Weddings!

Posted on April 1, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

This weekend was a busy one. On Saturday, my mum got married!

It was all a bit of a whirlwind romance really. She split up with her previous partner last year and moved into her own house, my uncle helped her move in with a few of his friends, one of them, unbeknownst to her, would be her future husband! He helped her move in, sent her a ‘new home’ card, got her number from my uncle and started talking. Two months later they told me they were getting married! Won’t lie, we all thought she was nuts. Bat-shit-crazy nuts. But so far, they’ve proved us all wrong, her new husband is lovely and I’ve never seen her so happy.. Who are we to judge? (:

Anyway, Saturday 29th March, 7 months after meeting, they officially tied the knot!

After doing some last minute wedding preparations and getting the venue ready for the reception, me and Berkay stayed at my Mum’s house on Friday night, along with my aunt.

We had a 7am wake up call, ate breakfast and spent the next 4 hours getting ready, helped along with a glass of bucks fizz of course! Poor Berkay was stuck in a house of girls. Mum was having her hair done by her hairdresser, my aunts friend was doing her hair, and then there was me… Berkay was just sat downstairs flabbergasted by what was going on… so much so that he took himself off on a long walk around the town for an hour! Bless.

Mum had 3 pairs of wedding shoes – decreasing in height and increasing in comfort! I also took along a ‘back-up’ bra, dress, shrug, and shoes, which quickly made an appearance after stuffing myself with the buffet!

When he came back, all our hair was done and we were all fighting over the only mirror with good-lighting in the house so we could do our make-up. “Hurry up and get ready Berkay!” we nagged… “I’ll only take 10minutes”… he said. He wasn’t wrong either. He was all suited and booted within minutes while us 3 girls were all rushing around like sweaty headless chickens upstairs.

The photographer arrived at 11, by then luckily we were all ready, and began a mammoth photo shoot in the garden, what a lovely sunny day it was, thank God! I can’t wait to see all the professional photos, she took hundreds! The only thing I don’t like is how posed they all were, “til your bouquet towards me a bit, move your hands down a bit, now stare up at that tree” – I’m not a fan of cheesy posed photos like that, candid shots are best, they capture the special moments best.

Berkay went off to the register office in a different car, and Mum, grandad, my aunt and I followed in the wedding car. We got stuck at every set of traffic lights, and the sunny warm weather meant the streets were full of people walking, so everyone kept stopping and pointing “oh look, someone’s getting married!”

We got to the register office and had a 15 minute wait until the part I was dreading most – walking into the actual register office room. Anyone who knows me knows how shy I am, walking into that room with everyone turning to look is the worst thing I can imagine! I know everybody was looking at how lovely mum looked, rather than at us two bridesmaids following, but it was still very scary. Uhhhh.

I took my seat next to Berkay, and a few minutes and the wedding vows later, it was official, they were Mr & Mrs Gormley! It’s so weird now that mum has a different surname to me, even after her and dad divorced she still kept his name, so we’ve had the same name for as long as I can remember! I was a witness and had to sign the book, so once again I had to stand at the front of the room of 70 people all watching… my worst nightmare!

After all the necessary paperwork was completed, and marriage certifcate all signed and handed over, it was time to head outside for more photos! We were there for ages having lots of photos taken by the photographer, all 70 guests managed to squeeze in at one point. I’m sure the photographer got some nice shots. After the photos were all done, it was time for the traditional confetti throwing, some people had bubbles to blow too – the groom’s family couldn’t resist a little rendition of ‘I’m forever blowing bubbles’ – most of them are West Ham fans!

All us guests headed off to the reception venue, and waited at the bar for the guests of honor to arrive. Everyone grabbed a glass of Bucks Fizz to raise when they walked in.

When the speeches were over and done with, and presents given out, it was time for the buffet! Pride of place on the buffet table was the wedding cake – which everyone was admiring. As you can see from the photos, mum didn’t have a red dress, she wanted a claret one, so claret was the theme of the day, the cake, roses, ribbons, banners , balloons. Our bridesmaids dresses were blue. Has anyone figured this out yet? Claret & Blue? West Ham. Ewwwwwww. The groom even had West Ham cufflinks and there was an alternative bride and groom cake-topper, with co-ordinating claret dress and West ham shirt!

After the buffet it was time to cut the cake, then the first dance, which was to Ellie Goulding’s ‘How long will I love you?’ – a few other people joined in the dancing, but me and Berkay were too shy. He did eventually get up and do one dance with mum, but I just sat down all night!

The reception was lovely, but it was a very long day. The wedding was at 12, so we were all sat in the reception venue from 1pm til very late evening – this meant everyone had plenty of time to get nice and drunk – resulting in some pretty hilarious dance off’s! I didn’t really speak to anybody most of the night, people were coming up to me and saying hello and I had no idea who they were – ours is one of those families who only gets together for events, which doesn’t occur very often, so I’m so glad Berkay was with me.

After chatting, eating and dancing the day away, it was time for the bride and groom to leave – everyone formed a circle on the dance floor, had a kiss and a hug and wished them well – and then off they went. We followed literally 2minutes afterwards as we had a taxi waiting. We were so knackered from the day that we were in bed ~~snoring~~ asleep by 10.30pm!

Mum & Berkay enjoyed a little boogie.

Click here to compare to my experience of a Turkish wedding last year.

Reunited again!

Posted on March 31, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

Massive apologies for not updating sooner, I’ve had people message me asking if Berkay arrived safely, wondering where the airport photo was etc etc, but I’ve been SO busy I hadn’t had chance to reply!

Berkay did arrive safely on Wednesday evening ❤

He left at 4.15 pm Turkish time, but not before having a little goodbye cuddle with Boncuk!

Me, dad, my brother and sister all went off to Gatwick airport after I finished work. Berkay was due to arrive at 18:30 and landed 15minutes early, when we got there we sat and had a coffee while waiting for the arrivals board to change to ”baggage in hall” then that was our cue to head towards the arrival doors!

My little sister was so excited, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so crazy! In the car on the way there she was singing “we’re gonna get Berkay, we’re gonna get Berkay, we’re gonna get Berkay” to a little tune. So adorable! When we got to the airport she didn’t want to sit down with us, she kept saying to me “come on let’s go and get Berkay now yea? Come on Dan, let’s go and get Berkay!”

Just as we headed over to the arrival doors, he appeared through them with his suitcase. My little sister went over to him and gave him a cuddle, then wouldn’t let him put her down. Kept talking to him, telling him that it’s her birthday soon, that she’ll be 3 soon and that he can play with her presents with her, he had to sit with her in the middle of the car, open her car door..etc etc. He’s definitely her favourite person at the moment!

❤ ❤ ❤
Over 320 people liked this photo on Facebook, I’m amazed at the amount of people who care and have sent lovely messages or comments. Thanks to all.

After we had picked Berkay up, we headed home to pick up my step-mum and then we all went out for dinner – anyone who follows me on Facebook or is a regular reader of my blog will know that Berkay’s favourite place is Nandos…. so of course that is where we all went to eat! Yum!

He bought lots of Turkish goodies with him, bless him, he went out and got all my favourite things, one being this big face biscuit from Migros, something I always used to get on ‘market day’ when I lived there! He thought of my dad and grandad too and bought them back some Efes in his suitcase.

It’s been lovely having Berkay back, the only part I’m not enjoying is the snoring – sometimes I really feel like shoving a pillow on his head, it’s terrible, and it definitely takes some adjusting to having to share the bed with someone, we’re both used to starfishing and end up fighting for the duvet or having one leg hanging off the bed!

I was off work on Friday as I had last minute things to do, buying wedding and mother’s day presents for Mum and a birthday present for my little sister… and yesterday was the day of my Mum’s wedding so I’ll do a post about that soon. It’s back to work tomorrow… I still hate it as much as ever, but knowing Berkay is waiting for me when I come home makes everything that little bit more bearable!

7 more days…

Posted on March 20, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

So, it’s currently 10pm on Wednesday, which means that this time next week, providing there are no long delays, Berkay will have landed at Gatwick and we’ll be together once again! (:

I guess that’s a good thing about being apart, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ and all that? Not entirely true, but being apart means that when we are together again its always new and exciting. There is no better feeling than waiting in the arrivals section of the airport as close to the doors as possible, watching as the doors slide open and waiting anxiously for their face to appear. Knowing that their imminent arrival means the months apart is about to be erased in that single split second moment when you’re reunited. When you’re waiting it feels like a lifetime, and when their face finally does appear through the doors, the feeling is indescribable.

I read a quote recently, ”Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.” How true is that? Has anyone seen that tv programme that was aired a few years ago? ”Hello, Goodbye” (Click HERE to read more about it, with a brilliant description of the other side of airports!) I loved that programme. A simple concept, cameras placed at the airport in arrivals and departures, filming couples, families and friends saying goodbye to their loved ones as they set off on a journey somewhere, or, the best part, filming when others have been reuined after long periods apart. Airports are emotional places, there’s no denying it. Most people see airports as exciting places, the minute they step foot in one their holiday begins. Its the first stepping stone to sitting on that beach, beer in hand and sun on your face… But for me it’s bittersweet, the excitement of arriving, and the heartbreak of leaving again. When I moved to Turkey it was always exciting coming back to England, seeing family, then there were always tears from everyone when we left again, and now obviously it’s the same, only Berkay is the one coming and going. I’m not one to show my emotions in public, rarely cry in front of other people, yet the airport is always the one place that gets me.

For now, I’m just looking forward to 18.35 next Wednesday when Berkay will once again land on English soil (: 7 more sleeps and counting.

I hope to update my blog a lot more when Berkay is here, and I’d like to do something special when I reach 100,000 views, if anyone has any ideas? Perhaps another giveaway, something better?
I’d also like to say a massive thanks to everyone commenting or sending me facebook messages after reading my blog posts. I know I’m terrible at replying, I just don’t have time at the moment. But I read every single one, and welcome and appreciate all comments. I promise to reply in the next few days. ❤

Calis changes, dog walks & the canal..

Posted on March 2, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

On his day off Berkay likes to go walking through Calis.

He took Boncuk with him and went for a long walk up a hill with a beautiful view from the top (click here to see my old post with photos of the view!) We used to take her for a walk everyday and more often than not ended up walking to the top of this hill, we always had it to ourselves which meant Boncuk could run free off the lead safely, with no cars, people or other animals nearby. She loves to sit up there and have cuddles, look down over Calis or just play fetch. It’s so peaceful there.

On the way back to the hotel they stay in, they took the road that goes past our old apartment (the top floor)… This apartment is nothing special, in fact it was pretty poor, and only 350tl a month, the equivalent of around £100 (which was still half of Berkay’s entire income!) .. but it was ours. It still makes me sad imagining other people in our house, cooking in our kitchen, sleeping in our room, sitting on our balcony… I try not to think about it too much, because when I do it just upsets me.
Click here for an old post with more photos of inside the apartment.

Anyway, after they got back to the hotel, Berkay left Boncuk and carried on walking to the investigate the new-look canal. I’ve mentioned in a previous post about the changes they are doing, but I really can’t believe how different it looks.
Here’s a photo of the canal (left) taken a year ago, and the new, wider, cleaner canal with no plants (right) taken last week, both photos taken in the exact same place.

The changes they’re making are all for the better, it’s going to look like a different place when I go back!

How did our cheesy, love story begin?

Posted on February 9, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

I’ve mentioned before that our relationship started as the very typical, cheesy, holiday romance story that everyone is so quick to judge, but I’ve never really gone into much detail about how we met, so here it goes!

In July 2010, me and one of my best friends decided to go on holiday, we trusted my Dad to choose the destination, and he chose Calis Beach, Fethiye. We went in July for a week, after we’d finished our A-level exams and had just left college. I was 18 years old…

The hotel we stayed in, who would have thought back then, that I’d eventually be living around the corner to here, walking past it and waving Berkay off to work there everyday for 2 years..

It started off as a normal girly holiday… until roses kept appearing on my sunbed, and outside my room door. (I can see you rolling your eyes…I told you it was a cheesy story!!) I ignored them at first, but eventually realised it was one of the waiters doing it.. you guessed it, this particular waiter was Berkay!

The view from our balcony and the pool, where a lot of time was spent spying on Berkay with my friend 😉

We hardly spoke, actually he could hardly speak English … (I can see you rolling your eyes again!) … on the last night of our holiday, he got his friend to write a note to me saying ‘Do you want to go out for a walk with me’. Going against my mum, dad and everyone else’s advice of ‘don’t go off with anyone on your own’, and risking loosing the friendship I had with my friend by leaving her alone in the hotel on the last night… I went. We went for a walk along the beach and ended up staying there until 5am, just walking back and forth. Luckily, Berkay wasn’t dangerous, and my best friend forgave me for abandoning her. I wouldn’t advise anyone to go off alone like I did though just for the record, I went against my better judgement but thank goodness I did, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have ever seen Berkay again or be who I am today…

This was the first and only photo we had together from July 2010..

The time came to go home, and of course I was devastated, we swapped numbers, msn addresses & facebook ‘friended’ each other, but honestly I didn’t expect to hear from him again, everyone knows the reputation Turkish guys have… Oh how wrong I was, even before I had got to the airport I had a text, and a couple more awaited me when I landed back in the UK.

We spoke everynight on MSN without fail, every night after his work had finished, Berkay would walk to the internet cafe and we’d talk to 3-4am. My family all thought I was crazy of course, and hoped it was all just a holiday romance.

The good old days, back in 2010 when we’d speak to each other on MSN all night, every night.

I decided I wanted to go back and visit Berkay, alone this time, and my parents very, very, very reluctantly agreed. I had strict instructions to keep in contact 24/7 and obviously they knew the hotel address I was staying in.. So, in October 2010 I went back to Turkey for a week, this time we stayed together in Remer Hotel. Although I already knew Berkay well from speaking on MSN everyday, this was our first real chance to get to know each other in person. He had learnt English really quickly, and was pretty fluent by then. I have to add, going abroad alone, flying alone, to meet someone I’d hardly spent time with in person, is very out of character for me, I’m the shyest person I know, people who have met me will probably agree.. I have no idea what came over me.. love makes you do funny things I guess! We had a great week together and done the typical tourist things, we visisted Oludeniz and done a few boat trips, including one in the pouring rain and wind, it was freezing. The most memorable thing from this whole holiday was how we both went in the hotel swimming pool in the cold, stormy rain, and had everyone looking out of their balconys cheering us on, like I said, love makes you do crazy things!

Some of the photos we took together in October 2010.

In January 2011, I decided to visit Berkay again, and did so for a week. This time I felt confident enough to stay in an apartment he was renting in the winter, instead of booking a hotel. The apartment was really bad, it certainly opened up my eyes. I also had a funny Turkish experience on the way to Fethiye from Antalya airport.. Berkay and his friend came to pick me up in his friend’s old banger car.. the fuel gauge was broken and the car kept running out of petrol…the journey should have taken 3.5 hours but ended up taking twice as long. We had another great week together, I met his friends, experienced my first ‘Turkish Picnic’ and enjoyed seeing Turkey outside of the tourist season. Saying bye to Berkay when the time came to go home this time was the hardest, I guess that’s when I knew the only option was to move to Turkey.

A couple of photos from January 2011, this was the turning point when I knew I wanted to move to Turkey.

I can’t remember how the conversation went, but I must’ve told my parents I wanted to move to Turkey, I can’t even remember their reaction, but reluctantly again, they agreed. Neither of them had ever met Berkay, none of my family had, so Mum and her partner at the time, came with me for a week when I made the big move. It was a big decision, one made so much harder as it meant leaving my 3 week old baby sister behind. On the 26th April 2011, I left the UK, packed my life into a suitcase, and moved to Turkey. Whilst there, we had a bad experience which left mum’s partner in hospital for 3 days, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as it gave Berkay a chance to prove to her how loving, kind and caring he was. He helped them so much over those few days, that she felt confident enough leaving me with him when they returned to the UK a week later.

April 2011

This is a personal favourite photo. Taken in the first few days after I moved to Turkey, me looking out to sea at Oludeniz. It reminds me how I’d entered the big wide world away from parents and the comforts of home, which were thousands of miles, and oceans away.

Berkay found us an apartment, which until September 2013, we called home. I feel like we proved everyone wrong, it’s not the typical Turkish boy/English girl story. He has now met all of my family, visited the UK 5 times, and is now as much a part of my family as the rest of us, they all love him.

The rest of my story is documented on this blog, from my last few days in Turkey, to the reasons I moved back to the UK, the difficulties to adapting to life back here, the joy at being reunited, and the sadness at being apart again..

Those were the first 3 years, lets hope there are many more to come… I will carry on blogging through all of them.
To be continued… ❤

A Christmassy afternoon out!

Posted on December 20, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

We all got well and truely into the Christmas spirit yesterday, as after I finished work we all went to see Father Christmas at his grotto in Polhill, Sevenoaks.

Obviously we only went for my little sister (yeah right 😉 ) even if she was scared and refused a photo with Father Christmas, bless. She did sit in his sleigh though, and made Berkay hop in for a photo too!
Personally I loved the cute. but slightly scary talking bears, owl, reindeer and trees… we had to pose for a photo with Rudolph to capture the moment 😉

Father Christmas told us all a little story about a poor tiny Christmas tree that nobody wanted.. bless. He was a little bit scary, I can see why my sister didn’t want to be anywhere near him!
After wandering around the rest of the garden centre (we came away with nothing more than 3 bars of chocolate and a bag of oranges!) we went to a nearby Toby Carvery and had a yummy roast Turkey dinner. It was all very Christmassy!

6 more sleeps til Santa…

Reunited!!

Posted on December 18, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

We picked Berkay up from the airport last night!! 🙂

His flight landed at 22.45 and about 45 minutes later he appeared! Me and Dad stood right by the arrivals door so we could see him coming around the corner, we were getting rather impatient but eventually he came wandering through, after apparently being stopped and having all his suitcase searched! He must have looked dodgy 😉

A quick hug, kiss and a photo later, we made our way to the car and Berkay got greeted by the lovely, typical British weather, it was peeing down with rain!

We got home at 1.30am, and went straight to sleep. At 7am this morning when my alarm went off, I really didn’t want to get up and go to work. Berkay was all nice and cosy in bed and I had to leave him to go to work all day. It’s usually the other way around! 😉

He stayed at home all day and was reunited with my little sister, who adores him. Apparently she had been crying when she realised Berkay was still asleep earlier in the day as she wanted to see him so badly, bless. As soon as he woke up she made up for lost time and had him straight on the floor doing puzzles, building megablock houses and doing some colouring. She’s like his little sheep at the moment, it’s cute. Before she went to bed tonight she said ‘night night Berkay, are you going back to Turkey?’… I think she just wanted to make sure he’d still be here in the morning when she wakes up!

We had a mini belated birthday celebration, as it was Berkay’s birthday on Friday. My sister and step-mum made little Mr Men fairy cakes and we stuck sparkly candles in them. He opened his presents and cards and we had a lovely Chinese for dinner.

Tomorrow I’m only working in the morning so we can spend the afternoon together, we’re all going to see Father Christmas, I wonder if he’ll think Berkay has been naughty or nice 😉

Fethiye is beautiful..

Posted on September 22, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Fethiye is always beautiful, the mountains, blue skies and turquoise sea make for a lovely backdrop, but sometimes when living here, you take it all for granted. Sometimes you just need to take time out to remember just how beautiful it really is.

Last week we walked the 163 steps up to what is known as ‘hill of the lovers’ (Asiklar Tepesi ) in Fethiye town. There’s no doubt it’s a very romantic place. There are little benches overlapping the edge and one small cafe at the top. The panoramic views there are breathtaking. There isn’t really much more I can say, the photos speak for themselves.

Amazing.

Holiday fling or the real thing? Can relationships with Turkish men really last?

Posted on September 15, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

During a relaxing, carefree holiday In Turkey, it’s all so easy to fall in love with a handsome stranger with a sexy accent, romantic walks on the beach, watching sunsets together and a lot of fun in the sun, but what happens when you return home, can the relationship continue or will he forget about you as soon as you board the plane?

We’ve all seen the typical ‘Take a Break’ magazine stories about Turkish men being love rats, cheating on British women, manipulating them for their money or using them for a visa, but are they all like that? The answer is no, they’re not, and some (and only some) holiday romances can go the distance and turn into loving, long lasting relationships and marriages.

A lot of things really depend on what circumstances you met in. If you met him while he was working in a bar one night and the only communication you had was while either one or both of you were drunk, the chances are it’s not going to turn into a real meaningful relationship. Drunken conversation and sex does not make a good foundation. What is more important is spending real quality time together and getting to know each other properly before moving forward, although admittedly that is difficult whilst on a short holiday. The normal rules of dating are put on fast forward, it’s easy to get carried away and fall head over heels when everything is moving quickly, you know your time together is limited and that you’ll soon be returning home so everything is rushed. First date, second date, first kiss,sex…It all happens in a blur and it’s difficult to know what is going to happen next and what it all means.

I suppose it’s important to figure out if it is love, or lust. Is it really possible to fall in love with someone in a country thousands of miles away from home where there are so many obstacles to overcome? The language barrier is an important one. Is it really possible to ‘love’ someone you can hardly communicate with? Communication is key. Getting to know each other from 4000 miles away is never easy, but nowadays with Skype, Facebook, FaceTime, email and text, there really is no excuse not to keep in touch, if that’s what you want.

An important thing to be sure of is that you are both wanting the same thing, are you both looking for a quick fling, or is one of you more serious than the other? While on holiday, a lot of us let our guards down, we are physically and emotionally relaxed and free from all the stresses of home, this makes it oh so easy to get carried away, but in reality, when you’re 4000 miles away back at home and have work to do and bills to pay, are you still going to be as interested in your Turkish ‘lover’? If you are serious about the relationship, be certain he is too. A lot of Turkish men working in resorts see a lot of women come and go, as soon as one flight leaves, another arrives. Some men see women, British in particular, as easy and fun loving. They assume, rightly or wrongly, that these women want nothing more than 2 weeks of fun, and the reality is he probably won’t be interested in keeping in touch until you’re back next year.

Turkish men have a reputation as being love-rats, only interested in money and a visa. Sure, some of these men are really clever, scheming, con artists who cover their tracks well, however, in most circumstances there are some clear signs that your ‘relationship’ is doomed. Don’t ignore the signs and leave your brains at the airport. If you’re old enough to be his grandmother, or great-grandmother, he’s probably not genuine. If he runs to the toilet when his phone rings, he’s probably talking to one of his many other holiday flings, or a Turkish wife. If he tells you he loves you in broken English after having known you 5 mintues, he’s probably not genuine. Once you’re home, is he constantly making excuses and too busy to talk to you? Did you do a bit of Facebook stalking and find out he actually has 5 different profiles with photos of him and a different girl on each one? These are all huge red flags, don’t fall for his charm or excuses, it’s not worth the heartbreak in the end.

A lot of women who have experienced the above sell their stories to magazines or newspapers or create online groups and blogs ‘warning’ everyone about the dangers of Turkish men. There seems to be an assumption that all Turkish men will try their luck and manipulate British women for money. If your fella gives you a list of duty free alcohol, trainers and the latest iPhone he wants you to bring out the next time you visit, realise he is not genuinely in love with you, he is more interested in your bank balance. If every time you speak to him he mentions how his mother, father or sister’s friend’s dog-sitter etc.. is ill and he needs money to pay the hospital bill, end the conversation and delete him from your life. He’s lying.

Turkish men are not all scheming, money grabbing rats, far from it. Generally, Turkish men are very proud; they work to provide for their families and would never ask someone for money, especially a woman. Using my relationship as an example, I don’t have a penny to my name, Berkay works hard everyday to provide for us both. When family come to visit, the most he’s ever asked them for is a bottle of Nando’s sauce.

If people try to tell you that your guy isn’t genuine, that he’s cheating on you or using you for money, most of the time they are probably right. Don’t dismiss their concern as ‘jealousy’. Take their concerns on board and be wary. If the signs are there, pay attention and take notice, if not, stay on guard but don’t turn into a bunny boiling stalker.

Trust is important. When you’re living 4000 miles away from someone, it’s going to be impossible to know what they’re doing and who they are with every minute of the day. Gut instinct will be the key, if you think he doesn’t deserve your trust or he’s acting suspiciously, move on, there is no way a long distance relationship will ever work if you cannot trust each other.

The most important thing for me is can you really make the long distance relationship work? Are you patient enough to understand that while friends and people around you may be settling down and moving on with their lives, you’re going to be back and forth only seeing each other for a limited number of days per year until you come to a decision as to where your future is? You can only visit each other so much as your job, and your bank balance permits. At some point, one of you is going to have to give up your life in your own country and move away from your friends, family , job and everything you’ve ever known, it’s inevitable and is the only way forward, eventually.

This brings us to the issue of visas. Depsite what everyone thinks, visas to the UK are not easy to obtain, if you are unwilling to try to settle in Turkey, be prepared for a long battle to get your Turkish partner to the UK, it’s not something to take lightly, it’s a long, hard process and the stress can be enough to split couples up.

There are also cultural differences, and religion pays a large part in some circumstances too. Is he Muslim? Will he expect you to give up certain things? Will he expect you to be a stay at home mum/housewife? Is he willing to let go of some of his more traditional Turkish cultural values, and are you willing to give up some of yours? Can you come to a compromise?

If both of you are willing to make it work and put in the effort as well as having the patience, trust, understanding and communication, your relationship may well turn into something wonderful. If not, enjoy it for what it is and move on, either way you’ll have great memories.