Calis is changing!

Posted on January 27, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Even though I’m no longer living there, I still like to see what’s going on in Calis Beach and Fethiye, so Berkay is keeping me updated with photos.

Last Summer, the area opposite Sevi hotel, next to Nokta market and behind the bus stop, was bare, dusty and covered in litter and general mess. When I left at the end of September, they had just started to tidy up the area and were putting paving stones down. I was intrigued to see what they were doing, and it turns out they were making a little park, complete with play area, mini excerise park, benches and fountains, a much smaller version of the new-ish park in Fethiye along the seafront. Berkay showed me on skype and has sent me photos, I think it’s his new favourite spot to walk the dog! It looks like a lovely place to sit, I do think it’s in a bit of a strange location though. I hope it stays tidy and looking lovely, and I’m sure it will be popular with tourists in summer, if they are staying around that area. It looks a million times better than it did before anyway, it was literally just an area of nothing.

Boncuk seems to be enjoying the new park area! The photo on the right shows the location of the new park, with Grand Vizon hotel in the background.

Another big change to Calis that I’ve been keeping up to date with involves the canal. Diggers turned up one day and started tidying up and breaking down the edges, in order to make it all wider. These photos arent the best (check out the colour of that water, a mixture of heavy rain and all the work theyre doing has turned it brown!!) but you can tell the difference if you know what it used to look like, it certainly is a lot wider now! One side of the bridge near the taxi boats has already been widened and has a wall built up, it appears as if they may be building a walkway down along the canal, which will make a real difference, it used to have thick reeds and trees and dangerous looking steps going down to the sides, I always wondered how people managed to get down there safely to fish!

Can’t wait til I get back there to visit in the summer so I can see it all completed and find out what other changes I’ve been missing out on !

Catching up with Berkay & Boncuk..

Posted on January 26, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s been 3 weeks tomorrow since Berkay went back to Turkey, but it seems like so much longer. The day after he returned he found a job, but quit after a week or so because he was only earning £6.40 a day for 13-15 hours work and he was getting frustrated as the greedy boss was taking all of Berkay’s tips off him. When you’re earning so little, tips make all the difference, it could double his wages.

He’s been walking around all the hotels in Calis and in Fethiye trying to find work, but no luck as of yet, nobody needs staff in winter as most of the hotels are closed, and the ones that remain open are quiet enough that they do not need to employ any new people. All I can say is that it is a good job I’m not there this winter as we wouldn’t survive, no way could we find enough money to even pay rent, without even thinking about bills, food and other costs. Berkay is struggling himself, relying on friends to make him dinner and bring him food as he has zero money himself. It’s difficult for people here to understand, my Dad was moaning because I paid for Berkay’s upcoming flight to the UK in March and he thinks he should be paying for it himself, when that’s not even an option. If I don’t pay, I won’t see him, simple. Sure, at the moment Berkay doesn’t have to pay rent or electric bills, but phone, food and general day to day costs, buses, water, dog food… It all adds up, and earning £6.40 a day for a week hardly gave him an opportunity to save. He is doing his best to find work though, and is waiting for one hotel to call him back, it sounded promising!

I’ve got a feeling this summer will be hard too, with the strength of the lira weakening meaning prices in tourist resorts will increase, while wages most definitely will not.

Anyway, the time off work means Berkay has been spending a lot more time with Boncuk, and has been taking her for nice winter walks along the beach, he managed to get food for her on a ‘pay later’ promise, so she’s well fed and happy. She loves staying in the hotel and being free to roam around while its closed, we are unsure where she will be able to stay in Summer though. She’s due her yearly booster vaccinations now, so Berkay is trying to get that sorted too, luckily he has a friend who knows a vet, so no doubt they’ll be on a ‘pay later’ promise too. Getting into debt for Boncuk is worth it, of course. (:

This dog is Boncuk’s friend. It lives near the hotel and comes to the fence to say hello to her, Berkay let it into the hotel grounds today and let them have a little play off the lead together. Bless.
Berkay has also been spending a lot of time with friends, they often go fishing together hoping to catch some dinner! They are a lovely couple, we often went for BBQ’s together when I lived there, I have done a few posts involving them in the past. Their little boy, Çınar , is over a year old now, bless him. Berkay took this little monster dressing gown back for him from the UK after Christmas. Seeing how big he has got really makes me realise how much things are changing and how long I’ve been away. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday I lived there, sometimes it seems like forever.

Back to the Village..

Posted on January 12, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Berkay received a call from his brother a few days ago to tell him that his step-mum was ill, so he got on the next coach to his hometown of Beyağaç, Denizli to visit.

Fethiye to Denizli is a 5 hour bus ride, and then it’s a futher 1 and a half hours on a small dolmus from Denizli to the very remote town of Beyağaç, which has a population of less than 7000.

It’s a very traditional Turkish town, it is not at all modernised. Berkay’s family live in a small ground level house, it’s very basic, no luxuries, they don’t even have beds, just floor cushions. They have farmland and own 19 cows, 23 sheep and lots of chickens, which they keep for milk, cheese, eggs and meat. It is a very different way of life to what I am used to.

Some of the youngest cows are only a few days old, so cute. The photo on the left is Berkay’s step-mum, who is thankfully feeling much better now. .I love this photo on the right, who has a baby cow sitting in their garden beside their motorbike? Berkay’s family do 🙂

I have visited the village twice, and absolutely hated it. The main reason is because of just how traditional they are, and how alien I am to them, as a ‘ yabancı’ (foreigner). Both times we visited I wore modest clothes, jeans or a skirt with long leggings, socks, and a top that covered my shoulders, boobs and belly, yet I still looked like an outcast because quite literally every single other person was wearing ‘village pants’ .. the typical flowery type, and headscarves. Whereas people in Fethiye are normally mistaking me for a native Turk due to my skin colour, the people in Beyağaç were staring at me as if I had two heads, and they weren’t shy about it, I felt like I was in a zoo cage with hundreds of people staring and giggling at me. Another thing I found very difficult to cope with was the way the men and women were so segregated. Within the house, the roles of men and women were clearly defined. men outside sitting at tables smoking, women inside preparing food and cay. There was no mixing or conversation between men and women, they weren’t even allowed to sit in the same room. This was really horrible for me, as I couldn’t understand nor speak Turkish, and I was sat in a room full of people who couldn’t communicate with me either, add this to the staring they were doing and I became very paranoid!

Berkay rarely visits his family as he had a tough childhood and as a result, isn’t close to any of them. Berkay’s real mother left him when he was 28days old and moved elsewhere with his dad, temporarily, then they moved back to Denizli and had his brother. His mum then, again, abandoned his brother and left his dad. Berkay was being bought up by his grandparents, whom he adored. When his grandad sadly died, Berkay had to move back to his dad. His dad then remarried and had another son. When Berkay was just 15, his dad sent him away to Fethiye to attend school. He sent him with no food, no money, nothing. Berkay lived on the streets for a while until he met someone who took him in. He attended school and got a job, the money from which was all sent back to his dad. One month Berkay kept the money to pay bills, and his dad made the 6 hour journey to Fethiye to attack him and get the money for himself. Needless to say, their relationship does not exist now. They never speak and only see each other if there is a family death or special occasion. Berkay is quite close to his brothers still, but he is definitely the ‘black sheep’ of the family.

How someone can go through such a tough childhood and still be such a caring, kind, loving person I don’t know.

Anyway, thankfully Berkay’s step-mum is well again, and he is already back in Fethiye now. When he told me he was going to visit, I asked him to take tons of photos, so I could share how different his hometown is, he seems to have only taken photos of the animals, he knows I’m a sucker for animals! (:

Berkay & Boncuk settling in..

Posted on November 19, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

I can safely say Boncuk is LOVING being at the hotel 24/7 and being able to walk around the grounds with no danger of her getting out. The hotel is closed and Berkay is the only one there, apart from the security man, who happens to be Berkays best friend! (: Boncuk is being a good little guard dog, barking and waking them up to investigate when someone/something is there who shoudn’t be!

Berkay’s not having the best of times, he still hasn’t found a job for winter, although he has one promised starting in January. He has no money and if it wasn’t for his friend always inviting him to his house for dinner, he’d be starving. The hotel has no running hot water either, so everytime he wants a shower he has to boil water on the gas, oh i do not miss those days.

At least they have each other, Boncuk adores Berkay. Everytime he goes in his room, she sits outside the window looking in at him, bless her. They really are best buddies.

It just goes to show that dogs really do stick with you, no matter if they’re in a lovely, cosy house or a small, cold room underneath a hotel with bare minimum. Animals are so much nicer than most humans ❤

New home, Boncuk & work..

Posted on November 7, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Loooooong time, no speak. Apologies for the lack of posts lately, have been really busy and struggling to find time to think about what to write.

A few new things… number one, I have a job. Nothing exciting, it’s only at Argos and only part-time, but hopefully I’ll get alot more hours in the next few weeks with the Christmas rush! Anything is better than nothing (:

Number two, Berkay has moved out of the apartment we shared 😦 He has moved into a room under the hotel he worked in during summer, and is staying there for the winter. The hotel is all closed up but he’s staying in a little room underneath and has taken Boncuk with him too, hopefully she’ll settle in okay and not miss her home too much 😦 The good news is this means he won’t have to pay rent, and will hopefully be able to save some wages. The bad news is he has no internet there so we won’t be able to Facetime each other, boo.
Here are a few photos of Boncuk checking out the new abode!

One big holiday?

Posted on August 24, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

I live in a tourist destination, surrounded by sun, sea and sand. But does that mean my life is one big holiday? Definitely not.

I apologise in advance, this will be a rant. There is nothing that frustrates me more than people making comments about how my life must be one big holiday since I live Turkey. Friends, Facebook friends, even family, there have been plenty of people commenting exactly that.

I suppose it depends on what your idea of a holiday is really. To me, and from what I observe of a lot of holiday makers, a holiday in Turkey is a get away from the stresses of home, a week or two in the sun with the ones you love, worrying about nothing more than which restaurant to go to for dinner. Relaxing in the sun, getting a tan and swimming. No worries about paying the bills, no cooking, no cleaning. Room service, restaurants and maids to do all that for you. No working. A fun few weeks abroad, knowing your house and all the familiarity and luxuries of home are waiting for you to return at the end of it. Of course, not all holidays are like that, but this is just my opinion from observations.

Sure, I don’t work, but that is where the similarities between a holiday, and my life end.

The sun is lovely, and I’m lucky to live in a place where it’s guaranteed sunshine for almost 6 months of the year, but the 35 oC+ heat is not so lovely when you don’t have the option of laying around a pool all day. As I have previously mentioned, I don’t have a pool, or air con, so getting up, going to the market, walking everywhere, cooking, cleaning and doing housework in the heat are all part of my everyday life, not something I’d consider part of a holiday. I’ve commented in the past about how much British people love to complain about how it’s too hot to do anything when the temperatures reach 20oC + in the UK, people always reply ‘its different when you’re abroad’ . Its not the country that makes it different, its the lifestyle, of course the temperatures feel a lot different when you don’t have the option of sitting by a pool and doing nothing all day.

We don’t have a holiday lifestyle at all. In the 2.5 years I’ve lived here, I have never been to a bar. We don’t drink alcohol. I’ve been to a seafront restaurant with Berkay a handful of times (unless it’s in a turkish cafe, we do go to those more often). We’ve been swimming a total of 6 times this year (apart from when family were here, and yes, I counted).

I don’t consider spending the majority of time on my own while Berkay is working 15 hours a day, a holiday. It’s isolating. It’s lonely. We never get to spend more than 5 hours a day together, let alone a week or two. I also don’t think people realise just how little money we have, in summer it’s not so bad, £460 a month. I’m willing to bet a person on holiday here would spend that, or more, in a week. Winter in Turkey is the hardest, living off £250 between two people is impossible. Spending the end of every month wondering where our next meal is going to come from, whether or not the internet supplier is going to cut us off if we pay it late, that’s not part of a holiday. Getting into debt with friends in order to pay bills, that’s not part of a holiday.

It’s not a holiday not knowing when you’re going to see your family again, always having to say goodbye to someone, always missing someone, whether it be my parents, brother and sister, my boyfriend or my dog. There is always someone. My holiday is when i go back to the UK with Berkay, I get to spend Christmas with him and my family, stop worrying about money for a few weeks and enjoy the luxuries I had back in England. That is my holiday.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m lucky, and of course there are tons of reasons why living in Turkey is great, the good outweighs the bad perhaps, but that is for another post. I know this is the lifestyle I have chosen for myself, for now. I love living here. I know there are millions, billions of people worse off than me. This isn’t a post to make you feel sorry for me, its a post to make you realise living in Turkey is not a holiday. Not for anyone. No more so than living in London- a huge tourist destination, is a holiday for the millions of people who live there.

It is really infuriating to see people dismissing my life as ‘one big holiday’ when that is a million miles away from the truth.