We got married!

Posted on May 3, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

In case you’ve been living in a bubble for the past week and don’t follow me or my blog page on Facebook, you’ll know that last Wednesday, 27th April, we got married!

After all the worrying I did about our two families coming together and how nervous I was about being centre of attention for the day, it turned into the best day ever and I’m very proud to now officially be Mrs Değirmenci!

I spent 10 glorious days in Turkey but 48 hours ago came back down to earth with a massive, painful bump as the time came to board the plane back to the UK. People say that the time I spend in Turkey must go by really fast, but it honestly doesn’t. Each time I return to Turkey it feels like I’m going home, and all my visits blur into one. It feels like I’ve been there forever, which only makes it all the harder when I leave again.

It’s never easy leaving Berkay behind, but instead of getting easier each time, it gets harder, and this time was the worst. We’d been married for 4 days and spent 10 whole days together, waking up together, eating breakfast together, walking hand in hand together, doing the washing together, eating dinner together, sleeping together.. and had just 4 days as husband and wife before I flew back to the UK and all of that became impossible again. 48 hours ago I had a husband next to me, now I find myself back in the daily 9-5 routine of work, living with my family and not feeling like a married couple at all 1000’s of miles apart.

I’m not really sure I can describe it in a way that anyone would understand, unless they’ve already been through it themselves but it’s really emotionally draining and although people mean well with their wishes and comments saying ‘you’ll be together again soon’, ‘now you can start focusing on the visa and getting everything ready to apply’ etc, it doesn’t make it any easier and that’s really not what I want to hear.

The days after your wedding should be happy, you should be putting congratulations cards up in your house and buying toasters and kettles and things for your house together – not sat in an airport departures hall in tears preparing for that one last glance back at each other before you pass through passport control and can’t look them in the eyes or feel their touch again for several months. It should not be that way at all.

I only have 5 days of annual left to take now so won’t be able to visit Berkay again until September as I have to space the time out carefully. I think it’s even harder for us because we once lived together for 3 years straight, with barely any days without seeing each other, and then suddenly the army reared it’s ugly head and separated us for a year, and now that’s over and done with but we’re still unable to be together in the same country.

People ask why I don’t move back to Turkey but the truth is I would in an instant. I LOVE Fethiye and Calis and our life there. Sensibly and practically though, that’s just not an option. Winters out there are very hard, and although the lifestyle is more relaxed, friendlier and less materialistic, the long working hours in summer are tough too. We want to have children and having Berkay working 15 hour days 7 days a week in summer and then finding work in winter and not knowing if he’ll actually get paid that month is just too stressful, plus there’s no time for family time. I lived there for 3 years and only saw him for 3 hours a day. Money isn’t such a problem in summer, but in winter its too hard. We budgeted hard and rationed our electricity and food and while that was fine for us back then, we would never be able to have a family that way or get into debt with Berkay’s employers again through borrowing money to get him through the winter months. As I write this I’m not entirely certain if I’m trying to explain my reasons to you readers, or if I’m just trying to convince myself that it’s the right thing…

Living in the UK would be a real challenge for Berkay, and it would take a lot of adapting and hard work, but at the moment it’s our best option. I have a great job in a good location and I have no doubt he’d find work somewhere too. I earn the income requirement needed to apply for his visa at the moment and it took a lot of time to get to this point, giving it up now would be silly. I’ve saved a few thousand pounds which will be enough for us to apply for his visa and hopefully a deposit to rent somewhere here. We will be applying for his visa around September time, and hopefully have a definite yes or no answer by Christmas. If it’s a yes, we’ll start our life in the UK, and if it’s a no I’m willing to move back there and make sacrifices. We really have one shot at his visa, it costs thousands of pounds and a lot of time and effort so we really will only try once. I suppose the only thing for certain is that by Janaury 2017 we will know where our future is, be that in the UK or Turkey, and we won’t have to spend anymore time apart figuring it out as the decision will be made for us by the UK government. As soon as we hand those papers in in September-time, it’s out of our hands and into the hands of a complete stranger who has never met us and who judges our life by flicking through a pile of paperwork.

We’re married now but things regarding the future are as unstable as ever. Thankfully, we have each other no matter how far apart we are and the long distance aspect of our relationship means we never take each other for granted. Every meal together, every time we open our eyes and wake up next to each other, every time we walk hand in hand is a moment we treasure as it doesn’t happen everyday. I can’t stop looking at our wedding photos they make me smile even if looking back at them is bittersweet…

Brace yourselves for a lot of wedding posts soon!!

Two Separate lives?

Posted on April 20, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

Since I’ve been back from Turkey in this last week, it has never been more apparent to me that I am living two separate lives. One life here, one life there in Turkey, and the two rarely, if ever, cross over. It’s quite an unsettling feeling, being pulled in both directions, feeling ties to both countries and never really feeling at peace or at home. This is my favourite quote and one that I feel will stick with me for a long time.

“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” ― Miriam Adeney.

It’s 100% true and goes a little way to describing how I feel on a daily basis. Not only are me and Berkay currently living very separate, polar opposite lives, which thankfully is only temporary, but I’m also having an internal battle within myself, one that I think shall go on forever, whichever country we end up settling in.

I have friends and family in the UK, and friends and family in Turkey. The two have never met. My family has never met Berkay’s family and I doubt they ever will because neither really has the desire to meet the other, and even if they did, communication would be non-existant. This is always going to be awkward, because neither really has any idea how the other lives, and their lives are so totally different that any reunion would end up being like a terrible version of “meet the Fockers” or that Turkish film ‘ay lav yu’ (watch it, it’s hilarious).

The lifestyles I myself live in both countries is so different, it’s like I have two different lives, two different personalities, two different homes. In Turkey I rely on Berkay for a lot of things, he pays the bills, we do the shopping together, we visited friends together, got on the bus together… in fact when I lived there there were times where I’d go days or weeks without having a conversation with another person face to face (apart from Berkay, of course). This didn’t bother me, at all. We done everything together, I hardly ever went out alone, and I liked that. Here in the UK its the total opposite. I have to do things for myself, I’m always alone, travelling on the train, bus, going to the shop, buying things, I’m in a house surrounded by people but outside these 4 walls I’m alone, and that takes some getting used to after so long.

The whole mentality of people here in the UK is different – want something, buy it. Throughout my time living in Turkey I learnt not to be this way, I wasn’t fussed about the latest gadget, I wasn’t the slightest bit ‘into’ fashion and I really never bought things to treat myself, I don’t need to, nor want to. Being back in the UK though, I can sometimes feel the urge to splurge and waste money on stupid things, I find myself falling back into this habit, one I didn’t have for so long. For example, the other day I spent £9.50 on 3 bottles of fancy shampoo. At Today’s exchange rate this is nearly 40tl. When we were in Turkey, we’d walk to the furthest, cheapest supermarket and search the shelf for the cheapest bottle. Here I went online, ordered a ridiculously expensive one and had it delivered. A moment of madness, although my hair is thanking me because it smells amazing.

The most difficult thing I’ve faced since coming back, is learning how to fit in again, and it’s really not very easy at all. I spent 19 years of my life here, It should feel like home, right? It doesn’t. You see, I’ve spent such a long time away from home, from family, from friends, that when it comes to sitting around a dinner table with them it feels weird, like I’m an outsider looking in, that’s the best way I can explain it. I’ve been back in the UK for over 4 months and that hasn’t really changed. These people, friends and family, who were once all I knew, are now so distant from me because they can’t comprehend the life I had in Turkey, for them it was all one big holiday, they only saw my life through the photos I posted online and the things I told them, last year none of my family visited me in Turkey, and my friends never have, they never saw my house there, the things I saw and walked past everyday, the places I went, the things that were a part of my everyday life, and somehow that makes me feel very distant from them.

In Turkey, everyone sees us as ‘Dan & Berkay’ – we lived together, had a life together. The last time Berkay was in the UK was April last year, 2014. That was the last time he saw any of my family, so I guess for them instead of ‘Dan & Berkay’ they simply see me as just ‘Dan’, this was particularly evident at Christmas when I got cards addressed just to me. “Why don’t they write Berkay too?” I kept asking myself, it’s not their fault though, it’s a habit. He’s not here, not a part of my life in the UK so why would they include him?

Everything is different, from the places I go, to the people I see and even the food I eat. Walking in supermarkets is always a weird one for me. I remember moving back here from Turkey and going to Asda with my mum, I was totally overwhelmed by everything on the shevles that I hadn’t seen for months, years. Cadburys chocolate, British brands, salad pre washed, cut and in a packet. The same thing happened this time when I went back to Turkey and walked around Migros. Things that you’d never consider have a way of making you reminisce. “Aww, we used to use that washing powder. Oooo look, remember this drink? Oh, we used to buy that rice.” Really, really weird things that just jump out at you and say “this was your life once”.

When I got off that plane at Dalaman 2 weeks ago and walked out through the exit doors, I immediately became ‘Turkey Danni’ again, rather than ‘England Danni’, I once again had Berkay by my side doing the daily chores, going shopping together and walking hand in hand. I once again saw all the familiar places and faces I once saw everyday, and it was like I’d never been away. We went to friend’s houses for tea and they welcomed us with open arms and full glasses. We visited places we used to go to every week, the market, the beach, Fethiye. Then, a week later, I got back on the plane, landed, turned the key in the front door, walked upstairs to my bedroom, unpacked and became ‘England Danni’ again. It’s truely bizarre, and really quite sad.

It’s something that will never really go away, I’ll always have ties to both the UK, and Turkey. Berkay will too. At one point in the future, one of us is going to have to ‘give up’ one of our countries, and both of us will no doubt miss something from whichever country we’re not in. Any future children we have will also be torn between the two countries, both sets of grandparents, families, lifestyles. As the quote above says, this is the price we pay.

Would I change it though? No way.

A week in Turkey..

Posted on April 17, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s the 18th of April and I’ve not updated my blog at all this month, mainly because of my week-long trip to Turkey last week during Berkay’s army break!

I was a little nervous before going, I can’t really explain why, it was all a bit of mixed emotions. Excited about seeing Berkay and Boncuk, worried about how Boncuk would react and if Berkay would still be the same person or whether army life would have changed him, happy to be visiting, and dreading coming back to England again all in one go! Oh my poor head, I never knew it was capable of that many emotions at once.

Once I got there though, all those emotions vanished and I was beaming from ear to ear, it was like I’d never been away and I was so happy to be there. It really is my home. It was my birthday while I was away, my first ever birthday spent in Turkey and it was brilliant. We also visited Berkay’s village and experienced snow there, yes snow! I had an amazing week, took thousands of photos and made lots of new memories – once I get back in to the swing of things I’ll be posting here more regularly as I have lots of new photos and material to write and share with you all!

I’ll be back tomorrow with a post, but for now, I’ll leave you with one of my favourite photos from last week.

All reunited together, although very briefly.
~~293 left days and counting!~~

Sailing the day away on a Fethiye boat trip..

Posted on September 7, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

This post is long overdue! 10 days ago we went on a boat trip to the islands around Fethiye. We went along for free with one of the tour groups that visit the hotel Berkay works in – the perks of the job!

The tour group we went with is calls ETS, they go traveling around on excursions from Istanbul and stay in the hotel for 3-4 days, using it as a base while they see the sites of the surrounding areas. We hopped on their coach and headed to Fethiye where we boarded the boat.

The boat’s name was Grand Baris. We set off around 10.30 and went on a different route to most of the other ’12 islands’ trips, which I quite liked, although we seemed to be sailing forever until our first stop, it must have been over an hour.

The first stop was called Olive Island and was near Gocek I think, we had a swim and stopped there for 45 minutes. It was all going well until my foot touched a sea urchin, those things really hurt. I didn’t even step on it, just brushed it with my foot and it hurt for the entire day! I could see a really tiny black dot which I removed, but my foot felt like it had painful pins and needles until the following day – it was so weird, thank goodness I didn’t step on one completely and get the entire spike embedded in my foot, because that would definitely have ruined our day!

After that, we moved onto the next stop, I’ve forgotten the name but it was lovely there, turquoise water and really pretty. This is where lunch was served. Everyone else on the boat had to pay 15tl for their dinner (I assume because they didn’t pay for the boat trip individually, it was just part of the tour group’s excursions) but we got it for free as we knew them. It was fish, chicken or meatballs with spaghetti, salad and bread. It was a big plate full too, I couldn’t eat all mine, but it was lovely. I found the price of the drinks/food on board more expensive than usual. We had a small glass of Turkish tea which were 2tl each, and I noticed the 5tl Cola and Fanta were smaller glass bottles, rather than 33 cl cans. We also paid 5tl for a tiny plate of about 20 chips… I know we can’t really complain as we got everything else for free, but everyone else who were paying customers still had to pay those prices.

After another swim, the next stop was Flat Island. It was a lot busier here but really beautiful. We got off the island and had a walk around, it looks even better from photos above (google search ‘flat island fethiye’ to see some!). The flat part of the island is shaped almost like a number ‘6’ with a calm, shallow area of water in the middle which you can walk through. We walked along the flat strip until we reached the hill and then turned back, it was so hot we didn’t fancy hill climbing! There were some ducks and chickens present on the island hiding in the shade of the bushes – cute. After another quick swim we got back on the boat and headed off to our last stop – Red Island.

Red Island is the name of the island you can see from Calis and which forms the backdrop of most of my sunset photos! Berkay had had no sleep and had been working all night, so he was napping on the boat, but I went for a swim and took my goggles so I could look for some fish. The boat moored near a corner of the island and I was able to swim to it, there were alot of beautiful fish there, I wish I’d taken my iPod in with me to get some good underwater photos, but I forgot! I’m so glad I took my goggles, because towards the side of the island the water became shallow and I could see and feel the rocks underneath – I peeked through my goggles to see if it was safe to step down and there were so many black, spikey sea urchins waiting for my feet… Definitely learned my lesson the first time and kept my feet firmly off the ground! More boats starting arriving at the island so I swam back towards ours and after 45 minutes they pulled the anchor up and set off back towards Fethiye.

This is always my favourite part of the journey, it was around 5pm so the sun wasn’t directly overhead, making it slightly cooler. I love sitting at the back of the boat with my feet dangling in the water watching people fishing – they caught 2 fish and a starfish – Berkay was jealous, wishing he had bought his fishing rod! The sight as you come into Fethiye marina is beautiful, with the mountains and rock tombs in full view – lovely.

The boat itself was nice, clean and well-kept. The women’s toilets were large, clean and well-lit but Berkay said the men’s weren’t so nice – so much so that he actually used the women’s one instead! The staff were really friendly and it was a good day out, but we probably wouldn’t chose to use this boat again ourselves, we preferred the one we were on back in July. (click HERE to read the post about that trip)

Also, I always cringe when British people complain about the lack of fellow Brits in their hotel or on boat trips etc, we are in Turkey afterall… but there was one small family of English people on the boat who booked separately to the huge (over 100 people) entirely Turkish tour group that we went with and I can understand that they may have felt a little awkward mixed in amongst them. I do wonder if they were informed when they booked that a large tour group was booked on the boat for the same day? That being said, the staff made sure everything was announced in Turkish and English and were equally as welcoming to both groups of people from what I saw.

We had a great day and I’m grateful we got the opportunity to go for free (apart from extras like drinks). I recommend the boat, we had nothing but a good experience, but I would suggest making sure there are no large tour group bookings on the day you plan to go if that bothers you.

I just love being at sea, perhaps I should have been a pirate! ~~Or married someone with alot of money and a fancy yacht.~~

The cost of living in Turkey…

Posted on August 6, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

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I have been wanting to write this post since I started my blog last year, but I knew it would take a lot of research to get it right, and I also know a lot of people will disagree with me, but after discussing it with someone today, I was determined to post my view on this.

People think living in Turkey is cheap… It’s not. Unless you’re living off a British pension or have an income from other sources in the UK, it’s not cheap to live here at all. When I say to people it’s hard to live off a Turkish wage and that we always end up getting into debt, people tell me ‘you just need to budget better and not have a holiday lifestyle, it’s so cheap to live in Turkey’… I know for a fact that it’s not, and people just do not realise how local people really struggle.

Ok, now a little disclaimer, this is NOT about me. It’s not a pity party. I can get on the next flight home to England if it becomes too hard to live here. This is for the local people, the Turks, the thousands of people working in Turkey who do not have the luxury of choosing where to live or have many job opportunities.

I have always said that living in Turkey is actually more expensive than living in the UK. When you compare like for like, Turkey appears cheaper, but when you consider local wages, you realise it’s not. If you’re an expat in Turkey and have more than £250 a month in income from a pension or other means, you are financially better off than a lot of locals in Fethiye, and all over the country. The minimum wage here is 895tl a month after tax – that equals £255 a month or roughly £3068 a year. (For arguments sake throughout this article I’m using an exchange rate of 3.5tl/£1 as this is the rate being given in town as of today). This is minimum wage across the country. Compare this to minimum wage in the UK which is £6.31 an hour – for 40 hours a week this would be £11,380 a year AFTER tax, or £950 a month, roughly. This means that the minimum wage in Turkey is 3.7 x less than the UK, therefore, for Turkey to have a cheaper cost of living than the UK, the prices of everything would have to be 3.7 x lower than in the UK… let’s look into that and see if that is the case.

I have investigated the prices of many everyday items – I looked online at two main supermarkets – Migros for Turkey, and Tesco for the UK. These are pretty much the same thing, big supermarkets. Of course there are cheaper options for all of the foods listed, I could have looked at Aldi & Lidl compared to Turkey’s Bim & Sok for lesser known brands and cheaper choices, but for ease I’m looking at the two main supermarkets. The fruit and veg prices were compared using Tesco prices vs Fethiye market prices – the cheapest possible place to find them.

The photo below shows my findings.

As you can see, for most of the products, the price of these when converted into pounds is cheaper in Turkey, but not by very much, and certainly not 3.7 x cheaper. Things like bread, water and some fruits such as grapes and cherries are significantly cheaper here in Turkey, even with the difference in wages. For most things however, when considering the wage difference, are more expensive here in Turkey. For example, I did not find one single house product that was cheaper here, in comparison. Bleach, toothpaste, toilet paper, shampoo and deodorant are all more expensive, along with everyday food items such as pasta and milk.

Meat prices here in Turkey are ridiculous – as you can see from the table all red and white meat is significantly more expensive here when you factor in the wage differences.

Perhaps most shockingly, some of the everyday items are actually significantly more expensive in Turkey without even looking at the wage comparison – cheese, eggs, bananas, potatoes and pet food are all more expensive here in Turkey than it would be if we were shopping in Tesco. There’s also the fact that supermarkets in the UK often have “buy one get one free” deals which I rarely see in shops here.

I see where other expats are coming from – their pounds go further here than at home in England for the most part, but for people living here off a local wage life is very hard and a daily struggle. I have no idea how large families cope.

Groceries aren’t the only things that are more expensive in Turkey. I looked online and compared typical internet broadband prices, in the UK the average price worked out at £230 a year. Here in Turkey we pay around 90tl per month, or 1080tl (£308) per year. Again, that shows that the price of the internet luxury here is more expensive than the UK, without even considering wage differences.

I tried to compare electricity prices, but there are such vast differences in the amount that people pay each month it would be impossible to do a comparison, our electric bills every month are between 30-50tl, while I know others who pay 200tl a month, and I have no idea of the breakdown in prices either here or in the UK.

Petrol prices here in Turkey are far more expensive than the UK before even considering the wage difference. Car prices here are also ridiculous, a car that you would pay £1000 for in the UK is likely to sell for the equivalent of £5000 or more here in Turkey – no wonder I see so many ancient, non road-worthy cars around, nobody can afford models less than 20 years old.
White goods, fridges, washing machines etc and other general household goods here in Turkey are around the same price as in the UK – again when you consider wages are a lot less here, this makes them a lot more expensive in comparison.

Another significant thing here to remember is there is no free healthcare. For local people working their bosses should pay for their health insurance which enables cheaper treatment, and for those not working, the amount they pay for health insurance is means tested, but it’s not free. There are also very little income benefits. In order to be entitled they have to have worked and paid insurance for a certain amount of days in a period of time, Berkay was entitled to it last winter and got 300tl per month, who could ever live off that?

There are things that are cheaper here in Turkey, for example, council tax, road tax, insurance etc, but when everything else is considered, this is so small and insignificant.

Rent prices are a different story. Rent prices are undoubtedly a lot cheaper here in Turkey. From searching online, I found the price of a one bedroom flat in England varied considerably – from £400 in Northern areas, to over £700 in London. In comparison, prices for a one bedroom basic apartment here in Fethiye vary from 300 – 650tl (£85 – £170) – I can’t deny that they are much cheaper here.

You may be thinking to yourself, ‘why dont they work harder to earn more’ – it doesn’t work like that. I can only comment for people working in Tourism, as that is all I have knowledge of, but generally people working in this sector will be stuck in it for life. It doesn’t mean they’re lazy or unqualified (Berkay has a diploma in hotel management!) it just means they have no choice. It’s not like they can take on a second job to bump up their wages either – working days here are long with people working up to 12-15 hours a day, 7 days a week. There is no time for another job.

All of the above isn’t even considering the fact that a lot of people in tourism don’t have work during winter, and those that do are more than likely working for less than minimum wage as their employer knows they are desperate and will work for any money they offer – some take total advantage and do not even pay them at the end of the month, they simply refuse, and because they have been working without insurance and for less than minimum wage they have no option but to accept it.

Im not suggesting the whole of Turkey is poor, there are of course people with very good jobs earning tens of thousands lira a year and people who would be rich even by English standards. But that doesn’t change the fact that for Turkish people, living here in Turkey IS more expensive than living in the UK. I know there will be people who disagree, but if you do the research you might be surprised at what you find.

Let me know if you agree, or disagree, I’m open to all comments. I’m really curious at people’s opinions of the cost of living here in Turkey. Before I moved here I had no idea, I didn’t care, I was ignorant, but it’s something that really fascinates me now and I can’t help but get into discussions about it when I see people saying the infamous words ‘it’s cheaper to live over there’.

Of course there are many positive things about living here, perhaps the quality of life here outweighs the increased cost of living? Let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading, If you got this far, well done, what an essay this turned out to be!

The price we pay for the decisions we make…

Posted on May 16, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

A few weeks ago I saw this quote pop up on my Facebook news feed. I read it and got goosebumps. It manages to take all of my feelings and squish them into two little sentences.

I have never read words more true. I am never going to feel truely at home no matter where I am, because a part of me will always be elsewhere, always be missing someone, something, wondering what is going on in the other place.

Despite how I make it sound, the decision to go back to Turkey was not an easy one. Of course I’m happy there with Berkay and Boncuk, and everything there feels like ‘home’ to me – the food, the way of life, the weird little quirks, but no matter how happy I am there, I am always wondering what the people I leave behind back home are doing, wondering what my family and friends are doing, how they are etc etc, of course their lives move on while I’m not here, and when I do come back to visit, or to live, it’s always hard to fit back in because so much has changed. When I’m back here in England and trying to fit in, all I can think about is my life in Turkey, and what I’m missing there, how much things there are changing, what Berkay’s doing, worrying how my dog is, wanting to just go out and have a little BBQ with our Turkish friends. It’s a vicious circle. It’s almost like ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’ – no matter where you are, there’s a part of you wanting something from ‘the other side’ as it’s inevitable there will always be something missing.

Some say it’s my own fault for choosing this life, for choosing to fall in love with a Turkish person instead of someone who lives around the corner from me. It’s true – this lifestyle is one that I have decided to follow, and I shall forever pay the price for that.

Do I regret it though? Absolutely not. I’m lucky to have two places I feel connected to, yet divided between. I just wish there was a way to merge them all into one cute, fluffy ball of happiness.

London with Berkay – part 2

Posted on April 23, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

I posted part 1 of my birthday day out in London yesterday, and as promised, here is part 2.

On our way to Buckingham Palace, we found ourselves at St.James Park. It was a lovely sunny afternoon and it was absolutely gorgeous walking through the park at this time of the day. There were beautiful yellow daffodils, blossom on the trees, flowers growing, green grass- beautiful! The lake looked lovely with the water fountain and ‘duck island’ in the middle.

Anyone who knows me know’s I’m an animal lover – so seeing all the cute ducks, swans and pelicans was sweet, the pigeons not so much- I hate it when things fly near me! This duck was so funny, doesn’t it just look like he’s posing for the camera?! He turned around, looked at me, tilted his head then started walking towards me – I think he was hoping for food, but we had none… sorry Mr Duck.

Berkay was trying to get the pigeons to sit on his arm, ewwwww. A nearby man who was obviously a regular at the park spotted him and gave him a handful of bird seed from a huge sack he had, he told him to hold his hand down low and feed the birds… and he did! Look how happy he looks, he’s an animal lover too.

We spotted some squirrels who were surprisingly not shy at all – they were obviously used to being photographed as I held my camera literally an inch away from his face and he just sat there eating his nut…cute!

When we came to the end of the park, we could see Buckingham Palace, or ‘The Queen’s house’ as Berkay calls it. We made our way over and dont the typical touristy things, took a photo of the guard, took a photo of each other standing outside the gates.. thought about popping in to visit my old mukka Queenie for some tea and scones…

There’s something about London that makes you feel patriotic. I’m not the least bit patrotic normally, I’m normally moaning about the country, but standing outside Buckingham Palace and looking out accross The Mall, seeing all the Union Jack flags – it really made me feel..well… British.

We walked to St James Park station, again relying on my phone’s GPS to guide us, what a lifesaver that was – and got off at Leicester Square. It was really busy with street performers, people laying on the benches and grass, there was even a dog playing in the water fountain – sweet! One of the street performers was a magician, he had a little mouse with him… we missed most of the act, but at the end he put his little pet mouse on the floor and let everyone go and stroke it. ‘Please be careful with her’ he said … it melted my heart! Nothing cuter than a man and his pet mouse hehe!

The main reason we were at Leicester Square was for M&M’s world! I’ve been to the one in New York before while I was there on a school trip, but I’d never been to the London one. The smell when you walk in … oh.my.god. Chocolate heaven! After a while it all looks the same, and you get sick of seeing all the overpriced merchandise – but some of it is cute. I think I purchased the cheaperst thing in the shop – a £3.50 fluffy m&m purse. There are giant M&M statues all around the store – all 4 levels of it – making for some perfect photo opportunities..

The best part about the whole place are the walls with tubes stacked full of M&M’s in every single colour possible, chocolate ones, peanut ones, crispy ones… ahhh, I’ve just realised I still have some left over from the bag we made up – as soon as I finish this post I’m going to tuck into them!

After a good 45 minutes in chocolate heaven, we walked all the way to Oxford Street – and to the massive Primark. We didn’t get much, a few bits for our friends baby twins, and a pretty awesome pug duvet cover for me. What’s the point of having birthday money if you can’t spend it eh?

We met up with my dad, stepmum, brother and sister for dinner. We all went to a little Indian restaurant near Aldgate, in London. It was really yummy.. Berkay went for a hot dish and think he regretted it later!

How cute is my baby sister? ❤ She adores Berkay.. and me. She follows me around like a little sheep when I come home from work. Bless. She gave me lots of birthday cuddles, and helped me show off one of my birthday presents- a sweet picture for my wall made by my step mum. A photo of me, Berkay and Boncuk and the word ‘Happiness’ – that says it all.

Goodbye all over again..

Posted on April 20, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

When I woke up yesterday morning I knew it was going to be a long, hard day.
The atmosphere for the past 3-4 days was different, reality set in for both of us that Berkay would be going back to Turkey soon – and everything just felt strange.

Berkay packing his suitcase
My alarm went off at 0930, and when I realised what day it was I just wanted to bury my head in my pillow and go back to sleep. We got up, got ready, had some toast, finished packing his suitcase and were out of the house and on the way to the airport by 11.30. Dad drove us and my brother and little sister came too.

saying bye to my sister… 😦
After getting a bit lost, we arrived at Luton at 13.15 and went straight to check-in. Seeing all the excited people going on their holidays just makes it all the more depressing. He checked in, dropped his bag off and then we all went and had Burger King…

Then it was time to say goodbye. We all walked up the stairs to departures, my dad, brother and little sister gave Berkay a hug, then went downstairs and left me and Berkay to hug it out… we both shed a little tear, said bye, and then he went through the departures door and the point of no return…

The goodbyes NEVER get easier. Nothing will compare to the goodbye I faced when leaving my house, dog and Berkay behind when moving back to the UK, that was the worst day of my life – but everytime we say goodbye it’s the same feelings all over again. Not knowing when I’ll see him again makes it worse – there’s nothing to look forward to or countdown to.

Having my little sister there this time made it a little better – she’s a good distraction. She kept saying ‘Bye Berkay…come on Dan come downstairs, you’re not going back to Turkey as well are you? I want you to stay here and play with me!’ – cute. Berkay isn’t planning on coming back to the UK for a few years – so the next time he sees her she’ll be a lot older 😦

The blog post I wrote about saying goodbye last time he went in January sums up my feelings again exactly. There is nothing more to add really. It’s just not fair.

I suppose the only good thing to come out of long distance relationships is that you do cherish every moment – you have to.

I do have some good posts about our last few days together which will all be posted over this Easter weekend.

Happy Easter everybody. ❤