Moving back to Turkey!?

Posted on May 10, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Since the last post I wrote, a lot has changed. I had big decisions to make over bank holiday weekend, and now that I’ve made up my mind and informed everyone in ‘real life’, I can share here! So here it is…..

I’m moving back to Turkey!

… temporarily at least.

Since Berkay came here in April I realised how unhappy I really am here – I don’t know what it was but something just snapped and changed my mind. The plan was to stay here and save until after Berkay has finished his army service, which he’s supposed to be doing in February next year, but now I’ve decided to go out there for the summer to spend as much time with him as possible before he goes. I’m hoping to go at the beginning of June til November.

Last Monday I told my manager I was leaving. I have been working on a 3 month temporary contract, and she told me they were going to extend it, but I told her my plans and explained as I didn’t want her to think I was just giving up my job for a 6 month holiday or that I was unreliable. As it happens she said they were impressed with me and to keep in contact in case they have anything available when I come back – so here’s hoping!

There’s a lot to plan before I go – I haven’t even booked a flight yet but can’t because I’m waiting on my passport to arrive – my old one got ripped! We also need to find a house – Berkay has been living in the hotel and we can’t stay there so he’s been wandering the streets door to door to find one. He’s had no luck. Now it’s the summer season it’s proving really difficult to find a house that isn’t charging hundreds daily, we need one in Calis as that’s where Berkay will work, the other issue is that we need one that is furnished as we own nothing of our own, and not forgetting we need somewhere that has a garden so that Boncuk can stay. Our previous apartment was 350tl a month which was amazing, but we’re willing to pay up to 500-600tl now, if anyone knows of anywhere in Calis?! It’s proving difficult.

I’m having mixed emotions about going back- of course I’m really looking forward to it, I miss life there, and I can’t wait to see Berkay and Boncuk everyday, but at the same time, I know it’s not going to be like before, because I won’t be living there for long, I’ll know the days are numbered, and I won’t be in OUR house as it’s been rented to someone else. A part of me just wants back those old days – but I guess those are gone forever. Going back is going to be so strange!

I’m not feeling as excited as I should about going back because of the comments people have been making. Apparently going back for 6 months means I am ‘ruining’ my life and subjecting myself to an ‘existence not a life’. It’s always the people you least expect to make those hurtful comments. Apparently it’s also common knowledge that I am going only ‘to avoid working for a living’ because I think the world owes me something – also not true. I’ve worked, I saved, I’m going with the money I have. I’m not asking for help financially from anyone. Sure, I’ve given up my job which is a silly thing to do the way things are at the moment – but I didn’t do it just to get a holiday. It’s not going to be a holiday at all – I’m just going to spend time with Berkay, in the two and a half years I lived there I never lived like a tourist, and won’t, I don’t want to be judged as one of those girls who just goes for the season to party hard – that’s not me at all. When Berkay goes in the army, I won’t see him for a year unless he gets leave at a time when I’m able to visit for a week. The way I see it is if I don’t go now, I may spend that year regretting it and wishing I’d spent as much time with him as possible. Maybe in a year’s time I may regret going and giving up my job, but I have the rest of my life to do that, I only have one chance to go before he goes into the army, so that’s what I’m doing.

I’m not really sure why I feel like I have to defend my decision, because it is MY decision after all, I’ve made up my mind to go, I shall do my very best to enjoy every minute of my 6 months there and when I come back I shall have to face all the consequences of my decision, which I am absolutely fine with.

3-ish weeks to go!

Vets…

Posted on May 4, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Although I’m not in Turkey, and not with Berkay, he still updates me with photos everyday. Photos of the changing face of Calis, photos of the hotel, photos of him at work, photos of Boncuk.

Yesterday he told me there was a small earthquake in the morning, I’m not sure many people felt it as it was only 4.1 on the scale but Berkay was working in the hotel all night and heard the rumbling and saw the door swinging open then people dashing outside – scary. 4.1 is nothing though, when I was there 2 years ago they had a 6.1 one – worst experience of my life that was, resulting in sleeping in the boot of my neighbour’s car for a few days. Eugh.

The tremor worried Berkay enough not to sleep all day, despite working all night. Instead of sleeping, he took Boncuk to the vet for her booster injections. The vet is a 45 minute walk away, or 10 minutes on the dolmus, but since dogs aren’t allowed on the buses, they had to walk. He said poor Boncuk is scared of everything, cars, bikes, rubbish bins – she’s crazy! They got to the vet and although they loved her, Boncuk did not love them. She’s so good though, didn’t growl or bite, she’s such a lovely thing really. They gave her her injection, some flea-treatment (she doesn’t have fleas, just a preventative!) and some vitamin powder to add to her food as she’s skinny , apparently that’s normal for the kind of dog she is! After the injection the vet told Berkay to sit with her outside with a bowl of water and wait for a little while before they started their walk home. How cute? It’s hard to find a decent vet in Turkey but it sounds like this is one of them! They really trust Berkay too – he always buys food off them on a ‘buy now- pay later’ promise, and let us pay for Boncuk’s kennel in installments.

See, lots of people say Turks don’t care about animals, I think Berkay proves otherwise! He has hardly any money himself and it would be oh so easy to not bother with her injections, yet there he was, walking an hour and a half and spending 80tl to take her to the vet.

In other news – my blog reached 120,000 views! I’m truely amazed. Thank you all!

Sorry for not updating this more regularly. I remember the days when I’d update it everyday! It’s been a shit week, and although I normally share everything on here, I can’t really talk about this on here where anyone and everyone can see.

I’ll be back later tonight with another post – hopefully.

Worry, worry, worry…

Posted on March 9, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s Sunday evening, and I’m sat in my bedroom utterly depressed. Monday tomorrow, which I’m sure everyone else who works 9-5 Monday to Friday shall agree, sucks. Monday should be a swear word. In fact, from now on I shall star out the letters. Screw you, M****y.

I’ve been at this job a month, and still hate it as much as my first day.
Despite hating every second of it, I was relieved when I was told by my manager that as far as he was concerned, they would keep me on for longer than 3 months, which they have now said isn’t true as there isn’t enough funding for the new role. So it’s back to square one. Spending my days doing a job I hate, and evenings and weekends back looking for a permanent job earning £18k in London. I applied for 200+ between October – January, and only ever got a reply from one, which was a no. I’m hoping this 3 months experience I will now have will help, but in reality, I’m not so sure it will. I’m sick of it all. I’m not passionate about any career in particular, I never have been. When I was 18 I had an unconditional offer for a university place,achieved 2 A’s and a B at A Levels, and was a fully pledged geek. Instead of taking the opportunity to go to university to study psychology, what did I do? Give it all up and worked 20 hours a week at Sainsbury’s. Clearly I don’t have my head screwed on correctly, because who in their right mind would make that choice? It’s a no-brainer isn’t it? The truth is, I only even applied for university to keep other people happy, because that’s what I was supposed to be doing. I never really wanted to. I should have stuck to my guns this time, and never took an office job. The only job I’m passionate about doing, is working with young children, or animals, neither of which pays much money, and neither of which will get me earning enough to get Berkay to the UK, not in the foreseeable future anyway.

People have commented before about doing a TEFL course and being able to teach English in Turkey, possibly allowing me to get a work permit, it’s not as easy as that though, and from people who already have these jobs, most places require CELTA qualifications, which are much much more expensive, and I’m not even remotely confident enough in myself to teach at a foreign school. I do intend to do a TEFL course soon though.

I’ve had conversations with my family this week about the immigration rules requiring me to be earning £18,600. All they kept saying before I moved back here was ‘you’ll walk straight into a job earning that money’, 6 months and 3 jobs later, here I am, unsurprisingly not earning that.Through these conversations, what I have gathered is that they see nothing wrong with these rules at all. It frustrates me. I’m not saying the world and it’s mother should have free rights to jump on a plane to the UK and enter freely, not at all. I’m just saying that it should be assessed in a fairer way, back to the old rules of the spouse having to show an extra £100 a week after outgoings to show they can afford another person living with them. Someone earning £18,600 could have outgoings of £18,600 a year, or be seriously in debt, whilst someone earning £16,000 may have outgoings of £12,000 a year. Who is in the better position then? Who has the right to decide which people deserve to live with their partners and children, based on income alone? Hell, reports have shown 48% of the UK’s population don’t earn £18,600, are you really telling me those 48% don’t have the right to live with who they want?

Away from the job and visa side of things, I have a new worry constantly on my mind. Boncuk. She’s staying with Berkay in the hotel at the moment, as it’s closed for winter and she is able to roam freely around the grounds. In summer, the hotel owner wants her gone as she’ll disturb guests by barking when seeing the lights, people and hearing the noise, which I can’t really argue with because I know she would do exactly that. This leaves us not knowing where she can go. Berkay has always taken care of her and took her with him to the hotel when he had nothing, he fed her before himself, sharing the only fish he’d caught with her so she’d eat well. We love her to pieces, and the thought of having to give her to someone else breaks my heart. Berkay was considering putting her in the kennels at the local vet, until they said they wanted 600tl a month for the privilege. 600tl a month out of his wages would leave him just 150tl a month to live on. Our own rent was only 350tl! I have gone to bed in tears twice this week after looking at the photos of the three of us, me, Berkay and Boncuk, and wishing with all my heart I could go back to those days. Giving Boncuk to a stranger, if we could even find someone to have her, would mean I never saw her again. I just can’t deal with that. We do have a kind of last resort, our friends said she can stay in their garden, but they only rent their apartment, and I’m worried Boncuk will get settled and used to them and then the landlord kick her out. I wish she could come here, I wish I could just fly out and get her and bring her back, but realistically that’s not possible either. £750 to fly or drive her back, and then still the issue of finding her a home here. My parents won’t let her stay here, not a chance in hell, I’ve asked and begged several times. She’s an outside dog, hates being indoors and isn’t even toilet trained, so I’d need to be able to find, afford and rent a ground floor flat or house with a garden to keep her in. What are the chances of that? I need to put her first, but I’ve always been adamant we’ll do everything we can to keep her with us. She’s our dog, we found her, took her in and she trusts us. Never in a million years would I dump her on the street, and finding a new home would be heartbreaking for both her, and us. What do to?

Honestly, life at the moment is just one big mess. I don’t even have anything positive to say. I don’t know what to do, say, feel.

It’s 2.5 weeks until Berkay is here, but that too, is bittersweet. When I’ve published this post I’m off to book his flight back to Turkey for 19th April. He’s not even here yet and I’m already thinking about and dreading him going back.

For now, I’m taking it one day at a time. Making the most of this Sunday evening before the hell of M****y hits.
Have a good week everybody.

Calis changes, dog walks & the canal..

Posted on March 2, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

On his day off Berkay likes to go walking through Calis.

He took Boncuk with him and went for a long walk up a hill with a beautiful view from the top (click here to see my old post with photos of the view!) We used to take her for a walk everyday and more often than not ended up walking to the top of this hill, we always had it to ourselves which meant Boncuk could run free off the lead safely, with no cars, people or other animals nearby. She loves to sit up there and have cuddles, look down over Calis or just play fetch. It’s so peaceful there.

On the way back to the hotel they stay in, they took the road that goes past our old apartment (the top floor)… This apartment is nothing special, in fact it was pretty poor, and only 350tl a month, the equivalent of around £100 (which was still half of Berkay’s entire income!) .. but it was ours. It still makes me sad imagining other people in our house, cooking in our kitchen, sleeping in our room, sitting on our balcony… I try not to think about it too much, because when I do it just upsets me.
Click here for an old post with more photos of inside the apartment.

Anyway, after they got back to the hotel, Berkay left Boncuk and carried on walking to the investigate the new-look canal. I’ve mentioned in a previous post about the changes they are doing, but I really can’t believe how different it looks.
Here’s a photo of the canal (left) taken a year ago, and the new, wider, cleaner canal with no plants (right) taken last week, both photos taken in the exact same place.

The changes they’re making are all for the better, it’s going to look like a different place when I go back!

A relaxing Sunday afternoon..

Posted on February 24, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Since Berkay changed his job, he now gets one day off a week. He does a week of nights, has Sunday off then does a week of days, then Sunday off, and back to a week of nights. Oh how I wish that was the case when I was living there!

His day’s off mean he can see his friends and go fishing for his dinner. He still has no money as he won’t be paid until March, so he is relying on his catch of the day to eat. He goes with our good friends, Serkan & Sibel, and their not-so-little anymore baby Cinar, who is adorable.

They often go to the little bays around Fethiye, this time it was buyuk samanlik koyu, which another friend of his actually owns. It’s a nice place, a bit basic, but nice in the winter and popular in the Summer with Turkish families who go there for BBQ picnic’s on Sunday’s. The view’s are lovely, you can see over to Calis and Fethiye and see all the boats going back to the harbour. The drive down to the bay is beautiful, although a little frightening as you have to drive along the cliff edge, which, if you know what Turkish driving is like, can be a little scary.

Normally I edit photos before uploading them, but these need no editing at all, as they are already perfect. Look how beautiful it is, just before sundown.

Berkay is normally quite successful at catching fish, last week he caught an Octopus. Today however, he wasn’t so lucky and didn’t catch anything, so he’s gone to bed without having any dinner. He’s at work at 7am tomorrow so he’ll sneak some breakfast from the buffet.

It was another friend’s birthday last weekend, he’s only known Berkay 2 years but is really like a dad to him. From what I’ve seen, Turkish people don’t really celebrate birthdays, but his sons bought him a cake..wish I was there to get a piece hehe (:

Despite not having money at the moment, Berkay has recently had the vet out to give Boncuk her booster injections, there are far too many ill, untreated dogs in the area that it is just not worth the risk. She’s all up to date with worming and flea treatment and injections now, so she’s a happy doggy. I can’t believe how ‘old’ she looks now, she’s lost her puppy features and that makes me sad 😦 By the time I go back in July (hopefully) I won’t have seen her for 10 months, I hope she remembers me! For now I can relax knowing she’s safe, looked after and happy 🙂

I hope everybody had a good weekend. (:

Jobs are like buses..

Posted on February 7, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

You wait around ages for one then 3 come along at once … quite literally!!

Berkay quit his job mid January, and was struggling to find work with hotels not wanting anyone outside of the tourist season.. His luck changed last week when a hotel in Fethiye called him asking him to start the next day, he said yes, but just before he was due to start, the restuarant he was at before Christmas called him wanting him back, pay was less but they provided his transport so it worked out around the same.. he took that job and was there for 3 days when his summer boss called and asked him to start working in their sister hotel, which is open all year around. Berkay couldn’t believe his luck! He knows this boss well and works with him every summer so he knows he is guaranteed to be paid unlike last winter when he worked for 2 months without a penny being handed over..

So now Berkay is working in Vizon hotel in Fethiye’s main town centre. It’s a very Turkish hotel, it’s rare any other nationalities visit, it’s not touristy at all. He’s happy there and gets along well with the other staff who he’s known for over 7 years. I’m so pleased he finally has a job so he can start earning and saving, the best part is they’re letting him have 3 weeks holiday to come back to the UK in March/April so he has a guaranteed job when he returns too. Phew.

It’s not just Berkay that’s been having luck on the job front, I finally have a start date for the job I’ve been promised since the beginning of January, I’m starting on Monday and pleased that this is the first step of a very, very long journey towards getting Berkay here for good ~~hopefully.~~

In other news… My little doggy Boncuk has a boyfriend! His name is Maxi and he lives near where Berkay stays. Maxi and Boncuk used to ‘talk’ to each other through the gate, and when Berkay opened it to let him in the other day, they shared a little kiss 😉

Look how happy my fur baby looks ❤

I’m missing Turkey a lot lately, but Berkay is keeping me updated with photos.
7 weeks time and he will be back here! Can’t wait.

Catching up with Berkay & Boncuk..

Posted on January 26, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s been 3 weeks tomorrow since Berkay went back to Turkey, but it seems like so much longer. The day after he returned he found a job, but quit after a week or so because he was only earning £6.40 a day for 13-15 hours work and he was getting frustrated as the greedy boss was taking all of Berkay’s tips off him. When you’re earning so little, tips make all the difference, it could double his wages.

He’s been walking around all the hotels in Calis and in Fethiye trying to find work, but no luck as of yet, nobody needs staff in winter as most of the hotels are closed, and the ones that remain open are quiet enough that they do not need to employ any new people. All I can say is that it is a good job I’m not there this winter as we wouldn’t survive, no way could we find enough money to even pay rent, without even thinking about bills, food and other costs. Berkay is struggling himself, relying on friends to make him dinner and bring him food as he has zero money himself. It’s difficult for people here to understand, my Dad was moaning because I paid for Berkay’s upcoming flight to the UK in March and he thinks he should be paying for it himself, when that’s not even an option. If I don’t pay, I won’t see him, simple. Sure, at the moment Berkay doesn’t have to pay rent or electric bills, but phone, food and general day to day costs, buses, water, dog food… It all adds up, and earning £6.40 a day for a week hardly gave him an opportunity to save. He is doing his best to find work though, and is waiting for one hotel to call him back, it sounded promising!

I’ve got a feeling this summer will be hard too, with the strength of the lira weakening meaning prices in tourist resorts will increase, while wages most definitely will not.

Anyway, the time off work means Berkay has been spending a lot more time with Boncuk, and has been taking her for nice winter walks along the beach, he managed to get food for her on a ‘pay later’ promise, so she’s well fed and happy. She loves staying in the hotel and being free to roam around while its closed, we are unsure where she will be able to stay in Summer though. She’s due her yearly booster vaccinations now, so Berkay is trying to get that sorted too, luckily he has a friend who knows a vet, so no doubt they’ll be on a ‘pay later’ promise too. Getting into debt for Boncuk is worth it, of course. (:

This dog is Boncuk’s friend. It lives near the hotel and comes to the fence to say hello to her, Berkay let it into the hotel grounds today and let them have a little play off the lead together. Bless.
Berkay has also been spending a lot of time with friends, they often go fishing together hoping to catch some dinner! They are a lovely couple, we often went for BBQ’s together when I lived there, I have done a few posts involving them in the past. Their little boy, Çınar , is over a year old now, bless him. Berkay took this little monster dressing gown back for him from the UK after Christmas. Seeing how big he has got really makes me realise how much things are changing and how long I’ve been away. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday I lived there, sometimes it seems like forever.

Early Christmas..

Posted on December 22, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

3 more days til Santa, but Christmas came early for us today, as we celebrated at Mum’s house.

We woke up this morning after a night of sharing the sofa bed with the dog, who was also feeling very festive.

We had crumpets for breakfast and then opened our presents, while still in our pajamas, as per Christmas tradition 😉

Even Boncuk got some presents, she wasn’t forgotten! 🙂
We ate a huge Christmas dinner cooked by my mum’s partner (apparently having pickled onions with roast dinner is not normal?!) and had yummy dessert along with countless chocolates and other treats.

Of course we all had Christmas crackers and wore our cracker hats too, everyone has to have a silly cracker hat photo, right?

We’re currently watching rubbish films on TV, and waiting to go back to dad’s house soon. Work tomorrow and Christmas Eve, time is flying. Berkay has been here a week tomorrow already… Crazy.

He’s here for 2 more weeks until the 5th Jan, which I suspect will also pass by very quickly, unfortunately. Poor Berkay is bored out of his mind and probably can’t wait to go home 😦 I’ll have to get Dad to find him some jobs to do while I’m at work all day tomorrow, he’s already washed the car and done some babysitting duties, bless, anything to keep him amused!

December countdown..

Posted on December 6, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s the 5th of December already, as my advent calendar reminded me this morning, which means only 11 more sleeps until Berkay is here! (:

Still cant quite believe that its December already, or that I have been back for 10 weeks. Its crazy!

I’m still at my job, and have found another temporary job at an office, as of next week I’ll be doing 2 jobs working up to 12 hours a day, going to be bloody hard! Both jobs are temporary until January. The most frustrating part is that any money I earn won’t count for anything towards helping Berkay get his visa to live here, I have to be earning £18,600 a year for 6 months for that, feel like I’m stuck and not getting anywhere fast, but it could be worse…

Berkay has been looking for work since the beginning of November, and has been getting pretty desperate as he had to buy new food for Boncuk, luckily he found a job and started yesterday, working 15+ hours a day, starting at lunchtime and finishing after 4am. All that work and all those hours for just 25tl a day, the equivalent to £7.50 a day. Ridiculous. 😦 It’s mad to think we ever survived on that.

Boncuk is settled in nicely and enjoying her home in the hotel with Berkay, she’ll miss him when he comes here for a few weeks, but our good friend is looking after her so I know she’s going to be well looked after (:

Hopefully I’ll be back with another post again soon, just finding it hard to think of things to write, and struggling to find time to write them.

Happy Christmas shopping everyone 😉

Good news!

Posted on November 23, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

We got some great news on Thursday…
Berkay got his visit visa!

This means he can come to the UK for Christmas, New Year and back again in March for mum’s wedding. So happy!

It’s only a 6 month visa, and he’s only planning on staying for a total of 6 weeks out of that time, but it’s such hard work to get visas to the UK, as I have mentioned before.

I really didn’t think he’d get the visa this year, so it was a lovely suprise and I’m so glad, this one was more important than the rest as previous years I was living with him, but this year if he didn’t get his visa who know’s when I’d see him again. I have spoken recently about not feeling like I fit in here anymore, so having Berkay with me for Christmas is going to make me feel a lot happier, I can finally start to look forward to the holidays like everybody else! (:

Still yet to book his flights, but hopefully he’s coming mid December for 3 weeks. Our friend will be looking after our lovely Boncuk, if only Berkay could smuggle her in his suitcase! 😦 ❤

If anyone has any questions about visit visas, feel free to ask, always here to help!

xxx

I’m moving back to Turkey!

We got some great news on Thursday… Berkay got his visit visa!

We got some great news on Thursday…
Berkay got his visit visa!