2013 – A year in pictures – Part 1.

Posted on January 11, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

The start of a new year always has us reminiscing about the previous one doesn’t it? I was looking back over all my Instagram photos of the year, and realised I had captured a lot of special moments. People are always commenting about how ‘snap-happy’ I am and that I take far too many photos of pointless, trivial things…but, if I’ve learnt anything this year it’s that sometimes those pointless trivial things mean the most.
It was hard to narrow it down to just a few photos for each month, but here are my favourite moment-capturing photos of 2013.

January

How cute and smiley does our little Boncuk look here? Such a happy puppy, and she was so tiny back then. I love the photo of us purely because of how cold we look- notice my hoodie and coat.. It was freezing.

Love both of these photos as it reminds me how quiet and peaceful Calis Beach is during winter when no tourists are around..lovely calm seas and beautiful sunsets.

February

Two stunning photos of the beach. The first is my favourite, winter is definitely the best time for beautiful sunsets in Calis.

This was the view from my balcony on a very cold winter morning, just look at that snow on the mountain, when Babadağ gets snowy, you know it really is cold. The photo of Boncuk makes me smile, I love her flappy ears. Can’t believe how much she has grown.

March

The first photo was during a Fethiyespor game, we got free tickets and really enjoyed it, and the team won too! Look at the beautiful backdrop of mountains, it was such a beautiful place to watch a game of football, the first real hot day of the year too, and I got a totally sunburnt face. The second photo was from a really lovely Spring day, we went to the beach and had a little picnic, then went for long walk and on the way back home bumped into these gorgeous baby goats who belonged to my landlord. Being a big animal lover, I couldn’t resist picking one up for a hug!

These last two photos are sad, as they were from one of the last times I saw my rabbit, she died when I was in England in April. Poor little bunny<3

April

We both visited England for a month in April. These two photos were taken on my 21st birthday (as if the hat didn’t give it away), we celebrated with all my family and a few close friends. My cake was lovely and had photos of all my loved ones around the sides.
The first photo makes me laugh so much, me & Berkay took my little brother and sister to London Zoo, and as you can tell, Berkay was less than impressed by the pigs. Classic photo. The other is me and my sister just after her 2nd birthday, no wonder saying bye to her everytime I returned to Turkey was always hard, look how adorable she is!

May

Our two good friends got married in April but had their wedding party in May, it was my first time attending a Turkish wedding, it was interesting to say the least, but the bride looked beautiful. The second photo is one of my favourite photos of us, look at those smiles and happy eyes.

I love how happy Boncuk looks playing with her ball here, bouncing along after a long walk and a swim in the sea.

These photos are what I mean by ‘everyday trivial things’. Both taken on my balcony, the first is the beautiful view I had when I would sit outside at 5am watching the sun rise, the silhouette of the mountain.. just stunning. The second is one of the things I really miss the most, just sitting on the balcony having a barbeque. We used to have at least one a week, often more. Such a simple thing, but something that I really, really miss just doing together with Berkay.

June

Lots of happy moments in June. The first photo is just one of those moments that always makes me smile, it’s my little dog chasing two huge camels.. bless her, she likes to act hard but when the camel turned around to look at her she came running back to us. The second is from a lovely day when we had breakfast along the seafront in Fethiye town. It was an open buffet with everything you could ever want as part of a Turkish breakfast, it was delicious and the glass of cay finished it off nicely. What better place to have breakfast, so close to the sea and beautiful scenery.

These two photos were taken during a Sunday picnic with our friends at a quiet bay in Fethiye. We had a barbeque picnic and a lovely swim..the view on the way back to Fethiye town was stunning.

One of the reasons we have lots of lovely memories from June is because my Nan and Grandad came to visit. I spent a lot of time at their apartment with them and made full use of the pool and aircon, luxuries that we didn’t have at our house. I love the first photo of us all on their last night in one of our favourite restaurants in Calis, look at all those smiling faces.

While my grandparents were here we visited Yakapark (left) and Oludeniz (right). We have some lovely photos there, but these two of me and Berkay are my favourite.

Click here for part 2, July – December.

Saying Goodbye..

Posted on January 6, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Yesterday was the day I’ve been dreading since he arrived, we had to take Berkay to the airport and wave him off on his flight back to Turkey.

We woke up early, had breakfast and got ready, then Berkay went into my little sister’s room to kiss her goodbye. She really loves having him here and he loves her too, so that was sad. He said bye to my stepmum, then me, Berkay, my dad and brother got in the car ready to go.

That 50 minute journey to the airport was the longest. It’s a horrible feeling knowing you’re time together is running out, and theres nothing you can do to stop it. I felt so out of control.

We got to the airport, checked him in and went upstairs for a hot chocolate in the coffee shop. At this point, as awful as it sounds, I just wanted it to be over, I wanted him to go through departures and be on the other side of the airport, so that I could stop thinking about the goodbye we’d be facing, so that I could stop the urge to burst into tears and the aching in my stomach.

At about 10.40 we got up and took the short walk to the security gates, he had to scan his boarding pass to be let through. He shook Dad and Toby’s hand first, then gave them a hug, then it was my turn. We had a cuddle and shed a tear, and then he went, he blew me a kiss from the other side of the gate and then went around the corner. That was it, the point of no return.

When I moved back from living in Turkey, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I had to physically walk through those airport security gates, I had to physically stand up and walk away from Berkay and my life there, this time it was his turn, once he went through to security, there was no way I could get to him and drag him back for another hug, it was over and done with, he’d gone and there was nothing I could do about it, in a weird way that made it easier… for me at least.

I’ve never been on the other side of those gates at Gatwick before, it’s usually always me going off to Turkey and leaving my parents standing crying at the other side. It’s a horrible feeling. I should be used to goodbye’s by now, the past 3 years has been full of them. Saying goodbye to my family when I first moved to Turkey was hard, then having to say goodbye all over again everytime they came to visit. It was easier as I had Berkay with me to reassure me and make me feel better. This time I felt alone, even though I had family with me, I don’t like to really show my emotions around them.

When we came back home yesterday, I hardly spoke to anyone, I spent the whole day and night in my room, only coming out for dinner. That’s not helping, I know, but I don’t know what else to do, I don’t want to sit in a room full of people. I’m grateful I have family here, of course, but it’s just not the same without Berkay. I live in a house full of people, but I feel alone.

I was talking to friends yesterday and said I felt like someone had died, that’s all I can describe it as. ‘How do you know, what do you have to compare it to?’ They said. I don’t (Thank God), but that’s what I imagine it feels like. Sure, I can still get hold of him via text, facebook or skype pretty much whenever I want, but the physical presence isn’t here anymore. 48 hours ago he was sitting next to me in bed watching a film, now there’s an empty space. His side of the bed is empty, he has clothes left in the wardrobe, slippers by the door that belong to him, yet he’s not here to wear them, one less place at the dinner table. I miss the small things, having someone for company on the train, having someone next to me on the bus, having someone with me at the shops, helping me chose what to buy, waiting for me when I come home from work. When Berkay was here, he used to give me his loose change for my coffee on the way to work, it’s the small, cute things like that that I miss. I miss being able to escape to my room and still have someone here for company, to watch a film with, to listen to music with, to talk to. It really is like half of me is missing.

Berkay is coming back in 11 weeks time, just in time for mums wedding and my birthday. Sure, it’s something to look forward to, but it seems so far away. Im dreading going to bed everynight alone, waking up to realise im still alone and having to face another whole day the same way. I guess it will be easier once I’m back at work and have other things to keep me occupied. I know I’m lucky that Berkay’s visa was granted, I know many who have children and young babies who haven’t seen their dad’s for months, or years, because visa’s were not issued. I’m very grateful that he has been to England 5 times now, I know we are very lucky and have great photos and memories of all his times here, but that still doesn’t make it any easier.

Berkay landed back safely in Antalya last night, after taking off an hour late, and got the late bus back to Fethiye. It was a long journey but he had a lovely welcome by our dog, Boncuk, when he got there. At least someone is happy to see him back!

I’m sick of the ‘goodbyes’ and ‘see you laters’, always having to say bye to somebody, always missing somebody, always having to chose between being with family or Berkay, having to chose between what my head says (stay here, earn money and work towards a better life) or what my heart says (sod it all and move back to Berkay). I dream of the day we can all be in the same place long term and not have to spend our days dreading the next one. I suppose I just want my ‘happily ever after’.

“Even when someone is miles away, always remember that we are under the same sky, looking at the same sun, moon, and stars”

New Year’s Eve

Posted on January 6, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

While most people spent New Years in the warm at parties or celebrating with friends and family, me and Berkay decided to go up to London and watch the fireworks..

First we took a detour to the O2, where we had lunch at Chiquitos, I booked in advance thinking it would be busy, but we were the only ones in there when we arrived at 2pm, perhaps everyone was preparing themselves for the night ahead. We had a lovely meal, with nachos to start, then Berkay had a half chicken with piri piri sauce, and I had the piri piri chicken fajitas. ~~Well, if you can’t have actual Nandos, you might as well order the closest thing possible, right?~~

After lunch we headed straight to Westminster station on the train, we got there around 5pm. Everyone had warned us to get there early in order to get a good spot, we wanted to be facing the London Eye directly from Embankment, and not on one of the bridges like we had 2 years ago. It was a good job we got there when we did, as there were already people sitting down along the whole length of the barriers, apparently some had been there since 11.30am, crazy. We found a good spot almost centre of the London Eye, and there were only 4 people in front of us, so we had a good view.

We sat on our little fold up chairs and ate our snacks. For 7 hours. I still can’t quite believe we just sat there waiting for 7 hours, literally just staring at the London Eye praying the time would go fast, every dong of Big Ben we breathed a sigh of relief that another hour was over! We didn’t bring anything to amuse ourselves, we had no mobile or internet signal on our phones, and were very very bored. A few little arguments broke out over people pushing in and others complaining about being pushed and shoved, that amused us a little at least, it’s good to be nosey, or ‘people-watch’ as my mum calls it.

We were pretty cold, but thank goodness the rain held off til about 11.45pm. Everyone was too excited by then for the rain to bother them. We couldn’t move out of our spot for the entire 7 hours either, so no toilet breaks for us!

Finally at midnight, Big Ben struck and the fireworks started. They were really impressive. We had been told beforehand they were ‘multi-sensory’, each of us had a special wristband that lit up and changed colour in time to the music and fireworks, and fruit smelling spray, mist, bubbles and confetti were blown out by huge canisters, when the fireworks were red we could smell strawberry, when they were orange, we could smell orange, etc. It was definitely different! They lasted over 10 minutes and the sky was completely lit up, beautiful!

Trying to make our way back to the train station after the fireworks wasn’t so fun, hundreds of thousands of people all pushing and shoving, drunk people falling over, smashed glasses and bottles lining the streets, it was a real obstacle course, made all the worse by the rain making everywhere slippery. We followed the crowd of people and ended up in Trafalgar square, which wasn’t where we needed to be… but 4 somewhat helpful policemen later we eventually got there and boarded the packed train. By this point we were half asleep, freezing, busting for a wee and achey, but it was all part of the fun.

Not a drop of alcohol was consumed but we still had a fab time and got some great photos. Can’t say that I fancy waiting another 7.5 hours next year though, the fireworks were amazing and so much better in person, but not sure they are really worth all that waiting around!

Happy New Year everyone, hope 2014 is everything you wish it to be.

A day out in London..

Posted on January 2, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Last Saturday me and Berkay hopped on the train and went exploring in London.

Central London is only 25 minutes on the train from us, so we left at 1130 and arrived at London Bridge before 12. We took a little detour and found Borough Market. It was so pretty as there were still Christmas trees and decorations everywhere, some places were even selling mulled cider, yum. There were hundreds of stalls, the first row we saw were all selling cooked food, hotdogs, burgers, stews, soups, rice dishes, kebabs.. Berkay wouldn’t eat any of it as the meat was cooked on the same grill as the pork, which he doesn’t eat. We carried on walking through the market past stalls selling cheese, olive oils, vegetables, biscuits, wine, bread, chocolate fudge… the list is endless. We spotted this stall, and a huge smile swept across Berkay’s face… He chatted to them for a while and bought sigara boregi (pastry with feta cheese) and yaprak dolma (stuffed vine leaves). Also note the sign says ‘Turkish Deli’… of course we all know this as a delicatessen counter, but in Turkish ‘deli’ means ‘crazy’, so this sign of Berkay posing under a sign effectively saying ‘crazy Turkish’ is quite amusing 😉

After walking around the market, we headed back to London Bridge station and went on to Waterloo, we took a walk along Southbank, which had a few fun things to do, one of them being this ‘pedal powered snowdome’ . There was a tree inside and when people sat pedaling the bikes, the snow fell down inside the globe. I can’t ride a bike so thank goodness these were well supported and fixed to the ground. We had great fun!

We were quite amused by the street entertainers at Southbank too, flexible Jamaican dancers, men in cat outfits and people pretending to be statues, this man was my favourite, he literally stood still, didn’t move an inch or even blink in the 20minutes we were stood watching him. Not one blink! How is that even possible?

We popped into the Namco game station at County Hall and used a few pennies in the 10p machines, then walked past the London eye, and across Westminster Bridge towards Big Ben stopping to pose for the typical photos along the way!

Next stop was Hyde Park Corner, where we left for Winter Wonderland. Going on a Saturday probably wasn’t the best idea because it was so busy, we had to queue for 30 minutes just to get in. We eventually did get in and had a walk through all the Christmas market area, past the traditional hog roast stalls (sorry Berkay!) and through to the area where all the rides are. Along the way we stopped at a few of the stalls where Berkay tried to win me a Minion toy, it was massive and so cute, we must have spent about £15 trying to win it, darts games, ball games, trying to throw rings onto bottles, buzz wires, he tried hard bless him but didn’t manage to win 😦

The unfortunate thing about Winter Wonderland is that everything is so expensive, although I can understand why as they must spend millions setting it all up for just a month or two of the year. It is really impressive. We bought tickets to go on one of the cheaper rides, and that still cost us £4 each. It was an awesome ride though, spinning and spinning around so fast we all got ridiculously dizzy and couldn’t walk in a straight line when we got off! There were lots and lots of rides, some house of fun types, some rollercoasters, sky drops, swings… they all looked really impressive lit up when it began getting dark.

Just after 5 o clock we headed back to London Bridge and walked along to a nearby Nandos, Berkay’s favourite. Of course it was delicious, what’s not to love about spicy chicken, chips and garlic bread? 😉 (Diet starts tomorrow…boo!!)

We got back home at 8 o clock and were knackered after our busy day. The weather held up all day and was lovely and sunny, as you can see from the photos. It made a nice change and was a lovely day out. It certainly made a difference for Berkay to see the city in the sunshine instead of rain for once!

Christmas Day!

Posted on December 31, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Well, it was nearly a week ago, but we had a nice Christmas.

Dad was working nights on Christmas eve, so me, Berkay and my step-mum were on ‘constuction duty’ helping Father Christmas build and deliver his presents… We were up til gone 1am helping him.

My very exicted little sister left Father Christmas a mince pie, a cupcake, a glass of milk and a carrot for Rudolph, we tried to convince her to leave a glass of baileys out, but she wasn’t having any of it..

This is what we all woke up to on Christmas morning, Father Christmas even wrapped up the living room doors so no little people could get downstairs into the presents before Dad got home… Little did we know that neither of the ‘little’ people would wake up til gone 9.30!

We all went up to Dad’s room and opened our stockings, me and Berkay had our own ones, which you can tell her was thrilled about! Apparently Father Christmas knows Berkay loves Nandos, as his stocking contained 7 bottles of Nandos sauce!

After crumpets and the traditional Bucks fizz for breakfast, my brother and sister ran through the wrapping paper into the living room and were greeted with presents. It took a good few hours to open them all, my little sister was amazed by it all and wanted to play with everything before opening the next.. I miss being a little kid, but have great fun playing with all her toys myself!

Berkay got me some lovely presents, one being a traditional Turkish cay kettle, and another this Fethiyespor shirt, I wanted one before I left in September but didn’t have a chance to get one, now I can wear it with pride! He also had a skirt specially made for me, I had one similiar before that was my favourite, but it had holes in it and was ruined so he took it to a dress maker and got a new one made, how thoughtful! Bless.

After presents it was dinner time, Berkay tested out one of his new bottles of sauce and ended up using about a quarter of it on his potatoes, he must be the only person in the country who has Nandos hot sauce on their Christmas dinner!!

After dinner we went to my step-mum’s Dad’s house for a buffet and a little evening together, poor Berkay didn’t enjoy it very much as pig was pretty much the only thing on the menu, bless him.

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas and a very happy New Year to everyone, we’re off to London tomorrow to watch the fireworks along embankment, wish us luck, I expect we will end up very wet, very cold and very squashed, it’s all part of the fun!!

Early Christmas..

Posted on December 22, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

3 more days til Santa, but Christmas came early for us today, as we celebrated at Mum’s house.

We woke up this morning after a night of sharing the sofa bed with the dog, who was also feeling very festive.

We had crumpets for breakfast and then opened our presents, while still in our pajamas, as per Christmas tradition 😉

Even Boncuk got some presents, she wasn’t forgotten! 🙂
We ate a huge Christmas dinner cooked by my mum’s partner (apparently having pickled onions with roast dinner is not normal?!) and had yummy dessert along with countless chocolates and other treats.

Of course we all had Christmas crackers and wore our cracker hats too, everyone has to have a silly cracker hat photo, right?

We’re currently watching rubbish films on TV, and waiting to go back to dad’s house soon. Work tomorrow and Christmas Eve, time is flying. Berkay has been here a week tomorrow already… Crazy.

He’s here for 2 more weeks until the 5th Jan, which I suspect will also pass by very quickly, unfortunately. Poor Berkay is bored out of his mind and probably can’t wait to go home 😦 I’ll have to get Dad to find him some jobs to do while I’m at work all day tomorrow, he’s already washed the car and done some babysitting duties, bless, anything to keep him amused!

A Christmassy afternoon out!

Posted on December 20, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

We all got well and truely into the Christmas spirit yesterday, as after I finished work we all went to see Father Christmas at his grotto in Polhill, Sevenoaks.

Obviously we only went for my little sister (yeah right 😉 ) even if she was scared and refused a photo with Father Christmas, bless. She did sit in his sleigh though, and made Berkay hop in for a photo too!
Personally I loved the cute. but slightly scary talking bears, owl, reindeer and trees… we had to pose for a photo with Rudolph to capture the moment 😉

Father Christmas told us all a little story about a poor tiny Christmas tree that nobody wanted.. bless. He was a little bit scary, I can see why my sister didn’t want to be anywhere near him!
After wandering around the rest of the garden centre (we came away with nothing more than 3 bars of chocolate and a bag of oranges!) we went to a nearby Toby Carvery and had a yummy roast Turkey dinner. It was all very Christmassy!

6 more sleeps til Santa…

Reunited!!

Posted on December 18, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

We picked Berkay up from the airport last night!! 🙂

His flight landed at 22.45 and about 45 minutes later he appeared! Me and Dad stood right by the arrivals door so we could see him coming around the corner, we were getting rather impatient but eventually he came wandering through, after apparently being stopped and having all his suitcase searched! He must have looked dodgy 😉

A quick hug, kiss and a photo later, we made our way to the car and Berkay got greeted by the lovely, typical British weather, it was peeing down with rain!

We got home at 1.30am, and went straight to sleep. At 7am this morning when my alarm went off, I really didn’t want to get up and go to work. Berkay was all nice and cosy in bed and I had to leave him to go to work all day. It’s usually the other way around! 😉

He stayed at home all day and was reunited with my little sister, who adores him. Apparently she had been crying when she realised Berkay was still asleep earlier in the day as she wanted to see him so badly, bless. As soon as he woke up she made up for lost time and had him straight on the floor doing puzzles, building megablock houses and doing some colouring. She’s like his little sheep at the moment, it’s cute. Before she went to bed tonight she said ‘night night Berkay, are you going back to Turkey?’… I think she just wanted to make sure he’d still be here in the morning when she wakes up!

We had a mini belated birthday celebration, as it was Berkay’s birthday on Friday. My sister and step-mum made little Mr Men fairy cakes and we stuck sparkly candles in them. He opened his presents and cards and we had a lovely Chinese for dinner.

Tomorrow I’m only working in the morning so we can spend the afternoon together, we’re all going to see Father Christmas, I wonder if he’ll think Berkay has been naughty or nice 😉

One more sleep!!

Posted on December 16, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Yes, ONE.MORE.SLEEP.

One more night of star-fishing in my bed alone until Berkay will be here to join me!

It’s been nearly 13 weeks since I saw him, still can’t believe I’ve been back that long. I was looking back at my old posts on here the other day and it seems like a whole different world away to life now.

It was Berkay’s birthday last Friday, unfortunately he wasn’t here to celebrate so I’ve got his presents all wrapped and ready and my little sister informs me she wishes to make cakes as a belated celebration, we’ll see. 🙂

What with it being winter, there are very few direct flights to Dalaman, so he has to fly from Antalya instead, there were also no cheap direct flights either, so it involves a stop over at Istanbul. He starts the long 4 hour journey from Fethiye to Analya tomorrow morning, 2 buses later he’ll be at the airport with a few hours to spare, hopefully, before his 17.15 flight to Istanbul, where he’ll wait for 2.5 hours before boarding the 4 hour flight to London! Poor Berkay will be knackered! Me and my dad will be picking him up from the airport 11pm tomorrow night, less than 24 hours … I can’t wait!!

I’m so excited to see him of course, I just wish I wasn’t juggling two jobs so I could see him more. What a great feeling it will be to have him waiting at home for me when I get in though! 🙂

He’s here for 3 weeks, and most importantly, for Christmas and New Year. Friends will be staying in the hotel and looking after Boncuk, so she won’t be alone, she’ll be well looked after and has a ton of Christmas presents for Berkay to bring back for her! Spoilt doggy.

I apologise for not updating this blog as much as I should, I’m hoping to do daily updates when Berkay is here, time permitting!

Thanks for all the support as always, I’ve had tons of people messaging me saying they’re so excited for me after following my little facebook countdown 😉 I’m off to bed now and the ‘1 more sleep’ is about to become 0!

As I type, the song ‘Driving home for Christmas’ has just come on the music channel, I’ve been playing this song a lot recently, it seems very appropriate. I heard it play when I walked into Tesco the other day, and now on the TV as I was about to press ‘publish’ on this post! It’s a sign, I’m certain ! 🙂
xxx

December countdown..

Posted on December 6, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s the 5th of December already, as my advent calendar reminded me this morning, which means only 11 more sleeps until Berkay is here! (:

Still cant quite believe that its December already, or that I have been back for 10 weeks. Its crazy!

I’m still at my job, and have found another temporary job at an office, as of next week I’ll be doing 2 jobs working up to 12 hours a day, going to be bloody hard! Both jobs are temporary until January. The most frustrating part is that any money I earn won’t count for anything towards helping Berkay get his visa to live here, I have to be earning £18,600 a year for 6 months for that, feel like I’m stuck and not getting anywhere fast, but it could be worse…

Berkay has been looking for work since the beginning of November, and has been getting pretty desperate as he had to buy new food for Boncuk, luckily he found a job and started yesterday, working 15+ hours a day, starting at lunchtime and finishing after 4am. All that work and all those hours for just 25tl a day, the equivalent to £7.50 a day. Ridiculous. 😦 It’s mad to think we ever survived on that.

Boncuk is settled in nicely and enjoying her home in the hotel with Berkay, she’ll miss him when he comes here for a few weeks, but our good friend is looking after her so I know she’s going to be well looked after (:

Hopefully I’ll be back with another post again soon, just finding it hard to think of things to write, and struggling to find time to write them.

Happy Christmas shopping everyone 😉