New Year’s Eve

Posted on January 6, 2014 by livingtheturkishdream

While most people spent New Years in the warm at parties or celebrating with friends and family, me and Berkay decided to go up to London and watch the fireworks..

First we took a detour to the O2, where we had lunch at Chiquitos, I booked in advance thinking it would be busy, but we were the only ones in there when we arrived at 2pm, perhaps everyone was preparing themselves for the night ahead. We had a lovely meal, with nachos to start, then Berkay had a half chicken with piri piri sauce, and I had the piri piri chicken fajitas. ~~Well, if you can’t have actual Nandos, you might as well order the closest thing possible, right?~~

After lunch we headed straight to Westminster station on the train, we got there around 5pm. Everyone had warned us to get there early in order to get a good spot, we wanted to be facing the London Eye directly from Embankment, and not on one of the bridges like we had 2 years ago. It was a good job we got there when we did, as there were already people sitting down along the whole length of the barriers, apparently some had been there since 11.30am, crazy. We found a good spot almost centre of the London Eye, and there were only 4 people in front of us, so we had a good view.

We sat on our little fold up chairs and ate our snacks. For 7 hours. I still can’t quite believe we just sat there waiting for 7 hours, literally just staring at the London Eye praying the time would go fast, every dong of Big Ben we breathed a sigh of relief that another hour was over! We didn’t bring anything to amuse ourselves, we had no mobile or internet signal on our phones, and were very very bored. A few little arguments broke out over people pushing in and others complaining about being pushed and shoved, that amused us a little at least, it’s good to be nosey, or ‘people-watch’ as my mum calls it.

We were pretty cold, but thank goodness the rain held off til about 11.45pm. Everyone was too excited by then for the rain to bother them. We couldn’t move out of our spot for the entire 7 hours either, so no toilet breaks for us!

Finally at midnight, Big Ben struck and the fireworks started. They were really impressive. We had been told beforehand they were ‘multi-sensory’, each of us had a special wristband that lit up and changed colour in time to the music and fireworks, and fruit smelling spray, mist, bubbles and confetti were blown out by huge canisters, when the fireworks were red we could smell strawberry, when they were orange, we could smell orange, etc. It was definitely different! They lasted over 10 minutes and the sky was completely lit up, beautiful!

Trying to make our way back to the train station after the fireworks wasn’t so fun, hundreds of thousands of people all pushing and shoving, drunk people falling over, smashed glasses and bottles lining the streets, it was a real obstacle course, made all the worse by the rain making everywhere slippery. We followed the crowd of people and ended up in Trafalgar square, which wasn’t where we needed to be… but 4 somewhat helpful policemen later we eventually got there and boarded the packed train. By this point we were half asleep, freezing, busting for a wee and achey, but it was all part of the fun.

Not a drop of alcohol was consumed but we still had a fab time and got some great photos. Can’t say that I fancy waiting another 7.5 hours next year though, the fireworks were amazing and so much better in person, but not sure they are really worth all that waiting around!

Happy New Year everyone, hope 2014 is everything you wish it to be.

Adapting to life back in the UK- Reverse culture shock.

Posted on November 16, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

I recently read a quote somewhere saying ‘the hardest thing about living abroad is returning home’. There have never been words more true.

I may have been back ‘home’ for over 7 weeks now, but adapting to life back in the UK is not easy. After researching, I found out that what I am experiencing is not just me being silly, it’s something that is real, something that others experience too. Reverse culture shock.

We’ve all heard of culture shock, I sure experienced that too when I first moved to Turkey. Moving thousands of miles away and being thrown in at the deep end, oceans away from all my family and friends and the life I had known for 19 years. No more ready meals, no wearing shoes inside, the fact it’s not uncommon to meet someone in the bus stop, instantly learn where he’s from, how old he is, and be invited to some random family occassion they’re holding soon. Adapting to ‘Turkish time’ and accepting that nothing will ever be done quickly. Learning to sleep through the call to prayer at 5am. The infamous Turkish toilets, and not being able to put paper down the normal toilets. Haggling in every shop you come across. Not being able to walk down the street without being called over by everyone you might have met once upon a time. Not hearing any English conversations… none of these are bad things, just very different. I adapted quickly and ended up living 99% like a local ~~minus the village baggy flowery trousers.~~

Culture shock, you expect. But reverse culture shock is different. On return to your ‘home country’ you don’t expect to feel like a foreigner, which is exactly how I still feel. The two and a half years I lived in Turkey I lost my connections to ‘home’, I felt less and less like an English girl, whilst obviously not being Turkish either. It’s a strange feeling, one that I can’t explain. It hits me at the most random times, sat on a bus and hearing English conversations all around, seeing English sign posts, seeing all the food in the English supermarket, it’s all quite overwhelming.

I suppose one of the main things which is difficult to adapt to is the fact that the lives of the people I love and care about at ‘home’ have moved on. Family and friends have new lives, some have attended and graduated university, others are married and have children, my mum has found a boyfriend and is engaged and my little sister who was a 3 week old baby when I left, is now over two and a half years old. Whilst I was not naive enough to expect everything to remain the same, it’s still hard to cope with things being so different to when I left them. Everyone else has moved on, and I’m back starting from the beginning, having to find a new job, adapting to life back with my family, and trying to find time to see friends who are all busy with their own lives. I don’t feel as close to my friends or family anymore, I left my own ‘family’ back in Turkey. I do feel like a foreigner in my own ‘home’.

Living back with my family is hard, after living alone with Berkay for two years. I miss the peace. Quiet evenings without a moody teenager and excitable toddler running around. Selfishly, I miss not having to worry about anyone else and just doing my own thing, washing up when I want, eating when I want, having control of the tv 😉 I feel less independent. I love my family but it’s still such an odd feeling being back, I feel like I’m intruding, this is their home, and not mine.

Another thing hard to adjust and adapt to is the whole ‘want it-get it’ attitude that is common here (I’m not saying every English person lives this way, please no nasty comments!) If someone wants something, they go out and buy it. Food, clothes, a phone.. whatever. While in Turkey I lived on the bare necessities, I had no luxuries. My dad has been bugging me for weeks to go out and buy a coat, or a pair of tights without a hole in the toe. He took out a new phone contract for me last week, despite me telling him I was happy with my ancient LG phone with a black and white screen and no internet capability that belongs in the stone ages. To me, that’s not the normal thing to do, If I were back in Turkey I’d just deal with it and carry on, make do and focus on the more important things like paying bills. I find that people’s priorities here are so backwards. I am starting to fall into that trap now too, especially where food is concerned!

I’m much more judgmental of the UK now I have lived somewhere else, perhaps wrongly, perhaps not. I have seen a different side of life that some have not, people assume I lived like a tourist, had what I wanted when I wanted it and had a life of luxury and a two year holiday. That’s so wrong.

People can’t understand what’s so difficult about returning to their own culture, customs, and language, they say ‘just move on get over it’. It’s really not that easy. The ‘just move on’ attitude doesn’t help, it only makes me feel more isolated, more like I don’t fit in. People not understanding has led to arguments. I was reluctant to do this post as I know any family reading will still be annoyed and upset about the things I say. Having read fellow ex-expat’s blogs about this subject, I decided to post it anyway, it’s important to know these feelings are real and if just one person reads and feels less alone and isolated, then it’s done it’s job.

Visa time..

Posted on November 7, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

It’s been 6 weeks since I last saw Berkay, thankfully time is going by quickly, he’s currently in the process of applying for a visit visa so he can come to England for Christmas.

He’s actually on the bus for the 5 hour journey from Fethiye to Izmir as we speak. We completed the application and made his appointment at the visa application centre for 9am tomorrow morning, fingers crossed everything goes to plan and he gets it granted with no problems, but we won’t find out for up to 3 weeks/15 working days.

He’s had two visit visas granted before, and one refused 2 years ago. Despite what most people think, the UK’s borders are not open for all and it is not easy for citizens of non-European countries to come to the UK, even for a 3 week holiday. The whole process is a very long, detailed one and it is very frustrating. I have spoken before on here about how annoying it is to hear Brits complaining about having to pay the £10 visa fee on arrival in Turkey, and moaning about having to wait for 30 minutes in a queue for the visa stamp. If you compare that to the process of a Turkish person visiting the UK, it really is nothing to complain about at all. The visa fee for non-EU citizens to enter the UK is £80 and even after paying, it is not guaranteed that the visa shall be granted, as we discovered the first time Berkay applied, and was refused.

The amount of paperwork we have to provide is also ridiculous, not only does Berkay have to show his entire life history, prove his ties to turkey in the form of property, land, employment, family links etc, but me, as his partner also have to prove that I exist, copies of my passport, proof of address, evidence of our relationship, photos… Then there is the issue of having enough money. Berkay has no money saved as wages are rubbish, and so has to have a sponsor. My dad is his sponsor, who also has to show bank statements, work contracts, invoices, tax returns, earnings, passport copies, letters, etc. If British people had to show all of this to travel to Turkey, nobody would ever bother going, can you imagine the amount of people who get into debt to pay off holidays etc, they’d all be refused unless they just so happened to have a friend in Turkey who had money saved in the bank.

The previous times Berkay has travelled to England, I have travelled with him. On arrival at the airport we felt like criminals with all the questions asked and people watching us. I understand that checks have to be made, but the whole visa process is ridiculous and horrible. There is always a risk of people overstaying visas or working illegally, but when you’re genuine and know you are going to stick to the rules, it’s frustrating having to prove yourself and have strangers judging your life and making important decisions just by reading pieces of paper.

Fingers crossed he hands in his huge pile of papers ok tomorrow morning, and that we get the decision back as soon as possible. The wait to open that envelope searching for a refusal letter or a visa stamp in his passport is a horrible one too, glad I’m not there to go through that this time.

Let’s hope we hear ASAP and Berkay can join me in the UK for 3 weeks over Christmas and New Year. Wish us luck please! ❤

Turkish food shopping..in London!

Posted on October 22, 2013 by livingtheturkishdream

Today Dad took me to the Turkish Food Centre near us, and we stocked up on a few Turkish goodies. Always on the look out for new blog post ideas, I thought Id take a few photos and share the store for anyone else in London who may be experiencing withdrawal symptoms from their favourite Turkish snacks!

The TFC we went to is in Welling, south east London, but they have branches all over London. Click here to visit their site and see if there’s a store near you!

The shop has a selection of fruit and veg as well as a meat counter and bakery. The bakery sells that fresh Turkish bread we all love, along with all kinds of traditional Turkish cakes and pastries, most importantly there is a good selection of baklava too!

They sell everything else you could want, shampoo, toiletries, snacks, cakes, biscuits, crisps, juice, cheese, butter, all brands that you would find in Turkish shops and that you wouldn’t normally see in the UK. In typical Turkish style, the ‘pickled vegetables’ aisle was the biggest, along with huge jars of olives and bags of cay!

Everything in the shop seemed reasonably priced to me, more expensive than in Turkey, but not by much. We came away with a bag of Turkish tea, apple tea, sunflower seeds, simit bread, sachets of salep, cracker sticks, pop keks and wafer chocolates.

It was so weird seeing all these Turkish brands in the shop, it was like being back home in Fethiye! When you spend 2.5 years in a country you get used to their food and I really quite miss it when its not there anymore. Seeing the shampoo I used to buy in Turkey made me smile, sometimes it’s the small things! In the same way when going abroad you miss home comforts, when returning back after so many years, you miss things you never thought you would. It’s a lot of adapting, even down to the little things like which shampoo you buy!..Perhaps I’m just a little odd and too sentimental (: