Last day at the office, passports & baby cows..

Posted on May 23, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

While the summer season may just be starting in Turkey – it appears the 4 days of summer we had here in London last week are well and truly over – we’ve had rain, hail stones, thunderstorms, buildings being hit by lightening and lots and lots of puddles today in the city!

I cannot believe that it is the 22nd of May today. Nor can I believe that I’ve been at my job for 3 and a half months, and that tomorrow is my last day at work in the office.

Come 17:00 tomorrow, I’ll be jobless, through choice of course. I was planning to go to Turkey as soon as possible after I leave, but I’m stuck here at the moment as I haven’t got my passport back yet! I applied 3 weeks ago, have chased them with an email and spent an hour in total on hold to the helpline today – all I got was a stupid robot telling me to hold, and then cutting me off! I guess now is the busy time for passport applications – people wanting to book their holidays and get their passports back in plenty of time. I’ve been dying to book my flight, especially as Monarch and FlyThomasCook have had amazing sales on this week – I saw the flight I wanted for 2nd June for £49,99 + baggage. Bargain! Unfortunately, even £50-70 is a lot to risk on a flight that I may not be able to get if my passport isn’t here in time, so I didn’t book it.

I’m hoping it’ll be back soon. It’s pointless being here not earning any money, I may as well be there! It still doesn’t feel real that I’m going back – I’ve got nothing organised really and it just hasn’t sunk in yet – perhaps it will once I have a flight booked!

In other news – Boncuk is still behaving in the hotel, everyone has fallen in love with her! Fingers crossed she keeps being good so that she can stay. Look how beautiful and elegant she is! ❤

Berkay has been busy at the hotel this week – not with guests, but with helping a cow give birth to a calf … how random. He was walking Boncuk outside the hotel when he saw the mummy cow in the field next door….”I helped born a little cow” he said – he now affectionately calls said calf his ‘daughter’. Haha…bless.

Hopefully the next time I do a post it’ll be say I’ve booked my flight! Hadi passport, HADI!

Turkish restaurant in London.

Posted on May 12, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

While Berkay was in England last month, we took a trip to a Turkish restaurant in London. It was amazing!

We went to the Efes restaurant on Commercial Road (click HERE for their website), which was recommended by my dad. Don’t get too excited by the name – they didn’t serve any alcohol at all.

It looked quite impressive from the outside, we thought it was going to be expensive, but we were pleasantly surprised! We had a table booked for 7pm, and it was a good job it was booked because when we walked in it was really very busy!

Berkay’s eyes lit up as soon as he walked in and saw the waiters rushing around serving plates full of all the Turkish food he knows and loves, meanwhile all I could concentrate on was the HUGE glass cabinet full of baklava that I could see staring at me! Mmmmm.

The waiters and waitresses were all Turkish and came over to us expecting us to be English – Berkay started talking Turkish to them and they ended up having a ten minute conversation as is customary when Turks meet, all the usual stuff, where are you from, what do you do, where do you work, how much do you weigh? (seriously!) I was just sat trying to chose from the menu.

When the chat was over and I’d heard the normal ‘wow you look Turkish’ that everyone feels the need to tell me, we both decided on getting the Adana Kebab. I’d never had it before, but it was a good choice, although seeing other people’s orders of Pide being bought out made me wish I had chose that instead – it’s my favourite!

While we were waiting for it to be served, we got the typical bowls of bread, salad and dips bought out to the table, this is something I love most about Turkish food – bread is ALWAYS on the table, it was all free too.

We also ordered Lahmacun as I’d never tried it and wanted to, I figured it was almost like Pide, and only cost £2.50 so it was a no-brainer! I suppose it’s like a really thin pizza, it was yummy.

Before we even had a chance to finish the Lahmacun, our main dinner was bought out – Adana kebab. It was a big portion, two long pieces of spicy minced meat grilled over charcoal, rice, grilled tomato & pepper, and of course the big bowl of salad, bread and dips that we had left over from earlier. It was only £10.50 each. It probably sounds weird to say, but it all tasted so …. Turkish. Even the salad tastes exactly as it does out there, how do they do that, what’s the secret?!

The food was gorgeous, and left us absolutely stuffed. After a while, a woman dressed in traditional belly dancer costume came to offer us Turkish tea and of course we couldn’t resist. I thought it was cute how everything was Turkish, even down to the bottles of water and sugar cubes…

Despite being stuffed, I knew that I couldn’t possible leave the restaurant without having some baklava. £4 for 3 pieces it said – I would have quite happily paid more. They bought it out on a little dish, two normal pieces, and one chocolate, but you really can’t beat the normal one, especially with a glass of cay.

Once we polished off the baklava, and Berkay had told his life story to another of the waiters, we asked for the bill, expecting it to be around £30-35 after having two kebabs, two cokes, water, two teas and baklava – but they had only charged us £22. I guess having long conversations and telling life stories to waiters sometimes pays off! We would have happily paid more, because it really was delicious. It made me miss Turkey all the more.

On our way home, we decided to take the long, scenic route as it was our last night together and neither of us could face going home to pack his suitcase yet. I put my GPS on my phone and used google maps to walk from the restaurant to London Bridge station and posed to take photos of Tower Bridge on the way. It took about 45 minutes. Funny story – on the way to the station we got stopped by some foreign tourists looking for a hotel, normally my shy-self would have just said ‘Sorry, don’t know’, but I was feeling especially happy after my Turkish good, so I got my phone GPS back out and typed in the name they wanted – as it happened it was only a 2 minute walk away and they were really grateful – it’s nice to be helpful. (:

We had a lovely last evening together and Berkay now says this restaurant is his new favourite – even better than Nandos! Anyone who knows how much he loves Nandos will know this is a big deal!

Now I just can’t wait to get back to Turkey and eat this food more often. Eeeeeek.

London with Berkay – part 2

Posted on April 23, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

I posted part 1 of my birthday day out in London yesterday, and as promised, here is part 2.

On our way to Buckingham Palace, we found ourselves at St.James Park. It was a lovely sunny afternoon and it was absolutely gorgeous walking through the park at this time of the day. There were beautiful yellow daffodils, blossom on the trees, flowers growing, green grass- beautiful! The lake looked lovely with the water fountain and ‘duck island’ in the middle.

Anyone who knows me know’s I’m an animal lover – so seeing all the cute ducks, swans and pelicans was sweet, the pigeons not so much- I hate it when things fly near me! This duck was so funny, doesn’t it just look like he’s posing for the camera?! He turned around, looked at me, tilted his head then started walking towards me – I think he was hoping for food, but we had none… sorry Mr Duck.

Berkay was trying to get the pigeons to sit on his arm, ewwwww. A nearby man who was obviously a regular at the park spotted him and gave him a handful of bird seed from a huge sack he had, he told him to hold his hand down low and feed the birds… and he did! Look how happy he looks, he’s an animal lover too.

We spotted some squirrels who were surprisingly not shy at all – they were obviously used to being photographed as I held my camera literally an inch away from his face and he just sat there eating his nut…cute!

When we came to the end of the park, we could see Buckingham Palace, or ‘The Queen’s house’ as Berkay calls it. We made our way over and dont the typical touristy things, took a photo of the guard, took a photo of each other standing outside the gates.. thought about popping in to visit my old mukka Queenie for some tea and scones…

There’s something about London that makes you feel patriotic. I’m not the least bit patrotic normally, I’m normally moaning about the country, but standing outside Buckingham Palace and looking out accross The Mall, seeing all the Union Jack flags – it really made me feel..well… British.

We walked to St James Park station, again relying on my phone’s GPS to guide us, what a lifesaver that was – and got off at Leicester Square. It was really busy with street performers, people laying on the benches and grass, there was even a dog playing in the water fountain – sweet! One of the street performers was a magician, he had a little mouse with him… we missed most of the act, but at the end he put his little pet mouse on the floor and let everyone go and stroke it. ‘Please be careful with her’ he said … it melted my heart! Nothing cuter than a man and his pet mouse hehe!

The main reason we were at Leicester Square was for M&M’s world! I’ve been to the one in New York before while I was there on a school trip, but I’d never been to the London one. The smell when you walk in … oh.my.god. Chocolate heaven! After a while it all looks the same, and you get sick of seeing all the overpriced merchandise – but some of it is cute. I think I purchased the cheaperst thing in the shop – a £3.50 fluffy m&m purse. There are giant M&M statues all around the store – all 4 levels of it – making for some perfect photo opportunities..

The best part about the whole place are the walls with tubes stacked full of M&M’s in every single colour possible, chocolate ones, peanut ones, crispy ones… ahhh, I’ve just realised I still have some left over from the bag we made up – as soon as I finish this post I’m going to tuck into them!

After a good 45 minutes in chocolate heaven, we walked all the way to Oxford Street – and to the massive Primark. We didn’t get much, a few bits for our friends baby twins, and a pretty awesome pug duvet cover for me. What’s the point of having birthday money if you can’t spend it eh?

We met up with my dad, stepmum, brother and sister for dinner. We all went to a little Indian restaurant near Aldgate, in London. It was really yummy.. Berkay went for a hot dish and think he regretted it later!

How cute is my baby sister? ❤ She adores Berkay.. and me. She follows me around like a little sheep when I come home from work. Bless. She gave me lots of birthday cuddles, and helped me show off one of my birthday presents- a sweet picture for my wall made by my step mum. A photo of me, Berkay and Boncuk and the word ‘Happiness’ – that says it all.

Goodbye all over again..

Posted on April 20, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

When I woke up yesterday morning I knew it was going to be a long, hard day.
The atmosphere for the past 3-4 days was different, reality set in for both of us that Berkay would be going back to Turkey soon – and everything just felt strange.

Berkay packing his suitcase
My alarm went off at 0930, and when I realised what day it was I just wanted to bury my head in my pillow and go back to sleep. We got up, got ready, had some toast, finished packing his suitcase and were out of the house and on the way to the airport by 11.30. Dad drove us and my brother and little sister came too.

saying bye to my sister… 😦
After getting a bit lost, we arrived at Luton at 13.15 and went straight to check-in. Seeing all the excited people going on their holidays just makes it all the more depressing. He checked in, dropped his bag off and then we all went and had Burger King…

Then it was time to say goodbye. We all walked up the stairs to departures, my dad, brother and little sister gave Berkay a hug, then went downstairs and left me and Berkay to hug it out… we both shed a little tear, said bye, and then he went through the departures door and the point of no return…

The goodbyes NEVER get easier. Nothing will compare to the goodbye I faced when leaving my house, dog and Berkay behind when moving back to the UK, that was the worst day of my life – but everytime we say goodbye it’s the same feelings all over again. Not knowing when I’ll see him again makes it worse – there’s nothing to look forward to or countdown to.

Having my little sister there this time made it a little better – she’s a good distraction. She kept saying ‘Bye Berkay…come on Dan come downstairs, you’re not going back to Turkey as well are you? I want you to stay here and play with me!’ – cute. Berkay isn’t planning on coming back to the UK for a few years – so the next time he sees her she’ll be a lot older 😦

The blog post I wrote about saying goodbye last time he went in January sums up my feelings again exactly. There is nothing more to add really. It’s just not fair.

I suppose the only good thing to come out of long distance relationships is that you do cherish every moment – you have to.

I do have some good posts about our last few days together which will all be posted over this Easter weekend.

Happy Easter everybody. ❤

Busy, Birthdays & Brad

Posted on April 13, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

I’ve been so busy I don’t have time to update here much! I had a 4 day working-week this week as it was my birthday on Friday so I took the day off!

Me and Berkay went to London for the day and had a really good time, I’ll be doing a big post about that tomorrow, hopefully, with lots of photos!

Today though, we spent the day at mums house. She picked us up this morning and bought us to her house where a pile of presents, birthday cake and a balloon were waiting for me! Can always rely on mum for birthday celebrations hehe. They got me some lovely presents, including this Frozen Dvd, box of Ferrero Rocher and bag of chocolates, which apparently were from her Shih Tzu, Brad, as we are currently dog-sitting him until tomorrow evening – Mum and her husband have gone to London for the night and tomorrow to cheer on runners at the Marathon!

Before they went out, we all went to Nandos this afternoon, surprisingly it’s only the second time Berkay has been there in the two and a half weeks he’s been here! It’s his favourite place. I was feeling pretty festive so wore my new Easter t-shirt, why not wear cute chickens on your clothes while tucking into some tasty Nandos chicken eh? 😉

After our Nandos we came back home and had birthday cake! Don’t ask why it’s Spongebob – mum saw it and thought of me as I’m a little strange haha Who doesn’t love spongebob? Minions are favourite thing but she couldn’t find a cake version of one of those- instead she bought these little sugar paper cake toppers and stuck them on some little cupcakes herself – how cute, I love them!!\

Mum’s wedding was 2 weeks ago today, but she picked up the photos from the photographer today so we spent some time this afternoon looking through those – they turned out really cute, I love the ones of me and Berkay.

The one of mum and Berkay makes me smile too – how cute is this? Real happy faces.

We’ve just spent the evening watching Britain’s got Talent, Frozen, eating chocolate and looking after Brad the dog. We’re just about to go off to bed, the dog is spoilt and usually always sleeps on it with me so it’ll be interesting to see how two people and a dog squish on the sofabed.. I’ll look forward to my 6am wake up call for his morning pee-walk.

As promised, I’ll be back tomorrow with the photos from London… and trust me there are hundreds. I also haven’t forgotten about my 100,000 views giveaway, I’m planning to do an update about that next week if I have time. I’m trying to make the most of the last 6 days I have with Berkay…

Goodnight all ❤

ROLLERCOASTERS!

Posted on April 8, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

On Saturday Berkay & I decided to go for a little trip out. We were planning to get the train to Southend to have a walk along the sea front, visit the aquarium and go on the rides at adventure island, but after looking into it, and realising what would normally be a 45-60 minute car journey was going to take 2.5 hours and cost £40 on the train – late on Friday night we decided we’d go to Thorpe Park instead. It’s crazy to think that this actually worked out slightly cheaper, as it’s 100 x better!

We caught the 8:30 am train from our town to London Waterloo, then another train from Waterloo to Staines. Then we got the shuttle bus from Staines station to Thorpe Park, which was only 10 mins down the road! I was suprised at how quick the journey was, it only took an hour and a half to get there altogether, but it seemed a lot quicker. I’m also pretty impressed that I didn’t get us lost once.

When we arrived Berkay got concerned about the HUGE line of people queuing to get tickets, luckily, we paid for ours online the night before and printed them out so literally walked straight in past the massive line of people and through the ticket scanners.

We went on a few ‘tame’ rides first of all to warm Berkay up, then we attempted the bigg’uns! We queued for an hour and a half to get onto the next ride – Colossus. I can’t believe we waited so long really, not sure if it were really worth it, but we did get back row seats – nothing quite like sitting at the front or back of a big rollercoaster!

After that we went to go and get some lunch, but on the way we spotted a ride with no queue whatsoever – not even one person. So we made our way over to that. Now I’ve been to Thorpe Park before, so I knew what to expect- but it didn’t take Berkay long to figure out why exactly there was no queue for this ride on a grey, not-too-warm, April day in Surrey…

The ride in question was ‘Tidal Wave’ – clue is in the name really isn’t it? Up we went in the boat, sat in the front row I must add, we got to the top, the boat went around towards the steep drop and baaaam, it all became clear to Berkay – the huge tidal wave splash flowing into the boat was pretty much like having a shower, we were SOAKED, that’s why nobody else was queuing – who wants to be wet and cold during an English Spring?! I bet the ride is really popular in summer though! This is my favourite ride in the whole place – I’ve always loved it because of the theme, 1950’s American fishing village hit by a tsunami- the surrounding area of this ride all blends in well, all the buildings look like they’ve been hit by the ‘tidal wave’ – including the KFC we went into for lunch, the roof is all caved in and wonky with a giant shark poking through the building! I love the 1950’s theme going on – reminds me of Grease, which incidentally I’m currently watching on tv!

After KFC for lunch, we went to the other side of the park and went on the water raft ride – a nice tame one to keep our KFC safely in our tummies. After that – the spinning teacups – and after that … the big one… Stealth!

The queue for this ride was suprisingly not as long as I thought it would be – we only waited 45 minutes, and it’s arguably the most popular ride at the park. You really can’t quite comprehend how tall or impressive it is until you’re standing underneath it and hear the gas propelling the coaster, the roar of the cars on the tracks and the screams of everyone riding in it. It accelerates from 0-80mph in 1.8 seconds – impressive! If you’re not quite sat in the right position as it takes off up the track though, you really feel it, the first time it jolted my neck and hurt for a while.

When your feet are firmly on the ground watching it climb over the tip of the arch, there’s always that bit of doubt in your mind that it might not have enough power to make it quite over and end up rolling back down – something which apparently it is designed to do safely – but that would be scary to experience! When you’re on the ride at the top, all you can see all around you is sky and cloud – no track – not the car in front – just sky. Berkay loved this so much the first time that when we spotted a sign later on in the day advising that the waiting time was currently only 5 minutes for this one – we took advantage and went back on it for a second time!

After that we headed for the newest ride at the park – which was really cool and well designed – apparently it cost £200 MILLION to create. Ouch! The whole area is themed around ‘unexplained incidents’ and riots/war – with a very realistic looking plane crash, upside down burnt out emergency vehicles etc etc. We loved this one so much we went on it twice too!

Berkay tried to win me a giant minion teddy as we saw literally HUNDREDS of people walking around the park with them after winning them from the typical things – climb the ladder, basketball shooting etc etc, but it appears we’re just not lucky – he must’ve spent about £20 trying to win one! ):

After realising that the shortest queues of the day for the big coasters were after 5pm when most people had already gone home – we managed to squeeze in a couple more big rollercoaster rides before heading home. Berkay absolutely loved them and we had a really great day.

We caught the shuttle bus back to Staines station and spotted a little Chinese/Indian buffet restaurant and took a little detour in there for some dinner. It was soo yummy – especially the cakes for dessert! Mmmmm. After that, we headed home via London Waterloo – I love how old that station looks with the massive clock in the middle! We were so tired and achey from all the walking and being bashed around on rides that as soon as we got home we went to bed, but we had a really fab day, glad we chose to go there, even if it was a last minute decision!

Reunited again!

Posted on March 31, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Massive apologies for not updating sooner, I’ve had people message me asking if Berkay arrived safely, wondering where the airport photo was etc etc, but I’ve been SO busy I hadn’t had chance to reply!

Berkay did arrive safely on Wednesday evening ❤

He left at 4.15 pm Turkish time, but not before having a little goodbye cuddle with Boncuk!

Me, dad, my brother and sister all went off to Gatwick airport after I finished work. Berkay was due to arrive at 18:30 and landed 15minutes early, when we got there we sat and had a coffee while waiting for the arrivals board to change to ”baggage in hall” then that was our cue to head towards the arrival doors!

My little sister was so excited, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so crazy! In the car on the way there she was singing “we’re gonna get Berkay, we’re gonna get Berkay, we’re gonna get Berkay” to a little tune. So adorable! When we got to the airport she didn’t want to sit down with us, she kept saying to me “come on let’s go and get Berkay now yea? Come on Dan, let’s go and get Berkay!”

Just as we headed over to the arrival doors, he appeared through them with his suitcase. My little sister went over to him and gave him a cuddle, then wouldn’t let him put her down. Kept talking to him, telling him that it’s her birthday soon, that she’ll be 3 soon and that he can play with her presents with her, he had to sit with her in the middle of the car, open her car door..etc etc. He’s definitely her favourite person at the moment!

❤ ❤ ❤
Over 320 people liked this photo on Facebook, I’m amazed at the amount of people who care and have sent lovely messages or comments. Thanks to all.

After we had picked Berkay up, we headed home to pick up my step-mum and then we all went out for dinner – anyone who follows me on Facebook or is a regular reader of my blog will know that Berkay’s favourite place is Nandos…. so of course that is where we all went to eat! Yum!

He bought lots of Turkish goodies with him, bless him, he went out and got all my favourite things, one being this big face biscuit from Migros, something I always used to get on ‘market day’ when I lived there! He thought of my dad and grandad too and bought them back some Efes in his suitcase.

It’s been lovely having Berkay back, the only part I’m not enjoying is the snoring – sometimes I really feel like shoving a pillow on his head, it’s terrible, and it definitely takes some adjusting to having to share the bed with someone, we’re both used to starfishing and end up fighting for the duvet or having one leg hanging off the bed!

I was off work on Friday as I had last minute things to do, buying wedding and mother’s day presents for Mum and a birthday present for my little sister… and yesterday was the day of my Mum’s wedding so I’ll do a post about that soon. It’s back to work tomorrow… I still hate it as much as ever, but knowing Berkay is waiting for me when I come home makes everything that little bit more bearable!

7 more days…

Posted on March 20, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

So, it’s currently 10pm on Wednesday, which means that this time next week, providing there are no long delays, Berkay will have landed at Gatwick and we’ll be together once again! (:

I guess that’s a good thing about being apart, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ and all that? Not entirely true, but being apart means that when we are together again its always new and exciting. There is no better feeling than waiting in the arrivals section of the airport as close to the doors as possible, watching as the doors slide open and waiting anxiously for their face to appear. Knowing that their imminent arrival means the months apart is about to be erased in that single split second moment when you’re reunited. When you’re waiting it feels like a lifetime, and when their face finally does appear through the doors, the feeling is indescribable.

I read a quote recently, ”Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.” How true is that? Has anyone seen that tv programme that was aired a few years ago? ”Hello, Goodbye” (Click HERE to read more about it, with a brilliant description of the other side of airports!) I loved that programme. A simple concept, cameras placed at the airport in arrivals and departures, filming couples, families and friends saying goodbye to their loved ones as they set off on a journey somewhere, or, the best part, filming when others have been reuined after long periods apart. Airports are emotional places, there’s no denying it. Most people see airports as exciting places, the minute they step foot in one their holiday begins. Its the first stepping stone to sitting on that beach, beer in hand and sun on your face… But for me it’s bittersweet, the excitement of arriving, and the heartbreak of leaving again. When I moved to Turkey it was always exciting coming back to England, seeing family, then there were always tears from everyone when we left again, and now obviously it’s the same, only Berkay is the one coming and going. I’m not one to show my emotions in public, rarely cry in front of other people, yet the airport is always the one place that gets me.

For now, I’m just looking forward to 18.35 next Wednesday when Berkay will once again land on English soil (: 7 more sleeps and counting.

I hope to update my blog a lot more when Berkay is here, and I’d like to do something special when I reach 100,000 views, if anyone has any ideas? Perhaps another giveaway, something better?
I’d also like to say a massive thanks to everyone commenting or sending me facebook messages after reading my blog posts. I know I’m terrible at replying, I just don’t have time at the moment. But I read every single one, and welcome and appreciate all comments. I promise to reply in the next few days. ❤

Worry, worry, worry…

Posted on March 9, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s Sunday evening, and I’m sat in my bedroom utterly depressed. Monday tomorrow, which I’m sure everyone else who works 9-5 Monday to Friday shall agree, sucks. Monday should be a swear word. In fact, from now on I shall star out the letters. Screw you, M****y.

I’ve been at this job a month, and still hate it as much as my first day.
Despite hating every second of it, I was relieved when I was told by my manager that as far as he was concerned, they would keep me on for longer than 3 months, which they have now said isn’t true as there isn’t enough funding for the new role. So it’s back to square one. Spending my days doing a job I hate, and evenings and weekends back looking for a permanent job earning £18k in London. I applied for 200+ between October – January, and only ever got a reply from one, which was a no. I’m hoping this 3 months experience I will now have will help, but in reality, I’m not so sure it will. I’m sick of it all. I’m not passionate about any career in particular, I never have been. When I was 18 I had an unconditional offer for a university place,achieved 2 A’s and a B at A Levels, and was a fully pledged geek. Instead of taking the opportunity to go to university to study psychology, what did I do? Give it all up and worked 20 hours a week at Sainsbury’s. Clearly I don’t have my head screwed on correctly, because who in their right mind would make that choice? It’s a no-brainer isn’t it? The truth is, I only even applied for university to keep other people happy, because that’s what I was supposed to be doing. I never really wanted to. I should have stuck to my guns this time, and never took an office job. The only job I’m passionate about doing, is working with young children, or animals, neither of which pays much money, and neither of which will get me earning enough to get Berkay to the UK, not in the foreseeable future anyway.

People have commented before about doing a TEFL course and being able to teach English in Turkey, possibly allowing me to get a work permit, it’s not as easy as that though, and from people who already have these jobs, most places require CELTA qualifications, which are much much more expensive, and I’m not even remotely confident enough in myself to teach at a foreign school. I do intend to do a TEFL course soon though.

I’ve had conversations with my family this week about the immigration rules requiring me to be earning £18,600. All they kept saying before I moved back here was ‘you’ll walk straight into a job earning that money’, 6 months and 3 jobs later, here I am, unsurprisingly not earning that.Through these conversations, what I have gathered is that they see nothing wrong with these rules at all. It frustrates me. I’m not saying the world and it’s mother should have free rights to jump on a plane to the UK and enter freely, not at all. I’m just saying that it should be assessed in a fairer way, back to the old rules of the spouse having to show an extra £100 a week after outgoings to show they can afford another person living with them. Someone earning £18,600 could have outgoings of £18,600 a year, or be seriously in debt, whilst someone earning £16,000 may have outgoings of £12,000 a year. Who is in the better position then? Who has the right to decide which people deserve to live with their partners and children, based on income alone? Hell, reports have shown 48% of the UK’s population don’t earn £18,600, are you really telling me those 48% don’t have the right to live with who they want?

Away from the job and visa side of things, I have a new worry constantly on my mind. Boncuk. She’s staying with Berkay in the hotel at the moment, as it’s closed for winter and she is able to roam freely around the grounds. In summer, the hotel owner wants her gone as she’ll disturb guests by barking when seeing the lights, people and hearing the noise, which I can’t really argue with because I know she would do exactly that. This leaves us not knowing where she can go. Berkay has always taken care of her and took her with him to the hotel when he had nothing, he fed her before himself, sharing the only fish he’d caught with her so she’d eat well. We love her to pieces, and the thought of having to give her to someone else breaks my heart. Berkay was considering putting her in the kennels at the local vet, until they said they wanted 600tl a month for the privilege. 600tl a month out of his wages would leave him just 150tl a month to live on. Our own rent was only 350tl! I have gone to bed in tears twice this week after looking at the photos of the three of us, me, Berkay and Boncuk, and wishing with all my heart I could go back to those days. Giving Boncuk to a stranger, if we could even find someone to have her, would mean I never saw her again. I just can’t deal with that. We do have a kind of last resort, our friends said she can stay in their garden, but they only rent their apartment, and I’m worried Boncuk will get settled and used to them and then the landlord kick her out. I wish she could come here, I wish I could just fly out and get her and bring her back, but realistically that’s not possible either. £750 to fly or drive her back, and then still the issue of finding her a home here. My parents won’t let her stay here, not a chance in hell, I’ve asked and begged several times. She’s an outside dog, hates being indoors and isn’t even toilet trained, so I’d need to be able to find, afford and rent a ground floor flat or house with a garden to keep her in. What are the chances of that? I need to put her first, but I’ve always been adamant we’ll do everything we can to keep her with us. She’s our dog, we found her, took her in and she trusts us. Never in a million years would I dump her on the street, and finding a new home would be heartbreaking for both her, and us. What do to?

Honestly, life at the moment is just one big mess. I don’t even have anything positive to say. I don’t know what to do, say, feel.

It’s 2.5 weeks until Berkay is here, but that too, is bittersweet. When I’ve published this post I’m off to book his flight back to Turkey for 19th April. He’s not even here yet and I’m already thinking about and dreading him going back.

For now, I’m taking it one day at a time. Making the most of this Sunday evening before the hell of M****y hits.
Have a good week everybody.

31 days, 1 hour and 18 minutes..

Posted on February 23, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Last week was probably the hardest week I’ve had since I came back to England, and I’m not entirely sure why.

I found myself spending more time crying in the office toilets, than actually sat at my desk doing work for the first half of the week, and I’m not even exaggerating.

It would be easier if there was one thing bothering me, but there’s a whole list. New job that I’m not enjoying, not getting along with people, missing Berkay, wondering when I’ll next see him after April, wondering how I’ll afford it and be able to take time off, worrying about where Boncuk is going to stay in summer… The list is endless, but I can’t go into much detail because my blog is public and there are eyes I don’t want reading it.

It’s painfully obvious I’m not happy here anyway.

On the plus side, only 4.5 weeks until Berkay is back here. To be precise, it’s exactly 31 days, 1 hour and 18 mintues til he arrives 😉