Moving back to Turkey!?

Since the last post I wrote, a lot has changed. I had big decisions to make over bank holiday weekend, and now that I’ve made up my mind and informed everyone in ‘real life’, I can share here! So here it is…..

I’m moving back to Turkey!

… temporarily at least.

Since Berkay came here in April I realised how unhappy I really am here – I don’t know what it was but something just snapped and changed my mind. The plan was to stay here and save until after Berkay has finished his army service, which he’s supposed to be doing in February next year, but now I’ve decided to go out there for the summer to spend as much time with him as possible before he goes. I’m hoping to go at the beginning of June til November.

Last Monday I told my manager I was leaving. I have been working on a 3 month temporary contract, and she told me they were going to extend it, but I told her my plans and explained as I didn’t want her to think I was just giving up my job for a 6 month holiday or that I was unreliable.  As it happens she said they were impressed with me and to keep in contact in case they have anything available when I come back – so here’s hoping!

There’s a lot to plan before I go – I haven’t even booked a flight yet but can’t because I’m waiting on my passport to arrive – my old one got ripped! We also need to find a house – Berkay has been living in the hotel and we can’t stay there so he’s been wandering the streets door to door to find one. He’s had no luck. Now it’s the summer season it’s proving really difficult to find a house that isn’t charging hundreds daily, we need one in Calis as that’s where Berkay will work, the other issue is that we need one that is furnished as we own nothing of our own,  and not forgetting we need somewhere that has a garden so that Boncuk can stay. Our previous apartment was 350tl a month which was amazing, but we’re willing to pay up to 500-600tl now, if anyone knows of anywhere in Calis?! It’s proving difficult.

I’m having mixed emotions about going back- of course I’m really looking forward to it, I miss life there, and I can’t wait to see Berkay and Boncuk everyday, but at the same time, I know it’s not going to be like before, because I won’t be living there for long, I’ll know the days are numbered, and I won’t be in OUR house as it’s been rented to someone else. A part of me just wants back those old days – but I guess those are gone forever. Going back is going to be so strange!

I’m not feeling as excited as I should about going back because of the comments people have been making. Apparently going back for 6 months means I am ‘ruining’ my life and subjecting myself to an ‘existence not a life’. It’s always the people you least expect to make those hurtful comments. Apparently it’s also common knowledge that I am going only ‘to avoid working for a living’ because I think the world owes me something – also not true. I’ve worked, I saved, I’m going with the money I have. I’m not asking for help financially from anyone.  Sure, I’ve given up my job which is a silly thing to do the way things are at the moment – but I didn’t do it just to get a holiday. It’s not going to be a holiday at all – I’m just going to spend time with Berkay, in the two and a half years I lived there I never lived like a tourist, and won’t, I don’t want to be judged as one of those girls who just goes for the season to party hard – that’s not me at all. When Berkay goes in the army, I won’t see him for a year unless he gets leave at a time when I’m able to visit for a week. The way I see it is if I don’t go now, I may spend that year regretting it and wishing I’d spent as much time with him as possible. Maybe in a year’s time I may regret going and giving up my job, but I have the rest of my life to do that, I only have one chance to go before he goes into the army, so that’s what I’m doing.

I’m not really sure why I feel like I have to defend my decision, because it is MY decision after all, I’ve made up my mind to go, I shall do my very best to enjoy every minute of my 6 months there and when I come back I shall have to face all the consequences of my decision, which I am absolutely fine with.

3-ish weeks to go!

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59 comments

  1. you will only regret the things YOU didn’t do in life….go and do what is right for you..it’s your journey and no-one can travel your road but you….xxx

    1. Exactly my thoughts, thanks xx

  2. elaine · · Reply

    Wow what an inspirational story. I have read all your blogs and your one girl who has her head screwed on. You have one life and you need to live it. Good luck going back to turkey and I bet Berkay and boncuk can’t wait for your arrival. You know it’s not going to be easy but you have to follow your heart and look to the future. Let cute haters hate your nit exactly asking them to go nice with you. Good luck Danni berkay and boncuk xx

  3. karen williamson · · Reply

    Dear Dani I don’t know u at all but please don’t listen to what people think of what ur doing they don’t matter don’t try and defend yourself go with your heart and have a wonderful time with your man, you are a long time dead…

    1. Very true! thanks, I will 🙂 xx

  4. Yay what fab news it’s made my week to read you are going back,I had to laugh at the negative comments though,I said in a previous comment hold your head up cos you should be proud of yourself,I’m sorry if I may have caused you trouble by mentioning my daughter sorting a Berkay Bonjuck and also a Danni bag to get ready to bring to calis,however she’s ten going on twenty and a force to be reckoned with so nandos sauce and minions here we come lol. With regards to finding anywhere to live did you try cbf someone might know somewhere local to rent. Will you still keep up with your blog when you go back? Good luck Danni you know it’s the iget thing to do,your mum and dad love you and just worry for you. Love to you all x ✈

    1. Your daughter is so sweet. 🙂 Thanks, I will keep up with my blog so long as an internet connection is available – eek! xx

  5. Lana Lynn · · Reply

    Oh Danni! you make my wee heart melt. If any of my children have your courage and strength and wherewithal at your age I will be one proud momma! Too many people (including myself) nowadays let their lives be dictated and before you know it the moment has passed, You’re only young once so follow your heart. Anyone who hasn’t anything nice to say is jealous, feck the haters! I wish you all the love and luck in the world, you already have made a difference to everyone’s lives with your clever, witty, emotional blogs! You go girl! Que Sera Sera!

    1. Aw I don’t know about that lol, thank you xx

  6. Whoever is judging you Danni ? If you were my daughter I would be happy for you,I would hate to see you so unhappy,as you have been these last few months.It won’t be easy for you and Berkay,I’m sure but neither is living at home when you’ve been used to keeping your own place.When and If you come back for 6 months would it be an idea to try and find work where you could live in,that way you could save more money for your next trip and not be relying on your dad and stepmum to let you live there and charging you so much for the privilege.My son only pays £120 a month and is 20.He has saved about £4000 towards the deposit on the house that he and his girlfriend are in the middle of buying and has his own car.We don’t really want him to move out but his girlfriend and her mum don’t always get on and she can’t come here as she has 2 dogs and I have 1. Three is too many for me to look after in my opinion .

  7. Gillian glass · · Reply

    It’s your live you must live it for yourself I hope you have a great time with your boyfriend/ husband and when you are both old and great you will always have the memories of the great summer that you both had in 2014

    1. Thanks, I hope so 🙂 xx

  8. Marina Reynolds · · Reply

    Lovely news Danni. Follow your heart.. Life is too short for regrets. Enjoy your precious time in Turkey and keep blogging when you are there, I love your blogs. 🙂 Take care. Wishing you lots of happiness xx

  9. Danni if I could share with you the most important thing I learned (across the many) when we were living in TR and since, it is that you need to accept 2 things. 1. People will talk rubbish about you. and 2. There is absolutely nothing you can do or say to them to change that so don’t waste a second trying. Follow what feels right to you and you’ll be surprised how often your instincts were correct. If people have things to say about you, but say them to anyone other than you are irrelevant in your life. Just realise it and make them so.

    All the best x

  10. Just been having a look on cbf not sure if these sites will be any good to you,but try sahibinben.com or rainbow management,also there’s a guy on there that’s always advertising his place for long lets crept i can’t remember his name lol. I’m working away next week with limited Internet (cant use it when I’m working) hence the 2nd message tonight. Am sure you will find a new home soon ✈💅

    1. thank you, we have been looking at them! it seems most places want to charge daily or weekly now its the season and want around £200 a week when we can only pay that a month! 😦 Berkay has a list of people to call tomorrow so we’ll see. x

  11. It is the opportunities you don’t take, not those you do, that you regret in the end. Best Wishes, Ilyse

  12. ilyset · · Reply

    It is the opportunities you don’t take, not those you do, that you regret in the end. Best Wishes!

  13. Diane Dagley · · Reply

    Be true to your heart…enjoy your time and be happy x

  14. Siobhan Meechin · · Reply

    Aww fantastic news!! Since I wrote last time, I got engaged to my Turkish love 🙂 I’ll be moving there next year (not looking forward to all the paperwork that goes with it tho) I can’t wait! Life is what you make of it and you have to live it in a way that is best for you. I think you’re making the right decision, so good luck!
    I’ll be in Ovacik visiting my love at his work in September if you fancy meeting up?!
    Ps ignore all the haters in this world, they just try to bring you down if they can xx

    1. Aww congratulations! Yes i’ve heard all the residency visa rules have changed now, eeek :/
      Sounds good 🙂 thanks x

  15. joan beck · · Reply

    Danni you must go and be with Berkey u deserve happiness honey and this isnt a rehearsal u go for it all my love and best wishes to you xx

  16. susan bell · · Reply

    You are the most amazing person I know , follow your heart your doing the right thing x

    Sent from my iPhone

    1. I don’t know about that lol! 🙂 x

  17. Take a lesson from me, don’t explain to anyone! It’s YOUR life! I know ther are plenty of people including me, that will offer their home free of charge for you and Boncuk to stay! I am in Denizli area, tell me if you need anything!!!!!

    1. aww, Berkay is from Denizli! :)xx

  18. Linda Kaya · · Reply

    Danni I don’t need to comment because I’ve said it all. You know I will always be behind you 100% and if there is anything I can do to help, you know I will. Love you lots xxx

    1. Thanks Linda ❤ x

  19. Well done and good for you – that is really great news! Don’t listen to what others say and follow your heart. I know it hurts, but there will always be people who make insensitive or ignorant remarks – their problem not yours. You can’t count on a second chance in life, so you are right to do what makes you happy, you sounded so miserable. Hope you get a house sorted out soon and – good on you, girl!

    1. Thank you 🙂 You are so right. x

  20. Good for you to follow what you believe in! My daughter is engaged to a Turkish guy who is wonderful but everyone else is so quick
    To judge. I’m not happy about my daughter moving so far away (She will be Ovacik) too but she will be following her heart just like you and when I walk around Fethiye/Calis /Olu Deniz Hisaronu etc there are far far worse places to live it is all so beautiful! Embrace it and enjoy it because we all only get out of life that we put in. Good luck to you all x

    1. Thanks 🙂 Hope all goes well for your daughter x

  21. Jane Diment · · Reply

    Yes Danni. go with your heart and ignore the rest. My father still doesn’t speak to me eleven years after I left the UK but that’s his problem. People always like to know what’s best for You! So wrong. They live their lives and you live yours. Enjoy your six months in TR. Love your blog. Keep it up. All the very best. xx

    1. Oh really? Thats sad 😦 You’re right there. THanks xx

  22. kimberley · · Reply

    I hope you don’t regret it… I love reading your blogs it makes me more excited about going due to you saying about all the things to do… I am going in 43 days with my boyfriend and I am going to show him all the things I love about turkey… I think you should go and spend the time with the one you love

    Love the blogs… Hope your going to keep them up 🙂 xxxx

    1. Thanks, have a fab holiday, where are you going? x

      1. kimberley · ·

        Am going to ichmeler near Marmaris well excited 🙂 xx

  23. I don’t even know you Danni but I am bloody proud of you and your loyalty to your man. I think you are an amazing young woman and if I were your parent I would be the proudest mum ever!

  24. Angela Sowten · · Reply

    Great news Danni, you can be whole again, but I’m sure your sweetie little sis is going to be heartbroken. As a mum I can understand totally how your family may feel, BUT life is not a rehearsal, there are no second chances, the older you get the more you will realise that, so seize the day, and enjoy every minute of the time with Berkay and Bonjuk xx

  25. Gem f · · Reply

    So happy reading this! Do what YOU want and ignore the negative people. This is your life, live it the way YOU want not the way others want u to! Go be happy with your little family and make even more memories 🙂 lots of love xxxx

  26. Danni, you know that I think you’re doing the right thing – but I also believe that those who worry about you have good intentions. Their worry is that you’re doing the wrong thing, when actually there is no right or wrong. Or they’re judging right and wrong by their ideals, not seeing the opportunities you have before you are not the same as other people’s opportunities. This decision won’t ruin your life, because the life you’re living now is not “your life”. Those who love you have their lives, but are finding it hard to let go and let you have yours. Wherever you are in 10 years, whether in Turkey or England, this will be a step towards that and your experiences will shape you. They already have, and I hope your loved ones can see that. This blog, the friends you’ve made online (genuine friends, some of them most definitely!), having your own home, making ends meet when you have little…… those are all achievements. Without them, you might have a 9 to 5 job but no idea of the future, no life skills. You’re living and learning, and if you are resourceful and determined, you will shape your future career and happiness from where you are now. No one should live to work…….. careers are important, but only important as a means to give you a happy home and a fulfilled life. Go and have YOURS. xx

  27. Bev Bozkurt · · Reply

    Go girl !!!!!!!!! Why waste time apart now when u can be together, be apart when you have no other option. I could tell how miserable you have been here, and have been silently willing you to go back to Turkey. Enjoy being back where your heart is for now. Never regret anything. Life is difficult enough, without having to live without your soulmate. Get that ticket booked, that bag packed, and get on that plane x x x x x x x x x If u were my daughter Danni, I would be so bloody proud of you !!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. See Danni loads of positive comments from your friends on here and we can’t all be wrong. All I will ever want is for my children to be happy eldest 27 youngest 10 and I’m sure your parents will be happy for you. Hopefully we shall meet up in August me with my ever increasing Berkay,Bonjuck and Danni bag lol. Take care and never give up your gift of writing so well and allowing all your followers on here into your lives. Lots of love n luck am soooo excited for you x x ✈

  29. tricia · · Reply

    I think everyone on here was just waiting to hear the inevitable. As you have said, you have not been happy & the fact that Berkay has to do his military service for a year makes a huge difference. Of course you want to spend as much time with him as possible before next year. Your decision is the right one for you right now & that’s all any of us can ever do, we make decisions based on our situations at that time. You are living for now and I wish I had done more of that when I was younger.
    Don’t stress about what might or might not happen when you return to the UK – you will deal with that then. Enjoy your summer with Berkay & Boncuk.

  30. andrea · · Reply

    Live every moment
    Laugh every day
    Love beyond words
    Xxx

  31. margaret · · Reply

    Like a lot of others, I was wondering how long it would take for you to return to Turkey and Berkay! I’m delighted that you made what is the right decision for you right now. You can return to the UK whenever Berkay is doing his military service and spend the year working and saving for the next phase of your lives. You are young and you have a long and hopefully happy life ahead of you – no need to spend it apart in misery.

  32. Georgina · · Reply

    Dear Danni
    It is your life – you live it how you want to! What I have learnt is that you know you have today – but you do not know you have a tomorrow.
    There will always be people making horrible remarks because basically they are jealous – ignore them – enjoy your life and be happy. Deal with tomorrow when it comes. Big hug from someone who moved here nearly 5 years ago! Georgina xxx

  33. I am so happy for you Danni.

    THERE IS ONLY ONE HAPPINESS IN LIFE…..TO LOVE AND BE LOVED IN RETURN

    Be Happy.

  34. denizb33 · · Reply

    I’ll never understand people who criticise others’ life decisions. I think it’s great that you’re going back and that you two can be together! Love your new flat, too. Your kitchen cupboards look exactly like the ones we had when we lived there, ha ha!

  35. I think you made a great choice! The year of military service will go SO much quicker with you getting to spend the summer together! Then during that year you can concentrate on work work work and saving $$ as much as possible. You will both be busy preparing for the future and with this extra boost of being together until then, it won’t be bad at all. 🙂 I’m so happy for you!

  36. Samantha M · · Reply

    I think you made the right decision. My boyfriend is in military now and it is hard and slow! so make every minute together count this summer.

    You said in a previous post that Berkay is studying.. if he has the oppurtunity to finish his studies I would suggest that he does. My boyf did 2 years at uni and then didnt finish – something he really regrets now. Not only do they have half the time to do but they do it in better conditions and are normally more relaxed and able to use their mobiles in public. Military service is hard for them but trust me its hard for us too stuck at home waiting for them!

  37. Hey! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say I really enjoy reading your posts.
    Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums
    that cover the same subjects? Appreciate it!

  38. dawn rayner · · Reply

    What amazing person you are ,glad to hear that you are going back to turkey . Enjoy your time with Berkay . Has always say live for today never know what tomorrow will bring . Has for the nasty negative remarks take no notice of them . You go girl xxx

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