Village life – Beyagac, Denizli.

Posted on May 31, 2017 by livingtheturkishdream

Village life in Turkey is totally different to city life or tourist resort life – there’s nothing quite like it and it’s like marmite, you either love it or you hate it!

Berkay’s family live in Beyağaç, a town in Denizli province, 2 hours away from Denizli city centre. It takes around 3.5 hours by car from Fethiye, and is a fairly straightforward drive. It’s pretty much in the middle of nowhere – surrounded by fields, mountains and forest. Most of the people who live in the village own their own fields and grow their own crops, tobacco plants, or keep farm animals. The views from the family home across the hillside are stunning.

Berkay’s family live in a small bungalow house up on a hill, a few minutes drive from the town centre. Their house has a lounge, kitchen, 2 bedrooms, wet room/toilet and outdoor toilet. Three people live in the house at the moment, Berkay’s Dad, Stepmum and half brother.
I’m going to be honest, I really struggle to cope when visiting, the lifestyle just isn’t for me. They just do things so differently. One example I can’t get my head around, is the sleeping situation. They do have one bed, but they mostly sleep on cushions on the floor, in one room together, and there’s no real night-time routine, they just go to bed in the clothes they’ve been in all day, wake up in the morning, put the cushion away and carry on the next day in the same clothes, just like taking a giant nap. I also have no idea where they keep their clothes as nobody seems to own wardrobes, or have any real personal space. The village is very traditional too, with the men going out to work, and spending the evenings playing okey or tavla while the women stay at home, cook and look after the children – I guess like the UK 60 years ago. Women and men seem to be separated a alot, too, with definite ‘no go’ areas for women, which isn’t easy when I try to follow Berkay everywhere, as I can’t understand ‘ village turkish’ to talk to anyone else – the dialect is so different.

Behind the house, they have sheds built for the animals. They have a lot of sheep, goats, cows, chickens, a guard dog, and of course our dog Boncuk! They use the animals for their eggs and milk. Berkay’s dad wakes up very early everyday to milk the cows – they even make their own yogurt, butter and cheese from it. They do use their own animals for meat, but only on special occasions, as they get more money for selling the livestock.

The family house is very simple, but it has everything they need, including a soba (wood burner) for heating in winter, cooker, washing machine and the slightly more suprising dishwasher and very nice Samsung fridge. From looking at the house, you would think they don’t have much money, a very simple lifestyle, bare minimum things. But this isn’t the case, they do have money, they just invest it in a lot of land, animals and business. Berkay’s father owns a animal feed business, supplying and delivering hundreds of bags of food and hay to houses every week, which as you can imagine in a farming community is a good business to own. I asked Berkay why they don’t improve their house rather than buy more land, as with the money they have they could really have a totally different lifestyle, but he said that things like that aren’t really important to the people in this village, they have what they need. Although I will never understand their lifestyle, I guess it’s something to admire – how they don’t place importance on such material things! Berkay has inherited that attitude to material things, too. I have to force him to buy clothes, as he’d be happy with 2 tshirts and a pair of jeans to last him years!

One thing you can definitely say, is that the Turkish people are very hospitable! The number of blankets Berkay’s stepmum has in the cupboard really made me smile – she has two cupboards piled up with spare cushions and duvets, so that guests can sleep – very prepared, she must’ve had about 30 different ones! They also will keep feeding you until you’re full enough to burst, and don’t take no for an answer. If you turn down a cup of Turkish tea, you can guarantee that you’ll get one anyway.

Dinner time is a little different in the village, instead of being seated around a dining room table on chairs, they eat every meal on the floor around a special ‘table’cloth. People joining them for dinner don’t have their own plates, but instead share from various sized metal dishes, each with a different food inside. Everyone has their own fork and spoon, but they don’t use knives, which sometimes proves troublesome when it comes to larger pieces! Everyone also drinks from the same water glass. The good thing about eating this way is you can eat as much or as little food as you want, without the pressure of wanting to empty your plate so as not to offend. I do like sitting on the floor to eat, but it does give you terrible pins and needles after a while! I suspect if someone has a cold the sharing thing isn’t so pleasant.

I love the different colours and patterns of the rugs they put on the floor, although it does baffle me why they don’t just buy the same kind. Underneath all these rugs and mats they have wooden floor, but it’s kept covered all winter and summer. I love the different patterns but it would drive someone with OCD crazy for sure.

The first day we were in the village, Berkay’s brother asked him to help deliver some hay, as part of the family business. I decided to go with him. Off we went in a big, rickety, dusty truck, to the huge barn where they keep the hay. Berkay and his brother filled up the truck with bales while I sat around the corner wondering what on earth I was doing. 24 hours before this moment, I had been sat in a 5* all inclusive hotel, and now I was sat in a pile of hay, covered in dust and surrounded by the smell of animal poo. What a difference a day makes! Certainly a tale of two halves, two totally different lifestyles and two totally different sets of people.

Later that evening , having recovered from the inital shock of village life which always hits me like a ton of bricks (or hay bales?), I wandered around the family farm and took a moment to appreciate the scenery. It is beautiful. I love this photo I took of the sun going down, greenhouse to the left, sheep shed to the right, pile of fire wood in the foreground, and bird soaring in the background.

Dinner time provided entertainment in the form of Boncuk. We all sat outside on the patio to enjoy chicken cooked on the fire, with a special guest peeping her head over the wall behind Berkay’s dad, hoping for some leftovers! Can you spot her? She looked so funny, every now and then her little head would just pop up, until someone threw her a piece. Adorable.

The next morning, me and Berkay decided to go for a mini-adventure to a view point across Beyağaç. As we were getting in the car, Boncuk jumped in and joined us, so we took her too. Everytime we visit the village we come up to this point as it provides lovely panoramic views. This time there was a new addition to the view – 3 old, falling apart arm chairs. Interesting. I guess fly tipping is a universal problem! It did make a good photo though.

Berkay drove along to the next village, Yeniçeşme , to show me the house he was born in, I took a photo of the building, which is now falling apart but still inhabited, I love the fact you can see Boncuk in the wing mirror! Berkay kept pointing out places he used to go with his friends as a child, fields he used to work in, and things his Grandad built like the village water source. Berkay always speaks highly of his grandparents, they raised him as a baby as his mother and dad abandoned him when he was only 28 days old, he’s still not seen his mother since and knows nothing about her, and although he is on speaking terms with his dad, he definitely had a stronger bond with his grandparents, who have both now passed away, he showed me the cemetery they’re both in too.

Back at the family home, I had a walk around finding interesting things to photograph – you’re never far away from something with a story behind it! These red peppers are picked when they’re in season, and hung out to dry out in the summer, then they’re used in stews and other dishes when not normally readily available. Aside from their main purpose, I think they make great decorations!

After dinner, despite being stuffed, plates of walnuts, biscuits, popcorn and tea were bought out. The funniest thing was Berkay’s stepmum breaking the biscuit in half and dipping it into her glass of cay, its the equivalent of dipping a rich tea in a mug of PG tips, I’d never seen a Turkish person do that before so I giggled to myself – seems like us Brits have a rival for our tea and biscuits!

That night, we visited Berkay’s brother’s girlfriend and her family about an hour away. Upon telling her of my love of baggy village pants, they went to their stash, ironed a pair and gave them to me in a bag as a gift, along with a pair of crocheted slippers they had made – it took so many attempts to find a pair that would fit me, I felt like Cinderella! Another fine example of their hospitality.

The following morning, we said goodbye to the family, and Boncuk, and got ready for the drive to Denizli city centre. The photo below is of us with Berkay’s brother just before we said bye – my eyes were red and blotchy after bawling my eyes out saying bye to Boncuk 10 minutes before hand. I’ve deliberately left her out of this post and will do a whole new post about her, she’s so cute she deserves her own one!

Village life in Beyağaç is so different than anything I’m used to. It’s way beyond my comprehension, but it is interesting and always provides me with plenty of funny stories! I could never live there myself, but after the initial shock, it’s not too hard to settle in to the way of life, become a bit more comfortable and embrace it – however, it is always a bit of a relief to leave again at the end of the visit, even with blurry eyes from teary goodbyes.

Şeker Bayramı

Posted on July 4, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

For the past month Muslims all over the world have been participating in Ramadan, the Islamic holy month of fasting. After a month of fasting from sunrise to sunset, they celebrate the end of Ramadan with a festival known as ‘Şeker Bayramı’ (sweet/sugar festival) or Eid al-Fitr.

The festival begins at sundown on the last day of Ramadan, which this year is today. After the call to prayer at sundown, people break their fast for the last time and the celebrations begin.

In Turkey, generally the most important day of the holiday is the first full day, which will be tomorrow, 5th July. Families will wake up early in the morning, get washed, clean and wear new or their best clothes, the men then go to mosque for their Eid prayer. Many will donate money to poor or needy people as an act of charity. The holiday period is seen as a chance to forget any grudges or issues with people and to forgive, forget and move on. It’s customary for the younger members of the family to visit their elders, neighbours and friends and wish them “İyi Bayramlar”. They greet their elders by kissing their right hand then raise it to their forehead, if you have Turkish relatives you’ll know what I’m talking about! There will have been days of preparation beforehand with houses being thoroughly cleaned, traditional desserts like Baklava being cooked and new clothes purchased. In the days leading up to bayram the supermarkets are VERY busy with people stocking up on sweets and chocolate to give their visitors, hence the name of the festival literally translates to ‘sugar/sweet holiday’.

Aspects of the festive period reminds me of a cross between Easter and Halloween. Of course they are very different celebrations for very different purposes, but there are similarities – traditionally at Easter children would be given new clothes to wear and obviously there’s the giving of the chocolate eggs. During bayram the children often knock on their neighbours doors and are given sweets and chocolates or even money, similar to Halloween.

How will it affect your holiday to Turkey?
Usually, during the whole 3 days of bayram, government buildings, banks and offices are closed. This year, the public holiday lasts 9 whole days (including weekends) and a lot of official places will be closed for the whole duration. ATM machines are likely to run out of cash – so if you need some, get it as early as possible. Most of the shops, bars and restaurants in resorts will remain open as they have to make money. You may wish to greet people in shops, hotel staff or waiters with wishes for bayram such as: “Bayramınız kutlu olsun” / “Bayramınız mübarek olsun”– may your holiday be blessed, or “Mutlu Bayramlar” – happy holidays.

It’s normal for the roads to be very busy at this time of year as families go on a mini vacation to resorts or to visit family and friends in other towns and cities, coaches and buses are likely to be full and you may notice that there are a lot more Turkish people and cars in your holiday resort during this time, beaches are busier and hotels are full. It’s advised to avoid travelling if you can, even the small dolmus’ are likely to get very busy, and that’s never fun in this heat. In general, it shouldn’t affect your holiday too much, just be aware of the celebrations going on, you may be offered sweets and it could be considered rude if you decline. The atmosphere in general will be happy, with plenty of excited children running around!

Berkay gets no time off whatsoever during Bayram, in fact it’s quite the opposite, he’s likely to be working harder and longer with more guests staying at the hotel. So really, for him the holiday period will be just like any other day! He did send over a little package with some bayram chocolates (along with baggy pants and one of our wedding albums) for me though, so I will enjoy eating those and doing my part to celebrate 😉

Izmir & the English test..

Posted on June 30, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

This morning straight after finishing his night shift at the hotel Berkay headed to Fethiye Otogar and got the bus to Izmir.

The journey takes 5hours and 45minutes, so it’s quite far away and not the usual place he’d spend the day – he only went because that is where he needs to sit his English exam tomorrow morning.

This English exam is really the first step to applying for his visa to join me in the UK. The whole process is very long, very expensive and very time consuming, but as part of the requirements he has to pass the IELTS English life skills A1 test. It has to be taken at specific visa approved test centres in major cities like Izmir, Istanbul, Antalya, Ankara etc, and although Antalya is slightly nearer, Izmir was the only place with a slot available within the next few weeks, so that’s where he had travel to.

He was quite willing to get the nightbus, travel all night and arrive in the early hours of the morning and wait outside for the test centre to open but I convinced him to book into a hotel overnight so he could relax and get a good night’s sleep before the big exam at 9am Friday morning. He has a good knowledge of English, very understandable but not fluent, so he has spent weeks practicing for the exam, watching sample tests on YouTube and downloading English teaching ebooks on his phone to listen to while he sleeps. I’ve tried to help him as much as I can but I think he’s really nervous about it – he FaceTime’d me from his hotel room tonight panicking a bit and had all his pens, pencils, rubber and blank sheets of paper ready just in case, even though it’s a listening exam, bless him.

The exam itself cost us around 820tl / £200, so it’s not cheap. Plus the travel there and back, along with the hotel for the night. By the time we apply for the actual visa, we’ll have paid out around £3000, with no guarantee it will be granted, so it’s an awful lot of money. The exam only lasts for 18-25 minutes, so the 11 hour round trip is an awful long way to go just for that. I’m sure people don’t realise this when they’re complaining about ‘foreigners’ coming to the UK so ‘easily’ and ‘not even being able to speak English’. It’s really frustrating being on the other side, seeing the hoops we have to jump through just to live together and knowing that people are so oblivious and unaware of the effort, time and money it actually takes.

On the plus side, Berkay gets a day away from work, he won’t get another one until summer is over. He had a few hours spare this evening and went for a walk around Izmir – it’s very much a big, built up city, nothing at all like the places Berkay is used to, so it’s all very new and overwhelming to him although he did spend the first few weeks of his army service there last February. Whilst out on his walk he took a little detour and managed to get lost. “I lost myself in Izmir and found myself again” he said. Bless him!

He’s had quite a busy week, my grandparents are out in Calis at the moment so he’s been meeting up with them most days – it’s probably nice for him to have some company. Straight after his exam tomorrow morning he’ll be making the 5 hour 45 minute journey back to Fethiye again, hopefully in time for dinner with them before they fly home tomorrow night.

We’ll know in a couple of weeks time whether he passes or not, but please wish Berkay luck for his exam tomorrow morning at 9am Turkish time… we really need him to pass to get the ball rolling visa-wise! It’s just the first of many nervous long waits!

The Many stages of the Calis Beach sunset..

Posted on May 31, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

There is something so relaxing about sitting on a beach and watching a sunset, and there is no better place to witness the sun going down than on Calis Beach.

During the summer months the sun goes down to the left side of the beach, just behind the mountains in the distance, but it still looks beautiful. In the winter however, the sun sets right on the horizon and with a few clouds as part of the backdrop it looks even more impressive.

These were photos I took back in February, before the clocks changed and summer approached, when the sun still set on the horizon. We just took a blanket, sat our bums on the beach and admired the view. The best thing about these photos are that I haven’t even edited them at all, these are straight off of my camera, and to be honest even these don’t quite do it justice as it’s even better to witness in person.

There’s just something so magical about staring at the sunset and watching that last bit of the sun fading, slowly, slowly, until the tiny red glow disappears out of sight into the horizon. It’s quite thought-provoking, witnessing the end of another day and the imminent arrival of another night.

Apparently, really slowing down your day and stopping what you’re doing to watch the sunset and appreciate the sky can increase your happiness and improve your emotional well-being. It’s something to do with the realisation that the day is over, we can put our worries aside and rest a little, ready for whatever the next day brings, and of course in the summer the going down of the sun also means we can really enjoy the sudden drop in temperature too.

With all the seaside cafes, bars and restaurants along the Calis promenade, you really have no excuse not to sit down with a nice drink and wait for the sun go down, just stop for a few minutes and appreciate the surroundings, bask in the warm orange-red glow and enjoy the hope that tomorrow brings.

Our Turkish Wedding Part 1.

Posted on May 8, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

Back on the morning of the 27th April I woke up in our apartment to the sound of the waves on the beach, with Berkay in bed beside me. It was our wedding day! Traditionally I know the bride and groom aren’t supposed to see each other the night before, or the morning of the wedding, but quite a lot of our wedding day was a bit backwards!

There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the forecast rain for the previous day had fallen and cleared ready for our day! Berkay and dad took me, mum, my stepmum and my little sister to the hairdresser in Fethiye around 10am. I had been worrying about how well this would work out since we booked her as she doesn’t speak any English, but she’s the wife of one of Berkay’s work friends so we got a good deal and she was really friendly, despite the rather large language barrier. Dad and Berkay left and went back to Calis and all the ‘boys’ had a shave and massage together, but not before Berkay gave instructions to the hairdresser about how NOT to do my hair and makeup, I did not want to have blue eyeliner and be orange! The lady done my makeup first, and other than some bright pink lipstick initially, it looked really nice, even if I do say so myself! Next was the hair, I came prepared with a photo of how I wanted it and she did that really well too.

Next, the hairdresser started on my little sisters hair while I went into a corner of the salon behind a screen and started putting on my dress. I was worried about the dress fitting right and not showing too much boobage (!) It was a little odd getting dressed in a tiny corner of a hot salon on the 2rd floor of a building in Fethiye town centre, but apparently this is the done thing in Turkey, and most brides do get ready in the salon with their friends/family. After a lot of pulling, tightening and lacing the ribbon by my mum and stepmum, we managed to get my dress on and looking exactly how I wanted it. A quick 10 minutes back in hairdressers chair and my veil was in and hair finished, complete with ALOT of pins keeping it in place, ouch.

At around 11.45 Berkay arrived back at the salon, now clean shaven and fully dressed in his wedding suit, to pick me up. Now, this is the backwards part of the day! While usually the bride and groom get ready separately and don’t see each other until the ceremony, we were spending the entire day together having a wedding photoshoot before our service at 6.30pm in the evening. This is normal in Turkey, sometimes they even have their wedding photos taken on a different day to their ceremony and wear their wedding outfits, do their hair and makeup etc twice, sometimes days, weeks or even months apart!

Berkay had already seen photos of me in my dress as I couldn’t resist showing him, but it was still very exciting and surreal when we were stood face to face with each other in the salon fully dressed in our wedding attire. A couple of minutes later and we were walking downstairs and through Fethiye town centre towards the car with the photographer behind us, leaving my family back at the salon.

I think my family found it quite hard to comprehend how, and why, we would spend all afternoon driving around in our wedding clothes and squashing my dress in the back of a boiling hot car. I must admit, when I first got to the car and realised how much of a struggle and how uncomfortable it would be to sit in my ridiculously tight corsetted dress squashed in the back seat, I did wonder ‘what the hell am I doing?’ but when I thought about the beautiful photos we’d get as a result, I realised it would be worth it and I certainly wasn’t disappointed!

Our photographer knew all the best places to go for photos. Berkay was driving and the photographer gave him directions. We ended up driving through Kayakoy and onto the road towards Gemiler Island. In the middle of the road high up on a cliff side, the photographer instructed Berkay to pull the car over and with a bit of help I struggled out of the car and scrambled across the dusty road and rocks to the side of the cliff. The photographer climbed up a few rocks, knelt down and snapped some photos, shouting at us what poses to do. These two photos are some of my favourites because I love how blue the sea looks in the background, it captures the true beauty of the whole Fethiye area and looks almost too perfect, like we were photoshopped in! I can 100% say we were not and actually none of these photos have been at all edited or photoshopped as we collected the CD the day after and they didn’t have time to edit them.

On the way to Gemiler the photographer had spotted a perfect photo opportunity in a field, so he made sure we stopped there on the way back. There’s a funny photo he captured of me and Berkay walking through these plants and me with a look of pure disgust on my face because of the amount of bees that were buzzing around my feet and all the other wildlife in the flowers that I was trying to avoid getting stung or bitten by! ‘Just sit down in the middle’ the photographer said, easier said than done with my dress on, so I settled for a half kneel-half sitting pose, but it still came out really pretty.

Next stop was Kayakoy, but not before parking the car next to a pancake house for a lunchbreak and a glass of tea. Yes, local people and tourists were sat in the shady pancake house enjoying a spot of lunch when in we strolled, dressed up in our wedding outfits looking totally out of place. So many people walking past wished us well and said ‘may God make you happy’ etc in Turkish (Allah mutlu etsin / hayirli olsun) but I felt really silly sitting struggling to eat a pancake with my big white dress on with everyone staring! It was a lovely sunny day without a cloud in the sky, but thankfully not unbearably hot so wandering through Kayakoy after our little detour was quite pleasant, if a little difficult because I was holding my dress up making sure it didn’t get caught on any sticking up stones or rocks. The first few photos were very posed, and reminded me of something you’d see in a catalogue. He had us doing all sorts of poses which had me in fits of giggles because they were so ridiculous! He had me staring into a stone window at a random person and pretend sniffing flowers at one point.

I really love the individual photos of me and the full length shots of my dress, the photographer definitely captured the surroundings well as well with the green trees and ruins in the distance. I’m not usually that much of a fan of Kayakoy but it’s nice to have a bit of Turkish history in our wedding photos.

After having a lot of snapshots taken at Kayakoy we headed back towards Fethiye where I requested we stop at Asiklar Tepesi (lovers hill) as that is my favourite place to get beautiful panoramic views of Fethiye. Each time I visit Turkey we always drive up there and sit down with a drink and an icecream or something similar and admire the view so I’m glad we managed to have some of our wedding photos there.

By this point it was around 2.45pm and the photographer suggested we drive to Gunluklu bay, via Calis. On driving through Calis, he decided it would be a good idea to stop at the infamous half finished, multicoloured houses by the canal. Rumor has it that these old houses were owned by someone in the Turkish mafia who was either killed or put in prison and the wife/s argued over what should happen to them afterwards, so they’ve remained unfinished, unused and left to be ruined by weather and old age. Whatever the truth about these buildings is, it’s a real shame as they would have been lovely properties in a nice location and keeping them there with no plans to use them is a waste of good space. We accidentally walked around the area once and got told we weren’t allowed to be there, so when the photographer told us to get out of the car, enter one of the buildings and walk up the the top floor I was a little worried, especially with the potential ‘mafia’ link!! Regardless, we did as he said and walked inside the house, through piles of rubbish and a lot of broken glass, mindful of my dress all the time, and up the stairs to the first floor. The photographer did manage to get some nice shots but it was still a very random, slightly scary location!

The next stop was Gunluklu bay, the other side of Calis, past Ciftlik and Yaniklar, on the main Fethiye-Dalaman road. They took a small entrance fee and we parked up, got out and stood among the huge trees which provided much welcome shade. The trees in the background made a lovely backdrop and I love all the out of focus green blurs behind us. The only bad thing was that I got absolutely eaten alive by mosquitoes and covered in bites that swelled up, I had 3 elbows on one arm at one point and had to make an emergency stop at the chemist on the way back to Fethiye.

One final stop was a tiny beach that I’d never been to before, I didn’t even know it existed and I’ve forgotten the name now but I hope to go there again and find out next time I visit Turkey. It was down a long road near Yaniklar and it was really beautiful and empty.

At this point it was 4.30pm and time to go back to Fethiye, Berkay walked back to get the car and I stood waiting in among the trees for him and the photographer to come back. I think this photo perfectly captures my mood at that moment, hot, bored, stressing about the wedding that was due to take place in a couple of hours time, covered in itchy mozzie bites and worn out from lifting my dress everywhere.

Right after these photos were taken we headed back to Fethiye and back to the hairdresser who done a quick touch up of my hair and makeup and then we set off on our way to our wedding ceremony and celebration in Calis.

Despite doing things backwards that day, and having our photos taken before actually being married, seeing each other before the ceremony, I’m so glad we did it that way. All the wandering through fields, getting a bee stuck in my veil(!!), climbing over rocks, through dusty ruins and being squashed in the back of the car with my big white dress for hours was all worth it and having these photos of all the beautiful places around Fethiye as our wedding pictures to look back on forever is just the best feeling – we certainly wouldn’t have got those lovely photos from a wedding in England, would we?

Back in Turkey & Wedding planning?

Posted on March 15, 2016 by livingtheturkishdream

It seems like I’ve only just got back from Turkey (5 weeks ago) but tomorrow I’m flying back again! It’s only a quick visit this time, I’m going to the airport straight after work tomorrow evening, flying all night via Istanbul, and then landing in Dalaman at 7am! I fly back to the UK on Sunday morning so it’s just 4 days/nights.

I didn’t think I’d be back there again so soon, and the only reason I’m going is to put some of our wedding plans into action. I have completed the relevant paperwork here, had it signed by a solicitor and certified by the foreign office, but now we need to take our paperwork into the registry office in Fethiye, have some blood tests and book a date!

What started out as a small wedding in the registry office followed by dinner in a restaurant in Fethiye has turned more into a ‘proper’ wedding – I went dress shopping a few weeks ago and despite being adamant I would just have a pretty, basic dress from a high street shop, I ended up walking into a ‘Confetti and Lace’ bridal shop, trying on a beautiful, sparkly white wedding dress and the rest is history!!

Since then, we’ve been planning the wedding, I have sorted out favors, a cake, a venue, flights and accomodation, and now all we need to book is an actual date for the wedding in April, a photographer, flowers and wedding rings… It’s going to be a very busy, but exciting 4 days!

Online check in is done, my suitcase is packed full of nandos sauce for Berkay, and I’m nearly all ready to go…
See you tomorrow, Turkiye!

315 days down, 50 to go!

Posted on December 16, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

Christmas is fast approaching, with just 9 days to go, and just 16 days until 2015 comes to an end. This means we are getting ever closer to Berkay’s army service being completed and that huge obstacle being lifted.

He’s officially been in for over 45 weeks now, with another 7.5 weeks to go. 10 months down, less than 2 to go, but potentially even sooner than that. His 12 months mandatory service will officially be finished on 4th February 2016, but as he has been unable to take any holiday during that time, he believe’s he will be able to finish up to 18 days early, so he could be ‘free’ as early as next month! How good does it feel to say that!

Strangely, the year doesn’t seem to have gone that slowly, and I think a lot of that is due to the time of year he started. Although the beginning of the year went slowly, the run up to Christmas seems to make everything go 10x faster, and now its only a matter of days until the year is over!

I’ve been keeping up with my marble jars, moving a marble from the ‘days to go‘ jar into the ‘days down jar‘ every night before bed. It’s almost like an advent calendar, and I do it everyday without fail. The first real exciting moment was when the jars had equal numbers of marbles in both, but now they make for a much more pleasing sight with just 50 days in the ‘days to go’ jar, compared to 315 in the other.

The last few weeks haven’t been very smooth for Berkay. At the start of November he got sent to Diyarbakir which is a fairly dangerous place to be in the army at the moment, and his fellow soldiers from the same base were out on missions to hunt terrorists every few days. We were unsure when he would be going back to Kayseri, but finally, after what felt like a really long time, he got told he was being sent back and he made the 12 hour coach journey back to Kayseri with the rest of the soldiers at the base on Saturday. Even that was dangerous, and they all had to wear bulletproof clothes for the first part of the journey. Coincidentally, Saturday was Berkay’s 26th birthday (he’s so much older than all the others doing their national service, he’s like the army grandad haha). What a way to spend your birthday eh? At least he’s back in Kayseri now where he will hopefully stay for the rest of his service.

Further testing times for Berkay came 2 weeks ago when his granddad passed away. They weren’t particularly close as he isn’t to any of his family, but he was a lovely old man whom I met a few times, and it was obviously very sad. Had he been at home in Fethiye, Berkay would have made the journey to Denizli for the funeral, and he did intend to take time off from his army service but after talking to his commander they decided it would be too difficult as leaving the base would mean people needed to escort him to the nearest city, and then he would have to make a 20+ hour journey to Denizli by road, as flying was ridiculously expensive. The long journey would have meant he would miss the funeral anyway, as in Turkish culture this happens very quickly after death. Not being able to be with his family, despite their differences, upset Berkay and he was very frustrated by it all, but he seems happier now and he too is counting down the days to freedom!

50 days to go… hopefully less!

Turkey in the snow!

Posted on November 28, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

Whilst it’s always nice seeing clear blue skies, sunshine and beaches, it is nearly December, so I thought I’d share some more festive photos of Turkey as most of us have never seen it before.

The photos aren’t recent, and believe it or not they weren’t actually taken in winter at all, but in April this year during a freak period of cold weather in Denizli! I was in Turkey for a week visiting Berkay during his army break and we had travelled from Fethiye to the Denizli province, to his small home town of Beyagac. We were there for 2 days and the night before we travelled back to Fethiye we woke up to snow! It was all over the news about how unusual such cold weather and snowfall was for April and we had to drive for 4 hours back in it through the mountains.

Seeing snow is always a bit of a novelty when you live in England, it rarely happens over here, but over in Turkey with all the mountains and high ground it’s pretty much the norm in winter. Since it’s such a rarity for me, I made Berkay stop the car so that we could build a little snowman. It may sound a dumb thing to say, but it was absolutely freezing and instead of having the cool aircon on in the rental car like we had been using a few days before in Fethiye, we had the heater on instead.

I’m not sure exactly where we were, but it was a very remote area of Denizli, hardly any villages or houses, although we did drive past a snow-covered mosque and a couple of villagers. For the most part, we had the whole lanes to ourselves and the views were postcard picture perfect. Only two days previously we had driven through the same route and it was completely clear, so there had been quite a lot of snowfall overnight.

Driving through all the pine trees covered in snow, and with the wind blowing all the snow off their branches and making little mini-blizzards was so pretty, it was very Christmassy, which felt weird to say considering it was Spring. Some of the pictures I took were so festive I thought about having them printed for Christmas cards this year, nobody would ever guess it was Turkey in April!

It was quite surreal driving through the snow for half of our journey and then as we got a few hours closer to Fethiye the white snow clouds turned into clear blue skies, and snow covered fields turned into warm green ones instead. The only trace of snow was on Fethiye’s Mount Babadag which had also had a fresh covering of the white stuff the previous night.

I just love seeing snowy Turkey pictures, although its usually snow capped mountains from down below that I see. If you are ever in Fethiye in very early spring, you’ll see for yourself how magical the snowy mountains in the distance look, and the stark contrast in the temperature and weather between the different seasons which really surprises some people.

The country is definitely a thing of natural beauty, whatever the season.

A new army chapter..

Posted on November 8, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

The elections that were held in Turkey last week meant a lot of changes.

Firstly, and bizarrely, Turkey was thrown into some kind of temporary time zone for 2 weeks. When most of us turned our clocks back and enjoyed the extra hour in bed, residents of Turkey woke up in confusion and asked themselves ‘what time is it?’. It had been decided months previously that the clocks in Turkey would not go back on 25th October with everyone else, and instead they’d go back on 8th November, to ensure that voters in the election last week would have as much daylight as possible to make it ‘safe’ to vote. I don’t see the logic in that at all, but that’s just Turkey for you, instead of opening the voting stations an hour earlier they’ll create a temporary time zone for 2 weeks… It led to some confusion when modern technology, smart phones and laptops, automatically updated to change the time, so when people woke up they really had no idea what the ‘real’ time was. Quite Hilarious, and definitely one of those ‘ah, only in Turkey’ moments! The clocks did finally go back today though, so they’re all caught up now!

The election results were pretty predictable, although plenty of people hoped for a miracle… Berkay, however, didn’t even get to vote as people doing their national service have no input at all, which I think is disgusting. I guess the logic behind it is they should be fighting for their country regardless of who is in charge, but I still think it’s really bad that they’re not even allowed to vote.

The elections were predicted to cause hostility, so around a month ago Berkay was told he’d be sent to a different army base. For the past 7 months he’s been in Kayseri, a major city and really quite modern. He’s been allowed days out and wandered around the shopping centres with friends, been to internet cafe’s to talk to me and even smuggled his phone inside base so that we can skype (shh..). So when he was told he’d be going to a city close to the border with a high terrorist presence, it was a bit of a shock.

He was told he’d be sent to Diyarbakir a few days later, which although I hear from people who have friends and family there, is a nice place, at the moment it’s a significantly more dangerous place to be while in the army. It does have a high PKK terrorist presence, a lot of Kurdish/Turkish conflict and there are often reports of attacks and deaths as a result of this. Berkay’s name was put down to go but 3 weeks later he still hadn’t heard anything, and was still in Kayseri. We were both hoping he wouldn’t end up going, but last Monday he rang me and said he was packing his suitcase and getting sent to Diyarbakir on Tuesday. Obviously this hit me like a ton of bricks, and despite Berkay saying he wasn’t worried, I know he was really. “If anything is gonna happen there it can happen here too” he said, which is true.

Tuesday morning at 11 oclock he got on the army plane to Diyarbakir. He text me at the airport and managed to call me when he got to a base and actually had a 7 minute long phonecall which is long by normal standards! He said they went on a cargo plane, and he had to sit with all the luggage in the bottom of the plane, he said it was the worst flight he’s been on, bumpy and so noisy they had to wear ear protectors. They went to a temporary base overnight and woke up at 4am to transfer to the next base, they had to go by bulletproof bus and then in a tank, from what I understood. Berkay’s brother messaged me to tell me he’d spoken to him and that he had arrived OK.

I don’t think I’m allowed to say the name of the place he’s in, other than that it’s in Diyarbakir. He say’s it’s more relaxed and friendlier than his other base. The officers seem more understanding there, as soon as they arrived they were asked if they’d all called their friends and family to let them know they were there safely and he even told them if they had phones they were allowed to use them rather than queuing for the base one, which is a relief because I was unsure whether I’d hear from him as often now, but it seems as if I will. It means he’s been able to use his iPhone there and we get to skype when the internet signal is working. Berkay’s original job in Kayseri was an ambulance driver but now he’s just on guard of the sleeping quarters. He says he feels safe there, there’s a long 10km walk to the entry gate and the outside world, and it’s mainly hills and land, no city or shops close by so he won’t be allowed out at all. He doesn’t know how long he’ll be there for, as always in Turkey it’s very laid back, no plans. He says some of the soliders are going out on an ‘operation’ to find and kill terrorists this week and that after that’s complete he should be going back to Kayseri. He said there was another operation the night after he arrived and all the soldiers came back in the middle of the night and woke them up to celebrate successfully finding terrorists, although a few of their own men also died. When he tells these stories it really hits home how serious it all is, and as I always say, I don’t understand how anyone can see national service as just a 12 month stint in a training camp, it’s real life, it’s scary and its horrible.

The only good thing is there’s only less than 3 months to go!

Reminiscing – Calis 2010

Posted on October 25, 2015 by livingtheturkishdream

I’ve been looking back at old photos recently and reminiscing on ‘the good old days’. Although my first visit to Calis was only in 2010, a lot has changed in the past 5 years, and yet still so much stays the same.

I was on holiday in Calis staying in a hotel Berkay worked in, and it’s so funny now looking back on photos I took around that time, totally unaware how things would pan out in the future. It was Grand Vizon hotel in Calis where I stayed, and where we met. I remember sitting on the balcony taking photos of our view over the pool just to remember the place by – little did I know I’d end up living around the corner to this hotel for 3 years, or be walking around the hotel grounds in winter playing fetch with our dog, Boncuk, or having weekly winter BBQ’s with Berkay, sat next to the empty pool long after the tourists had gone home and the summer season finished.

It’s also funny to think that one of the other waiters who worked in the hotel when I met Berkay would become one of our best friends and that I’d be sitting in the house of him and his wife every week for tea and biscuits and playing with their baby son!

Whilst some things have changed, some things never do. This photo of me walking down the road leading to the hotel just sums me up perfectly… animal mad, ever so slightly crazy cat lady. This was taken just on a daytime stroll back to the hotel, where I seemed to attract a small army of kittens. 5 years on this still happens – if there’s a stray cat or dog somewhere I’ll normally end up sat on the floor playing with it! I still do this now in England on my way to work, there’s a cat who wanders around the bottom of our road and on my way to the train station everyday if I see him I stop and talk to him (yes, talk) in fact, I even missed my train once because I stopped to stroke this cat…

Calis itself is of course just as beautiful as ever, apart from a lick of paint on the umbrellas which are now multicoloured, the wide uncrowded beach, the gentle waves of the sea and the backdrop of Babadağ mountain remains much the same. Tourists still come and go every summer and thousands of people fall in love with the place every year.

I wonder how many other tourists like me have sat their bottoms on the stoney beach of Calis and not realised how much the place would change their lives? Or not realised that the place they were visiting for a week’s holiday would turn into a place they’d call home? Do you have any stories of how this place changed you forever?