Yes, I am now back in England.

Berkay and his friends took me to the airport on Thursday night and after a lot of tears, I got on the plane that bought me back to London Stansted at 5am Friday morning.

It was no doubt the hardest thing I’ve ever done, packing up my house was so sad, it was like I was removing all traces of myself from my home. Then it was time to say goodbye to my dog, Boncuk, and that’s when the tears really started. I went and gave her a big hug and kiss and I’m sure she could tell I was sad, instead of jumping up at me with a wagging tail as normal, she just jumped up and stood there, they do say animals can sense things… I hope she doesn’t forget me.

Next was the awful 45 minute car journey, we were both pretty much in tears the whole time. When we got to Dalaman airport we queued up together to check in, I am certain everyone else in the queue overhearing us must have just thought it was a typical holiday romance, English girl, Turkish boy, tears at the airport.. I was tempted to flash my residency permit in front of them and convince them otherwise, but was really too upset to be that bothered what they thought anyway.

An hour or so later, 2 hours before my flight left, we said our final goodbyes, hugged, kissed and shared plenty more tears. In the end I just had to go. I walked through security and passport control, looking back all the time and waving at him. The next 2 hours sitting alone in the food court was hell, thank God they had free wi-fi so I could distract myself with Facebook. I can’t even tell you how tempted I was to call Berkay and tell him to come back and get me and just not get on the flight…

Taking off was sad too, watching everything I love getting further and further away as we flew higher and higher. It was sad. But now it’s done. I’m back. Miles away from my home. My family are doing all they can to make we welcome, but the fact remains that my home is not here. I’m almost certain that instead of trying to get Berkay a visa, we’ll just settle in Turkey once I’ve worked and saved here for a few years. It’s going to take some adjusting living back here. We went to Asda today, it was so weird walking around and not seeing Turkish foods, not buying kilograms of fruit and vegetables. It was overwhelming and strange. On the plus side, I stocked up on pickled onion crisps and oreos. 

Berkay is still telling to go back everytime we speak on FaceTime, he found a flight for £35 in a few weeks and is telling me to book it. I wish I could. ):

I will still be updating this blog, I’m unsure what about, but I do have a few posts about Bodrum planned and am open to suggestions about anything else you want to see. (: