross). Now I’m able to leave the house, walk along the seafront, go to our friends house or even just walk 10 seconds and go to the corner shop for bread instead of the 20 minute one way walk previously. We’re at the quieter end of Calis just behind Guven’s restaurant so we still avoid a lot of the noise, it’s really the best of both worlds.
Our apartment is in a block of 10, and most of my neighbours are Turkish. It was 2 and a half months before I realised that one of my neighbours was actually English, I was wondering why I could hear English music and TV shows and one day it suddenly clicked! I’ve since found out that I have another English neighbour as well, but although I’ve been here 4 months and they live directly underneath me, I’ve not spoken a word to either of them!
Our apartment only has one bedroom, it’s fairly small but has massive wardrobes which we never had in our old house, so that’s a big bonus. It’s a very basic bedroom, wardrobe, chest of drawers, bed, mirror and fan. This fan has been on constantly since we moved in, the poor thing gave up recently so we had to buy a new one! We haven’t been sleeping with a duvet, just my blanket although we have pulled the duvet out of the cupboard this week as it’s been getting chilly! You may notice I’m a bit of a big kid, my blanket has Tinkerbell on it and I have a little soft toy army! I’m a sucker for teddy bears and soft toys, see that frog on my pillow? I can’t sleep without him!
Next to the bedroom is the bathroom/wetroom. I’ve had an argument with this room recently after slipping on the floor after a shower and badly bruising my elbow and grazing my foot and wrist! These things are so dangerous but I guess it’s much cheaper to have a wet room rather than installing a shower cubicle, and having a bath is definitely rare in Turkish houses, if you’ve got one of those, you know you’re doing well!
Further down the hallway is the kitchen, which is really tiny. Our landlord got us a new fridge after we moved in and when they brought it upstairs I was amazed it actually fit in, it takes up half the width of the room! It’s a basic kitchen, there are no fancy appliances, no dishwasher, no oven, no microwave, just 3 gas rings, a mini oven and an ancient washing machine. Surprisingly we bought the current gas bottle when we first move here and haven’t replaced it yet, one day I know I’m going to be in the middle of cooking dinner and it will run out… all part of the fun of living here (; Note the cupboards, these are the infamous ‘Turkish cupboards’ that are part of everyone’s houses..well maybe not everyone’s, but they are definitely very common, must be the cheapest version they sell!
The only other room in the apartment is the living room, where I spend every evening glued to my laptop and writing my blog! This room has an abundance of chairs as you may notice, two 3-seater sofas and 4 armchairs, and there were also 5 wooden chairs in here but we managed to give them back to the landlord. Seriously, who needs that many chairs, considering it’s a one bedroom apartment? I guess it’s for those sociable Turkish people who like to have the world and it’s mother around for cay everynight, we however, are not those type of people…
We actually have a TV in this house, which Berkay is very grateful for! He’d watch it every waking hour if he could, it drives me mad, Turkish ‘soaps’ are so bad, they make Eastenders look like an Oscar winning film! My favourite thing in the room is the cabinet in the corner with a few of our photos and Berkay’s diploma proudly displayed in it.
The thing I hate most about this room is that rug on the floor…. it’ lime green with an orange and purple clown on it… who buys these things? I’m not afraid of clowns and this one is quite cute, but it still creeps me out a little, I considered rolling it up and putting it out of sight but I’m a little too afraid of it… so it just sits there, at least it’s unique I suppose, I bet you’ve never seen a rug like this before?
We have two small balconies, one off the bedroom which we only use for drying clothes outside, and one off the living room which is where we sit and eat or play backgammon, our favourite things to do (; It’s nice out there, but it’s on a street where there are two hotels and a shop, so there are usually people or cars driving past which means it’s not very private. I love sitting out there being nosey though, I used to sit there every evening during Ramadan and listen for the call to prayer and cannon fire at sundown, lovely.
That’s all, it’s nothing special but it is our home, for now at least. When I first moved in here, I always wanted to be out and about doing something, I didn’t want to be sat at home. I realised that the reason I didn’t want to be inside too often was because I didn’t want to get too attached to this house, like our last one, as it’s just too heartbreaking when I have to leave it and go back to England. After 4 months, it was inevitable that this house would feel like home and now there’s nothing I like more than sitting on the balcony with Berkay playing backgammon and watching the world go by… Oh well, only another 5-6 weeks here then back to England for the foreseeable future… but for now, this is home.
So, I’ve been here in Turkey for 5 weeks now, where on earth has the time gone?
It’s been a while since I done a personal thoughts & feelings post, I’ve been focusing more on writing about days out and things to do and see. When I started this blog it was just going to be something personal, a kind of diary to look back on, but as time has gone on, more and more people read and as grateful as I am for the nearly 160,000 views I have, I’m less comfortable with sharing now, you can’t trust anyone on the internet and writing posts sharing personal thoughts and feelings gives people a lot of information to judge you on.
I do want to be as honest and as real as possible though. That being said, I thought it was time to do a post about how I’ve settled back into life here in Turkey and what I’m missing about England.
The first night I was here alone as Berkay had to work, and it hit me that I’d be spending a lot of my time alone again, I started to question whether I’d done the right thing and that maybe the grass is always greener on the other side… I also didn’t feel as ‘safe’ in this house, it’s much more central than our old one and there are more people around, it’s not as private.
The first few weeks I was here, I didn’t want to be in the house much, I was always bugging Berkay so we could go out and do something, walking, swimming, pointless trips to Fethiye… I think I wanted to spend as little time as possible in our house so that I didn’t get attached again, if it feels like home it’ll be harder to leave…
Well after being here 5 weeks I’m well and truly settled, our house DOES feel like home, there’s nothing I like more than sitting on the balcony with Berkay after dinner and just playing backgammon or watching a film. It’s just like the old days. I feel totally safe in our house and love it here. It took some getting used to living in a basic house again, no bath, no walk in shower, just a wet room with a tap and shower on the wall that makes the entire room and toilet seat soaking wet after each use! Not being able to flush the toilet paper took some getting use to again too!
I honestly do not miss England. I miss my family sometimes obviously, but I speak to my mum and grandparents everyday on Facetime without fail. I miss my little sister the most because we’re so close, no matter my mood she always cheers me up – I’ve been facetiming with Dad and seeing her, she always says ‘are you coming home yet Dan’ or mentions something about me coming back so I think she misses me too (:
I thought I might miss English food, a nice roast dinner, Cadbury’s chocolate, Monster Munch, ham sandwiches but I don’t really – although I am now drooling at the thought of all of the aforementioned! I love a lot of Turkish food so it doesn’t bother me much – perhaps the only thing I do miss is being able to chuck a ready made jar of sauce on the pasta or get some easy to cook, ready flavored Birdseye chicken out of the freezer. Everything has to be made from scratch – not much frozen food exists here!
I do not miss work at all, but I do miss having structure to my days. Anyone who knows me knows I have to have plans, I have to know what I’m doing and at what time, I’m not very spontaneous!
I’ve fallen into the habit of adapting to Berkay’s work/sleep pattern again. He works from 8pm – 9am everyday and sleeps either during the morning or the afternoon. I’ve started following that and not sleeping all night which is really bad – I’m still awake the same amount of time as anyone else, just all night instead of all day, which sometimes is a blessing as I don’t feel the unbearable heat. I’m still reliant on Berkay most of the time, when I lived here before I never went out without him. This time I walk the dog on my own and walk along Calis seafront a couple of times a week when he’s gone to work and just sit on the beach alone and watch the sunset. I love that.
All in all, I’ve settled back in and am still determined to make the most of every minute here. On Tuesday 8th Berkay and I have been together for 4 years. That’s really crazy, it seems like just yesterday we met, but then again sometimes it feels like we’ve been together so much longer, we’re like an old married couple, yet we’re not old and we’re not married. (;
I cannot believe it’s July already, how scary. More than half way through the year and I only have a few more months in Turkey… it’s not going to be any easier leaving this time than the last.
I’ll leave you with a few photos of the beautiful sunsets I witnessed in Calis last week. ❤
So, I’ve been back in Turkey for 3 days now and still haven’t had a chance to post about it yet!
I got up at 6am on Monday morning, finished packing last minute things, said my goodbye’s and got in the car with Dad and Mum who took me to the airport. My flight was at 11.20am, and we arrived at the airport around 3 hours before. There was a huge queue of people waiting to check in, but I finally got to the check-in desk and waved my suitcase off down the baggage ramp, I was worried it was going to be too heavy and over my 20kg allowance, but luckily it was bang on 20kg, good judgment eh? (:
We went up the escalators to departures and that’s where I had to leave Mum and Dad and go through security. After faffing around having to unpack my entire hand luggage so they could scan my laptop, and take my shoes off, I eventually made it through and came out the other side where I looked back and saw Mum and Dad still waving at me ❤ Later on I realised she’d written a Facebook status about that moment : “Took Dan to airport this morning with her Dad…. waved her off (once again) as she heads back to Turkey & Berkay…..all smiles, I can see her smiley face as she waved to us at departures…..priceless….Love you BIG as the Sky” – sweet. (:
After getting through the maze that is Gatwick South’s duty free shop leading to the main departure hall, I had a look around, sat down and started to get excited. It took ages for the gate information to pop up on the screen, so I was getting rather impatient! Once the number showed up and I took the long walk to the departure gate, it all became rather real as I could see my plane outside the window, eeeek!
We didn’t have to wait very long after that, almost as soon as I got to the gate people began boarding. I was in row 14 so I was the second from last lot of passengers to board. I flew with Pegasus (for the first time!) so when I stepped on the plane all I could see were Turkish signs, and hear the stewards speaking Turkish amongst themselves. “Welcome” one air steward said to everyone else boarding, then he turned to me and said “hosgeldin!” (that’s Turkish for Welcome) – he must’ve thought I was Turkish, so that made me smile. I found my seat, sat down, got comfortable with my blanket out and my cow slippers on, and waited for take off.
We took off 40 minutes late, but the flight was only due to be 3hours and 30 minutes (instead of around 4) due to tail wind so I didn’t mind! One thing I really loved about Pegasus was the fact they had little tv screens on board showing exactly where we were in the air, the altitude, which countries we were flying over and how long left until arrival at our destination.
After a bumpy end to the flight which meant having our seat belts fastened for 40 minutes – we landed safe and sound at Dalaman. I went through passport control, who didn’t even look at my evisa (honestly, I’ve never been through immigration so quick!) and went downstairs to locate my baggage.. Around the carousel it came, and off I went to find my transfer bus. I wish Berkay was there to meet me but it would have been to expensive to hire or borrow a friends car as the petrol is just so expensive out here. Instead I booked the transfer bus which only cost me £8. It was ready waiting for me when I arrived and only took 45minutes to get to Calis. I can’t tell you how excited I was when I realised we were getting close. Around 7pm, the driver turned off down the road Berkay’s hotel is and stopped outside, where Berkay was waiting with Boncuk for me. Off I hopped and they both gave me a welcome hug!
After saying Hello to them both, we put Boncuk back in her kennel and headed off to my new house, which I was excited and nervous to see. I like the house, it’s in a much more convenient location than the last one, although that one will always be more special to me as it was my first house away from England. I’ll do a post about my new house in the next few days if anyone is interested to see it! (:
We quickly got the internet set up and eventually managed to get it working so that I could Facetime family and let them known I’d arrived. By the time all this was done it was around 8pm and Berkay had arranged to go into work an hour later than usual at 9pm – we had no food in the house at all, so decided to go out to a restaurant along the sea front for something to eat instead. We went to Letoon hotel, which I knew had a new rooftop restaurant which looked really good. The view from there was lovely. It was cold though. The weather has been so weird since I’ve been here, wet, cloudy and windy. Honestly it was warmer in England the day before I left! Crazy.
We ate our dinner in record time, and got back home just after 9pm. Berkay made sure I got home OK then went straight out to work. Might as well get used to those long working hours alone again!
I was tired but didn’t want to go to bed, so spent a couple of hours unpacking everything. The house has definitely been Danni-ed now. Nail varnish bottles now surround the bedroom mirror and my two favourite bears sit on the bed. (:
After all that travelling and packing, I went to bed around 2am, and knew I had to be up early ready to go to Fethiye market. A post about that will follow tomorrow! ❤
It’s good to be home, but it will take some getting used to again!
After spending 40 minutes on hold to the passport office in Durham last week, at 04.30 Sunday morning I got an email from them saying my passport had been approved and sent for printing on 23rd May and that I should receive it in 4-5 working days.
At 1pm on Tuesday I heard a knock at the door, opened it and could have kissed the man! My passport had arrived! When I saw the red, shiny passport in my hand I realised it was all getting rather real!
I was starting to get worried, having left my job last week I won’t get anymore money after pay day on Friday so I was hoping I’d get my passport back and be able to go as soon as possible. I’ve earned my money, saved my money, and would rather spend it there where I’m happiest.
All along I planned to book my flight for 2nd June, but held off booking as I didn’t want to risk my passport not coming in time. It’s a good job I held off as last night when I finally did book it, it ended up being “£12 cheaper. It cost me £95, baggage included, and is with Pegasus, I’ve never flown with them before but Berkay has and says they were better than flythomascook and easyjet.
So that’s it, as of this Monday, 11am, I’ll be on that plane to Turkey (fingers crossed there’s no delays!) I’ll arrive at Dalaman at 17.30, be in Calis by 19:00 ish, and reunited with Berkay and Boncuk, well, temporarily for a few minutes until he goes to work at 8pm! Better get used to that again, an hour is always better than nothing 🙂
I’m not really organised at all, I’ve got most of the stuff I need, but haven’t started packing my case yet and I’m at my mums house for a few days. I’ll be back at dad’s on Saturday and will have just Saturday evening and Sunday to get packed and organised! I done some last minute shopping yesterday and got a hand luggage bag which is all ready to fill up, and my step mum got me a little wheely trolley bag to take to the markets out there and fill with our fruit and veg, which I thought was really sweet!
I’m really going to miss my little sister the most, we’re so close – we spent the whole day Tuesday having a pajama day watching Disney princess films, she’s always using someone else’s iPhone/iPad/iPod so I’ll be able to facetime her, no doubt she’ll be helping me by looking after all my bears and things in my bedroom while I’m away, haha!
Berkay has arranged for internet to be put in, so I should be connected within a few days and I’ll be able to keep you all updated on my blog – I’ll try my hardest to go back to posting everyday.
“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”
A few weeks ago I saw this quote pop up on my Facebook news feed. I read it and got goosebumps. It manages to take all of my feelings and squish them into two little sentences.
I have never read words more true. I am never going to feel truely at home no matter where I am, because a part of me will always be elsewhere, always be missing someone, something, wondering what is going on in the other place.
Despite how I make it sound, the decision to go back to Turkey was not an easy one. Of course I’m happy there with Berkay and Boncuk, and everything there feels like ‘home’ to me – the food, the way of life, the weird little quirks, but no matter how happy I am there, I am always wondering what the people I leave behind back home are doing, wondering what my family and friends are doing, how they are etc etc, of course their lives move on while I’m not here, and when I do come back to visit, or to live, it’s always hard to fit back in because so much has changed. When I’m back here in England and trying to fit in, all I can think about is my life in Turkey, and what I’m missing there, how much things there are changing, what Berkay’s doing, worrying how my dog is, wanting to just go out and have a little BBQ with our Turkish friends. It’s a vicious circle. It’s almost like ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’ – no matter where you are, there’s a part of you wanting something from ‘the other side’ as it’s inevitable there will always be something missing.
Some say it’s my own fault for choosing this life, for choosing to fall in love with a Turkish person instead of someone who lives around the corner from me. It’s true – this lifestyle is one that I have decided to follow, and I shall forever pay the price for that.
Do I regret it though? Absolutely not. I’m lucky to have two places I feel connected to, yet divided between. I just wish there was a way to merge them all into one cute, fluffy ball of happiness.