Calis – a warm winter’s day.

Posted on February 26, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

I have written a post before about Fethiye in winter, but everyone says it’s a been a mild one this year, not as cold or wet as usual, and judging by the photos Berkay sends me everyday, it’s starting to get warmer.

These photos were all taken on Sunday during his day off, how beautiful is Calis out of season before all the flights full of tourists start to arrive? Calis, like most resorts I assume, is like a different place in winter.

On a summers day the main promenade is full of holiday makers, enjoying a walk or making their way to the beach, cooling down in the restaurants and cafe’s with an efes and icecream, or just sitting on the wall looking out to sea. The beach is full of towels, sunbeds and sunbathers, and the restaurants are all bustling with tables and chairs lining the length of the promenade.

In winter, as you can see from the photos, it’s a different story. Peaceful empty pavements, silent empty beaches and eerie empty spaces where the restaurants are closed for winter. It’s not completely dead with tumble weeds passing by, some restaurants are open, and still fairly busy, like Nil Bar, which is popular with expats and locals all year around.

The beach is sandier in winter, perhaps because of the fierce waves bringing fresh sand and shingle to shore? But it’s also a lot messier and there is litter everywhere, unfortunately.

I used to love walking along the main seafront promenade in winter, in fact it was pretty much the online time I ever did, unless my family were visiting. It’s a totally different atmosphere, and even more beautiful.

One of the most beautiful things, are the winter Calis Beach sunsets. Berkay had a great view from his fishing spot, didn’t he?

We’ll soon start to see the restaurants gearing up for the season, and the hotel pools start to fill again. In a month or two, the planes will start arriving and Calis will be once again transformed, it’s never really bustling and busy like the resorts of Bodrum or Marmaris, but it’s certainly a big change.

Have you ever visited the main resorts outside of the summer season? How does it compare? For the better, or for the worse?

A relaxing Sunday afternoon..

Posted on February 24, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Since Berkay changed his job, he now gets one day off a week. He does a week of nights, has Sunday off then does a week of days, then Sunday off, and back to a week of nights. Oh how I wish that was the case when I was living there!

His day’s off mean he can see his friends and go fishing for his dinner. He still has no money as he won’t be paid until March, so he is relying on his catch of the day to eat. He goes with our good friends, Serkan & Sibel, and their not-so-little anymore baby Cinar, who is adorable.

They often go to the little bays around Fethiye, this time it was buyuk samanlik koyu, which another friend of his actually owns. It’s a nice place, a bit basic, but nice in the winter and popular in the Summer with Turkish families who go there for BBQ picnic’s on Sunday’s. The view’s are lovely, you can see over to Calis and Fethiye and see all the boats going back to the harbour. The drive down to the bay is beautiful, although a little frightening as you have to drive along the cliff edge, which, if you know what Turkish driving is like, can be a little scary.

Normally I edit photos before uploading them, but these need no editing at all, as they are already perfect. Look how beautiful it is, just before sundown.

Berkay is normally quite successful at catching fish, last week he caught an Octopus. Today however, he wasn’t so lucky and didn’t catch anything, so he’s gone to bed without having any dinner. He’s at work at 7am tomorrow so he’ll sneak some breakfast from the buffet.

It was another friend’s birthday last weekend, he’s only known Berkay 2 years but is really like a dad to him. From what I’ve seen, Turkish people don’t really celebrate birthdays, but his sons bought him a cake..wish I was there to get a piece hehe (:

Despite not having money at the moment, Berkay has recently had the vet out to give Boncuk her booster injections, there are far too many ill, untreated dogs in the area that it is just not worth the risk. She’s all up to date with worming and flea treatment and injections now, so she’s a happy doggy. I can’t believe how ‘old’ she looks now, she’s lost her puppy features and that makes me sad 😦 By the time I go back in July (hopefully) I won’t have seen her for 10 months, I hope she remembers me! For now I can relax knowing she’s safe, looked after and happy 🙂

I hope everybody had a good weekend. (:

31 days, 1 hour and 18 minutes..

Posted on February 23, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Last week was probably the hardest week I’ve had since I came back to England, and I’m not entirely sure why.

I found myself spending more time crying in the office toilets, than actually sat at my desk doing work for the first half of the week, and I’m not even exaggerating.

It would be easier if there was one thing bothering me, but there’s a whole list. New job that I’m not enjoying, not getting along with people, missing Berkay, wondering when I’ll next see him after April, wondering how I’ll afford it and be able to take time off, worrying about where Boncuk is going to stay in summer… The list is endless, but I can’t go into much detail because my blog is public and there are eyes I don’t want reading it.

It’s painfully obvious I’m not happy here anyway.

On the plus side, only 4.5 weeks until Berkay is back here. To be precise, it’s exactly 31 days, 1 hour and 18 mintues til he arrives 😉

New job, visas & keeping it real.

Posted on February 16, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s been a big week this week.

I finally started back at work, been waiting for 2 months for them to sort out the contract! It’s a full time office job and only a 3 month temporary role, but hopefully they may keep me on afterwards. Not going to lie though, it’s been hard adjusting back to working life!

Starting back at work has made me feel really frustrated. Frustrated about the visa rules keeping us apart. In order to meet the income requirements for Berkay to come to the UK, I need to be earning another £2,600 a year. Without getting a second job and working all weekend also, in order to make up the difference I need over £21,000 in savings. I really don’t know where these rules came from, how does a shortfall of £2,600 equate to anything near £21k? Ironically, If I did earn the required income I’d really be no better off, travelling to 2 jobs would cost more, and the more money I earn, the more I’ll be paying my parents for rent. I’ve been feeling really down about it, I feel like I’m getting nowhere and that every penny I earn is meaningless, I can save it up, sure, but what use is money when you have nobody to spend it with?

I know it’s a long process, and I’m finally on the first step of the ladder, but it’s still frustrating. I’m impatient. Having Berkay so far away and seeing him for a couple of minutes on Skype everyday isn’t enough. How can we cope like this for years? It’s seriously depressing me. ‘Keep positive’ everyone says, but knowing we have another 2 years+, at the very least, of living like this is so frustrating and upsetting.

I’m also feeling jealous of other people, and I know I really shouldn’t. Jealous of people who only spend a few weeks apart at a time. Jealous of people who have their husbands here for months at a time on a visit visa and wondering why that’s just not possible for us. In theory, Berkay could have stayed here for 6 months, that would be wonderful, but then there’s our dog Boncuk to think about, and he needs to be earning money, my parents wouldn’t let him stay with us for free, so we couldn’t afford that either. I find myself becoming more jealous of these people everyday, and more and more frustrated that I can never see us being in the same position as them. Berkay works bloody hard in Turkey, 12-15 hour days for less than £250 a month, yet he’s never in a better position. I don’t know what else he can do?

‘Don’t pay for his flight, make him pay for something and save’ my Dad says. He has no idea. The cost of living in Turkey is cheaper than the UK, yes, but not that much cheaper that makes living on £250 a month possible. Thank God Berkay doesn’t have to pay rent, water, or electricity currently. But he still has phone bills, travel costs, food costs, he still has to eat, and so does Boncuk. He has debt to pay off. He hasn’t even had a full months wages since October. Roll on summer when he’ll be earning more money.

I’m finding myself getting frustrated with people telling me they know how I feel, when they really don’t. All they’ve ever known is seeing their partner once every 3 months for a week, whereas I’ve lived there for 2.5 years, woke up next to him, slept next to him, ate meals with him.. Living 2.5 years of your life seeing each other every single day, then going to see them once every 3 months is just not the same.

People are being supportive, some tell me I should get back on a plane to Turkey… ~~as if I need any convincing 😉 ,~~ others tell me I’m doing the right thing and that we’ll get there eventually. Neither really make me feel better. I just feel stuck. There is no easy way out. No quick fix.

I seem to have caused quite a bit of controversy in the past couple of days by airing my feelings on the internet, but one of the reasons I started this blog was to have a space for my own thoughts, so apologies if It’s not always happy, rainbows and butterflies. I say what I mean, and mean what I say, I try to keep it real, It wouldn’t be a true representation of my life if I only wrote the positive things on here. I welcome all comments, even if it’s not always what I want to hear!

I only hope it will be worth all the tears and time apart in the end. ❤

Quote : Art Williams.

Saklikent gorge

Posted on February 11, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Sometimes when abroad, it’s nice to stray away from the beach and pool for a few hours and see some of the natural beauty of the country you’re visiting.

If you’re in the Fethiye or Kalkan/Patara area, a visit to Sakilikent gorge is the perfect opportunity to do just that.

The gorge is about an hour from Fethiye, easily accessible by car or by one of the many tourist buses/jeep safari’s that go there. We’ve been twice and loved it, although it can be a little scary..the first time we went with my mum, who didn’t enjoy the experience in the slightest.

The gorge is 300m deep and 18km long, one of the deepest in the world, but only 4km of it is walkable. You can only enter it in the summer, between April and October, as in the winter, all the snow from the mountains means the flow of water is too strong, too deep and too dangerous.

When you first arrive, you have to pay an entrance fee, last year it was around 5tl, but it can change each year. Before you enter, make sure anything you have is secure and made waterproof… cameras, phones, cigarettes, keys.. whatever you have in your pockets will get wet. It’s also wise to bring a paif of sea shoes with you, or you can hire some jelly shoes from a stall opposite the entrance, DO NOT wear flip flops or shoes that fall off, because they can and they will. The amount of solitary shoes we saw flowing down the gorge was amusing…

A solitary flip flip belonging to someone very unfortunate..

Once you’ve paid the fee and have entered, you’re greeted with a very old, unsturdy looking bridge, complete with missing pieces and dodgy nails, high up over deep, fast flowing water…crossing this bridge is the easiest part!

The old bridge suspended above the water is the only way to enter the gorge.

Once you’ve crossed that, you get a seating area, benches, trees, a small cafe and very pretty looking rocks with the water flowing over them. The sound of the water is impressive! A lot of people only enter the gorge to sit here, because it is so beautiful and cool. The water is freezing, the spray it creates is cooling and the trees provide a lot of shade, its a welcome relief to the 40+ degree temperatures outside!

If you are feeling adventurous, you can carefully make your way down the rocks to the main section of the gorge, but in order to get to the the other side and start the 4km walk, you have to cross the main fast flowing section of water. This is the difficult part, and it’s terrifying! The water is often waist height, and is so fast and so powerful. It’s also freezing… literally if it was any colder it would be ice. There is a rope attached to the rocks either side which you cling on to in order to cross, but its still difficult, definitely not recommended for older people or children, although I have seen some who managed to cross, I’ve also heard horror stories from people who haven’t been so lucky..

Us clinging on for dear life to cross the river.

Once you’ve managed to get across, hopefully without loosing a shoe, camera or your pants in the process, it becomes a more pleasant experience…temporarily. The water the other side varies in depth, but for the first km or so, it’s only ankle deep. The water is cloudy and the bed is slippery and covered in obstacles like rocks, hidden by the cloudy water. It’s advised to stay a foot behind someone in front of you, if they trip over or fall down a hole, you know to avoid that part 😉 There really is no other way of knowing..

The gorge is beautiful and impressive. In some areas there are rocks suspended above your head only by another rock.. If this gorge was in England you’d have to wear hard safety hats, straps and goodness knows what else. At the end of the 4km apparently there is a waterfall, although we’ve never made it that far, as the further in you get, the more difficult it is. There are big boulders to climb and manovue around, big dips down, steep steps up and fast flowing water knocking you off your feet. I dont know anyone who has managed to come away without at least one bruise! It really is much more fun than I’m making it sound though, the natural beauty of it all is amazing. If you have a waterproof camera, definitely take it, there are some fabulous photo’s to be taken!

Once you’ve had enough and have turned around and made the long walk back to the entrance, you step back outside and the heat hits you again, suddenly the freezing cold water doesn’t seem so bad! You can talk a slow stoll around the shops, market stalls, icecream stands etc around the riverside. On one side there is a lovely cafe/restaurant which has wooden platforms suspended over the river where you can sit and relax with an Efes or icecream to recover. There are hammocks to sit in, and pillows to sit back on. The cafe we went to had a great open buffet with trout fish or chicken and endless amounts of traditional Turkish food to chose from. Delicious and very relaxing!

It’s a very different and fun, if sometimes slightly painful, day out! 🙂

How did our cheesy, love story begin?

Posted on February 9, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

I’ve mentioned before that our relationship started as the very typical, cheesy, holiday romance story that everyone is so quick to judge, but I’ve never really gone into much detail about how we met, so here it goes!

In July 2010, me and one of my best friends decided to go on holiday, we trusted my Dad to choose the destination, and he chose Calis Beach, Fethiye. We went in July for a week, after we’d finished our A-level exams and had just left college. I was 18 years old…

The hotel we stayed in, who would have thought back then, that I’d eventually be living around the corner to here, walking past it and waving Berkay off to work there everyday for 2 years..

It started off as a normal girly holiday… until roses kept appearing on my sunbed, and outside my room door. (I can see you rolling your eyes…I told you it was a cheesy story!!) I ignored them at first, but eventually realised it was one of the waiters doing it.. you guessed it, this particular waiter was Berkay!

The view from our balcony and the pool, where a lot of time was spent spying on Berkay with my friend 😉

We hardly spoke, actually he could hardly speak English … (I can see you rolling your eyes again!) … on the last night of our holiday, he got his friend to write a note to me saying ‘Do you want to go out for a walk with me’. Going against my mum, dad and everyone else’s advice of ‘don’t go off with anyone on your own’, and risking loosing the friendship I had with my friend by leaving her alone in the hotel on the last night… I went. We went for a walk along the beach and ended up staying there until 5am, just walking back and forth. Luckily, Berkay wasn’t dangerous, and my best friend forgave me for abandoning her. I wouldn’t advise anyone to go off alone like I did though just for the record, I went against my better judgement but thank goodness I did, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have ever seen Berkay again or be who I am today…

This was the first and only photo we had together from July 2010..

The time came to go home, and of course I was devastated, we swapped numbers, msn addresses & facebook ‘friended’ each other, but honestly I didn’t expect to hear from him again, everyone knows the reputation Turkish guys have… Oh how wrong I was, even before I had got to the airport I had a text, and a couple more awaited me when I landed back in the UK.

We spoke everynight on MSN without fail, every night after his work had finished, Berkay would walk to the internet cafe and we’d talk to 3-4am. My family all thought I was crazy of course, and hoped it was all just a holiday romance.

The good old days, back in 2010 when we’d speak to each other on MSN all night, every night.

I decided I wanted to go back and visit Berkay, alone this time, and my parents very, very, very reluctantly agreed. I had strict instructions to keep in contact 24/7 and obviously they knew the hotel address I was staying in.. So, in October 2010 I went back to Turkey for a week, this time we stayed together in Remer Hotel. Although I already knew Berkay well from speaking on MSN everyday, this was our first real chance to get to know each other in person. He had learnt English really quickly, and was pretty fluent by then. I have to add, going abroad alone, flying alone, to meet someone I’d hardly spent time with in person, is very out of character for me, I’m the shyest person I know, people who have met me will probably agree.. I have no idea what came over me.. love makes you do funny things I guess! We had a great week together and done the typical tourist things, we visisted Oludeniz and done a few boat trips, including one in the pouring rain and wind, it was freezing. The most memorable thing from this whole holiday was how we both went in the hotel swimming pool in the cold, stormy rain, and had everyone looking out of their balconys cheering us on, like I said, love makes you do crazy things!

Some of the photos we took together in October 2010.

In January 2011, I decided to visit Berkay again, and did so for a week. This time I felt confident enough to stay in an apartment he was renting in the winter, instead of booking a hotel. The apartment was really bad, it certainly opened up my eyes. I also had a funny Turkish experience on the way to Fethiye from Antalya airport.. Berkay and his friend came to pick me up in his friend’s old banger car.. the fuel gauge was broken and the car kept running out of petrol…the journey should have taken 3.5 hours but ended up taking twice as long. We had another great week together, I met his friends, experienced my first ‘Turkish Picnic’ and enjoyed seeing Turkey outside of the tourist season. Saying bye to Berkay when the time came to go home this time was the hardest, I guess that’s when I knew the only option was to move to Turkey.

A couple of photos from January 2011, this was the turning point when I knew I wanted to move to Turkey.

I can’t remember how the conversation went, but I must’ve told my parents I wanted to move to Turkey, I can’t even remember their reaction, but reluctantly again, they agreed. Neither of them had ever met Berkay, none of my family had, so Mum and her partner at the time, came with me for a week when I made the big move. It was a big decision, one made so much harder as it meant leaving my 3 week old baby sister behind. On the 26th April 2011, I left the UK, packed my life into a suitcase, and moved to Turkey. Whilst there, we had a bad experience which left mum’s partner in hospital for 3 days, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as it gave Berkay a chance to prove to her how loving, kind and caring he was. He helped them so much over those few days, that she felt confident enough leaving me with him when they returned to the UK a week later.

April 2011

This is a personal favourite photo. Taken in the first few days after I moved to Turkey, me looking out to sea at Oludeniz. It reminds me how I’d entered the big wide world away from parents and the comforts of home, which were thousands of miles, and oceans away.

Berkay found us an apartment, which until September 2013, we called home. I feel like we proved everyone wrong, it’s not the typical Turkish boy/English girl story. He has now met all of my family, visited the UK 5 times, and is now as much a part of my family as the rest of us, they all love him.

The rest of my story is documented on this blog, from my last few days in Turkey, to the reasons I moved back to the UK, the difficulties to adapting to life back here, the joy at being reunited, and the sadness at being apart again..

Those were the first 3 years, lets hope there are many more to come… I will carry on blogging through all of them.
To be continued… ❤

Jobs are like buses..

Posted on February 7, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

You wait around ages for one then 3 come along at once … quite literally!!

Berkay quit his job mid January, and was struggling to find work with hotels not wanting anyone outside of the tourist season.. His luck changed last week when a hotel in Fethiye called him asking him to start the next day, he said yes, but just before he was due to start, the restuarant he was at before Christmas called him wanting him back, pay was less but they provided his transport so it worked out around the same.. he took that job and was there for 3 days when his summer boss called and asked him to start working in their sister hotel, which is open all year around. Berkay couldn’t believe his luck! He knows this boss well and works with him every summer so he knows he is guaranteed to be paid unlike last winter when he worked for 2 months without a penny being handed over..

So now Berkay is working in Vizon hotel in Fethiye’s main town centre. It’s a very Turkish hotel, it’s rare any other nationalities visit, it’s not touristy at all. He’s happy there and gets along well with the other staff who he’s known for over 7 years. I’m so pleased he finally has a job so he can start earning and saving, the best part is they’re letting him have 3 weeks holiday to come back to the UK in March/April so he has a guaranteed job when he returns too. Phew.

It’s not just Berkay that’s been having luck on the job front, I finally have a start date for the job I’ve been promised since the beginning of January, I’m starting on Monday and pleased that this is the first step of a very, very long journey towards getting Berkay here for good ~~hopefully.~~

In other news… My little doggy Boncuk has a boyfriend! His name is Maxi and he lives near where Berkay stays. Maxi and Boncuk used to ‘talk’ to each other through the gate, and when Berkay opened it to let him in the other day, they shared a little kiss 😉

Look how happy my fur baby looks ❤

I’m missing Turkey a lot lately, but Berkay is keeping me updated with photos.
7 weeks time and he will be back here! Can’t wait.

and the winner is…

Posted on February 1, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

The winner of the little giveaway is….

Pauline!

Congratulations Pauline (no last name provided!) I have sent an email to the email address given when you commented 🙂 Please reply with your address so I can get it sent out to you on Monday.

All 51 names were entered into this random name picker, so it was all decided fairly.

Sorry to everyone else, but thanks for entering and reading! 🙂 If you’re interested, I found the book on amazon here for cheaper than I actually paid for this one… I have ordered one for myself, it’s fab! 🙂

Looking to do another giveaway once I reach 100,000 views, I have a few ideas! 😉

xxx