Bodrum Day 2. Castle, boats & starbucks.

Posted on October 2, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Not so impressed with Gumbet, on Thursday we decided to go to Bodrum town. I absolutely LOVED IT. Perhaps even as much as I love Fethiye!

After the previous nights dinner, expectations were high for breakfast, we weren’t disappointed though. A huge buffet table greeted us, boiled eggs, omelette, tomato, cucumber, cheese, salami, chicken, fruit, honey, jam, biscuits, olives, chips, bread..and of course bottomless glasses of cay/Turkish tea.

After breakfast we got the dolmus to Bodrum and walked through the main town towards the marina. It was beautiful, all undercover and hundreds of little boutiques and shops selling everything from paintings to jewellery, clothes, bags, food.. I found these cute cushions with paintings of Bodrum on, clever.

The harbour/marina was lovely, such a pretty backdrop with the bright blue skies and hundreds of boats. We walked along the harbour and found the castle. So pretty and impressive too, especially at night when it’s all lit up.

We walked along to the castle for a better look, I wanted to go inside but we decided the 20tl each fee was too expensive, instead we walked around the cafe in the castle grounds and found the little photobooth offering photos dressed up as a Sultan. This was great fun and we ended up spending 40tl on photos, we could have just paid the castle entry fee after all. Oh well. It was a lovely place.

While we were having these funny photos taken, I spotted a lady walking around with a coffee cup that looked suspiciously like Starbucks. I made it our mission to find it and had Berkay asking 4 different people for directions. We eventually found the Starbucks and sat in their little garden with our Frappuccinos. Yummy. So refreshing in the heat! We paid 20tl for two though, ouch. We really were living like tourists for these 2 days!

The view from Starbucks was lovely, crystal clear water and a little path at the side where you could walk up to the castle. We followed the path and the views were amazing from the top. We had a little mini photoshoot as always, and made our way back down.

It was 4pm by this point and we really wanted to go back to the hotel for a swim before it got too late, as we knew the pool would be cold again. We got the dolmus back to Gumbet and had a swim and another game of volleyball, we had the pool to ourselves again and had some fun taking some underwater photos with my special iPod case.
So cheesy.

Then it was time to get ready for dinner again, I wore a new dress I bought in Bodrum. I hate clothes shopping, I can never find anything that looks right on me, but I loved this dress.

Dinner was amazing again, this time it was vegetable soup, mized meze, manti, salad, bread, steak with mushrooms and cake for dessert. Mmm.

After dinner we walked all the way to a mini themepark, it was a long walk, 30-40 minutes there and another 30-40minutes back again. It was lovely and cool so it was a nice evening walk. We purchased tickets for 2 rides, a giant pirate ship, which was the scariest, steepest pirate ship ride i’d ever been on, and another ride that span you around.. I thought I might see my dinner again haha!

After the rides, we walked back to Gumbet and met Berkay’s brothers in bar street. We went to a bar and paid 50tl for 4 beers and a vodka and coke, OUCH. Bodrum is not cheap, it’s the most expensive place i’ve visited in Turkey, even in the non touristy parts, water, crisps, bread..everything in the shops is more expensive. I’m glad we don’t live there.

Bodrum Day 1. Hotel, beaches & food.

Posted on October 2, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

It seems like such a long time ago now, but it was only actually two weeks ago today we went to Bodrum. We had a great time and it was lovely to spend some time together, they were the first days Berkay had off work since April!
These posts may be photo-heavy, I get very snap-happy with the camera…

At 9.30 am, just after Berkay came home from work, we boarded the little bus to Bodrum. It cost 35tl each and I can’t say it was very comfortable.. it was tiny and full. Luckily, most of the people were going to Mugla and we had the bus to ourselves for the second half of the journey so we could spread out.

Four and a half hours later, we arrived at Bodrum otogar (bus station), we hopped on a Dolmus to Gumbet and found our hotel (The Best Life hotels) When we arrived at the hotel, they greeted us with this little non-alcoholic cocktail. Yummy.

The hotel was so, so quiet. Apparently it was half full, but since the guests were mainly party people, they literally slept all day, and went out to bar street all night. No complaints here, we had the pool to ourselves most of the time and only 1-2 other couples at dinner/breakfast with us!

We got settled in our room then went for a little swim.

The pool was freezing, so after a quick dip and a game of volleyball, we headed out for a walk.

I wasn’t impressed with Gumbet at all, the beach was packed, everyone crowded on sunbeds like sardines, barely an inch between the beds. It was so dirty too. The roads and sidewalks were filthy, definitely not a fan. Our hotel was right next to bar street, but compared to the rest of the town, I actually liked it there (surprisingly for me… I normally hate loud, obnoxious bars. haha) By this time it was really cloudy, which made the place look worse. It still made a nice change though.

After our walk we headed back to our hotel room. We sat and played Triominos for a bit (hello, old granny game!) and had showers then got ready to eat.

We booked our hotel half board as we thought it would be cheaper than eating out, it cost 100tl extra for the two of us over two days. It was well worth the money, the food was amazing! Tomato soup for starters, then Turkish mixed meze (a lot of it!), salad, bread, 2 bowls of manti (Turkish food), a bbq with a huge selection of chips, rice, steak, chicken and meatballs. There was desert too but we were far too full to eat it. I was really impressed, it was so tasty!

After dinner we took the dolmus to Ortakent. This was definitely a Turkish resort, I only saw 2 English people walking around in the 2-3 hours we were there. Berkay’s brothers work there so we had a catch up with them and a wander along the seafront, it was really pretty. It reminded me a lot of Calis Beach, only less British influenced.

After all that, we went back to our hotel in Gumbet, sat by the pool for a little while then went up to our room, after having no sleep the night before, we both fell asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow, despite the banging music we could hear coming from bar street!

Fethiye is beautiful..

Posted on September 22, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Fethiye is always beautiful, the mountains, blue skies and turquoise sea make for a lovely backdrop, but sometimes when living here, you take it all for granted. Sometimes you just need to take time out to remember just how beautiful it really is.

Last week we walked the 163 steps up to what is known as ‘hill of the lovers’ (Asiklar Tepesi ) in Fethiye town. There’s no doubt it’s a very romantic place. There are little benches overlapping the edge and one small cafe at the top. The panoramic views there are breathtaking. There isn’t really much more I can say, the photos speak for themselves.

Amazing.

Where have I been?

Posted on September 22, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Firstly, I’d like to apologise for not sticking to my promise of ‘blogging everyday’, it’s been nearly a week since my last post. I haven’t fallen of the face of the planet, but I have been really busy and had a lot on my mind.

We spent two days/nights in Bodrum last week, it was a very last minute thing, we booked the hotel on Tuesday and left first thing Wednesday morning. It was Berkays first day off work since April, and we were so grateful for the time together, it was lovely. I’ll do a separate post about it all later on.

The next thing that happened was I booked my flight back to the UK for good. I had been putting it off for as long as possible but the prices were getting more expensive and I couldn’t find anymore excuses not to book. It’s booked for Thursday night. This is the main reason I haven’t posted, I’m not really in the mood to be posting about all the wonderful things about Turkey when I’m about to give it all up. I’ll explain why in another post.

I have also been busy finishing a cross-stitch order, it has to be completed by mid week and I am running out of time!

Today we went for a lovely picnic with our friends, the last one for a long time. I’ve been trying to make the most of my last few days here. It still doesn’t feel real that I’m leaving. It’s not going to sink in til I’m sat on that plane alone, flying up and watching all the things I know and love be left behind on the ground.

I have 3 or 4 posts coming up really soon, but after that I’m not sure what or when I’ll be posting on here, but I will keep it as up to date as possible. Thanks for reading as always.

Holiday fling or the real thing? Can relationships with Turkish men really last?

Posted on September 15, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

During a relaxing, carefree holiday In Turkey, it’s all so easy to fall in love with a handsome stranger with a sexy accent, romantic walks on the beach, watching sunsets together and a lot of fun in the sun, but what happens when you return home, can the relationship continue or will he forget about you as soon as you board the plane?

We’ve all seen the typical ‘Take a Break’ magazine stories about Turkish men being love rats, cheating on British women, manipulating them for their money or using them for a visa, but are they all like that? The answer is no, they’re not, and some (and only some) holiday romances can go the distance and turn into loving, long lasting relationships and marriages.

A lot of things really depend on what circumstances you met in. If you met him while he was working in a bar one night and the only communication you had was while either one or both of you were drunk, the chances are it’s not going to turn into a real meaningful relationship. Drunken conversation and sex does not make a good foundation. What is more important is spending real quality time together and getting to know each other properly before moving forward, although admittedly that is difficult whilst on a short holiday. The normal rules of dating are put on fast forward, it’s easy to get carried away and fall head over heels when everything is moving quickly, you know your time together is limited and that you’ll soon be returning home so everything is rushed. First date, second date, first kiss,sex…It all happens in a blur and it’s difficult to know what is going to happen next and what it all means.

I suppose it’s important to figure out if it is love, or lust. Is it really possible to fall in love with someone in a country thousands of miles away from home where there are so many obstacles to overcome? The language barrier is an important one. Is it really possible to ‘love’ someone you can hardly communicate with? Communication is key. Getting to know each other from 4000 miles away is never easy, but nowadays with Skype, Facebook, FaceTime, email and text, there really is no excuse not to keep in touch, if that’s what you want.

An important thing to be sure of is that you are both wanting the same thing, are you both looking for a quick fling, or is one of you more serious than the other? While on holiday, a lot of us let our guards down, we are physically and emotionally relaxed and free from all the stresses of home, this makes it oh so easy to get carried away, but in reality, when you’re 4000 miles away back at home and have work to do and bills to pay, are you still going to be as interested in your Turkish ‘lover’? If you are serious about the relationship, be certain he is too. A lot of Turkish men working in resorts see a lot of women come and go, as soon as one flight leaves, another arrives. Some men see women, British in particular, as easy and fun loving. They assume, rightly or wrongly, that these women want nothing more than 2 weeks of fun, and the reality is he probably won’t be interested in keeping in touch until you’re back next year.

Turkish men have a reputation as being love-rats, only interested in money and a visa. Sure, some of these men are really clever, scheming, con artists who cover their tracks well, however, in most circumstances there are some clear signs that your ‘relationship’ is doomed. Don’t ignore the signs and leave your brains at the airport. If you’re old enough to be his grandmother, or great-grandmother, he’s probably not genuine. If he runs to the toilet when his phone rings, he’s probably talking to one of his many other holiday flings, or a Turkish wife. If he tells you he loves you in broken English after having known you 5 mintues, he’s probably not genuine. Once you’re home, is he constantly making excuses and too busy to talk to you? Did you do a bit of Facebook stalking and find out he actually has 5 different profiles with photos of him and a different girl on each one? These are all huge red flags, don’t fall for his charm or excuses, it’s not worth the heartbreak in the end.

A lot of women who have experienced the above sell their stories to magazines or newspapers or create online groups and blogs ‘warning’ everyone about the dangers of Turkish men. There seems to be an assumption that all Turkish men will try their luck and manipulate British women for money. If your fella gives you a list of duty free alcohol, trainers and the latest iPhone he wants you to bring out the next time you visit, realise he is not genuinely in love with you, he is more interested in your bank balance. If every time you speak to him he mentions how his mother, father or sister’s friend’s dog-sitter etc.. is ill and he needs money to pay the hospital bill, end the conversation and delete him from your life. He’s lying.

Turkish men are not all scheming, money grabbing rats, far from it. Generally, Turkish men are very proud; they work to provide for their families and would never ask someone for money, especially a woman. Using my relationship as an example, I don’t have a penny to my name, Berkay works hard everyday to provide for us both. When family come to visit, the most he’s ever asked them for is a bottle of Nando’s sauce.

If people try to tell you that your guy isn’t genuine, that he’s cheating on you or using you for money, most of the time they are probably right. Don’t dismiss their concern as ‘jealousy’. Take their concerns on board and be wary. If the signs are there, pay attention and take notice, if not, stay on guard but don’t turn into a bunny boiling stalker.

Trust is important. When you’re living 4000 miles away from someone, it’s going to be impossible to know what they’re doing and who they are with every minute of the day. Gut instinct will be the key, if you think he doesn’t deserve your trust or he’s acting suspiciously, move on, there is no way a long distance relationship will ever work if you cannot trust each other.

The most important thing for me is can you really make the long distance relationship work? Are you patient enough to understand that while friends and people around you may be settling down and moving on with their lives, you’re going to be back and forth only seeing each other for a limited number of days per year until you come to a decision as to where your future is? You can only visit each other so much as your job, and your bank balance permits. At some point, one of you is going to have to give up your life in your own country and move away from your friends, family , job and everything you’ve ever known, it’s inevitable and is the only way forward, eventually.

This brings us to the issue of visas. Depsite what everyone thinks, visas to the UK are not easy to obtain, if you are unwilling to try to settle in Turkey, be prepared for a long battle to get your Turkish partner to the UK, it’s not something to take lightly, it’s a long, hard process and the stress can be enough to split couples up.

There are also cultural differences, and religion pays a large part in some circumstances too. Is he Muslim? Will he expect you to give up certain things? Will he expect you to be a stay at home mum/housewife? Is he willing to let go of some of his more traditional Turkish cultural values, and are you willing to give up some of yours? Can you come to a compromise?

If both of you are willing to make it work and put in the effort as well as having the patience, trust, understanding and communication, your relationship may well turn into something wonderful. If not, enjoy it for what it is and move on, either way you’ll have great memories.

An afternoon at the beach..

Posted on September 13, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

I always used to think how odd it looked when Turkish families rocked up to the beach in the height of summer, fully clothed with rugs, cushions and pots and pans in tow to enjoy a full on family feast. Today I realised I have become one of these people.

My level of Turkish-ness definitely peaked today. I wanted to for a swim with Berkay and thought it would be nice to take some food along with us, I found myself marinating some chicken breast in Nandos sauce (we’re addicted to it) at 6am this morning, ready to cook in the oven before we went this afternoon. We ended up taking the chicken, some pasta and salad all nicely stored in saucepans and old ice-cream tubs and shoved in my bag… along with towels, a blanket, 2 cushions, plates, cutlery, a bottle of coke and the trusty salt pot. God knows what the tourists thought, Calis Beach was pretty busy with bikini clad sun worshiping tourists, and there we were, walking along trying to find an empty spot to set up our little feast. We did find a fairly quiet spot luckily.

It was lovely, but by the time we had walked 20 minutes in the 38 degree heat and were sweaty, hot and bothered, we weren’t all that hungry and couldn’t finish it all. Boncuk was grateful for the leftovers for dinner though!

After a little mini photo-shoot (I am way too snap happy, 7000 photos taken on my iPod in just 5 months..) we had a little swim, the sea is still lovely and warm at this time of year, perfect.

We had time for a quick walk and hugs with Boncuk before Berkay went to work too, isn’t this photo adorable? True love 🙂

One big holiday?

Posted on August 24, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

I live in a tourist destination, surrounded by sun, sea and sand. But does that mean my life is one big holiday? Definitely not.

I apologise in advance, this will be a rant. There is nothing that frustrates me more than people making comments about how my life must be one big holiday since I live Turkey. Friends, Facebook friends, even family, there have been plenty of people commenting exactly that.

I suppose it depends on what your idea of a holiday is really. To me, and from what I observe of a lot of holiday makers, a holiday in Turkey is a get away from the stresses of home, a week or two in the sun with the ones you love, worrying about nothing more than which restaurant to go to for dinner. Relaxing in the sun, getting a tan and swimming. No worries about paying the bills, no cooking, no cleaning. Room service, restaurants and maids to do all that for you. No working. A fun few weeks abroad, knowing your house and all the familiarity and luxuries of home are waiting for you to return at the end of it. Of course, not all holidays are like that, but this is just my opinion from observations.

Sure, I don’t work, but that is where the similarities between a holiday, and my life end.

The sun is lovely, and I’m lucky to live in a place where it’s guaranteed sunshine for almost 6 months of the year, but the 35 oC+ heat is not so lovely when you don’t have the option of laying around a pool all day. As I have previously mentioned, I don’t have a pool, or air con, so getting up, going to the market, walking everywhere, cooking, cleaning and doing housework in the heat are all part of my everyday life, not something I’d consider part of a holiday. I’ve commented in the past about how much British people love to complain about how it’s too hot to do anything when the temperatures reach 20oC + in the UK, people always reply ‘its different when you’re abroad’ . Its not the country that makes it different, its the lifestyle, of course the temperatures feel a lot different when you don’t have the option of sitting by a pool and doing nothing all day.

We don’t have a holiday lifestyle at all. In the 2.5 years I’ve lived here, I have never been to a bar. We don’t drink alcohol. I’ve been to a seafront restaurant with Berkay a handful of times (unless it’s in a turkish cafe, we do go to those more often). We’ve been swimming a total of 6 times this year (apart from when family were here, and yes, I counted).

I don’t consider spending the majority of time on my own while Berkay is working 15 hours a day, a holiday. It’s isolating. It’s lonely. We never get to spend more than 5 hours a day together, let alone a week or two. I also don’t think people realise just how little money we have, in summer it’s not so bad, £460 a month. I’m willing to bet a person on holiday here would spend that, or more, in a week. Winter in Turkey is the hardest, living off £250 between two people is impossible. Spending the end of every month wondering where our next meal is going to come from, whether or not the internet supplier is going to cut us off if we pay it late, that’s not part of a holiday. Getting into debt with friends in order to pay bills, that’s not part of a holiday.

It’s not a holiday not knowing when you’re going to see your family again, always having to say goodbye to someone, always missing someone, whether it be my parents, brother and sister, my boyfriend or my dog. There is always someone. My holiday is when i go back to the UK with Berkay, I get to spend Christmas with him and my family, stop worrying about money for a few weeks and enjoy the luxuries I had back in England. That is my holiday.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m lucky, and of course there are tons of reasons why living in Turkey is great, the good outweighs the bad perhaps, but that is for another post. I know this is the lifestyle I have chosen for myself, for now. I love living here. I know there are millions, billions of people worse off than me. This isn’t a post to make you feel sorry for me, its a post to make you realise living in Turkey is not a holiday. Not for anyone. No more so than living in London- a huge tourist destination, is a holiday for the millions of people who live there.

It is really infuriating to see people dismissing my life as ‘one big holiday’ when that is a million miles away from the truth.

Market Day, hip hip hooray!

Posted on August 19, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

One of the best things about living in Turkey (besides the sunshine! ) is the cheap, fresh fruit and vegetables. And there is no better place to get them than at the weekly markets.

Instead of heading to the air conditioned big supermarket’s like Kipa (Tesco) or Migros, and buying perfect size/shape fruits and vegetables, we buy the same things for a much cheaper price in the market. In fact, we manage to do most, if not all, of our weekly shop there. Granted, the experience of being pushed and shoved through crowds of people in 35oC+ heat under tents, haggling to get everything a couple of lira cheaper is a little stressful, but it’s all part of the experience, and I love it.

The market’s are held every Sunday in Çalis, and every Tuesday in Fethiye. We always go in the late evening, it’s cooler and as everyone starts to pack up it’s much easier to haggle a good price ( just shout ‘‘Aksam fiyati” at them) It’s all undercover so no need to worry about getting burnt, although it’s still very hot under there.

Fethiye market is the largest, and best. It is popular with tourists, but you’ll easily spot the thousands of locals doing their weekly shop there too. There are hundreds (literally) of stalls filled with fruit, vegetables, herbs, plants, even fresh milk and olive oil packaged into empty coke bottles from the villages. You have to see it to believe just how impressive it really is. Everything is done by kilograms, if you went to the market for just a couple of tomatoes, the stall holder would look at you like you had two heads. We normally buy several kilograms of tomatoes, potatoes, onions, peppers, etc. I think my arms have grown a few inches with the amount I carry home! You really have to look around for the best prices, it’s not uncommon for us to spot tomatoes for 2tl and walk up and down for another 10 minutes until we find some for 50 krs (15p) cheaper (every little helps, and all that!) It’s all part of the fun.

There’s also a ~~very smelly~~ cheese section of the market, a section with bags full of spices, a meat & egg section, and my favourite part – the Turkish delight (Lokum) section. Yum. Most will offer you free samples too.

Past the food section there is a little area with tables, chairs, and vans selling Turkish pancakes etc. Another post coming about that soon.

Beyond all that, is the section mainly for tourists. It’s practically non existent in winter when everyone has gone home! Here you can find everything you’d want for a souvenir. Bracelets, watches, keyrings, sunhats, sunglasses, shoes, towels, bedding, blankets, baby clothes, t-shirts, football shirts, dresses, belts, bags, wallets, even pots and pans. You name it, they’ve got it. Be careful though, don’t be fooled by the Nike or Adidas badges, the football shirts, the Versace or Chanel sunglasses. They are not real. They are lovingly known as ‘genuine fakes’, a little joke among stall holders and customers. Walking along, you’ll hear ‘cheap as chips’, ‘primark prices’ shouted at you from all directions, but there shouldn’t be too much hassle. If you’re not interested, make it clear, but it’s always fun to join in the banter. Once you’ve found something you do like, NEVER pay what they ask, always haggle. Don’t be afraid, if you don’t ask, you don’t get, and the stall holders expect it. My best advice is to take a local Turkish person along with you, if someone is there who can speak Turkish, you’ll get a better deal. Sad, but true.

We don’t often buy clothes or other goods from the market, just food. But when my family come to visit, they always go home with a few bags of goodies. If you’re passing by, or need a break from the pool for a few hours (yea right!) visit the market to see exactly what i’m talking about.

If nothing else, its an experience.